clarence034

Male
from Winchester, VA

  • Activity

    • PIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      12 years ago

      clarence034

      I probably shouldn't admit it, but I am fighting for the Pie Army.

      As if it wasn't already obvious and apparent.

      Your Pal,
      Clarence

    • I'm Not Dead

      12 years ago

      clarence034

      It's been quite some time since I stopped by here to hang out. I got a "you've been missed" message or two, and that was nice.

      I haven't really been spending much time on the internet lately, and what little time I have been (wasting) spending online has been spent on standard correspondence (like e-mail), school stuff, and (God Forgive Me) MySpace...because that's where all the people I know in real-life hang out on the interwebs, so I know what's up with what's going down with all my local peeps.

      I really enjoy hanging out here, but I don't have the time. That makes me more than a little sad...especially since one of the projects that's been eating up my time is setting up my own website.

      A few of you still hear from me because I added you to the Clarence MySpace before I disappeared. If anyone else wants a MySpace add, let me know.

      I hope you all are well.

      Your Pal,
      Clarence

    • Fudge Earth Day

      13 years ago

      clarence034

      Smelly hippies and ex-Vice-Presidents the world over have been warning us about the dire consequences of global warming. Al Gore recently claimed that the "debate about the causes of global warming has ended" and that there was a consensus of opinion in the scientific community regarding the causes and consequences.

      The former Vice-President is full of shit.

      Here, for your reading enjoyment, is the LEIPZIG DECLARATION, a document generated by climate experts who disagree with the assertion that global warning is #1) an imminent threat to all mankind and #2) that the causes of any alleged global warming cannot be conclusively identified. Included after the declaration is a list of signatories. Please note that these signatories identify themselves by their scientific specialty/discipline, unlike the individuals trotted out by groups like Greenpeace and the Sierra Club who, if they have any legitimate scientific pedigree at all, turn out to have degrees in wholly unrelated fields like anatomy and basket-weaving.

      THE LEIPZIG DECLARATION ON GLOBAL CLIMATE CHANGE

      As independent scientists concerned with atmospheric and climate problems, we -- along with many of our fellow citizens -� are apprehensive about emission targets and timetables adopted at the Climate Conference held in Kyoto, Japan, in December 1997. This gathering of politicians from some 160 signatory nations aims to impose on citizens of the industrialized nations, -- but not on others -- a system of global environmental regulations that include quotas and punitive taxes on energy fuels to force substantial cuts in energy use within 10 years, with further cuts to follow. Stabilizing atmospheric carbon dioxide -- the announced goal of the Climate Treaty -- would require that fuel use be cut by as much as 60 to 80 percent -- worldwide!

      Energy is essential for economic growth. In a world in which poverty is the greatest social pollutant, any restriction on energy use that inhibits economic growth should be viewed with caution. We understand the motivation to eliminate what are perceived to be the driving forces behind a potential climate change; but we believe the Kyoto Protocol -- to curtail carbon dioxide emissions from only part of the world community -- is dangerously simplistic, quite ineffective, and economically destructive to jobs and standards-of-living.

      More to the point, we consider the scientific basis of the 1992 Global Climate Treaty to be flawed and its goal to be unrealistic. The policies to implement the Treaty are, as of now, based solely on unproven scientific theories, imperfect computer models -- and the unsupported assumption that catastrophic global warming follows from an increase in greenhouse gases, requiring immediate action. We do not agree. We believe that the dire predictions of a future warming have not been validated by the historic climate record, which appears to be dominated by natural fluctuations, showing both warming and cooling. These predictions are based on nothing more than theoretical models and cannot be relied on to construct far-reaching policies.

      As the debate unfolds, it has become increasingly clear that �- contrary to the conventional wisdom -- there does not exist today a general scientific consensus about the importance of greenhouse warming from rising levels of carbon dioxide. In fact, most climate specialists now agree that actual observations from both weather satellites and balloon-borne radiosondes show no current warming whatsoever--in direct contradiction to computer model results.

      Historically, climate has always been a factor in human affairs -� with warmer periods, such as the medieval "climate optimum," playing an important role in economic expansion and in the welfare of nations that depend primarily on agriculture. Colder periods have caused crop failures, and led to famines, disease, and other documented human misery. We must, therefore, remain sensitive to any and all human activities that could affect future climate.

      However, based on all the evidence available to us, we cannot subscribe to the politically inspired world view that envisages climate catastrophes and calls for hasty actions. For this reason, we consider the drastic emission control policies deriving from the Kyoto conference -- lacking credible support from the underlying science -- to be ill-advised and premature.

      ********************************************************************************
      This statement is based on the International Symposium on the Greenhouse Controversy, held in Leipzig, Germany on Nov. 9-10, 1995, and in Bonn, Germany on Nov. 10-11, 1997. For further information, contact the Europaeische Akademie fuer Umweltfragen or The Science and Environmental Policy Project in Arlington, Virginia.<singer@sepp.org>

      Continued in First Post...

    • Oops, I did it again!

      13 years ago

      clarence034

      I went and got all busy and wrapped up in myself and forgot to pull a chair up to the ol' PC and hammer out some message to my compadres floating in the ether. I'll probably get around to checking/commenting on everyone's new stuff tomorrow when I get back from flying kites with CJ, so you can look forward to that.

      Things have been a little weird the past few weeks. Spring semester ended, I made the Dean's List, I finally moved out of my ex-girlfriend's house over a year (or has it been two?) after we broke up, I got a lousy summer job, and a few other things that I just don't feel like sharing (color me selfish).

      My lab professor didn't turn in any of the lab grades, so we were graded on nothing but the lecture portion of the class...which explains why I squeaked out a B for the course. That was one of the reasons making the Dean's List was a complete surprise. I thought that was for straight-A people, and I got two B's. I didn't even have to sleep with any professors.

      Now that I think about it seriously, there's at least one professor I'd sleep with regardless of the grade she gave me (for the class, not the sex...I damn well better get high marks for that).

      The moving was a bit of a pain in the ass, despite the fact that everything I owned was packed up in boxes. It wasn't so much the moving that got me as the unpacking shit and putting it away. I'm still not entirely done, and it's been two weeks. I have, to my credit, been too busy to get completely done. I started work the day after moving, and CJ was here for a weekend.

      Speaking of working, I am gainfully employed via a staffing agency at Trex. For those of you who don't know about Trex, they make fake wood. I shit you not: FAKE WOOD. They recycle old plastic shopping bags (among other things) to make decking/fencing materials. While the process itself is pretty interesting, it is absolutely, positively, mind-numbingly fucking dull. The first few days I was there, I sorted trash. Seriously, some trash is "bad" while other trash is "good." You wouldn't believe the stuff people find in these big bundles of old shopping bags and other plastic materials. I found two crisp-looking one dollar bills, my roommate found (before he quit) a Euro and a Hot Wheels car. I have since been moved to "The Saw," where the actually hot plastic product is squeezed out through molds, cut, and packaged. It's a like a giant plastic turd factory (you have no idea how apt that description is until you see it). I check the finished product, toss anything that doesn't meet specs, and bundle/wrap it for shipping.

      The best part is that the extreme heat and the constant standing/moving over the course of a twelve-hour shift has resulted in me losing over fifteen pounds (so far). Let's all cross our fingers and see if this will get me back down under 200 lbs. before the end of the summer.

      The CJ weekend was awesome. We went to see X3. What wasn't cool (in more ways than one) was that the new place doesn't have central heat and air, and the A/C units the landlord promised would be here the day after we moved in never showed up, so the 90 degree weekend was un-fucking-bearable. Saturday was great because we weren't home, but Sunday was a bitch. Fortunately, the downstairs was relatively cool, so CJ and I played superheroes and watched X-Men and Teen Titans videos in the living room. It was a pretty good day.

      The best part of the weekend was the fight at the end of X3 where Wolverine kicks some guy in the nads. CJ jumped on me and loudly whispered, "Daddy, he kicked that guy in the pee-pee!"

      I'm going to CJ's school to fly kites with him tomorrow. That should be fun.

      I just noticed that I'm rambling, so I think it best that I sign off.

      Your Pal,

      Clarence

    • Where Did I Go?

      13 years ago

      clarence034

      Man, I can't tell you how many times I've actually asked myself that question in real life. If I ever find a way to access the memories of what I do during the blackouts...

      Anyway, I've been busy getting caught up at the end of this semester, and have exams this week, so don't expect to see my sweet, sexy ass anytime soon.

      Because I'm also moving this week.

      I think.

      Regardless, I'm busy, so I'll see you when I see you.

      Your Pal,

      Clarence

    • Getting Everyone on the Same Page

      13 years ago

      clarence034

      You know, I was surfing the net and came to the conclusion that things are pretty fudged up.

      The other day, there was a group of Muslims protesting outside the Israeli Embassy in New York. This was news to me. I couldn't figure out why I hadn't seen this on the news. Then I read the rest of the article. Political Correctness is the reason I hadn't seen it on the news.

      For some strange reason, some people have taken it upon themselves to make it a major social faux pas to offend anyone, or, more correctly, anyone who isn't a church-going cracker. The media in this country doesn't want to show these repugnant thugs marching in New York because it reinforces the "stereotype" that Muslims are a bunch of hateful bastards who want to kill people and blow shit up. Why is that? If the church-going crackers were going to turn into slathering idiots and start maiming and killing anyone who looked remotely Arabic, I could understand, but the only violence perpetrated in such a fashion in this country that I know about happened immediately after 9/11, and was an isolated incident.

      This just slays me. These people are religious fanatics, but the very same people who have been screaming for years about the separation of church and state and the dangers of religious lunatics in our own country can't seem to work up the same fervent outrage for crazy foreigners who are actually worse than our own home-grown theocratic morons. If Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson would convert to Islam the media could comfortably join the rest of us in calling for all out war against fundamentalist loons.christiantaliban.jpe

      I know a big part of this backlash against killing people that want to kill us is also coming from the usual knot-heads that don't think we should ever go to war for any reason ever, and from the "hate Bush at any cost" people, but we really need to get the peaceniks and malcontents back in the game...on our side...and I think pointing out that these guys are basically Falwell and Robertson with funny accents would go a long way toward making that happen. We need to make them see that this isn't about Bush, remind them that he's not going to be in office forever, and get them to, if not support making these guys meet the standards the rest of world lives by, at least stop being a hindrance to those of us who are.

      I really worry about where we're headed when things like this are swept under the rug in the name of not hurting people's feelings. There are just too many parallels between our current national situation and the last days of the Roman Empire for me be to anything but worried.

      There's nothing worse than a smelly hippie.

      Your Pal,

      Clarence

    • Thanks for all the help!!

      13 years ago

      clarence034

      Thanks to everyone who helped out with the survey. Mods have been generously donated to all respondents.

      You guys rock!

      Your Pal,

      Clarence

    • Please Help The Clarence!!!!!

      13 years ago

      clarence034

      The Clarence has been a tad bit negligent with his scholastic responsibilities of late. I have a major project due....right about now. I need a few willing guinea pigs to take a little survey I've prepared for my Mass Media class. Please fill it out (just copy it and underline+bold your response) and leave it as a response to my journal. I would really appreciate it. I need to get at least 20 responses, so if you're online chatting with friends, ship them over here and get them to take it as well, 'cause that would be swell.

      Here it is. Be glad it's not about something perverse and/or goofy...or more perverse and goofy than usual:

      McDonald’s Survey

      1. What is your age range?

      1-18 19-30 31-40 41-50 51-60 61-70 70+

      2. What is your gender?

      Male Female

      3. Rate McDonald’s, as a dining establishment, on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “lowest quality†and 10 being “highest quality.â€Â

      1 2 3 4 5 6 7

      8 9 10

      2. How often do you eat at McDonald’s?

      1.Never 2.Once A Year 3.Once A Month 4.Once A Week

      5.Daily

      3. If you eat at McDonald’s, what best describes your primary reason for doing so?

      1.Speed 2.Convenience 3.Like the Food 4.Good Service

      5.Family/Children Request

      4. Do McDonald’s commercials influence you to visit their restaurants?

      Yes No

      5. Do you think that McDonald’s commercials influence others to visit their restaurants?

      Yes No No Opinion/Don’t Know

      6. Do you think McDonald’s commercials excessively target children?

      Yes No No Opinion Don’t Care

      7. Do you think it is appropriate to make children the target of such advertising?

      Yes No No Opinion Don’t Care

      8. Do you think McDonald’s commercials excessively target minorities?

      Yes No No Opinion Don’t Care

      9. Do you think it is appropriate to make minorities the target of such advertising?

      Yes No No Opinion Don’t Care



      Thank you very much for your assistance,

      Clarence

    • Gasoline

      13 years ago

      clarence034

      Take a look at this:

      GR2006042100040.gif

      This is a graphical representation of what you pay for gas from the Washington Post (Not Part Of The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy). You can find it here if you don't believe me.

      Look at what you're paying for. Almost 20% of that is tax, and I'll bet that doesn't take into account the embedded taxes (taxes levied against businesses that are passed on to consumers as part of the purchase price). If gas prices are so high that members of congress feel the need to call up Corporate Executives to testify before congress, wouldn't it stand to reason that they're high enough that the American People shouldn't be expected to pay that 20% in taxes?

      Why do I bring it up? It's not because I'm a lackey of the oil industry (but if they paid enough, I'd do it), but because just about every bit of this "oil crisis" is the direct fault of the actions of the US Government as directed by these same self-righteous Senators and Representatives who are pointing fingers and suggesting "price-gouging."

      Take a look at that gray block at the bottom, for example. That block's about to get bigger, because congress has mandated that gas be blended with ethanol, which will be replacing an additive currently being used that is called MTBE. Unfortunately, this change is going to cost us money for two reasons: 1) Because ethanol is more expensive, and 2) Because storage facilities will have to be modified so that they can store ethanol, which has different storage requirements, and the cost of these modifications will be rolled into the future price of gas at the pump.

      That's not to mention how congress is keeping prices high by reducing possible domestic production by forbidding exploration and/or drilling in areas like the ANWAR tundra, the Gulf of Mexico, the Land of Oz, etc., etc. Lack of production in an era when India and China are driving up the price with greater demand is just going to make things that much worse.

      My point is, elections are coming up. Find out what your reps are voting for and against. Give them a call and let them know that you know what they're up to, and that you know how they're screwing you. Then get out in November and replace them if they're morons.

      Your Pal,

      Clarence

    • Awesomeness

      13 years ago

      clarence034

      Dennis Leary + Halo = AWESOMENESS

      Do yourself a favor and watch it.

      --Clarence

  • About Me

  • Comments (151)

    • armeav8r

      12 years ago

      lemme know if you ever make it back.

    • figmentation

      12 years ago

      HI! smiley0.gif

    • Havoc1

      12 years ago

      And if you've ever seen me with a bowl of Fritos, you know my hands move faster than Jet Li's.


      LOL! Just keep your hands and feet away from his mouth and we'll all be fine!

    • HippieCarrot

      12 years ago

      Happy

      turkey8bw7.gifturkeydancingwx4.gifturkey2gu7.giftrkyb5wscpe0sh8.gifdancingturkey01dx1.gifdancingturkeyzf0.gif


      Day

    • RabidPossum

      12 years ago

      Glad to see you're well. I've also been quite awol from the site. Sometimes life gets in the way of my not having a life! smiley8.gif

    • Jessy

      12 years ago

      smiley12.gif
      At least I still see you at that other place smiley8.gif

    • figmentation

      12 years ago

      Thank You! Well your not forgotten! smiley0.gif

    • armeav8r

      12 years ago

      See! The Clarence DOES "see all, know all".

    • armeav8r

      12 years ago

      Come back dude!

    • Havoc1

      12 years ago

      Just checking in. Haven't seen you around these parts for a while. How you doin' bro?

    • Jessy

      13 years ago

      You rock.
      I've missed seeing you around here.

    • armeav8r

      13 years ago

      Your Award Status Has Changed. You've been awarded the:

      BBCajhones.jpg

      from armeav8r. Congratulations.

    • Jessy

      13 years ago

      Actually that lipstick is nothing more than lipgloss and loose glitter smiley0.gif
      But yes, it was drag queen inspired.

    • TuckerRocks1

      13 years ago

      yah a racoon, and a few squirls and chipmunks

    • Jessy

      13 years ago

      Where ya been?
      Your e-girlfriend is feeling neglected
      *sniff*

    • duncan_stive

      13 years ago

      The fact that you signed up for a republican group just to piss off smelly hippies is freaking hystarical... /random

    • Jessy

      13 years ago

      Its mine and its there because when I'm drunk I think I'm hella sexy.

    • Jessy

      13 years ago

      Where did your sweet, sexy ass go??
      Hows moving?

    • figmentation

      13 years ago

      YEAH.. But he was the one that raised all the taxes and the MVA fees and fines and tolls in the state of Maryland. SO he sucks!

    • TuckerRocks1

      13 years ago

      cool thx

    • figmentation

      13 years ago

      Maryland is run by a Republican.. And he sucks

    • figmentation

      13 years ago

      rofl.. TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION no! Sorry I have been busy at work for the past week.. haven’t been around much.

    • Jessy

      13 years ago

      that would be sweet.
      smiley0.gif

    • Jessy

      13 years ago

      You get Happy Meals too?
      *swoon*
      I knew there was a reason I liked you.
      smiley12.gif

    • magiczlinken

      13 years ago

      I know the feeling, I have a 15 page report due Wed.

    • magiczlinken

      13 years ago

      Thanks for the mods.

    • Jessy

      13 years ago

      Hopefully enough alcohol for everyone to drop shortly after that...

      Drop what?
      Pants?

    • Jessy

      13 years ago

      lol, try posting it on usendit ;)

      do what that chick down there suggested.
      She seems smart
      smiley0.gif

      Post edited 4/23/06 10:31PM

    • Jessy

      13 years ago

      Then you should post it on usendit :)
      BTW

      27) My last relationship was ruined because:
      (B) he/she couldn't put up with my habit of putting my body parts into pencil sharpeners and screaming, "Yes, Captain, I am the Walrus!"


      That was the most perfect answer ever
      smiley12.gif
      I like flowers and adult swim rocks.
      smiley0.gif

    • Jessy

      13 years ago

      I just got one from you not to long ago, but alas, no attachment smiley2.gif

    • Balsa

      13 years ago

      i am glad you shared your boredom, clarence

      we are all bored on the inside

      lol

    • Havoc1

      13 years ago

      Bwahahaa! BF2 is Battlefield 2.

      But, back to the military reference, I've seen the Blue Falcon rear his ugly head a few times... smiley8.gif

      Post edited 4/17/06 3:39AM

    • Jessy

      13 years ago

      Laughing?
      In a bad way or a goofy, lets have fun during sex sort of way?

    • armeav8r

      13 years ago

      and anchoring the evening news on a major network.


      I always knew they were fucking zombies. Explains a lot. Especially Katie Couric.

    • Jessy

      13 years ago

      easter0001.jpg

    • figmentation

      13 years ago

      Happy Easter... smiley0.gif

    • figmentation

      13 years ago

      HI! smiley0.gif

    • Auriellis

      13 years ago

      Settlers of Catan is a game for us hardcore gamers. LOL. It's basically a strategy game where you try to outwit your oppnonets and win points. It's hard to explain. Check the online tutorial under the link I posted in my journal.

    • Balsa

      13 years ago

      yes, that is a man (image coments>deathnote)
      its for a live action movie adaptation fo a popular manga series
      www.animenewsnetwork.com/encyclopedia/manga.php?id=4354

    • Jessy

      13 years ago

      180.gif

    • Jessy

      13 years ago

      A guy came into my work today who looked alot like you, even had a son with him around CJ's age.
      I figured that since he wasn't in camo and looking at me through binoculars it couldn't be you ;)

    • Jessy

      13 years ago

      OMG *blushes*
      fixed!!

    • Jessy

      13 years ago

      UPDATES!!!!
      plzthnx!
      smiley12.gif

    • Jessy

      13 years ago

      Mmmmmmmmm...kinda Carrie-Anne-Moss-In-The-Matrix-ish.

      You know whats funny?
      Thats exactly what I thought when I bought it ;)

    • armeav8r

      13 years ago

      Dothan!!!! OMG!!!! They're moving you to a state where it's illegal to own a marital aid (aka Vibrator).

      Yes, I believe that they tried to ban those here but I don't think it went through. It only proves that absolute fucking morons are everywhere and are usually found in government.

    • Jessy

      13 years ago

      you must clicky here
      What scares me is that there is someone somewhere who is saying.
      "OH MY GOD, GRANDMA?!"

    • Jessy

      13 years ago

      Acually yes they did have boobie ice cube trays there ;)

    • Jessy

      13 years ago

      Clarence!
      updates
      plzthx

    • Jessy

      13 years ago

      emovday44.jpg
      Happy Valentine's Day!!!

    • Rental01

      13 years ago

      We just want anything we can get to help out.

  • Questions

    No questions have been answered yet