blargothon

Male
from South Berwick, ME

  • Activity

    • Kinda creepy iff you ask me...

      10 years ago

      blargothon

      So... ya my roomate hasn't spoken to me in about two days now... and it's kinda creeping me out. I mean I know he's upset that he doesn't have a job right now, but moping around and being an anti social dickhole won't help either. It's like he's waiting for someone to come over and say "excuse me are you a lazy depressing cynical asshole, yes? Than do I have a job for you!". I know the economy sucks right now and people have it rough but at least there making an honest effort to be employed.
      I get it things are tough but you can't just let life get to you that much, if thats the one message I can get to people in the world of internets then I will die happy. I know he's dealing with a lot of shit but if you just let it pile on and don't do anything about it (or for example lie in bed and feel sorry for yourself) it's gonna completely destroy you. Speaking of dying that brings me back to the reason I wrote this, my roomates creepy silent treatment is kinda got me paranoid... If I happen to mysteriously die in the next few days... well.... that probably means one of a few things. First my roomate finally snapped and brought me in on a murder suicide (yay, happy thoughts). Second he read this and my death was justified (which is why I'm typing it on this random myspace wannabe website (HIGH FIVE!). Or third I died from a unrealted incident involving... I don't know... pigeons....whatever. Hopefully this will help put two and two together, or at least make me feel better by bitching him out on the internet where he can't see it.
      Me, I'ma gonna sleep with a loaded shotgun for a few weeks... you know what fuck that sleep part.

    • Booooooring......... Really....

      10 years ago

      blargothon

      Hey yokels and so forth. Today I just wanted to do something stupid and random for all of you to ignore... But still, it must be done. So without another wasted second here is me.(actual results may varie)

      7:00AM- Alarm goes off

      7:30AM- I wake up screaming something about Shaving cream and a naked Ernest Borgnine, then upon realizing today is not christmas or any other good gift giving holiday, I through my alarm clock out the adjacent window. Sleep ensues.

      8:35AM- The phone rings tearing me away from my favorite My Little Pony dream... It's Hannaford, apparently I was supposed to be at work an hour and a half ago... shit. I calmly explain that I am nearly there and am talking to them on my car phone as I approach... Of course they then remind me I picked up the call on my house phone... Thinking quickly I tell them they have the wrong number, then hang up, and flush the phone down the toilet for good measure.

      8:40AM- Begin getting ready for work, tasks to do eat, shave, bathe, brush teeth, apply anti-stink cake (deodorant), and get dressed. However it appears I fell asleep in my work clothes from yesterday again, so I say "fuck it" and I'm out the door.

      8:41AM- I run into Roomate Mike on my way out, and he's all like "You owe me for three months rent!", and I'm all like "Yeah, well popsicles are for the summer!". While I have him confused I kick him in the shin and run out the door.

      9AM- I arrive at work, Adam the manager/pig-fucker awaits me and inquires to why I am so late. Using my genius smartitude, I contrive a story about me killing someone on the way over and spending all morning trying to find a way to hide the body, then I offer him some home-made jerky... works every time.

      9:01AM-11AM- I stare blankly into space pretending to be reading a employee safety guide nodding in agreement at parts, and yelling obsenities whenever I get to a word I don't understand, laugh at pictures of people loosing fingers.

      11AM- Break, read comics in breakroom, making necessary adjustments, turn Brenda Starrs head into a butthole with sharpie.Awsome.

      11:15AM- Break over, work on Deli counter for a while helping customers. Old Lady asks for turkey sliced extra thin... attempt to resist urge to smash her head through glass meat case... fail.

      11:20AM-11:33AM- Not allowed near living customers anymore... probably for the best. Spend time in kitchen stealing random things, spatula, spray bottle, crouton, fryalator. My christmas shoppings done.

      11:34AM- Like I do everyday at 11:34, laugh loudly at nothing for at least a minute making sure eveyone notices... all part of the plan.

      1PM- Come out of self induced trance, just in time for lunch. Eat Hot Pocket of the day. Use sharpy to completely cover all panels of comic For Better Or Worse, use exacto blade to carve words "SO MUCH PAIN" into blackness... Gotta keep them guessing.

      1:30PM- Come back from lunch. Fill salad bar, but not with normal ingredients, but with things like, M&M's, tinker toys, dice, and live ferrets.

      3:30PM- Say "Fuck this, I'm leaving" two hours before shift ends. Craft a crude stand-in of myself to fool manager made mainly out of peices of fried chicken that fell under prep table. Marvel in awsomeness for at least 5 minutes.

      4PM- Arrive home, find Mike still huddled over holding shin breathing heavily like Peter Griffin. Begin video gaming.

      6:45PM- Actually starving to death, so I take a handful of gummi bears (dinner) and resume jugar videojuegos.

      7PM- Get call fom Hannafords from toilet phone. They say there very impressed with the work Fried Chicken Sean did today, and want to thank me for all the overtime I (he) put in. I simply say "Thanks, I hate you" then fart into the reciever and wing the phone at Mikes head.... he goes down... hard.... he's very still... So I decide to make nachos.

      7:30PM- Fire.... lots of fire.... Maybe Mike won't notice...(Note to self- Learn to use stove)

      7:30PM til 12AM- Go on the Internet, Watch TV, AND listen to the radio all at once... with one hand... Oh yes, I'm a marvel... Why don't I have a girlfriend?

      12AM- sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeppp.

      1:28 AM- Feel someone punching me in my sleep, realize it's Mike, go back to sleep. He'll tire himself out eventually.

      5:35AM- Mike stops my well deserved pummeling and retires. And I bleed myself to sleep to dream of an Intervention for me and my addiction to Gummi Bears... Seriously its getting kinda outta hand... I won't live to see my thirties at this rate.... Ha.

    • Yaaaaaaaaawwwnn.......huh? uhhhhh list

      10 years ago

      blargothon



      Aftershave...PINECONES!!! What....oh sorry didn't see you there....or at all for that matter....ANYWAY I was just bored and decided to rip a journal entry straight out of the darkest corners of my wretched little asshole.....wow I took that too a place even I didn't want to go to....My brain is mean......Anyway again here are some things that have been on my mind lately, eh-hem

      1.)Cardboard

      2.) Spicy Cheetos

      3.) Comic books

      4.) Afro's

      5.) Things that get soggy in milk

      6.) Homeless people

      7.) Ostriches and the reasons they cannot be trusted

      9.) What happened to #8?

      10.) Fire.......is pretty....

      11.) Do poisonous liquids taste good? And do I have the balls to find out?

      12.) Spencers gifts

      13.) Alfonso Roberto.... Whoever he is....Seriously I have no idea how I know that name.

      14.) The way cats look at you...you know what I mean

      15.) Ventriliquist dummies are terrifying

      16.) How long should this list be? And is anyone even reading it.....no then lets continue.

      17.) Do I have the balls to quit my current job...God I hope so....what? Listen they can't all be funny!!!!

      18.) Why am I the only one I see picking up change on the ground? Seriously.

      19.) Pull your pants up you wannabe piece of gangster shit!!! Seriously I want to find the guy who invented that trend buy him a belt and choke him to death with it....heh heh violence

      20.) Why doesn't Michael Cole like boobies?

      21.) What the point of disclaimers are if it just makes people want to do it more...At the beginning of that jackass show the disclaimer should of said....WARNING: IF YOUR DUMB ENOUGHT TO ACTUALLY TRY THIS SHIT AND THINK ITS A GOOD IDEA TO DO THINGS YOU SEE ON TV WHERE THE PEOPLE ON THE SHOW SAYS IT HURTS LIKE HELL THEN BY ALL MEANS DO IT, HOPEFULLY THE WORLD WILL BE A LITTLE LESS STUPID WITHOUT YOU....BETTER YET WHY DON'T YOU JUST SAVE SOME TIME GET A KNIFE AND RUN INTO IT YOU JACKASS....see problem solved.

    • Something to get off my chest....

      10 years ago

      blargothon

      Alright I've come to an important decision in my life, one that could possibly change the course of my, and everyone close to me...

      I don't care for M&M's

      You may be find yourself askin. "Why Sean?", or "Whats your problem with M&M's?", or even "Are you some kind of adult retard?".

      Well I have a perfectly sane reason for this, they try to be something there not, there the posers of the candy family. Look at Skittles, you eat a skittle you know what your getting, red strawberry, green lime, yellow lemon. Simple right? Now lets look at M&M's, red chocolate, green chocolate, yellow MOTHERFUCKING CHOCOLATE!!! I'm sorry but I believe that candies should taste like the color they have, and I know people are saying "But Sean wouldn't it be boring if they were all brown, also your awsome and here's a mini chicken pot pie" Well to that I call all types of bull honkery. So you think that things should be ashamed of what they are on the inside, and they should change to appeal your selfish desires of colorful candies? Well that makes you rascist... and a hooker!

      Now I'm not saying everything should taste like they look, I'm not going around town licking fire hydrants going
      " Aww shit, dog piss flavored again!!" No that doesn't make sense... It's like typing shit on the internet... Fucking dumb.

      Now do I think M&M's should be abolished for this crime? No but I do think they should include a warning on there label that reads "WARNING- The candies contained in the pouch may appear colorful and tasty, but I assure you no matter how delicous and random they look, I assure you they are in fact chocolate. I sincerely apologize for any allusions of greatness. Also we advise you to deposit this bag in a nearby trash reciprical and buy no less that 23 bags of delicous Skittles candies and invite you to taste a rainbow instead of a stinky anus. We apologize for wasting your time." THE END.

    • Okay one other person in this group!!

      in Forums > Okay one other person in this group!! | Follow this topic

      blargothon

      Lets get some dialouge going here!
      What do you think of the new Knothole Island Expansion on X-box Live, I got it last night amd finished it in about 4 hours. I tried to get every single second out of it collecting every item getting every achievement (all three of them). I think it was well worth the 10 bucks I payed for it. Plus I can't be sure but I think the island also contains a way to get your dog back for real, someone might want to check that for me because with my hero I still had him.

      2 replies

    • Awwww Matt Hardy.....

      in Forums > Awwww Matt Hardy..... | Follow this topic

      blargothon

      Matt Hardy lost the ECW title Tuesday as many people know... is sad, but at the same time I'm kinda glad he fought someone besides Mark Henry for the thirteenth week in a row. Do you think he should get a remtach or go on the better things?

      2 replies

    • 2019 years ago

      blargothon
    • 2019 years ago

      blargothon
    • 2019 years ago

      blargothon
    • 2019 years ago

      blargothon
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  • Comments (1)

    • blargothon

      10 years ago

      Hey DoucheHammer watch your back..... I'm watching you....

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