desole

Female
from Los Angeles, CA

  • Activity

    • diet coca cola and unlit cigarettes

      14 years ago

      desole

      gosh... i'm bored.

      this morning was weird. our office has this woman (Reina) who comes in and cleans once every two weeks. she's really cool, and i always look foward to her coming in... but today she was acting all kinds of crazy. when she was cleaning my office she starts telling me how she's an illegal and 20 years ago had paid some Coyotes $3,000 to smuggle her across the border. i couldn't tell if she was serious or not so i kept calling her a mentirosa (liar) and told her i was going to call la migra, and then she started to get all upset and looked like she was about to cry. at first i thought she was serious, and that she was really upset because she thought i was going to try to get her deported... but then i realized she was just a nutball and she was fucking with me. then while she was cleaning my co-worker's (Rebecca) office, she told Rebecca that i had said i was getting married... and when i tried to tell Rebecca that she was just messing around, Reina told me I shouldn't be ashamed of my fiancee just because he was ugly. i swear.. i think crazy people seek me out.

      for ryan
      comic.php?date=07222005

    • the good times are killing me

      14 years ago

      desole

      my body was trying to kill me this morning. for some reason the instant i got on the freeway, my eyes did not want to stay open. i was fighting it so hard but it wasn't working. i had to drive with one hand and hold one of my eyes open with the other. i kept thinking "i should really pull over and get this straightened out", but i was kind of running late, so i just toughed it out. driving on the freeway in l.a. is already treacherous enough... it's 10 times worse with your eyes closed.

      when i came home last night i found my mom's boyfriend sitting on the couch reading the new harry potter book... everyone is infected but me. (i haven't even seen any of the movies. maybe i'm missing out.) but then i went in my room and found that he had left this box of magic tricks on my bed. i was pretty excited. i didn't have a chance to really try anything out, but i'm thoroughly intending to mystify some people this weekend.

      anyway.. onto the results.

      i appreciate that so many people entered. it was really fun reading your responses, and some people got really creative. there were a couple that were hilarious, one or two that really freaked me out, and one that made me want to cry myself to sleep. i had a tough time choosing, but... you know, that's the point of a contest: having a winner.

      so the winner (+15) is mattiecore.
      congrats! now you have to deal with me forever... sucks huh?
      i was going to make a little "award", but i'm lazy. what can i say?
      first runner up (+5) is das. das rules and the ladies should be falling all over themselves to be with him. girls, do it!!
      second runner (+5) up is cg1985 because this is my contest and i can do whatever i want.
      honorable mention goes to zack for not kissing my ass, but kicking it instead.

      that is all.

      history-of-message-boards.gif

    • slippery slope

      14 years ago

      desole

      thanks jason. best joke ever:

      two guys are going to board a plane and are checking in and they get the most beautiful woman with the biggest breasts they have ever seen checking them in. The woman asks where they are going and one of the gentlemen says "We have 2 tickets to Titsburgh...I mean Pittsburgh"

      after the altercation the two guys are on the plane and the one apologizes for what he said earlier, but the other says not to worry, it was just a Freudian Slip. The first guy doesn't know what that is, so the other guy explains that it is when you mean to say one thing, but your subconcious says something else

      the first guy thinks he gets it and says "oh ya, I had one of those last night too, I meant to ask my wife to pass the salt, but instead I said 'you have ruined my life'"

    • no christmas while i'm talking

      14 years ago

      desole

      so, just as a clarification from yesterday:
      you all rock hard... every one of you.
      i was thinking of doing one of those lists where i tell you all how awesome you are for a specific reason... but i'm lazy. anyway, the point is everyone on my friends list makes me happy and i'm glad that i get you enjoy your company.

      moving on... DU_Stars_Fan and I have a contest in the works. (this is not associated with the one that he has currently).
      it's going to be fun (hopefully).. and there will be a prize (obviously). i'm interested to see what kind of responses i get for it. hopefully we will complete it sometime today or this evening... we shall see. so get your thinking caps on...

      apparently i have nothing to say. i played three games of chess with cautionslowc yesterday and i haven't been the same since.
      oh! but i did learn to play euchre last night thanks to chris. i'm happy i have a new game to play.

      enough rambling...

      dreams-are-so-dumb.gif

    • i'm bored

      14 years ago

      desole

      someone entertain me!

      *edit*
      these people rock hard... some harder than others.
      whoismislead
      zach
      daulton
      handsomedude
      13church
      cautionslowc
      enchanter
      big_duke_6


      according to some dude outside there's only 158 days left until the world ends. i say we take a que from Andrew W.K. and party hard real quick.

    • ummm...

      14 years ago

      desole

      holy crap... it's so hot. i burned my feet walking around outside. it hurts a lot.
      also, this morning when i woke up my finger tips wer numb and it hasn't gone away. i'm falling apart. but enough about my phsyical ailments.. i could go on about those all day.

      i went to hollywood today to distribute clothes to the homeless. on my way there i passed a playhouse, and there were tons of old women coming out of it. while i was stopped at the light there i looked and saw that the play was called "menopause: embracing the change" ...as i looked around the crowd more i saw that there was literally one guy in the whole thing. it was this poor little old dude that looked completely scared and confused. i guess that play fucked him up pretty bad. i wonder if he actually went in there as a 30 year old and came out haggared and wrinkled. hmmm...

      the passing out of the clothes went well, but man.. there were some real crazies in the bunch. i thought that a couple people were going to get in a fight over some baby clothes and i was scared. some other dude was picking up armfuls of women's clothes so he could sell them and when i tried to tell him he couldn't do that he came up right in my face and said "what are you gonna do about it?" so i walked away... i'm a wimp. oh well.. whatever.

      that's all.. i think i'm gonna go swimming now. piece.

      *edit*
      i just re-read this and realized this is the most boring journal entry ever.
      sorry guys.. it's the heat.


      *edit for abandoned*

      because he was baroque

      because-he-was-baroque.gif

    • two in one day?

      14 years ago

      desole

      you bet.

      this is something that's been bothering me for a while. i go to Fred Segal to get my hair cut... which really isn't that impressive because my friend works there and only charges me $10, but the point is that it's usually extremely expensive to get your hair cut there. so anyway, i see these ultra-balding guys in there getting their hair did by a master stylist that costs about $115 a pop. BALD!!! $115!!! what the hell? are there any bald guys on here that can please explain this to me? why would you spend $115 to get your four remaining hairs cut? it baffles me. you could go to super cuts and we'd be none the wiser. i mean, i don't have big boobs so i don't spend $70 on a bra... and if i did, it'd have to be a magic bra that granted wishes. but we all know that bras don't grant wishes... and neither do haircuts for that matter.

      on another note, i really love how gmail gives me Spam recepies when i browse through my spam folder.
      for example:

      Spam Swiss Pie

      1 Deep dish pie shell (9")
      6 Eggs
      1c Whipping cream
      1/8t Pepper
      1cn SPAM Luncheon Meat, cubed-(12 oz)
      1/4c Chopped onion
      2c Shredded Swiss cheese, -divided

      Heat oven to 425'F. Bake pie shell 6-8 minutes. Reduce oven
      temperature to 350'F. In bowl, beat together eggs, whipping cream,
      and pepper. Stir in SPAM and onion. Sprinkle 1 cup cheese in pie
      shell. Pour egg mixture over cheese. Sprinkle remaining cheese over
      egg. Bake 45-55 minutes or until eggs are set.


      that kinda sounds gross though....

    • jenny from the block

      14 years ago

      desole

      i had the strangest dream last night. i know that it was really long, but i only remember a part of it. i remember that i was walking down this hallway and i looked to my left and i see this music video set being finished. i asked them what they were going to be shooting and they looked at me kinda funny and told me to go sit at one of the tables on the stage. so i went up there and sat down while they were finishing up. i was looking around and the walls were painted with coy pond scenes, and there were neon water falls, and the stage was covered in cafeteria round tables with orange chairs... so anyway, the director guy comes up to me and says "ok, you ready? just mimic what you see on the screen." i was totally confused, but he ran away before i could say anything or ask him what was going on... so the screen turns on and jennifer lopez is on it, and for some reason i have to sing along to this song and be really passionate about it, and i'm going to be in her music video instead of her? i had never even heard the song before...i really messed up the first time and they got mad at me, and i tried to explain to them that i was a horrible actress and that i'd never even heard the song before, but they didn't want to listen. so the second time it got a little better, and then the third time i was freakin' amazing. about halfway through the song they had all these dancers come out and start crawling around on the floor and i was trying really hard not to get distracted by them. anyway, when it was all over i woke up and felt totally drained... strange. why jennifer lopez? i don't even remotely like her...

      butts_lol.png

      i wish you weren't so huggable
      when i feel like a cactus tree
      who wants to touch the thorns
      of a hopeless nobody?

    • decapitated everything he hated

      14 years ago

      desole

      i've had no desire to update this thing... i think it's cause it's so freakin' hot. i think the sun may have actually touched down sometime around 7:30 am. i woke up feeling like i had been running around at the beach all day... what an awful way to wake up. and then i looked at my phone and i had a weird text message and i still don't know what's going on and it's freakin' me out. hmmm.....

      my boss took us out to lunch today as a ten year celebration lunch thing. i got a $40 salad. did you know they made $40 salads? i didn't, but now i do... the whole meal for fthree people literally cost more than i make it a week, how wasteful is that? however, this was the most relaxing lunch i've ever had. it was up in Malibu right on the coast, overlooking the ocean... we even saw dolphins. i felt like the biggest snob on the planet at that point. but i've decided that i'm only going to eat one a week and then go eat at some place like that.

      being out there and driving up the coast made me realize *yet again* how much i love california. i hate people who complain about living in l.a. if you don't like where you live, go about three miles in any direction... you'll find something totally different. at least you don't live in wyoming, right?

      while i was eating lunch though, i saw this woman with the most GREOTESQUE hole in her face. i don't know what the fuck was going on with it, but it looked like a small donut on her face that was all red and purple and looked like it had wicked gross mold on it, and it had taken over her eye and stuff. WTF. she was right in my line of site too... even thinking about it'm getting a little pukey. i felt bad for her, but jesus christ.. please wear some sunglasses or something. man, that made me feel bad... i shouldn't say things like that.

      now i'm back at work falling asleep...
      zzzZZZzzzZZZzzZzzzz

      rootbeer is good

      speak-softly.gif

      i'm off to conquer my watch list.
      sorry i haven't been commenting much... i will fix this.

    • walking the cow

      14 years ago

      desole

      last night at 2:00 am i was trying to force myself to go to sleep when all of a sudden “101 strangest things ever taken out of the human body†came on. there was no way i could miss this, especially cause they kept saying that there was this dude in india that had another person living in his stomach!!! unfortunately i fell asleep about 5 minutes before i got to see the man-living-in-stomach part, but the rest of it was awesome. rebar through the face? what could be better?

      unfortunately the lack of sleep coupled with the ridiculousness that has been my morning has put my into a mood most foul.

      i can already tell that i will probably end up in the throws of a nervous breakdown sometime around 11:00 am.

      i need a drink. make mine a vodka tonic with a twist. hold the tonic and twist it with the juice from the vodka fruit. thanks.

      super-complainer.gif


      charlie, don't say 'too much reading.'


      p.s. i love the fact that i know this guy: 2201554
      did i say "love"? i meant "i'm terrified"

  • About Me

  • Comments (1474)

    • iamwillow

      13 years ago

      what's your favorite nick drake album?

    • DU_Stars_Fan

      13 years ago

      I see your Gus and raise you a Kat smiley8.gif

    • DU_Stars_Fan

      13 years ago

      Hehe...I'm just full of surprises when you disappear.

    • DU_Stars_Fan

      13 years ago

      HOCKEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! smiley12.gifsmiley0.gifsmiley12.gif

    • Jengaship FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Travancore on DD

      13 years ago

      Unfortunately, I wasn't able to see Sufjan. I had to take care of something for my parents at the new house that night.

    • CALLmeCRAZY

      13 years ago

      I smiley12.gif CRYSTAL!!!

    • DU_Stars_Fan

      13 years ago

      I smiley12.gif 2 things right now: Reunion and you...if you need anything at all just lemme know.

    • Gummo

      13 years ago

      smiley12.gif

    • Jengaship FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Travancore on DD

      13 years ago

      Do you mean Terry Tate, Office Linebacker?

      I didn't see him when I looked, but I did see alot of the sideprojects of my friend Ryan, including the Cagey Bees. Ryan fleshed out alot of the Jengaship mythos. It's just a damn shame he lost the domain.

    • mizzle

      13 years ago

      Of course. That second comment was really just to earn the funny heading.

      Also, 'unshove that affection' is one of the funniest phrases in the english language.

    • yonex47

      13 years ago

      you have some kick ass music

    • DU_Stars_Fan

      13 years ago

      Don't go to school and leave me! I'm gonna be sad. I require chef attire pictures though.

    • Zach

      13 years ago

      At least the thread he posted it in was locked.

    • Abandoned

      13 years ago

      i meant now what was the point in me commenting =P if you're taking my words, wordstealer smiley6.gif

    • Abandoned

      13 years ago

      whats team bad core?

    • Abandoned

      13 years ago

      >.> <.< >.>

      <--- smiley0.gif

    • Abandoned

      13 years ago

      funniest thing eh
      you're in a very boring place then aren't you smiley8.gif

    • mizzle

      13 years ago

      Obviously it runs on pure, unadulterated sexy.

    • Lukie

      13 years ago

      MY JOURNAL NOW (FOR SEX)

    • schnitte

      13 years ago

      here.

      download one. then open your themes box under "tools" and drag the file onto the themes winow and it'll install it.

    • Abandoned

      13 years ago

      i'm sad you didn't participate =(

    • gus FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Elite Staff

      13 years ago

      MY CHIBI!!!
      RIGHT CLICK IT AND SAVE IT FOR ME BECAUSE I DELETED IT THE OTHER DAY!!! SEND IT TO ME!

    • NO_YES

      13 years ago

      Gus drank your slurpee, so here's a new one. Better horde it.

      NO_YES433dd09f1f2a8.jpg

      YES

    • dasfowler

      13 years ago

      I hope so...

      das

    • Gummo

      14 years ago

      I am. I got my webcam.

    • DU_Stars_Fan

      14 years ago

      So that means I'll get to see you in person smiley8.gif

    • Gummo

      14 years ago

      Where are you? I need you.

    • DU_Stars_Fan

      14 years ago

      Mmm, my taco bell horse meat food is amazing. I just love eating food that comes from a caulk gun. Oh my God, it's just amazing!

    • DU_Stars_Fan

      14 years ago

      Ok, after last night and today I'm in serious need of some crystal time. Tomorrow it's just you, me, and my computer while I sit around and do nothing but amuse you while yo are working. This I promise.

    • Gummo

      14 years ago

      1. You smoke. Which, oddly I think is hot.
      2. Fake Palindromes by Andrew Bird
      3. Awesome Jello. It tastes like fucking awesome.
      4. What are your stats?
      5. I just was looking around, and saw you. Liked your journal, liked your pics.
      6. Baby Racoon.
      7. How many crushes do you have right now? :p

    • whosmisled

      14 years ago

      that was my reaction when I saw them on this club's schedule. And seeing this Israeli band called Man Alive

    • Jengaship FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Travancore on DD

      14 years ago

      I've heard of Sandman, and I've been meaning to check it out. The only thing I've read by Gaiman was his Marvel 1602, which is basically what the marvel universe would be like if it started 400 years ago instead.

      Although, one of the funniest comments I've ever been privy to at a con came when one of the Marvel editors answered a question about what non-Marvel books he's reading with an enthusiastic "I'm knee deep in Gaiman!"

      Not that there's anything wrong with that.

    • alaofarda

      14 years ago

      but isn't "notitleforme" a title
      *head explodes*

    • dasfowler

      14 years ago

      1. Your parents are as weird as mine...
      2. Be My Escape-Reliant K or Want Ad-MxPx
      3. Strawberry (the easiest one yet, for some reason...)
      4. When am I gonna get my muffins?
      5. Well, the REAL you? :) Your first journal and my chat with you were I found out that I think you are one of my favorite people. Glad you stuck around??
      6. Black Lab (really clever, loyal, and beautiful in a majestic way)
      7. Why culinary school??
      8. If I do this for you, you MUST NOT post this in your journal. Meh, you...well, I forgive :P

      das

    • dasfowler

      14 years ago

      Riskiest thing I have ever done??
      Hmm
      Well, either told 3 girls within 2 months about my feelings for them, or...well, I can't think of anything else, so there...that's it...

      das

    • DU_Stars_Fan

      14 years ago

      2. Definitely not a song about two guys, one of which wishes the other was a girl smiley6.gif let's see though, just to go with your song I'll go "if I were gay" by Stephen Lynch until I can come up with something better
      3. I dunno, anything red, cause I like red jello and I like you (cue the :::aww:::)
      4. Wanna make out? OR closets...definitely closets OR blankets
      5. I swear you were stalking me on other people's profiles...I swear!
      6. A hyena because despite you NEVER smiling in pictures you are ALWAYS laughing
      7. Why haven't you had a boyfriend for 2 years? It defies all logic and reason.
      8. If I do this for you, you must post this in your journal. You MUST. It is written. blah blah blah...you already did, and I don't want a vicious cycle to form

    • gus FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Elite Staff

      14 years ago

      About 6'2".
      My hobbies include looming over people.

    • DU_Stars_Fan

      14 years ago

      I'm already the back-up husband, what more do I need to do to get that front runner spot? And sure, for you tiny cakes and massages...I'll even let you win at cards from time to time.

    • DU_Stars_Fan

      14 years ago

      I wanted to be a baker...I even had an easy bake oven that I loved more than life itself (imagine my love of the Dallas Stars now...it was worse than that). I made the best damn mini cookies and brownies ever...I ruled...

    • mizzle

      14 years ago

      Radical atheist is to help make the difference between my opinion and that of an agnostic, which atheists are often mistaken for, clear. I have no problem with others and any views on religion, except those who follow blindly and without thought or reason. These are the people that tell me to 'go read the Bible so you can see the truth.' By referring to myself as a radical atheist, it frightens away most of these naysayers preemptively, and also sounds damn cool.

      To boot, it's a tribute to the late, great Douglas Adams, who coined the term for such a use.

    • lefty

      14 years ago

      1. You love bums
      2. Death Cab for Cutie - Title and Registration (can be sent upon request)
      3. Pistachio
      4. not nice people are no fun
      5. Tim sent me
      6. mousies
      7. If you could leave Ca, would you come visit me?
      8. If I do this for you, you must post this in your journal. You MUST. It is written.

    • Jengaship FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Travancore on DD

      14 years ago

      To me, Jengaship is a word I took from Homestar Runner and made my own. If you Google "Strong Bad Message Bored", you'll see that I was one of the oldskool Homestar Runner fans. Since then, I've made it my hobby to try and become an internet celebrity with as little effort but as much intelligence as possible. Jengaship is the class of the fleet. Jengaship stands for dilligence, loyalty, and a modicum of personal integrity. At the same time, the name itself is ludicrous, so that I never take myself too seriously.

    • lefty

      14 years ago

      Tim posted that people should be your friend in one of his journals, so I put you on my watchlist and commented on your stuff until you noticed me, fell in love with me, and then we consummated our relationship over a three day weekend in tahoe.

    • cg1985

      14 years ago

      being Put on Hold. A lot.

    • cg1985

      14 years ago

      And buy Work Sucks I mean, I am STILL at work.

    • cg1985

      14 years ago

      For the Record. Work Sucks.

    • Zach

      14 years ago

      Sleepy, huh? And now a picture of the worlds most creepiest pillow:
      pillow8lc.jpg
      Yer ass ain't sleepy no more! Just freaked! FREAKED!

    • NO_YES

      14 years ago

      "No-one can defeat the quad laser."

      "It is over now!"

      "The bullet is enormeous there is no escaping."

      "Jumping... is... useless!"

      YES

    • CALLmeCRAZY

      14 years ago

      you can't escape the phenomenon of my logical grasp.

      We all love Crystal and she shouldn't be sad. People should post 'me too' after this if they agree.

    • DU_Stars_Fan

      14 years ago

      P.S. I have no idea what the fuck this is, but it appears to be a smiling pear...so be like a pear and smile...that really doesn't work very well, does it?
      chia_pear_baby.gif

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