anwfamily

Male
from Lincoln, NE

  • Activity

    • Levi is gone.

      8 years ago

      anwfamily

      Deleting my account. I'm never on. If you want to talk or see me or anything, find me on facebook. I don't see why I should hang around this site when it's dead.

    • Five fucking years.

      8 years ago

      anwfamily

      ...And I'm feeling better. Things are trying to get better. I haven't taken anything in like half a week. I haven't touched a drop of alcohol in quite some time. I haven't really cried lately. And I'm feeling alright, as far as the problem goes.

      This site reminds me of the bad times in my life. All of them. From having no friends, to running with gangs, to becoming the teen I was. All the sex, all the drugs. Everything.

      Today, it is the five year anniversary of when I joined this site. I mean, what the hell? I'm eighteen years old. Time really flies...

    • So...

      8 years ago

      anwfamily

      basically nobody gets on here. I always get on, having hope that somebody still wants to hear from me. Not so much, eh?

      It's alright. I don't blame any of you. I'm not exactly a popular guy. But I've changed.

      A lot of change, actually. To drown out my sorrows, I took as my father and drank them all away. But I always wake up....

      It's always the same. I smoke a Swisher (or Phillie depending on the mood.) I pour a shot of Patron. (My favorite.) I stumble around, nearly crying. I drop to my knees, and I pray. I pray. Me. The man who never prayed.

      But enough of that.

      I had my wisdom teeth yanked out, and I've been high ever since.

      Now don't get it twisted. I'm not a drug addict. I'm not a drunk. I'm just a man having some troubles accepting the truth. But I keep trying to go straight. And as long as I don't give up, I will.

    • Advice of the day.

      10 years ago

      anwfamily

      Do not try to pee with a Darth Vader helmet on. For convenience purposes only, the nose area blocks right where the toilet is. And the fact that you are at your neighbors house doesn't make it any easier.

      That is all.

    • Peace.

      10 years ago

      anwfamily

      In a couple of minutes, I'll be leaving. I don't know what awaits me, just that I'm going.

    • Looking up...

      10 years ago

      anwfamily

      I find the answers are nowhere to be found.

      CAT scan showed up fine.
      Stool sample came up negative.
      Just gotta wait for the call for the blood samples, which should be tomorrow. Hopefully, they are negative.
      I have to return to Rochester for my colonoscopy and other thing with no name. April 27th, I am scheduled to go under.
      That means I have to miss school....and moreso, I have to go back to fuckin' Minnesota. God I hate that place. Quite possibly more than Michigan....nah.

      In other news, I found out today that I have a strong feeling on C-sections just for convienence. I don't understand why, but I got really really pissed off when I read that. I don't know, when it comes to babies, I have very strong opinions. My opinions are nearly the same as my mothers. But we have different viewpoints, and we discuss these often.
      I am currently in the process of writing a song based off of a music video. The song is Redemption by Shadows Fall. That video has a different meaning to me than I think they had intended. So I am writing my own version...with my own pains...

      But I'll put it up like tomorrow or something, hopefully along with the other song.

    • Spring Break

      10 years ago

      anwfamily

      So I survived another quarter. But how many times did I have to die? This question remains unanswered. And it seems to be uncared for.

      My spring break went as such.
      Friday: If I remember correctly, Amber came over.
      Saturday: Thinking back, I got nothing.
      Saturday: More disappointment. But what do I expect? I am hated and it will always be so.
      Monday: Watched time pass by. A terrible pasttime.
      Tuesday: I did the same, who would've guess it?
      Wednesday: Band practice sucked. Blame me. Then we had a party for my brothers birthday. (Hard to think it's been eleven years.....) Got in the the hand, butt and back with a plastic sword. Hurt like a bitch. Especially the one on my back. It actually cut me.
      Thursday: Drove all day to Rochester, Minnesota. It sucked.
      Friday: I had an appointment at the Mayo Clinic. After meeting with the doctor, she ordered several tests to be done, the majority that day. I had to get my blood drawn, which was cool. It made me feel young again. (The scenery, not the blood.) Went to go get a CAT scan, but they had me scheduled for tomorrow. But I got in on Friday. At 1:45, a lady came out and gave me four bottles and told me to drink one every fifteen minutes. Three bottles were Barium Sulfate. The last one was water. And it has never tasted better. But before I drank all that, they put an IV in my arm, but nothing else. Just the needle. It hurt and reminded me of some bad times. I went into the back to get the CAT scan. The nice nurse lady hooked me up to the IV. She said I'd feel really hot and I would feel like I had to pee. Sure enough, my inside temperature rise about three degrees. And I couldn't wait to get out of there to go pee. After getting out, I had to wait for the IV guy to get it out. I pee'd two times in a time period of five minutes. Mr. IV guy took it out, told me I was free to go. We walked down about twenty feet, and I had to stop to pee. Went down the elevator, had to go pee. (Two floors...) Walked down a hallway, had to go pee. After that, I had to poop in a bowl. I never want to do that again. It was worse than death. After I got out of the Mayo center, we left for St. Paul/Minneapolis. Every ten minutes, we had to stop. I ate Subway for the first time in five months. It was fantastic!!! At St. Paul, or wherever we were, I ate real pizza for the first time in five months.
      Saturday: We went to the Mall of America. It was smaller and bigger than I expected. I got a hat. It's hardcore. After a long day at the mall, we went to Hooters to have dinner with my cousin and his girlfriend and daughter and mother and stepfather. Our waitress didn't like Logan and I at first, but after a while, she warmed up. It started when Logan and I went pee. (Yes, it still plagued me.) She took Logans plate, which had nothing but lettuce on it. He threw a fit, just to bug her. She then proceeded to bring out a plate of just lettuce. He got so owned. Then he ate it to turn the joke on her. After that, we started taking pictures of her. (I got one of her as a pirate!) She threw ice down my shirt when I did that. It was cold, as you could imagine. After a while, we got her and all the other girls to sign stuff for us.
      Sunday (today): Got up, got in the car, and that's where I was all day. I hate traveling. I hate hotels. (They used to be okay, until I had to call hotels home...) Now I'm here, waiting for tomorrow just so I can go back to school. But on the positive side, for the time being, I do not have a disease. (more or less.) But in about a months time, I must get a colonoscopy. They gotta stick a camera up my butt. Good news though, I'll be drugged up.

      On the way home today, I started writing a song. I started writing it on the western side of Des Moines, Iowa. I don't remember where, although I believe it was from my English teacher, I was told a story of a nice man who's wife and unborn child were killed in a car accident. I'm writing a song on that. I'm only writing lyrics for now, but I'll put it to music soon enough.

      If anybody missed me, thank you. For those of you who didn't, I'm glad you won't miss me when I die.

      Peace.
      Much love to all.

    • It's rant-o'clock.

      10 years ago

      anwfamily

      If you're going to threaten me, don't do it over Myspace. I did not beat Amber. So please, don't pretend like you care and threaten my life. Because if you try to take my life, I will fight with every ounce of pain inside of me. And every single ounce amounts to more than you are capable of realizing. Remember, I didn't beat her with intentions. I was showing her how serious I was about her. And how ready I was to kill for her. If you would've known that, you would've never threatened my life. Because you want me dead, you have the greatest enemy you have ever faced. Your biggest concerns are of girls. I have fought more wars than you can comprehend. I will take your life without a regret. And I will take my time with it.


      Sorry about the rant. Wanted to get it out. It's not to any of you guys.

      So, Levi's back. Nobody missed him. I see that. That's alright though. Nobody really wants me anymore. Everybody is saying that I beat Amber. If I would've beat her, there would've been more bruises. Unfortanetly, there were none. So there is no evidence of abuse.

      In other news, I am starting to think. About changing my life...getting away from violence and hatred. Only one thing will change me, but it's not time for that....
      I started writing a poem. (I know, nothing new...but this is different...) It's a familiar old German poem, but I'm putting the Levi twist on it. I can only seem to write two stanzas a day....weird.
      Band is progressing well.
      What do you guys think of the name Elizabeth?

      I gotta go man. I hope y'all still wanna talk to me. I don't blame you if you don't though.
      Peace....

    • So...

      10 years ago

      anwfamily

      Seventeen years ago, at 3:15 in the afternoon, my mother spent her twenty first birthday giving birth to me. At three fifteen, I took my first breath of air. And I hope I never have a last one...I love my air...

      I didn't really get anything for my birthday. Amber gave me a teddy bear that says I love you. That is it. But whatever. The real gift was being able to spend time with the one I love. But then, Logan's girlfriend had to try and start crap again. God, I hate her. I was hugging Amanda, my best friend, because the one she thought of as a sister moved to Italy not even a week ago. So I held her so she wouldn't cry. Then Denisse started trying to get Amber to think I was cheating on her. What a bitch.

      Oh well. I'm done. I'm seventeen now...I'm getting too damn old....

    • Weekend recap

      10 years ago

      anwfamily

      I realize it is Tuesday, but I had two days off for semester break. My weekend was centered around on thing, and that was Amber.
      Friday Well, Friday, we got out of school at eleven ten(11:10). So I spent the day doing nothing. Then, around six or so, Amber came over. We 'watched' a movie. If anybody catches my drift...good job.
      Saturday I spent the day with Amber and her dad. Creepily, this guy is exactly like my father. They even talk the same. So, I felt like I knew him pretty good, considering my father and I are so alike.
      Sunday Amber came over and we watched Doom. Compared to the game, that movie sucked ass. Not that I was really watching the movie, but still.
      Monday I went over to Amber's house and had to hang with a friend of my long lost past. Aaron Hammer. For those who remember back three years, him and I used to have a love hate relationship. It always ended in violence. Nowadays though, he's dating Amber's sister. But it's her life.
      Tuesday Inaguration is pissing me off. I don't care that Obama is black. I judge people based on their actions. When he fucks up, he'll deserve my hatred. Until then, he's fine. So please, shut up. It's just angering me.

      In other news, the band has decided to allow Seaneri back into the band. Since his arrival, we have started playing much heavier and faster music. It's a lot of fun to play now.
      Also, Rachel and Andrew, never do that again. Or I will block both of you in hopes of never having to hear from you again.

      A Song For The Hopelessby All That Remains
      The day has ended
      I lay awake
      A soft glow over my shoulder
      I'll sleep soon
      Wake tomorrow and then it's all the same

      And I'll destroy the memories one by one
      The bitter past erased
      I'll not replace
      What's done is done

      No belief is all that's left and I do not regret
      The darkness welcomes me back home

      And I am still my own
      Can't take away

      And I feel the pain still deeply
      It seems sometimes too much to bear
      I have a core within me still
      My strength is there

      And I am still my own
      And I can't be made less
      I know who I am

  • Comments (1610)

    • Sexypunk7

      9 years ago

      i fucking miss you.

    • anwfamily

      9 years ago

      I hope so. Huskers always win, for me. (And the people on O street. They love it, win or lose.)

    • redsucks2224

      9 years ago

      They are doing better them most teams Ilike, haha

    • BrEaKmYhEaRt

      9 years ago

      okay.

    • BrEaKmYhEaRt

      9 years ago

      well that sucks.

      what's your problem?

    • BrEaKmYhEaRt

      9 years ago

      pissed.
      how are chu?

    • BrEaKmYhEaRt

      9 years ago

      hello.

    • burntdust

      9 years ago

      answer the ims

    • burntdust

      10 years ago

      did u listen to it??

    • burntdust

      10 years ago

      hey u should do me a favor and listen to Brand New. they are a really good band. my favorite album by them is Deja Intendo so listen to that one especially. ill tell you why later, but listen to the one thats on my profile by them.. just do it!

    • burntdust

      10 years ago

      if thats how ur gunna deal w my honesty then ok

    • burntdust

      10 years ago

      ... and ur gone again lol

    • burntdust

      10 years ago

      hey were both online at the same time for once!

    • rocker101

      10 years ago

      hey i put up a picture of me in my dress

    • redsucks2224

      10 years ago

      lol all I will be doing is shreddin this summer

    • _Nuge_

      10 years ago

      man you look so much different now from that old picture of you with the strat
      It's kind of funny how much someones appearance can change in just a couple of years

    • _Nuge_

      10 years ago

      I hate new ones, they just don't feel "right"
      Then I played one from 1963 and it just had a totally different feel
      Though it did take some getting used to, but after that I fell in love with them, haha.

    • Xsonz

      10 years ago

      Wicked. My hair takes forever to grow. But my beard grows back in 3 days after I shave.

    • rocker101

      10 years ago

      nice

    • CMR

      10 years ago

      ?

    • Xsonz

      10 years ago

      Cant think of anything else.
      do what you like, ill do what I like.

    • Xsonz

      10 years ago

      You should write about it in your xbox live bio.
      "the Hexic addict achievment changed my life"
      or something less sappy

    • Xsonz

      10 years ago

      The only pure achievment is one you get by accident.
      I never try to get achievments...
      They frustrate the hell out of me.

    • Xsonz

      10 years ago

      Some people just cant resist.
      An easy 1000 gamer points can corrupt anyone, like anything that requires low input=high output.

    • Xsonz

      10 years ago

      I really should be a deuch and play that game.
      Beef up my score.

    • Xsonz

      10 years ago

      I know. Games that have like a 500 fucking achievments and there all worth like 2 points.

    • Xsonz

      10 years ago

      its about 5.

    • redsucks2224

      10 years ago

      I think they are, thanks

    • redsucks2224

      10 years ago

      Ahh cool. Hope it goes well

    • burntdust

      10 years ago

      well i got hurt so congradulations. still doesnt explain why u lied to everyone

    • Sexypunk7

      10 years ago

      then say it in a message

    • redsucks2224

      10 years ago

      The only reasons why I put the flag up was
      because I joined the USSRVB Group
      I hate the Soviet Union and what it does wit ha passion, read the Gulag Archipelago and other works by Alexander Solzhenitsyn and you will see what communism does.......

    • huskergirlie

      10 years ago

      thanks for joining my group

    • redsucks2224

      10 years ago

      Uhhh, no

    • BrEaKmYhEaRt

      10 years ago

      it won't lemme send you a message...you gotta delete some

    • LuvIsSweet

      10 years ago

      Hey it won't let me send a message to you because you have to many in yoiur inbox...


      so you'll have to delete others your not using...or something...

    • Sexypunk7

      10 years ago

      thats different. it meant for random people.

    • redsucks2224

      10 years ago

      Yea, your right, it is like one. I will get it. I just need 1200 bucks, lol

    • Sexypunk7

      10 years ago

      nobody cares who's hoodie it is. the point is that it is mii teddy bear.

    • Blade54

      10 years ago

      what my friend Jim brought up is like, who would kill Dimebag?

    • Blade54

      10 years ago

      but, i dont know how a God can die then, ya know?

    • Blade54

      10 years ago

      i love all of Dimes songs
      but the solos, im a little more pickier of the solos i like
      but overall, Dime was such an amazing guitarist

    • Blade54

      10 years ago

      ah......thats hard for me man
      i would say either Walk or Domination
      you?

    • Blade54

      10 years ago

      go to Best Buy or something

    • Blade54

      10 years ago

      my friend Jim is over, were watching Dimevision right now

    • Blade54

      10 years ago

      hey whats up

    • redsucks2224

      10 years ago

      Yea, it looks like me on a daily basis, lol

    • Blade54

      10 years ago

      cool

      whos Rachel?

    • Blade54

      10 years ago

      hey whats up?

    • Sexypunk7

      10 years ago

      you dont know what?

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