• Activity

    • any one ?

      10 years ago

      beardedragon

      here ever read a library except me?

    • Best moments

      in Forums > Best moments | Follow this topic

      beardedragon

      I am Interested to know what your favorite moments are in the Show.

      I like First Person Shooter When Mulder is Packing

      1 reply

    • jokes

      11 years ago

      beardedragon

      A teenage girl goes to the doctor. He places a stethoscope against
      her chest and says, "Big breaths."
      She answers, "Yeth, thir, and I'm only thixteen."

      A woman went into a department store and told the clerk that she
      wanted to return a toaster for refund because it didn't work. The
      clerk told her that he couldn't give her a refund because she bought
      it on special.
      All of a sudden the woman threw her arms up and yelled, "Grab my
      Breasts! Grab my breasts!"
      The clerk didn't know what to do, so he called the store manager
      who asked her if he can help. She explained that she wanted to return
      the nonworking toaster for refund, and he told her that he would not
      give her a refund because she bought the toaster on special.
      Once again she yelled, "Grab my breasts! Grab my breasts!"
      The manager was taken aback and asked her why she was yelling that
      particular phrase.
      She replied, "Because I like my breasts grabbed when I'm getting
      screwed!"

      A woman and a baby came into the doctor's office. She was told to
      go into a room and wait for the doctor. He examines the baby and asks
      the woman, "Is he breast fed or on the bottle?"
      "Breast fed." she says.
      Well, strip down to your waist." he orders.
      She does.
      He presses both breasts, pinches them both, and then says,
      "No wonder this baby is hungry, you don't have any milk."
      "Naturally," she says, "I'm his aunt...But I'm glad I came."

      A middle-aged man had an obsession with women's breasts.
      So he went to a psychologist and told the doctor about his
      problem.
      "I am going to do word association," explained the doctor.
      "I am going to say a word, and you will say the first thing
      that come to your mind."
      "Oranges," said the doctor.
      "Breasts," replied the patient.
      "Apples."
      "Breasts."
      "Watermelons."
      "Breasts."
      "Wipers."
      "Breasts," said the patient with the same reply.
      "Wait a minute! I can see the connections between oranges,
      apples, watermelons and breasts. But automobile's wipers?
      Where is the connection?" asked the doctor.
      "Easy...one on the left and one on the right!"

      When I was in jr. high, all I wanted was a girl with big breasts...
      In high school, I dated a girl with big breasts, but there was no
      passion. So I decided I needed a passionate girl...
      In college, I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional...
      Everything was an emergency, she cried all the time. So I decided I
      needed a girl with some stability...
      I found a very stable girl, but she was boring. She never got
      excited about anything. So I decided I needed a girl with some
      excitement...
      I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She
      rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She
      was directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some ambition...
      After college, I found an ambitious girl and married her. She was
      so ambitious, she divorced me and took everything I owned...
      Now all I want is a girl with big breasts...

      A guy is walking through a fairground one day, when he notices a
      stunning redhead sprawled on the ground unconscious. Kneeling next
      to the beauty, he lightly slaps her face. No response. Then he rubs
      her wrists. Nothing. He even tries mouth to mouth. The gorgeous
      woman does not respond.
      Finally, the guy takes another tack. He unbuttons the girl's
      blouse, and slides it off her body. Then, unhooking her bra,
      he begins to massage and fondle her firm, soft breasts.
      The girl begins to moan and gasp in pleasure, her nipples
      stiffening, and finally her eyes flutter open.
      "Oh thank you," she sighs. Looking down at the guy's hands, still
      massaging her tits, she goes on. "Tell me, how did you think of such
      a novel way to revive me?"
      "It wasn't my idea," he says. "That guy over there kept shouting,
      "Rubber balloons...Rubber balloons!!"

      In several states, there are restaurants called Hooters. They only
      employ female wait staff, who are rather scantily clad. My girlfriend
      and I were eating at an outdoor restaurant right next to a Hooters.
      This one rather tan waitress came to take this guy's order, and she
      leaned as far forward as she could, offering him a view of her
      cleavage.
      My girlfriend asked, "What do you think her tips are like?"
      My response, "Probably a little darker than the rest of her."

    • one

      11 years ago

      beardedragon

      One Question
      1 question

      1 question.
      1 chance.
      1 answer.
      Thats all you get.

      You get to ask me 1 question.

      any one question,
      no matter how crazy it is.
      ANY 1 question!!

      I promise to answer it truthfully.

      The catch is,
      you have to repost this
      and see what people ask you.
      So go for it.

    • mistletoe game

      11 years ago

      beardedragon

      Now u gotta repost this as, Mistletoe game


      The 1st person to message you saying "I'd kiss you under the mistletoe.",


      will be your roosterteeth sweetheart.


      You'll be surprised just who wants to be yours.


      You have to do this even if you are taken!

    • lol

      11 years ago

      beardedragon

      Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of
      their local golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag called out to
      them, "Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up."

      "Sure," they said, "You're welcome."

      So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the
      newcomer.

      Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the
      newcomer, "What do you do for a living?" "I'm a hit man," was the
      reply.

      "You're joking!" was the response.

      "No, I'm not," he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a
      beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight. "Here
      are my tools."

      "That's a beautiful telescopic sight," said the other friend, "Can I
      take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here."

      So he picked up the rifle and looked through t he sight in the
      ! direction of his house.

      "Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can
      see right in the window."

      "Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom. Ha Ha, I can see she's
      naked!! Wait a minute, that's my neighbor in there with her......
      He's naked, too!!! The ****!"

      He turned to the hitman, "How much do you charge for a hit?"

      "I'll do a flat rate, for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull
      the trigger."

      "Can you do two for me now?"

      "Sure, what do you want?"

      "First, shoot my wife, she's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the
      mouth.

      Then the neighbor, he's a friend of mine, and just a kid, so just
      shoot his dick off to teach him a lesson."

      The hitman took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for
      a few minutes.

      "Are you going to do it or not?" said the friend impatiently.

      "Just be patient," said the hitman calmly, "I think I can save! you a
      grand here....."

    • jokes

      12 years ago

      beardedragon

      Is Hell Endo or exothermic?

      A retiring Phys Chem professor was setting his last exam, for a
      graduate course in statistical thermodynamics. Being a bit bored
      with it all, and with a well kept and wry sense of humour, he set
      a single question on the sheet:
      Is Hell endothermic or exothermic? Support your answer with a proof.
      He had little idea what to expect, or how to grade the results,
      but decided to reward any student who was able to come up with a
      reasonable and consistant reply to his querry. One A was awarded.
      Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's
      Law or some variant. The top student however wrote the following:
      First, we postulate that if souls exist, then they must have
      some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass.
      So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are
      souls leaving?
      I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell,
      it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for souls
      entering hell, lets look at the different religions that exist in
      the world today.
      Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
      religion, you will go to hell. Since there are more than one of these
      religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can
      project that all people and all souls go to hell.
      With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number
      of souls in hell to increase exponentially.
      Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle's Law
      states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay
      the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay
      constant. There are two possible conditions. One, if hell is
      expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter hell,
      then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase exponentially
      until all hell breaks loose. Conversely, if hell is expanding at a
      rate faster than the increase of souls in hell, than the temperature
      and pressure will drop until hell freezes over, condition two.
      We can solve this with the 1990 postulation of Theresa LeClair, the
      girl who lived across the hall from me in first year residence. Since
      I have still not been sucessful in obtaining sexual relations with
      her, condition two above has not been met, and thus it can be
      concluded that condition one is true, and hell is exothermic.
      The student got an A.

      It was the final examination for an introductory English course at
      the UW. Like many such freshman courses, it was designed to weed out
      new students, having over 800 students in the class! The examination
      was two hours long, and exam booklets were provided. The professor
      was very strict and told the class that any exam that was not on his
      desk in exactly two hours would not be accepted and the student would
      fail.
      One half hour into the exam, a student came rushing in and asked the
      professor for an exam booklet.
      "You're not going to have time to finish this," the professor said,
      as he handed the student a booklet.
      "Yes I will," replied the student. He then took a seat and
      began writing.
      After two hours, the professor called for the exams, and the students
      filed up and handed them in. All except the late student, who continued
      writing.
      A half an hour later, the last student came up to the professor who
      was sitting at his desk preparing for his next class. He attempted to
      put his exam on the stack of exam booklets already there.
      "No you don't, I'm not going to accept that. It's late."
      The student looked incredulous and angry. "Do you know who I am?"
      "No, as a matter of fact I don't," replied the professor with an air
      of sarcasm in his voice.
      "Do you know who I am?" the student asked again.
      "No, and I don't care," replied the professor with an air of
      superiority.
      "Good," replied the student, who quickly lifted the stack of
      completed exams, stuffed his in the middle, and ran out of the room.

      The rules at a particular university were if the professor was not
      present in the classroom by 15 minutes past the hour, the class was
      considered a "walk" and the students were free to leave with no
      penalties for missing a class.
      The rooms were equipped with the type wall clocks which "jumped"
      ahead each minute, in a very noticeable fashion. Also, these clocks
      were not of the most sophisticated construction. A few enterprising
      students discovered that if one were to hit the clock with chalkboard
      erasers, it would cause the clock to "jump" ahead 1 minute.
      So, it became almost daily practice for these students to take
      target practice at the clock (since a particular professor was not
      the most punctual, and the students considered him severely "absent-
      minded"). A few well aimed erasers, causing 15 minutes to pass, and
      class dismissed itself.
      Well, when the day for the next exam rolled around, the professor
      strolled into the room, passed out the exams, and told the students,
      "You have 1 hour to complete."
      The professor then proceeded to collect the erasers from around the
      room, and gleefully took aim at the clock. When he had successfully
      "jumped" the clock forward 1 hour, he closed the class and collected
      the exam papers.
      Life does teach some lessons the hard way.

    • fun

      12 years ago

      beardedragon

      I'm reading "The Prince" by Niccolo Machiavelli

    • AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      12 years ago

      beardedragon

      last night i got the new harry potter book. i went to bed woke at 10am finished at 11:08pm. it was the best one yet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • tee he

      12 years ago

      beardedragon

      What is the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus???????????????????????????



      It only takes one nail to hang the picture.(think about it)

  • About Me

  • Comments (138)

    • namadnoh

      10 years ago

      Congrats. on getting eagle.

    • Church110099

      10 years ago

      wow
      me and you are the only guys that listen to bloodrock

    • airpirate

      10 years ago

      Your wench be ready

    • 555666777

      10 years ago

      on the side in the small print i think was a list of effects it could have on you

    • cabboseiam

      11 years ago

      thanks dude

    • milo11

      11 years ago

      thanks man

    • milo11

      11 years ago

      hi whats up

      can you go here snooperfax.myminicity.com/

    • airpirate

      11 years ago

      I'm going to delete your comment but go back and you'll see why.

    • Beauty_Geek

      11 years ago

      either pokemon or naruto

    • imagamer27

      11 years ago

      Sorry I wasn't accurate.

    • Darknez

      11 years ago

      Links in my journal.

    • BATISTA19

      11 years ago

      give me a while. gotta find it again

    • airpirate

      11 years ago

      no i always watched it on the television

    • Devil_killer

      11 years ago

      i found that pic looking up random porn and stuff

    • norm2cool4u

      11 years ago

      i just got a bearded dragon 2 weeks ago

    • airpirate

      11 years ago

      thanks for the update

    • nascarfan248

      11 years ago

      add me

    • jtraven101

      11 years ago

      what's up dragon

    • Devil_killer

      11 years ago

      yo man hows it been

    • Devil_killer

      11 years ago

      nice pics

    • Devil_killer

      11 years ago

      yo man hows it been

    • Gattling

      11 years ago

      Blarg-honk

    • general08

      11 years ago

      To answer your question on that pic comment, yes we did....

    • cv6

      11 years ago

      hey whats up

    • allroundnice

      11 years ago

      To yourself, say the name of the only
      guy or girl you wanna be with 3
      times!
      *************************************************************
      2. Think of something you wanna accomplish
      within the next week and say it to your self 6
      times!!
      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
      >>
      3. If you had 1 wish what would it be? say it to
      yourself 9 times!!!
      -----------------------------------------------------------------------
      4. Think of something that you want to happen
      between you and that 1special person and say
      it to your self 12 times!!!
      --------------------------------------------------------------------
      5. Now, heres the hard part! Pick only 1 of these wishes and as
      you scroll down focus and
      concentrate on it and think on nothing
      else but that wish.
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      Now make one last &final wish about that one wish that you picked.
      After reading this, you have 1 hour to send it out to 15 people, and what
      you wished for will come true within in one week!
      u only get one chance!!!!! Now scroll down and think of your
      crush!!!
      Keep going down
      Keep going
      Keep going
      !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
      Did you think of your crush? I hope so, that was
      your last chance. Now pay very close attention this important message!
      Sorry but once read, must be sent. Yes, this is one of those kinda chain
      letters that everyone hates. This one has been going since 1863 and if you
      break this chain, you will pay!!!!!! Remember that after hearing these
      stories.

      First Example:
      Take Barbra Wallace.. She was a pretty lucky girl,
      up till she got this same chain letter. She had a crush on the same kid
      since kindergarden. when she got this mail she didn\'t pay any attention to
      it. She just thought, no big deal. And deleted it. The next day her dad
      got fired and her mom dies in a car crash. If she would have sent the
      letter none of that would have happened and her mom would be alive.

      Second Example:
      Try Freddie D. Now Freddie D. was your average
      nerd. Had glasses, was short and chubby, was in gifted. All the signs of
      your total dork. He also received this letter and sent it to 51 people in
      the hour. Now, like Barbra, he had a crush on a girl since 3rd grade. The
      next day after sending the chain the girl confessed her love for him ever
      since 3rd grade. Freddie D. finally had the courage to ask her out, and of
      course, she had been waiting to yes to that for years. They grew up and
      married each other to live happily forever.

      Third Example:
      Now if you couldn\'t relate to the others, this\'ll
      get ya hooked. Listen to this. A kid named Jordan Johnson was just
      getting on AOL to check his mail. He was a quiet kid, not that popular but
      not a geek either. he was just normal. He saw he had mail from his
      friend. It was this exact letter. Now Jordan Johnsen was a smart kid and
      he knew what could happen if he didnt pass it on. He simply pulled a few
      friends from his buddy list and sent it along. The next day, about that
      same time, he got a phone call. It said he had won the lottery! then his
      dad came home and bought him a new bike! His mom bought him Nintendo64 and
      play station! His grandmother sent him a new computer, and his best friend
      gave him tickets to the concert he wanted to go to, Kid Rock and Limp
      Bizkit! Then he inherited a brand-new tv from his aunt! He was goin\' wild!
      the next day his secret crush asked him out, and they have been going out
      ever since.

      Now, you heard the stories. I know which person i\'d rather
      be, but thats up to you. I wouldn\'t wanna end up like Barbra but thats
      only me. We all want what we cant have but now\'s ur chance to go out with
      that special somebody ur waiting for. Take it or leave it. If you send
      this to-
      1 person- you will lose all luck in ur love
      life.....forever!!!!!
      10 people- your crush will say they like you as a
      friend......ONLY!!!!!
      15 people- your crush will say they like you
      20 people- your crush will ask you out!
      25 people- your crush will kiss you!!
      35 people or more- All of the above!!
      Don\'t blow it, it\'s ur chance to shine! Have
      everything u wanted, and more! Now, complaining cus u dont have any
      friends. Well theres an answer 4 everything. It\'s simple, just go in a
      chat room, pick some names and send away! but here\'s the catch.....you only
      have one hour to send it after being read. Please pass this to everyone u
      know and keep it going

    • ReconWhore

      11 years ago

      By your picture it is saying you get no action what so ever

    • YllowSpartan

      11 years ago

      Dude nice pics. I mean really nice pics. besides that wats up?

    • spikep

      11 years ago

      enegerizer bunny

      That's gone be my sex quote smiley0.gif

    • cml1983 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      11 years ago

      soon but not yet

    • Gattling

      11 years ago

      Dude, bounce through my page to the new forum I just posted. You might find it interesting. Tell your friends.

    • beepmaster

      11 years ago

      my new shit po.jpg?t=1189917946

    • SuperTurd

      11 years ago

      Could you comment on my stuff some time? Thanks.

    • blitzschlag

      11 years ago

      thanks, i tried to think of something obscure. so i figured bunny... deynonichus!

    • DivaLindsey

      11 years ago

      hi. how are you?

    • Markkoo79

      11 years ago

      HI

    • grievous501

      11 years ago

      hey check out my new pics

    • sniper_09

      11 years ago

      tealvsblack.wetpaint

    • beepmaster

      11 years ago

      if u think thats good what to u see the others

    • beepmaster

      11 years ago

      tell me is this awesome or what beepmaster46d11dab1f880.jpg

    • bo5987

      11 years ago

      Yep Its gonna b the best FPS

      of 2007 and remember



      On September 25th... We Finish the Fight

    • pimpmidget

      11 years ago

      same here

    • pimpmidget

      11 years ago

      same here

    • pimpmidget

      11 years ago

      i know hes fucking halarious
      but check the comment after yours

    • CoolLink4

      12 years ago

      ok i sent u a message and i just made a journal about talking to me

    • SK8ER4L1F3

      12 years ago

      haha thanks
      i owe you one

    • gho5tv4b

      12 years ago

      lol np man

    • SK8ER4L1F3

      12 years ago

      yeah
      a whole 17 years

    • weirdtop360

      12 years ago

      hey...whats up?

    • utopia

      12 years ago

      dude i love the image gallery!! nice

    • Gattling

      12 years ago

      Ass.

  • Questions

    No questions have been answered yet