But seriously, I have been up to some stuff lately and have been doing decently well for me. It has been two weeks since my summer job started up. I run a lovely thing called a Flying Squirrel at a summer camp. I get paid well, and don't have to work really hard. I also worked there once like 3 summers ago so I don't feel as awkward working there because I already knew a couple other people working around the camp as well as how the camp runs overall. So YAAAY no anxiety!!! It also means that during lunch every day I have a group of people I sit with and we chat about dorky shit that we all love, as well as make fun of each other for things. I even carved out the word "Dork" on a plate and had my one coworker / friend? wear it on his lanyard. The small group of us who eat lunch together all work in different areas around camp so lunch is about the only time we hang out. A couple of them are also decently big Rooster Teeth fans as well.
So yea this is overall the best I have felt in ages...
It is also a tad tiring to be dealing with people on such a daily basis without really having a ton of time to myself. As well as my one friend wanting to hang out and do stuff all the time and not really just letting things end, or just letting me not be there. He means well but it feels like he is trying to force things a tad to much as well as a tad to often. Like there is this other acquaintance/friend of mine that I introduced to him a bit back, and she is one of those people who is all over the place and I am friends with her but we don't talk much or see each other like ever. I have known her for about two years. So he started to crush on her bad. He managed to ask her out and now even though he was turned down after going on a date with her, he won't stop trying to plan hangouts with her all the time it feels like. Like he won't let things run naturally he keeps trying to push things weather its friendship, or anything else. '
Also earlier this week on Wednesday he was over and we invited a mutual friend(Kate) as well as one of her friends(Sam) to come hang out for a while. Now Sam was WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY cute. So I spent a lot of the time they were over flirting kus like hell yea I was gonna flirt. It was a work night so I wanted to go to bed at a decent time because I have to wake up at fucking 7am. Now he knew I have a hard time falling asleep often and that I did not want to be up super late. So you know what he decides to do. Instead of letting the night end when I originally wanted it to and even stated it he keeps it going. Now I will say this led to some great fun . But what it also did was make me lose the ability to want to hang out with him and them at all . Now if he had let the night end when I wanted it to, I probably would ot be so exhausted at the notion of being around them. And maybe me and Sam coulda been more then a one night fling... ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I don't really care, or maybe I do care and thats why I don't wanna deal with any of it.