• Activity

    • Reborn

      13 years ago

      chaosjoker14

      Well, where do I start. Be prepared. Because this will be a long journal. Here we go.

      Austin: The truth behind the name

      Where do I start. I'm going to explain my life in the past 3 weeks thouroughly(sp?). I was in a suicidal state of depression. Going insane. Losing all the stops. Jumping from one state of mind, one thought, to another. After my almost unbearable breakup with Cece. I was losing my mind. Slowly taking the agony in. Like a poison in a needle, slowly killing me inside. Ripping me, inside and out. I was (sic). I was lost, without God, without hope, without anyone. At this point i was so low in my mind, any kind of of reconnection with God, such as church. I would accept. The day of my breakup, I went next door to a old friend of mine's house. To get some sort of comfort from my insanity. He helped me a lot, telling me that I need to pray, and reconnect with God. He then invited me to a Bible Study in a town called Sunnyvale right by where I live. It would just be around 20 of us, in someone's house. Praising the lord, eating, playing games, and just hanging out. I thought, "Why not?", and accepted the offer. I went the following Wendesday to it. It was the most fun I have ever had in my entire life. Jusat hanging out, with 20 guys and girls, all between 14 and 18. All in high school. We ate pizza, played games, and then praised and worshiped. It was awesome. The following Thursday. I changed. I sat down with my bible. Alone time. Thinking. Going down this suicidal state of mind will never end, and when it does. I will more than likely go to hell. I then. Changed. My entire world was flipped. I accepted Christ. I knew what I had to do. I wanted to believe. In God, Jesus, Christ. I accpeted Christ into my heart and into my life. And that was it. I was reborn. Now, one week later. And another Bible Study session later. I told everyone, my decision, my change. Everyone was so proud. Including my mother. As I am now reborn. I will continue to believe. I will praise, believe, and follow. I will be a follow of god. A believer.

      Relationships

      After Cece and I broke up I felt like. I would never be whole again. In that same suicidal state of mind as stated above. At the Bible Study stated above. I met this one girl. Payton. She is the cutest girl I have ever seen. Like an angel, she is a christian girl. One who has morals. Exactly what I want and need. Me and her are good friends at the moment. Talking and saying "Hey, what's up?" and such to each other constantly. She is awesome. I could imagine myself with her so easily. Here are some pictures of her.
      1015223351_m.jpg
      1037348451_m.jpg
      986780596_m.jpg
      On the left:
      24e2bfb.jpg
      16as0sg.jpg

      Right now I have a huge crush on her. I am going to ask her out soon. Wish me luck.

      School

      Is a pain. But, effing awesome. I am a freshman. It owns. Seniors don't pick on us, which is a good thing. Here is my class schedule. The system is that I have 4 classes a day. Each 1 hour and 45 minutes long. "A" classes are one day. "B" classes are the other 4 classes the next day. So they alternate. And so forth. Here they are.

      1A: Health Science/ PE (Health Science S1/ PE S2) ("S" stands for semester.)
      2A: Geometry (Yes, I know I'm in 9th grade and taking Geometry, I'm smart. :P)
      3A: Theatre 1 (My favorite class.)
      4A: Spanish 2 (Took Spanish 1 in 8th Grade.)
      1B: BCIS (Business Computer Information Systems. It's a required course here.)
      2B: English 1
      3B: World Geography
      4B: Pre AP Biology (Smart people's Biology. :P)

      There's my schedule for ya. High school is soooo much more fun than Middle school. Guaranteed.

      Changes

      I am going to be adding my stats and a daily bible verse to each of my journals from now on. Also, a cool sig that I made recently.

      Stats
      Posts- 935
      Staff Awards- 3
      Watchers- 38
      Journal Entries- 78
      Karma- +40 smiley1.gif
      Profile Views- 5,190
      Journal Views- 2,358


      God bless you all.

      Austin

      Psalm 43:5
      Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.

      austinc4dsigcy7.jpg

    • Reborn

      13 years ago

      chaosjoker14

      Well, where do I start. Be prepared. Because this will be a long journal. Here we go.

      Austin: The truth behind the name

      Where do I start. I'm going to explain my life in the past 3 weeks thouroughly(sp?). I was in a suicidal state of depression. Going insane. Losing all the stops. Jumping from one state of mind, one thought, to another. After my almost unbearable breakup with Cece. I was losing my mind. Slowly taking the agony in. Like a poison in a needle, slowly killing me inside. Ripping me, inside and out. I was (sic). I was lost, without God, without hope, without anyone. At this point i was so low in my mind, any kind of of reconnection with God, such as church. I would accept. The day of my breakup, I went next door to a old friend of mine's house. To get some sort of comfort from my insanity. He helped me a lot, telling me that I need to pray, and reconnect with God. He then invited me to a Bible Study in a town called Sunnyvale right by where I live. It would just be around 20 of us, in someone's house. Praising the lord, eating, playing games, and just hanging out. I thought, "Why not?", and accepted the offer. I went the following Wendesday to it. It was the most fun I have ever had in my entire life. Jusat hanging out, with 20 guys and girls, all between 14 and 18. All in high school. We ate pizza, played games, and then praised and worshiped. It was awesome. The following Thursday. I changed. I sat down with my bible. Alone time. Thinking. Going down this suicidal state of mind will never end, and when it does. I will more than likely go to hell. I then. Changed. My entire world was flipped. I accepted Christ. I knew what I had to do. I wanted to believe. In God, Jesus, Christ. I accpeted Christ into my heart and into my life. And that was it. I was reborn. Now, one week later. And another Bible Study session later. I told everyone, my decision, my change. Everyone was so proud. Including my mother. As I am now reborn. I will continue to believe. I will praise, believe, and follow. I will be a follow of god. A believer.

      Relationships

      After Cece and I broke up I felt like. I would never be whole again. In that same suicidal state of mind as stated above. At the Bible Study stated above. I met this one girl. Payton. She is the cutest girl I have ever seen. Like an angel, she is a christian girl. One who has morals. Exactly what I want and need. Me and her are good friends at the moment. Talking and saying "Hey, what's up?" and such to each other constantly. She is awesome. I could imagine myself with her so easily. Here are some pictures of her.
      1015223351_m.jpg
      1037348451_m.jpg
      986780596_m.jpg
      On the left:
      24e2bfb.jpg
      16as0sg.jpg

      Right now I have a huge crush on her. I am going to ask her out soon. Wish me luck.

      School

      Is a pain. But, effing awesome. I am a freshman. It owns. Seniors don't pick on us, which is a good thing. Here is my class schedule. The system is that I have 4 classes a day. Each 1 hour and 45 minutes long. "A" classes are one day. "B" classes are the other 4 classes the next day. So they alternate. And so forth. Here they are.

      1A: Health Science/ PE (Health Science S1/ PE S2) ("S" stands for semester.)
      2A: Geometry (Yes, I know I'm in 9th grade and taking Geometry, I'm smart. :P)
      3A: Theatre 1 (My favorite class.)
      4A: Spanish 2 (Took Spanish 1 in 8th Grade.)
      1B: BCIS (Business Computer Information Systems. It's a required course here.)
      2B: English 1
      3B: World Geography
      4B: Pre AP Biology (Smart people's Biology. :P)

      There's my schedule for ya. High school is soooo much more fun than Middle school. Guaranteed.

      Changes

      EDIT: This journal was a mistake. I accidentaly posted half of it on accident. Read the above journal for the story. Thank you.

    • Art

      13 years ago

      chaosjoker14

      fierynights2vi0.jpg

      Just made this in photoshop.
      Comments?

    • Alone

      13 years ago

      chaosjoker14

      Cece and I are done. We are to remain good friends. But nothing more. I can't accept it. I love her so much I would die for her. But, I'm gonna have to move on.

      chaosjoker14.png

    • Gone.

      13 years ago

      chaosjoker14

      My father as I know it. Is gone. I don't care about him anymore. He can die. He is a selfish inconsiderate prick and his total whore of a wife can leave me be.

      I may be an only child but I don't care. My mom and my dad had a talk, and my dad decided to not call me anymore. I already hate him. I hate him even more now.

      I hate him so much I will more than likely not go to his funeral one day soon. His excessive drinking will one day kill him. And I will not be there.

      As I speak I am writing a song over this whole ordeal.

      Goodbye Father.

      I may not see you ever again.
      Have a nice life. Enjoy what time you have left.

      Austin
      chaosjoker14.png

    • Good and Bad

      13 years ago

      chaosjoker14

      Recent events in my life have caused me to change serverly.

      After my stabbing myself incident a few weeks ago, my mom found out about it recently. She freaked out majorly and decided to send me to a doctor.

      I will be seeing the doctor within the next week.

      I am still with Cecelia. But, I feel as though she dosen't love me and that she might be cheating on me.

      The reason that I even stabbed myself in the first place was because of depression. I was alone, and had no friends, and no girl. Or anything. I may have a girl now, but. I feel as though everything I said above is true.

      My mom is scared for me, and she is fearing I may be following a suicidal path.

      All I want is to have friends. Have a girl, and have friends around here to hang out with and go to movies with, ect. Have a girl to be with, kiss, hug, and love.

      I may not be here for a while. I will be around, but not as active. I'm not sure.

      All I ask is for all of your support at this time.

    • Nevermind

      13 years ago

      chaosjoker14

      I'm not single. I found out the whole story with my girlfriend Cecelia and everything.

      It was all a misunderstanding of mine.

      I need to learn to stay calm and not worry as much.

      As of now.

      I am officially in love and happily e-married to Cecelia!
      Well, I am in my opinion. smiley8.gif

      smiley12.gifsmiley12.gifsmiley12.gif Cecelia smiley12.gifsmiley12.gifsmiley12.gif

    • Single.

      13 years ago

      chaosjoker14

      I am e-single.

      That's right. Me, e-single.

      Who wants to e-date me?

    • Landmarks

      13 years ago

      chaosjoker14

      My landmarks have been updated.

      Check it out if you like.

    • WOOOOT!!!!!!!!!

      13 years ago

      chaosjoker14

      I GOT MY AWARD FROM MATT!!!!!!!!!!

      MODS FOR THE FIRST 5 THAT POST!!!!!

  • About Me

  • Comments (230)

    • Steve88

      12 years ago

      I''m alright, had a hard time lately

    • Steve88

      12 years ago

      hi, haven't seen u for a while
      how r u

    • Steve88

      12 years ago

      hi. Just saying hello heh

    • Steve88

      12 years ago

      thanks for the request, I hope you put me on watch too:) I'm watching you lol

    • jlove45

      13 years ago

      Can I send you a friend request on xbox live?

    • BobbyRulZ924

      13 years ago

      Yes...the Knot is awesome. You can send a FR, I don't mind someone who likes my music. smiley0.gif

    • usethefork

      13 years ago

      Um, sure! smiley0.gif

    • kahnefan001

      13 years ago

      *cough* LIES*!

    • omo

      13 years ago

      uh we were?? r u sure about that??

    • Dman82

      13 years ago

      Yeah he'll make a mistake sooner or later.

    • Dman82

      13 years ago

      Basically he put on his title PWND Dman82 because he and hellslayer spammed my forum. After we banned them we were able to clean up the mess in 15 minutes.

    • IAMCHURCH

      13 years ago

      Will you edit your post? I don't want people to just read your post and know what it says.

    • Dman82

      13 years ago

      I take it you also are aware to what he did in my forum?

    • Dman82

      13 years ago

      I see you hate him as well.

    • Joe_2

      13 years ago

      pokemon > ukrash

    • Joe_2

      13 years ago

      UkrashIsNoob

      Fucking Exactly!

    • 3v4n

      13 years ago

      I agree with your title.

    • ukrash

      13 years ago

      OH YEAH!!!!!!!

    • ukrash

      13 years ago

      but it could be if you wanted it to. smiley8.gifsmiley12.gif

    • ukrash

      13 years ago

      same here, but as they say, what happens on rvb stays on rvb. smiley12.gif

    • ukrash

      13 years ago

      I like your title. smiley8.gif

      wanna be bum buddies?

    • Crunchbite58

      13 years ago

      It says you aren't accepting them.

    • Crunchbite58

      13 years ago

      Sure, I used to be friends with you too. Could you open up your friend button?

    • Crunchbite58

      13 years ago

      He uses gamesaves, trust me. If you looked at his achievements, you would see he got the Unlocked all costumes achievement 1 day before he got the BBD's Costume Complete achievement. That technically doesn't make sense.

      Most of the top 25 Gamerscore leaders are cheaters as well, it's impossible to stop them.

    • 3v4n

      13 years ago

      Knock yourself out.

    • Crunchbite58

      13 years ago

      He cheats with his achievements though, I noticed he got 1000 on Rumble Roses in 2 days. That's impossible.

    • Crunchbite58

      13 years ago

      Is he a member of this site?

    • Crunchbite58

      13 years ago

      Well his Gamertag isn't exactly welcoming.

    • Crunchbite58

      13 years ago

      What's your friend's gamertag?

    • infiltrate

      13 years ago

      Just send it to me on RvB.

    • Brittewater FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      13 years ago

      Look, you are young, and I want you to remember that if something in a relationship goes wrong, trust me when I said it's not the end of the world. You can handle it and although it hurts a hell of a lot at the time, you can make it through, just remember that for the future. No matter how much in love a couple is, there is always a rough patch that they hit and if they don't make it through then they don't make it through, but their lives will go on and they will heal.

    • infiltrate

      13 years ago

      Good luck. smiley8.gifsmiley1.gif

    • infiltrate

      13 years ago

      You should go to a video game store and play 360 there. smiley8.gif
      Just kiding! Where are you guys going?

    • infiltrate

      13 years ago

      I had to camp outside of a Best Buy for 13 hours to get mine. I did it with a few friends and there were other people online to talk to so it was actually fun.

    • infiltrate

      13 years ago

      True dat (I think)

    • infiltrate

      13 years ago

      That would be cool if you lived around here. Crunchbite doesnt play paintball (pussy smiley8.gif )

    • rowa

      13 years ago

      Hope it works out with your girl. smiley8.gif

    • rowa

      13 years ago

      Are you suicidal? wtf? smiley2.gif

    • nighthawk14

      13 years ago

      What?

    • kharma

      13 years ago

      well than why?

    • Templar895

      13 years ago

      Find your own.

    • Templar895

      13 years ago

      Rofl.

    • dentedhalo

      13 years ago

      meanie. liar.

    • Templar895

      13 years ago

      Curtis, take Mr. "Austin" into holding.

    • Templar895

      13 years ago

      I WILL END YOU

    • Brittewater FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      13 years ago

      It was probably because we didn't talk and because of your age I figured you was a random friend request from a while ago and I went through and removed people I didn't remember. Sorry

    • Templar895

      13 years ago

      My name is Jack Bauer.

      Terrorists are planning to assassinate the President.
      My e-wife has been raped.
      And I dont care for the former.

      Today. Is the longest day of my life.

    • Templar895

      13 years ago

      Lies.

    • Templar895

      13 years ago

      NO YOU DIDNT

      *e-abortion*

    • Templar895

      13 years ago

      Thank goodness, Im not a big fan of all the blood.

      AND YOU DONT HAVE LEGS BECAUSE I REMOVED THEM WHEN YOU WERE STILL IN THE WOMB

  • Questions

    No questions have been answered yet