cj81788

Male
from Lawrenceville, GA

  • Activity

    • Why We Fail Tests

      12 years ago

      cj81788

      A year has 365 days for you to study.

      After taking away 52 Sundays, there are only 313 days left.

      There are 50 days in the summer, during which time it is way too hot to study, so there are only 263 days left.

      We sleep (for some of us only) 8 hours a day meaning that, in a year, that counts up to 122 days, so now we’re left with 141 days.

      If we bummed around for only 1 hour a day (watching TV, having a shower, doing nothing), 15 days are gone, so we are left with 126 days.

      We spend at least 2 hours eating each day, 30 days are used in this way in the year, and we are left with 96 days in our year.

      We spend 1 hour a day speaking to friends and family, that takes away 15 days more and we are left with 81 days.

      Exams and tests take up at least 35 days throughout the semesters, hence you are only left with 46 days to study for your finals.

      Taking off approximately 40 days of holidays, you are only left with 6 days.

      Say you are sick for a minimum of 3 days (and that’s if you’re lucky), you’re left with 3 days in the year to study!

      Now let’s say you only go out for 2 days, you are left with 1 day left!

      But that 1 day is your birthday, so… Good luck to everyone on your exams!

      But if you do horribly, now you know why! Its simply not your fault


      ~This is so damn True...now i noe why i sux at skewl....

    • Sex - Sisters Of Mercy

      13 years ago

      cj81788

      This man was driving along a highway, and he saw a sign saying "Sisters of Mercy - House of Prostitution - 2 km". He is rather interested and is even more excited when he sees a sign, "Sisters of Mercy - House of Prostitution - 1 km". He decided that he'll visit this place, and when he sees the next sign "Sisters of Mercy - House of Prostitution - Turn Left". He turns left and parks in the parking lot, he goes in and sees a nun sitting behind a desk, he is rather excited by this, and he goes to the nun and says "Err I'm here to um... you know.."

      The nun smiles and nods "Follow me."

      He follows her and they proceed along hallways and through doors. Finally they stop in front of this door. The nun holds out a can and the man, getting the hint, puts $50 in there and goes into the door and closes behind him. When he looks around, he realises he's outside again, there is a sign saying "You've just been screwed by the Sisters of Mercy - please go in peace."

    • Bar - Penguin

      13 years ago

      cj81788

      a penguin walks into a bar and askes the barman
      "do you have any fish"
      the barman looks at him and answers
      " no its a bar we only serve chrips and beer
      the penguin walks out. the next day the penguin walks in
      "do you have any fish"
      the barman looks at him
      "i told you yesterday we only serve chrips and beer"
      the penguin walks out only to return the next day
      "do you have any fish"
      the barman now angry tells the fish
      "look i told you the other day no we dont serve fish we only serve beer and chrips an if you ask again i will nail your flippers to the floor"
      the penguin walks out again, next day the penguin returns
      "do u have any nails?"
      the barman looks at the penguin and replies
      "no"
      the penguin looks hopeful
      "ok then... do you have any fish???"

    • Sex - Purple Toy

      13 years ago

      cj81788

      A woman decided to aquire a new toy to pleasure herself with. When she got to the sex-store the clerk asked her if she needed any help to which she replied, "I want you biggest, best toy you have to please me." The clerk nodded, and led her into a back room, where he uncovered a small dank trunk. He opened it up and inside there was a purple dildo on a cushion. "Now, this may not look like much, but whatever you say, this thing will screw" said the clerk. The woman, much to her hesitation purchased it and went home.

      She opened up the bag and said "Ok, now lets see if this thing really works. Purple dick, screw my couch" and sure enough it hopped up and went to the couch and proceded to screw it. This pleased the woman and she finally said "purple dick, screw me"

      A few hours went by and when the woman FINALLY had enough she told the toy to stop, but it wouldnt. After numerous attempts she finally took the toy, and threw it across the room, only to see it hopping back to her. She quickly put on an overcoat and ran to her car and started speeding off only to see the dildo hopping after her in her rear-view mirror.

      After about 5 minutes of driving a police officer pulls her over and when he asks her why she's speeding. She replied "Officer! Officer! There's a purple dick chasing after me!"

      The officer laughed and said, "Purple dick my ass"

    • Blonde - The Shooting

      13 years ago

      cj81788

      A blonde, brunette and a redhead were tried and found guilty for murder. Their punishment was to be lined up and shot as a form of execution. The plan was to shoot the brunette first, followed by the redhead and then the blonde. With all the guns pointed at the burnette, the commander said, "Ready, aim..." but the burnette shouted, "Tornado!" and every one freaked and the burnette escaped. When it was the redhead's turn to be shot the commander again said, "Ready, aim..." and this time the Redhead said, "Hurricane!" Every one freaked out again and the redhead escaped. At last it was time for the blonde to die so the commander gave the command again, 'Ready, aim..." and the clever little blonde shouted, "fire!"

    • Blonde - Oh My Gosh!

      13 years ago

      cj81788

      Three mother's; a blonde, a redhead and a brunette are sitting down drinking coffee. The brunette says "I went into my daughters bedroom the other day and I found some alcohol, I can't believe she's drinking". The redhead says "I went into my daughters bedroom the other day and I found some fags, I can't believe she's smoking". Then the blonde says "I went into my daughters room the other day and I found a condom, I can't believe she has a penis".

    • Sex - The Miracle Of Toilet Paper!!

      13 years ago

      cj81788

      Fresh from my shower, I stood in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts were too small.

      Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically came up with a suggestion.

      "If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds."

      Willing to try anything, I fetched a piece of toilet paper and stood in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts.

      "How long will this take?" I asked.

      "They will grow larger over a period of years," my husband replies.

      I stopped.

      "Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?"

      Without missing a beat he says, "Worked for your ass, didn't it?"

    • Sex - The Way Your Thinking

      13 years ago

      cj81788

      Dirty Little Matt is sitting in the back of math class, obviously not paying any attention, when the teacher calls his name.
      "Yeah teach?" he replies.
      "If there are three ducks on a fence and you shoot one of them with a shotgun, how many are left?" asks the teacher.
      Matt answers "Well, teach, if I shoot one of them with a shotgun, the loud noise is gonna make them all fly off."
      "No, Matt, there will be two left if you shoot one with a shotgun, but I like the way you're thinking." the teacher responds.
      "Well, teach, I've got a question for you... There are 3 women that come out of an ice-cream parlor, one is biting her ice-cream cone, one is licking it, and one is sucking on it. Which one is married?"
      The teacher, a little taken back by the question answers, "Well, uh, gee Matt, I guess the one that's sucking on the ice cream."
      Matt replies "No teach, the one that has the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking!"

    • Sex - The Gates Of Heaven

      13 years ago

      cj81788

      This guy comes home to his 22nd floor apartment after work, and finds his wife standing there naked. Well, he then knows she was cheating on him so he goes running around the house looking for the man. He searches everywhere and eventually gives up, admitting he was wrong to assume such a thing.

      He goes out on the porch for a breath of fresh air and finds someone hanging from the balcony by his fingers. So the husband starts stomping on the guy's fingers. The guy falls and his fall is broken by some bushes. So the husband goes inside to look for something to throw down on him. He looks around and sees the fridge, so he throws it off the balcony.



      Well, at this time, Heaven was getting a little crowded, so God insitutes a new rule saying that anyone who is admitted has to have had a stressful day the day they died.

      One guy comes up to the gate of Heaven and St. Peter asks how his day went. So the husband tells of how he found out that his wife was cheating on him and he died of a heart attack. St. Peter agrees to let him in.

      A second guy comes up to the gates and St. Peter asks how his day went. So the guy says, "Well, I was excersizing on my balcony on the 23rd floor, and I fell, but luckily I grabbed onto the porch below mine. Then this guy comes out stomping on my fingers so I fall! And then to make it worse he throws a refigerator on me after the bushes broke my fall!" So St. Peter lets him in.

      By this time St. Peter is thinking, "I could get used to this new rule."

      A third guy comes up to the gate and St. Peter sits back in his chair and says, "Ok, tell me your story." And the guy says, "Ok, picture this...I'm naked, right? And I'm in a refrigerator..."

    • hey check out my nerd rating

      13 years ago

      cj81788

      Overall, you scored as follows:

      10% scored higher (more nerdy), and

      90% scored lower (less nerdy).

      What does this mean? Your nerdiness is:

      Supreme Nerd. Apply for a professorship at MIT now!!!.

  • About Me

  • Comments (35)

    • Fishmaster1

      12 years ago

      I see you right now, For i am stalking you.... maybe... not really... not at all

    • eliassexton

      12 years ago

      magic rocks, how did you like ep. 93 of rvd? i want the damn screenshot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • tattersalad2

      12 years ago

      those things under your name are cool

    • RUSSHOLE

      13 years ago

      damn i gotta go bye an ipod

    • Master_Frog

      13 years ago

      you sghould not be on line in school

    • Crunchbite36

      13 years ago

      shoeblewupship.gif

    • falchion17

      13 years ago

      ATTENTION!!!
      IF YOU ARE IN MY CONTEST OR WANT TO BE, PLEASE VOTE FOR ME here(final round), AND here(still first round)!!!

    • falchion17

      13 years ago

      go here and vote for me!!!! i really want to win, this is the first contest i have ever been in and the stakes are high! thanks

    • cj81788

      13 years ago

      yeah i guess so

    • Mojo5468

      13 years ago

      your right about vegito but since gogeta and vegito are bascilly the same just a little different

    • cj81788

      13 years ago

      well i kinda borrowed it from another member on rvb

    • Crunchbite36

      13 years ago

      where did you get the elite movy aroundy thing?

    • SteelLep

      13 years ago

      Happy late St. Patrick's Day!!

    • xXxpl02iVe

      13 years ago

      Hey Christopher could you please vote for me again here: rvb.roosterteeth.com/members/journal/entry.php?id=852992
      This could be my chance to get sponsored :D

    • xXxpl02iVe

      13 years ago

      Thanks :D

    • juggernaut12

      13 years ago

      Join my fun little contest here

    • cj81788

      13 years ago

      oh i kinda borrowed them from other sites lol

    • nofxmn1

      13 years ago

      nice gifs man!!

    • Ornith

      13 years ago

      lol nice gifs

    • cj81788

      13 years ago

      um can you send another one, i kinda deleted the first one, my bad i didnt know who it was at the time

    • notarman89

      13 years ago

      dude u got my freind request on halo 2 live yet?

    • cj81788

      13 years ago

      oh ok cool

    • last_one

      13 years ago

      like i tell everybody else, google.

    • sqeaker

      13 years ago

      cool

    • cj81788

      13 years ago

      hey sqeaker i got in to the wookie tribe

    • sqeaker

      13 years ago

      no problem

    • cj81788

      13 years ago

      hey thanks for the info on the clan

    • sqeaker

      13 years ago

      hay i found a clan you might want to join http://rvb.roosterteeth.com/members/journal/entry.php?id=645815

    • cj81788

      13 years ago

      sure

    • sqeaker

      13 years ago

      dude some of my pics got deleted so go check them out

    • cj81788

      13 years ago

      hey you use a img tag in the edit profile deal about you section. it looks like this File does not exist.

    • Murf

      13 years ago

      hey, how do you put pics in you profile?

    • Murf

      13 years ago

      hey thanx for the comment, and yes you can have the pic!!!

    • ed102h

      13 years ago

      ADD ME DUDE

    • predator02

      13 years ago

      hey dude, waz-up :D
      want 2 be friends???

  • Questions

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