chopstickgod

Male
from West Side, MA... dont ask

  • Activity

    • Fuck you... i'm hammered

      9 years ago

      chopstickgod

      so i am allowing myself to just tye what is on my mind while i am hammered to test a social experiment,,, i really have a hard time typing and sentence structure is thrown out the window. i have a serious problem hiccuping and it is usually causing my misspelling. i think that no one will read this journal and that all of the people that follow this are dead and gone!

    • As i sit and think,

      9 years ago

      chopstickgod

      I begin to wonder what happened to all the different people that have spent a signifigant time in my life. are they better for it? are they non-responsive? i have spent my whole life trying to help other people, and to make their life as complete as possible with out taking any consideration for myself. and where has it gotten me? am i the same guy that wanted to be the light at the end of the tunnel for you? as i tried to be for so many people before? the lives and stories that were shared, passed along the different ideals and tribulations. did they not help? or were they just not listening?.. did they think that mine didnt hold some sort of moral? why do they go and learn for themselves? going and making the same mistakes that i was trying to help them not to commit, each enabling me to relive all of these pretty traumatic experiences. i am young but i have seen alot... i havent seen everything, but i have seen enough to allow me to make decisions about right and wrong.
      i have seen some crazy things, some of which i dont even believe and kinda come off as ridiculous, but sometimes they are what they are and you have to except them for what they are. As i sit here and write all this down i am trying to understand the liability of man... we have an innate way of hindering ourselves and taking things away that will help out progress as both people, and as a community. i am really concerned as i have learned first hand.... i will finish this later because i am tired, my brain just shut down

    • So the basics...

      10 years ago

      chopstickgod

      I started on this site many years ago... young and lost in the trample of ideas based on the fact that i needed security. I posted often and with nothing really to say. i pretended that what i had to say meant something, that it was something worth reading. It was really just the frantic ideas of a small child. Scared of loss, Scared of being alone, Scared of life, Scared that the ideas that you have lived your life was the wrong way to live. Scared that your friends that said they would always be there, were nothing more then what you saw at the beginning and chose to ignore. Trying so hard to fix the flaws of myself that i saw in others. I have found that they are only human. the flaws in others are unchangeable except by themselves, but those flaws are what makes us who we are. If what we are, are the flaws of our personality. the people that are the meanest, dirtiest and all in all are bad people, seem to be, almost glorified by our current society.

      So what have i learned? I have decided that my ideas are really nothing worth noting, at the moment most people don't care what i have to say, and why should they? I am nothing more then a young person that thinks he has seen the world and hasn't realized that world is too big to be found in the the frantic scribbles of a twenty-somethings journal. So I write to find what i should be doing... hoping that some great idea will come to me. although i already know how the ideas flow forth, it is for a muse.
      I am sitting on the cusp of getting hurt and finding something real. Would the risk be worth the reward? or would this be nothing more then the same decisions be made because i hadnt learned from the ones past.

    • So i remembered this site

      10 years ago

      chopstickgod

      I was traversing the wonders of the internet this morning because my friend decided to wake me at 8:30 in the morning... and i came across some old RvB video clips. so i quickly was brought back to the memories of this site and came back. i am kinda taken aback that i still had people on my friends list and they werent all dead accounts although alot of them were =P but i am glad to see that this place is doing well and there are still a good group of yall that are holding it down here. its funny, the drive to come back to see what has changed and what remains. like that picture of me is from 2+ years ago... i might have to put up and updated picture. anywho i think i might come back to the site and start posting again i have some really good arsenal... plus alot of updates for anyone that is still kicking around

    • Out of all the things said

      12 years ago

      chopstickgod

      out of all the books written and all the things said, its hard to believe that one little note written on the box with a shirt in it has affected me so much. Im sure my aunt didnt think it was all that important, but the note was probably the best thing i recieved this christmas.

      "Mike,
      Orange so you think of your roots, Cleveland. You have lots of living before you figure out where you will put down your roots, but I'm so happy you are here, now. It's been great to really get to know you and for our kids to get to know their cousin Mike. they light up Every Time they see you!
      Merry Christmas kiddo"


      I thought that me being here at home with my family was something that was caused because of my ignorance and bad judgement. I see now that I needed to be here, with my family.

      no matter what happens just have faith, you will end up where you need to be, and someone somewhere loves you more then you know and them seeing or hearing from you really means something to them. most of you that read this I know by name and if i dont know you, this is something you still need to hear.
      You are appreciated
      You are loved

    • Hit you with some knowlegde

      12 years ago

      chopstickgod

      There are some places where the road doesnt go in a circle
      The are some places where the road keep going
      You will find some Some Hills along those roads but no worries you will find they only test your Strength
      You will find some valleys along the way too, to help your Spirit
      Look inward for happiness and guidance
      Follow your heart

    • I wish i could Rain

      12 years ago

      chopstickgod

      I really wish i could rain

      just to rinse all of the scars and scrapes from the surface
      to renew myself cause things to bloom again make things better

      I wish i could rain it would make this stuff awhole lot easier

    • Here is to you

      12 years ago

      chopstickgod

      Here is the Christmas present that i got myself, A changed outlook on life. I thought after lilly decided that it was time to move on it was going way down hill,but she needed to do as she desired. So i went back to work, and worked my ass off, and tried not to think about the future and how things could have been.
      I got myself a raise because of the amount of work i did and they gave me more hours as well. So I am looking to get my own place in a few months, probably after the winter. I just need to figure out some way to have some fun when im not working.
      I'm back to playing WoW but its no fun anymore i cant force myself to level another character.


      I going to try to start fresh, I think im going to move to London, partly because of the current state of the political field, partly because i like it there.


      I can think of anything better to do so thats it.
      I think im growing up no matter how hard i try not to. its really scary seeing change and accepting it instead of fearing it
      So here is to happy holidays to everyone and a happy new year
      i dont know if ill write another journal before so i figured id say it now

    • Here is to the future!!!

      12 years ago

      chopstickgod

      So I cant sleep.

      I feel like I have caused nothing but hardships to people that cared about me. I have let everyone down. I want to change the world but i have no clue where to start. I want to fix things for other people because i feel like i fucked things up really bad for myself. I have always done it and probably always will.So here is the future and to the people i hurt and stepped on I am truely, sorry.
      Ant and Scott, I wish I could fix things between us but i know i did some shady things and i tried to cover it up and blame you for what had happened, when it wasnt your fault. I was a terrible friend during those trying times and i asked way to much from both of you.

      Lilly, I'm sorry for everything, you were wonderful to me and then when you wanted me with you out there. Everything fell apart. I'm sorry i got short tempered with you, made you cry. I hope you find someone who treats you better out there. but i do miss you, and you have a special place in my heart.


      To any of my Californian friends that might read this, I'm sorry i have been unreachable and i haven't kept in close contact with all of you. I miss you all alot.

      Talley & Erika, I'm Sorry For any and all drama I caused between you or any caused in the SR crowd that was my fault. I'll try to call more too

      To Justin, I know I didnt call you back like i said i would and i didnt come to your wedding in Ohio. I kinda put that time in my life in the past because it was nothing but pain and trouble. I'm sorry you got put into the same section as that but I try to make it out there soon.

      To Any other Girl that I lied to, manupliated or mistreated in the past, I know there are a few, i am truely sorry and i know most of you hate me, dispise me and think I am a terrible person just know that some of the things i said to you were true and that you really are beautiful and you will find what you were looking for.

      So now I'm going to change (or try to atleast) for the better. I'm going to find my way and I'm going to find where I belong. I know i was meant to do more.

      So it turned into an long appology...
      Most of these people you dont know and most of them dont apply to anyone on here so you dont really need to worry if im talking about you
      (except Juice Box, I'm sorry I mistreated you, Mister Lady) =P

    • WAKE UP AMERICA

      12 years ago

      chopstickgod

      So here Come the republicans who say that same sex marriage is immoral, and premarital sex is immoral, but then turn around and molest boys at work. Is anyone else confused by this? i guess its rough for this foley guy who has been evil by his own believes.
      Have you ever noticed how the republicans really only protect themselves and try leave the rest of the country behind? never "lets try to help other people out", never "why dont we try to end the violence". If it benefits the rich then they are all for it. Wars, taxes everything done by the republicans are done out of selfishness and greed.I'm not saying that democrats arent greedy too. some are, and Im not saying all republicans are selfcentered. im just shooting the middle ground.
      There is so much greed in this country it really disturbs me. people getting shot over a video game, living and dying over who beat who in madden. Just the other day a fifteen year old was shot and killed at his friends birthday party. WAKE UP AMERICA! What is wrong with this country? why does everyone resort to killing the other person? why are the US christians a violent group comparitively to other religions in the US? a group that is supposed to turn the other cheek, supposed to forgive and love, why are they out there promoting wars? why are they killing people over issues that are miniscule?

      The corruption is way to much.

      The violence needs to stop.

  • Comments (89)

    • Killer117

      10 years ago

      lol seriously...I don't even know why I came back on here :P

    • Killer117

      10 years ago

      lol wow

    • Tw1st3d_1 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Needs Coffee

      10 years ago

      Thing are going alright. Still playing paintball. Cutting back a bit though, since I'm between jobs at the moment.

    • Tw1st3d_1 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Needs Coffee

      10 years ago

      Hope things are going well for you.

    • Tw1st3d_1 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Needs Coffee

      10 years ago

      That sounds like some life changing stuff.

    • Tw1st3d_1 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Needs Coffee

      10 years ago

      Yeah, I'm still around. Been doing pretty good. Yourself?

    • SamAreEye

      11 years ago

      Hey man. Where the fudge monkeys of demon circle are all my friends?!

    • Ninja_Church

      12 years ago

      I love me to Mikey.

    • fatbyslim269

      12 years ago

      When you get online if ever You don't win.

    • Killer117

      12 years ago

      Yeah, I haven't been online in a while...so I didn't get your message until now. So when would be a good time to call you? : ]

    • Brittewater FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      12 years ago

      Merry Christmas to you too...I'm way late but I haven't been checking rvb as frequently lol.

    • Killer117

      12 years ago

      Merry Christmas to you too.

      Oh yeah, don't know if you play WoW anymore but I might actually start playing that. So yeah...need to call you, catch up and what not. Only if you want to.

      -Lilly<3

    • Tw1st3d_1 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Needs Coffee

      12 years ago

      Christmas was good.
      I got my new loader for my Timmy, so I was happy.

      How was yours?

    • Killer117

      12 years ago

      Told you so? ok...

    • SamAreEye

      12 years ago

      Ok, really. I just wanna be the only comments on your page. Cuz it looks damn smexy!

      smiley0.gif

    • SamAreEye

      12 years ago

      Mwuhahaha!

      Become a sponsor nukkah! And you could do this smiley11.gif Woot smiley11.gif Again smiley11.gif

      smiley0.gifsmiley1.gifsmiley4.gifsmiley6.gifsmiley8.gifsmiley9.gifsmiley11.gifsmiley12.gifsmiley10.gif

      Post edited 12/10/06 3:19PM

    • SamAreEye

      12 years ago

      I'm due for a physical.

      smiley8.gif

    • SamAreEye

      12 years ago

      How do you know an anal probe is gross?

      smiley4.gif

    • SamAreEye

      12 years ago

      Sounds like a damn good time!

      smiley0.gif

    • SamAreEye

      12 years ago

      Ah well. That sucks... Hmmm. Maybe I can figure something out. What are you going to be doing while you're over there?

    • SamAreEye

      12 years ago

      I can tell you right now there is no way in hell I would be able to make a trip up there in January. But perhaps if your stay was longer... How long are you going to be up there anyways?

      smiley0.gif

    • SamAreEye

      12 years ago

      Lol

      Now your a kitty? smiley6.gif WTF? O.o

      smiley0.gif

    • SamAreEye

      12 years ago

      Haha! Mikey! I was wondering what was going on! I thought something might have been wrong. I'm glad your okay man.

      smiley0.gif

    • SamAreEye

      12 years ago

      Chopstick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! smiley11.gifsmiley11.gifsmiley11.gifsmiley11.gifsmiley11.gifsmiley11.gifsmiley11.gifsmiley11.gifsmiley11.gifsmiley11.gifsmiley11.gifsmiley11.gifsmiley11.gifsmiley11.gifsmiley11.gifsmiley11.gifsmiley11.gifsmiley11.gifsmiley11.gifsmiley11.gifsmiley11.gif !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! smiley11.gif !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! smiley11.gifsmiley11.gifsmiley11.gif 1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! smiley11.gifsmiley11.gifsmiley11.gifsmiley11.gif [ smiley11] smiley11.gifsmiley11.gifsmiley11.gif

    • cabose_sucks

      12 years ago

      dude its been a long time where you been????

    • Ninja_Church

      12 years ago

      Dude...that's awesome. We'll have to play.

    • Elnea FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      12 years ago

      Holy cow. When did you become 21?

      I am getting old!!

      Happy Belated Birthday, kiddo!

    • monheadman

      12 years ago

      HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!

      And to celebrate check this out =)

    • Ninja_Church

      12 years ago

      Happy birthday bro....

      Don't make me pull out the audio file! smiley0.gif

    • bsilver

      12 years ago

      happy bday.

    • fatbyslim269

      12 years ago

      Happy Birhtday Motha Trucka!!!!!!!!!!! No but really happy Birthday.

    • Killer117

      12 years ago

      Of course you have a clan invite! duuur! :D it was inspired by Fight Club! so of course...it's an awesome clan! :]

      -Lilly smiley12.gif

    • Ninja_Church

      12 years ago

      And comment right back at ya.

    • Brittewater FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      12 years ago

      It's ok, I'm creatively challenged too

    • Ninja_Church

      12 years ago

      Mike! smiley0.gif

    • Johnbasedow

      13 years ago

      Yo mike whats up, ive been trying to call you, but it says you arent accepting calls.

    • Johnbasedow

      13 years ago

      Yo mike whats up, ive been trying to call you, but it says you arent accepting calls.

    • Dark_Vincent

      13 years ago

      Yeah... It wasn't a goodnight when we met lol. Lot of crap going down.You know?

    • Elnea FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      13 years ago

      I dedicated my journal to you and ACEKiller117 today.

      Enjoy (?)

    • SamAreEye

      13 years ago

      I've been here man. Not over there, over here!

      Down in tha F L A G ya know. Maybe not. Anyways, cut off from all of my online friends and with no phone I've been having to make due with the real world. You know. But hopefully soon I'll make my glorious comeback. I know. Your asking yourself how can you go on without your daily... er weekly dose of Funky right? Well, I'm sure you'll make it.

      BTW, congrats on the news man. Here's wishing the best of luck!

    • TOXICITY__X

      13 years ago

      lol
      it is cause hes super cool haha

    • fatbyslim269

      13 years ago

      I liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

    • halochick16

      13 years ago

      nothing really! i dropped out of school! but i have been playing softball more!

    • halochick16

      13 years ago

      hey i havent talked to you in forever! soo whats up?

    • SamAreEye

      13 years ago

      Yeah man. It's a good saying. I need some of that most of the time as well. But I'm working on it!

      smiley0.gif

    • Ninja_Church

      13 years ago

      We'll see about that. smiley8.gif

    • Ninja_Church

      13 years ago

      Juice Box misses all his XBL friends..... smiley2.gif

    • Killer117

      13 years ago

      I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! *kisses*

      -Lilly smiley12.gif

    • Brittewater FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      13 years ago

      Oh my goodness, I'm glad that the situation didn't end up as bad as it could have been. smiley12.gif

    • halochick16

      13 years ago

      ya but now that i do i am annoyed by people who dont!!! i mean i wanna know who the person i am talking to looks like!

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