6 years ago
TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS,
HE LIVED ALL ALONE,
IN A ONE BEDROOM HOUSE MADE OF
PLASTER AND STONE
I HAD COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY
WITH PRESENTS TO GIVE,
AND TO SEE JUST WHO
IN THIS HOME DID LIVE.
I LOOKED ALL ABOUT,
A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE,
NO TINSEL, NO PRESENTS,
NOT EVEN A TREE.
NO STOCKING BY MANTLE,
JUST BOOTS FILLED WITH SAND,
ON THE WALL HUNG PICTURES
OF FAR DISTANT LANDS.
WITH MEDALS AND BADGES,
AWARDS OF ALL KINDS,
A SOBER THOUGHT
CAME THROUGH MY MIND.
FOR THIS HOUSE WAS DIFFERENT,
IT WAS DARK AND DREARY,
I FOUND THE HOME OF A SOLDIER,
ONCE I COULD SEE CLEARLY.
THE SOLDIER LAY SLEEPING,
CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR
IN THIS ONE BEDROOM HOME.
THE FACE WAS SO GENTLE,
THE ROOM IN SUCH DISORDER,
NOT HOW I PICTURED
A UNITED STATES SOLDIER.
WAS THIS THE HERO
OF WHOM I'D JUST READ?
CURLED UP ON A PONCHO,
THE FLOOR FOR A BED?
I REALIZED THE FAMILIES
THAT I SAW THIS NIGHT,
OWED THEIR LIVES TO THESE SOLDIERS
WHO WERE WILLING TO FIGHT.
SOON ROUND THE WORLD,
THE CHILDREN WOULD PLAY,
AND GROWNUPS WOULD CELEBRATE
A BRIGHT CHRISTMAS DAY.
THEY ALL ENJOYED FREEDOM
EACH MONTH OF THE YEAR,
BECAUSE OF THE SOLDIERS,
LIKE THE ONE LYING HERE.
I COULDN'T HELP WONDER
HOW MANY LAY ALONE,
ON A COLD CHRISTMAS EVE
IN A LAND FAR FROM HOME.
THE VERY THOUGHT
BROUGHT A TEAR TO MY EYE,
I DROPPED TO MY KNEES
AND STARTED TO CRY.
THE SOLDIER AWAKENED
AND I HEARD A ROUGH VOICE,
'SANTA DON'T CRY,
THIS LIFE IS MY CHOICE;
I FIGHT FOR FREEDOM,
I DON'T ASK FOR MORE,
MY LIFE IS MY GOD,
MY! COUNTRY, MY CORPS.
THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER
AND DRIFTED TO SLEEP,
I COULDN'T CONTROL IT,
I CONTINUED TO WEEP.
I KEPT WATCH FOR HOURS,
SO SILENT AND STILL
AND WE BOTH SHIVERED
FROM THE COLD NIGHT'S CHILL.
I DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE
ON THAT COLD, DARK, NIGHT,
THIS GUARDIAN OF HONOR
SO WILLING TO FIGHT.
THEN THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER,
WITH A VOICE SOFT AND PURE,
WHISPERED, 'CARRY ON SANTA,
IT'S CHRISTMAS DAY, ALL IS SECURE.
ONE LOOK AT MY WATCH,
AND I KNEW HE WAS RIGHT.
'MERRY CHRISTMAS MY FRIEND,!
AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT.
7 years ago
oh you are not gonna believe this last night i dont know what it is with people and suprisingly one of my friends well not a friend anymore after last night pulled a gun on me as a joke but natural reaction i went for the gun and twisted it around and put the barrel in to his face then he fuckin says its loaded so he pointed a loaded gun in to my face as a joke .. i was not fuckin laughin
i told him if you ever fucking do that again as god as my fucking witness i will beat you with your own fire arm
7 years ago
To Our Sheepdogs
ItÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s so easy to forget them there,
As we warm beside the fire,
Those spread so far out everywhere,
Those sent to man the wire.
Patrolling on the front line,
As peacefully here we bask,
Protecting what is yours and mine,
ThatÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s their hard, dreary task.
Like sheep we are protected,
From the far off wolves of war,
And our Sheepdogs as expected,
Never waver from their chore.
In peace we sheep ignore their kind,
Wary of their violent trends;
But when the wolves attack we find,
These Sheepdogs are our friends.
Forever this has been the way,
Since time for us began,
Sheep fearing that the Sheepdogs may
Disrupt our placid plan.
Yet time again Dogs surely prove,
When comes a wolfine danger,
The Sheepdogs will most swiftly move
To guard the lambs, the manger.
So hereÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s to Sheepdogs everywhere
At this Christmas time of year;
Just know the flock is with you there,
And we wish you Christmas cheer.
We wish we could advance the clock,
Cause truth is, Dogs, we miss you,
To the day that youÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ll rejoin the flock,
When weÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ll sheepishly then kiss you.
7 years ago
81. May not bring a drag queen to the battalion formal dance.
82. May not form any press gangs.
83. Must not start any SITREP (Situation Report) with Ã¢â‚¬Å“I recently had an experience I just had to write you aboutÃ¢â‚¬Â¦.Ã¢â‚¬Â
84. Must not use military vehicles to Ã¢â‚¬Å“SquishÃ¢â‚¬Â things.
85. Not allowed to make any Psychological Warfare products depicting the infamous Ft. Bragg sniper incident.
86. May not challenge anyone in my chain of command to the Ã¢â‚¬Å“field of honorÃ¢â‚¬Â.
87. If the thought of something makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it.
88. Must not refer to 1st Sgt as Ã¢â‚¬Å“MomÃ¢â‚¬Â.
89. Must not refer to the Commander as Ã¢â‚¬Å“DadÃ¢â‚¬Â.
90. Inflatable sheep do *not* need to be displayed during a room inspection.
91. I am not authorized to initiate Jihad.
92. When asked to give a few words at a military ceremony Ã¢â‚¬Å“Romper Bomper Stomper BooÃ¢â‚¬Â is probably not appropriate.
93. Nerve gas is not funny.
94. Crucifixes do not ward off officers, and I should not test that.
95. I am not in need of a more suitable host body.
96. Ã¢â‚¬Å“Redneck ZombiesÃ¢â‚¬Â is not a military training aid.
97. Gozer does not dwell in my refrigerator.
98. The proper response to a chemical weapon attack is not Ã¢â‚¬Å“Tell my chain of command what I really think about them, and then poke holes in their masks.Ã¢â‚¬Â
99. A smiley face is not used to mark a minefield.
100. Claymore mines are not filled with yummy candy, and it is wrong to tell new soldiers that they are.
101. I am not allowed to mount a bayonet on a crew-served weapon.
102. Rodents are not entitled to burial with full military honors, even if they are Ã¢â‚¬Å“casualties of warÃ¢â‚¬Â.
103. My commander is not old enough to have fought in the civil war, and I should stop implying that he did.
104. Vodka, green food coloring, and a Ã¢â‚¬Å“Cool MintÃ¢â‚¬Â ListerineÃ‚Â® bottle is not a good combination.
105. I am not allowed to bum cigarettes off of anyone under twelve.
106. I may not trade my rifle for any of the following: Cigarettes, booze, sexual favors, Kalishnikovs, Soviet Armored vehicles, small children, or bootleg CDÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s.
107. Must not mock command decisions in front of the press.
108. Should not taunt members of the press, even if they are really fat, exceptionally stupid, and working for UPI.
109. I am not authorized to change national policy in Eastern Europe.
110. Never, ever, attempt to correct a Green Beret officer about anything.
111. I am not qualified to operate any US, German, Polish, or Russian Armored vehicles.
112. When saluting a Ã¢â‚¬Å“legÃ¢â‚¬Â officer, an appropriate greeting is not Ã¢â‚¬Å“Airborne leads the wa- ohÃ¢â‚¬Â¦sorry sirÃ¢â‚¬Â.
113. There is absolutely no need to emulate the people from Ã¢â‚¬Å“Full MontyÃ¢â‚¬Â every time I hear the song Ã¢â‚¬Å“Hot StuffÃ¢â‚¬Â.
114. I cannot trade my CO to the Russians.
115. I should not speculate on the penis size of anyone who outranks me.
116. Crucifying mice - bad idea.
117. Must not use government equipment to bootleg pornography.
118. Burn pits for classified material are not revel fires - therefore it is wrong to dance naked around them.
119. I cannot arrest children for being rude.
120. An EO briefing is probably not the best place to unveil my newest off color joke.
121. I should not use government resources to Ã¢â‚¬Å“waterproofÃ¢â‚¬Â dirty magazines.
122. Radioactive material should not be stored in the barracks.
123. I should not teach other soldiers to say offensive and crude things in Albanian, under the guise of teaching them how to say potentially useful phrases.
124. Two drink limit does not mean first and last.
125. Two drink limit does not mean two kinds of drinks.
126. Two drink limit does not mean the drinks can be as large as I like.
127. Ã¢â‚¬Å“No Drinking Of Alcoholic BeveragesÃ¢â‚¬Â does not imply that a Jack DanielÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s Ã‚Â® IV is acceptable.
128. Ã¢â‚¬Å“ShpadoinkleÃ¢â‚¬Â is not a real word.
129. The Microsoft Ã‚Â® Ã¢â‚¬Å“Dancing PaperclipÃ¢â‚¬Â is not authorized to countermand any orders.
130. Ã¢â‚¬Å“IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢m drunkÃ¢â‚¬Â is a bad answer to any question posed by my commander.
131. No dancing in the turret. This especially applies in conjunction with rule #113.
132. The loudspeaker system is not a forum to voice my ideas.
133. The loudspeaker system is not to be used to replace the radio.
134. The loudspeaker system is not to be used to broadcast the soundtrack to a porno movie.
135. An order to put polish on my boots means the whole boot.
136. Shouting Ã¢â‚¬Å“LetÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s do the village! LetÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s do the whole fucking village!Ã¢â‚¬Â while out on a mission is bad.
137. Should not show up at the front gate wearing part of a Russian uniform, messily drunk.
138. Even if my commander did it.
139. Must not teach interpreters how to make Ã¢â‚¬Å“MREÃ¢â‚¬Â bombs.
140. I am not authorized to sell mineral rights.
141. Not allowed to use a broadsword to disprove Ã¢â‚¬Å“The Pen is Mightier than the swordÃ¢â‚¬Â.
142. Ã¢â‚¬Å“Calvin-BallÃ¢â‚¬Â is not authorized PT.
143. I do not need to keep a Ã¢â‚¬Å“range cardÃ¢â‚¬Â by my window.
144. Ã¢â‚¬Å“K-Pot, LBE, and a thin coat of Break-freeÃ¢â‚¬Â is not an authorized uniform.
145. I should not drink three quarts of blue food coloring before a urine test.
146. Nor should I drink three quarts of red food coloring, and scream during the same.
147. I should not threaten suicide with pop rocks and Coke Ã‚Â®.
148. Putting red Ã¢â‚¬Å“Mike and IkeÃ¢â‚¬â„¢sÃ¢â‚¬Â Ã‚Â® into a prescription medicine bottle, and then eating them all in a formation is not funny.
149. Must not create new DOD forms, then insist they be filled out.
150. On Sports Day PT, a wedgie is not considered a legal tackle.
151. The proper way to report to my Commander is Ã¢â‚¬Å“Specialist Schwarz, reporting as ordered, SirÃ¢â‚¬Â not Ã¢â‚¬Å“You canÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t prove a thing!Ã¢â‚¬Â
152. The following items do not exist: Keys to the Drop Zone, A box of grid squares, blinker fluid, winter air for tires, canopy lights, or Chem-Light Ã‚Â® batteries.
153. I should not assign new privates to Ã¢â‚¬Å“guard the flight lineÃ¢â‚¬Â.
154. ShouldnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t treat Ã¢â‚¬Å“piss-bottlesÃ¢â‚¬Â with extra-strength icy hot.
155. Teaching Albanian children to taunt other soldiers is not nice.
156. I will no longer perform Ã¢â‚¬Å“lap-dancesÃ¢â‚¬Â while in uniform.
157. If I take the uniform off,
7 years ago
The 213 ThingsÃ¢â‚¬Â¦.
1. Not allowed to watch Southpark when IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢m supposed to be working.
2. My proper military title is Ã¢â‚¬Å“Specialist SchwarzÃ¢â‚¬Â not Ã¢â‚¬Å“Princess AnastasiaÃ¢â‚¬Â.
3. Not allowed to threaten anyone with black magic.
4. Not allowed to challenge anyoneÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s disbelief of black magic by asking for hair.
5. Not allowed to get silicone breast implants.
6. Not allowed to play Ã¢â‚¬Å“Pulp FictionÃ¢â‚¬Â with a suction-cup dart pistol and any officer.
7. Not allowed to add Ã¢â‚¬Å“In accordance with the prophesyÃ¢â‚¬Â to the end of answers I give to a question an officer asks me.
8. Not allowed to add pictures of officers I donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t like to War Criminal posters.
9. Not allowed to title any product Ã¢â‚¬Å“Get Over itÃ¢â‚¬Â.
10. Not allowed to purchase anyoneÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s soul on government time.
11. Not allowed to join the Communist Party.
12. Not allowed to join any militia.
13. Not allowed to form any militia.
14. Not allowed out of my office when the president visited Sarajevo.
15. Not allowed to train adopted stray dogs to Ã¢â‚¬Å“Sic Brass!Ã¢â‚¬Â
16. Must get a haircut even if it tampers with my Ã¢â‚¬Å“Samson like powersÃ¢â‚¬Â.
17. God may not contradict any of my orders.
18. May no longer perform my now (in)famous Ã¢â‚¬Å“Barbie Girl DanceÃ¢â‚¬Â while on duty.
19. May not call any officers immoral, untrustworthy, lying, slime, even if IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢m right.
20. Must not taunt the French any more.
21. Must attempt to not antagonize SAS.
22. Must never call an SAS a Ã¢â‚¬Å“WankerÃ¢â‚¬Â.
23. Must never ask anyone who outranks me if theyÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ve been smoking crack.
24. Must not tell any officer that I am smarter than they are, especially if itÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s true.
25. Never confuse a Dutch soldier for a French one.
26. Never tell a German soldier that Ã¢â‚¬Å“We kicked your ass in World War 2!Ã¢â‚¬Â
27. DonÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t tell Princess Di jokes in front of the paras (British Airborne).
28. DonÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t take the batteries out of the other soldiers alarm clocks (Even if they do hit snooze about forty times).
29. The Irish MPs are not after Ã¢â‚¬Å“Me frosted lucky charmsÃ¢â‚¬Â.
30. Not allowed to wake an Non-Commissioned Officer by repeatedly banging on the head with a bag of trash.
31. Not allowed to let sock puppets take responsibility for any of my actions.
32. Not allowed to let sock puppets take command of my post.
33. Not allowed to chew gum at formation, unless I brought enough for everybody.
34. (Next day) Not allowed to chew gum at formation even if I *did* bring enough for everybody.
35. Not allowed to sing Ã¢â‚¬Å“High Speed DirtÃ¢â‚¬Â by Megadeth during airborne operations. (Ã¢â‚¬Å“See the earth below/Soon to make a crater/Blue sky, black death, IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢m off to meet my makerÃ¢â‚¬Â)
36. CanÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t have flashbacks to wars I was not in. (The Spanish-American War isnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t over).
37. Our medic is called Ã¢â‚¬Å“Sgt LarwasaÃ¢â‚¬Â, not Ã¢â‚¬Å“Dr. FeelgoodÃ¢â‚¬Â.
38. Our supply Sgt is Ã¢â‚¬Å“Sgt WatkinsÃ¢â‚¬Â not Ã¢â‚¬Å“Sugar DaddyÃ¢â‚¬Â.
39. Not allowed to ask for the day off due to religious purposes, on the basis that the world is going to end, more than once.
40. I do not have super-powers.
41. Ã¢â‚¬Å“Keep on TruckingÃ¢â‚¬Â is *not* a psychological warfare message.
42. Not allowed to attempt to appeal to mankindÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s baser instincts in recruitment posters.
43. Camouflage body paint is not a uniform.
44. I am not the atheist chaplain.
45. I am not allowed to Ã¢â‚¬Å“Go to Bragg boulevard and shake daddyÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s little money maker for twenties stuffed into my undiesÃ¢â‚¬Â.
46. I am not authorized to fire officers.
47. I am not a citizen of Texas, and those other, forty-nine, lesser states.
48. I may not use public masturbation as a tool to demonstrate a flaw in a command decision.
49. Not allowed to trade military equipment for Ã¢â‚¬Å“magic beansÃ¢â‚¬Â.
50. Not allowed to sell magic beans during duty hours.
51. Not allowed to quote Ã¢â‚¬Å“Dr SeussÃ¢â‚¬Â on military operations.
52. Not allowed to yell Ã¢â‚¬Å“Take that CobraÃ¢â‚¬Â at the rifle range.
53. Not allowed to quote Ã¢â‚¬Å“Full Metal Jacket Ã¢â‚¬Å“ at the rifle range.
54. Ã¢â‚¬Å“Napalm sticks to kidsÃ¢â‚¬Â is *not* a motivational phrase.
55. An order to Ã¢â‚¬Å“Put Kiwi on my bootsÃ¢â‚¬Â does *not* involve fruit.
56. An order to Ã¢â‚¬Å“Make my Boots black and shinyÃ¢â‚¬Â does not involve electrical tape.
57. The proper response to a lawful order is not Ã¢â‚¬Å“Why?Ã¢â‚¬Â
58. The following words and phrases may not be used in a cadence- Budding sexuality, necrophilia, I hate everyone in this formation and wish they were dead, sexual lubrication, black earth mother, all Marines are latent homosexuals, Tantric yoga, Gotterdammerung, Korean hooker, Eskimo Nell, weÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ve all got jackboots now, slut puppy, or any references to squid.
59. May not make posters depicting the leadership failings of my chain of command.
60. Ã¢â‚¬Å“The Giant Space AntsÃ¢â‚¬Â are not at the top of my chain of command.
61. If one soldier has a 2nd Lt bar on his uniform, and I have an E-4 on mine It means he outranks me. It does not mean Ã¢â‚¬Å“I have been promoted three more times than youÃ¢â‚¬Â.
62. It is better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission, no longer applies to Specialist Schwarz.
63. Command decisions do *not* need to be ratified by a 2/3 majority.
64. Inflatable novelties do *not* entitle me to BAQ or Separation pay.
65. There are no evil clowns living under my bed.
66. There is no Ã¢â‚¬Å“Anti-MimeÃ¢â‚¬Â campaign in Bosnia.
67. I am not the Psychological Warfare Mascot.
68. I may not line my helmet with tin foil to Ã¢â‚¬Å“Block out the space mind control lasersÃ¢â‚¬Â.
69. May not pretend to be a fascist stormtrooper, while on duty.
70. I am not authorized to prescribe any form of medication.
71. I must not flaunt my deviances in front of my chain of command.
72. May not wear gimp mask while on duty.
73. No military functions are to be performed Ã¢â‚¬Å“SkycladÃ¢â‚¬Â.
74. Woad is not camouflage makeup.
75. May not conduct psychological experiments on my chain of command.
76. Ã¢â‚¬Å“Teddy Bear, Teddy bear, turn aroundÃ¢â‚¬Â is *not* a cadence.
77. The MP checkpoint is not an Imperial Stormtrooper roadblock, so I should not tell them Ã¢â‚¬Å“You donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t need to see my identification, these are not the droids you are looking for.Ã¢â‚¬Â
78. I may not call block my chain of command.
79. I am neither the king nor queen of cheese.
80. Not allowed to wear a dress
7 years ago
8 years ago
The Airborne Creed
I am an Airborne trooper, A paratrooper! I Jump by parachute from any plane in flight. I volunteered to do it, knowing well the hazards off my choice. I serve in a mighty airborne force, famed in deeds in war and renowned for readiness in peace. I pledge to uphold its honor and prestige in all I am and all I do. I am an elite trooper, a sky trooper, a shock trooper, a spearhead trooper. I blaze the way to far flung goals behind, before, above the foe's front line. I know that I have to fight without support for days on end. Therefore, I keep mind and body always fit to do my part in any airborne task I am self reliant and unafraid. I shoot true, and march fast and far. I fight hard and execute in every art and artifice of war I never fail a fellow trooper. I cherish as a sacred trust the lives of the men with whom I serve. Leaders have my fullest loyalty, and those I lead never find me lacking. I have pride in the Airborne! I never let it down. In peace, I do not shirk the dullest duty nor protest the toughest training. My weapons and equipment are always combat ready. I am neat of dress, military in courtesy, proper in conduct and behavior. In battle, I fear no foe's ability, nor under estimate his prowess, power and agility. I fight him with all my might and skill ever alert to evade capture or escape a trap. I never surrender, though I may be the last. My goal in peace and war is to succeed in any mission of the day or die if it needs be in the try. I belong to a proud and glorious team, the Airborne, the Army, my Country. I am its chosen pride to fight where others my not go to serve them well until the final victory. I am a trooper from the sky! I am my nations best! In peace and war I never fail. Anywhere, anytime, in anything,
I am the Airborne!
A THREAD ABOUT RAINBOW SIX VEGAS PLEASE. NO FIGHTING ON WHOS IS BETTER LIKE I ALWAYS SAY FIGHTING ONLINE IS LIKE WINNING IN THE SPECIAL OLYMPICS IN THE END YOUR STILL RETARTED SO DONT START.YOU CAN TALK ABOUT YOUR EXPERIENCES ONLINE AND OFFLINE, XBL ECT