desole

Female
from Los Angeles, CA

  • Activity

    • things and stuff

      12 years ago

      desole

      i've been drinking every night at work because all the guys on the line give me beer after our shift is over. usually i drink at the most like twice a month... this is lame.

      but it's just so hard to say no to a man who just opened a beer with a knife for you... i mean, he risked cutting off his three remaining fingers just for me!

      on another note, i was sitting at the bus stop and i found a notebook sitting there... someone had left it behind, so i opened it to see if i could return it to them. being nosey, i read an essay i found in there. it was a high school girl's notebook, and her essay was about what her life was like at this moment in time... it gave a little background and it went something like this:

      right now, i'm as happy as i've ever been. i have good friends, and a good boyfriend. before i found them i was really sad because i had a pill popper mom, a dad whose been in jail for most of my life for rape, and when i was 12 i found out i couldn't have kids. but now things are okay because i moved out of the house when i turned 15 and have a job with my own money and can do what i want.


      okay... that was depressing. it kinda made me want to stop complaining because like 10 before that i was on the phone with my friend bitching about how i had to take the bus. at least i'm not her... word.

    • happy almost post turkey day

      12 years ago

      desole

      6.jpg

      i wish i could make snowmen where i lived...

    • two stupid things:

      12 years ago

      desole

      #1. on my way to work today i was walking down the street, and i heard barking coming from across the street. i looked over, and i saw this thing on the lawn of the church and it was moving. i was like "oh man! it's a robotic dog! how cool." so i was was watching it for a little while and i noticed that it was moving really strangley and that it looked like it was made of green plastic. i kept watching it and then i realized... it wasn't a robotic dog.. it was a fucking plant. i am an idiot.

      #2. on my way out of work, i stopped in the bathroom. the men and women's bathroom are right next to each other and there's a huge sign on the women's room that says "FEMALES ONLY, if you're a male, use the MEN'S RESTROOM". so i come out and there's a dude standing there waiting for the men's restroom and he says "oh, so you're a rulebreaker? even though it says females only huh?" i looked at him and said "did you just call me a guy?" he looked so embarassed, but i was more embarassed. i wanted to die and then laugh at my corpse.


    • wtf

      12 years ago

      desole

      man, what a day
      i was driving to work and i got his by a semi flat bed truck.
      it was the scariest moment of my life... 1 foot off and i could have been decapitated.
      i had no where to go... i just sat there watching the inside of my car fold in on itself getting closer and closer to me. if he had kept moving the truck would have gone through the side of my door and right into me, if i had been a foot back the bed would have taken off the roof of my car. i'm so fucking freaked out... i'm so shocked. i was stopped at a light waiting to turn right, next to the truck... he didn't have his blinker on, he didn't block the lane to indicate he was going to turn... the light turned green and he started to go and his wheel just plowed right into me sandwiching me between the truck and the curb. i had no where to go, so i just sat there honking and watching his crush me. i really didn't think i was gonna be okay. then it stopped, and i sat there staring at his truck, and i see him turn on his blinker, and he gets out of the truck and starts screaming at me about how he was signaling and how irresponsible i was and how he could have killed me, and i'm just sitting there shaking and crying and he won't stop screaming at me. and then out of nowhere another random truck driver stops and comes over to my car where i'm just freaking out and starts yelling at me about getting inbetween a car and its turn and how i'm an idiot, but i know it's not my fault... and i think the pictures will prove that.

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    • happy birthday

      12 years ago

      desole

      my friend was telling me about his birthday, which was about a week ago

      his parents took him out to dinner, and then went back home to have cake
      at dinner his dad got wasted, and when they got home passed out on the couch
      my friend's step mom got the cake out, and lit the candles, etc.
      she then took the cake over to my friend's dad and said "manny, wake up, it's time for cake"
      he woke up very confused and proceeded to blow out the candles and fall back to sleep.


      HAHAHAHA... what a fucker.

    • well, that was awkward

      12 years ago

      desole

      i went on a job interview today... but it was a strange kind of job interview because i had to do a dessert tasting for the head chefs at this hotel. they told me LAST NIGHT at like 8:30 that i had to put something together and i had to be in there at 7:00 AM. LAME. anyway, i threw together some ideas, which weren't half bad.

      i got there this morning and no one that was supposed to be there to set me up was there, so i sat around for like 30 minutes and finally this girl shows up. the pastry girl. when i went on my initial interview at this place they told me that the pastry girl had hurt her back and might not be coming back... but if she did she would be part time and i would be her assistant. i said okay... fine, we'll see where this goes. so i show up today, and start talking to her etc.... come to find out that the hotel actually wants to fire her and they're auditioning me to REPLACE HER. so i had to WORK WITH HER all day, and she didn't even know that she was going to get fired... i felt like such a jerk. she asked me why i was coming in and i was like "uhhh... uhhh..." so here i am making shit to impress the chefs so that they'll hire me, and fire her, but she's being super nice to me and helping me out all day.

      i
      am
      an
      asshole

    • tv has ruined my life.

      12 years ago

      desole

      while i was at work on thursday, the topic of project runway came up with the girl i was working with.
      i got super excited because i am completely addicted to that show...
      then she started going on and on about how much she likes laura and hates jefferey and is so glad that laura said that about jeffrey and hopes he gets kicked off the show.

      i knew right then that we could never be friends.

      then i realized i was basing my judgements about someone soley on a reality television show and decided that i was an idiot. but i still think that she's totally wrong and i'll never look at her the same way again.

    • SERIOUSLY!?

      12 years ago

      desole

      i just got this e-mail after i posted my resume on Craigslist:

      ---------

      Crystal,

      I saw your resume on Craigslist and was trying to get your phone number to call and see if you were interested in interviewing for a celebrity assistant position with 36 Mafia. The interview would be taped because we are making a documentary about 36 Mafia. I know you're interested in being a pastry cook, and we are looking for a wide range of people to bring in to interview. Please e-mail your contact information if you're interested.

      Thanks,

      Matt Trierweiler
      MTV

      --------

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    • so...

      12 years ago

      desole

      culinary school is over.
      i can't believe it's been a year.
      what a fucking trip.
      now i'm working at providence doing pastry
      you can check it out at www.providencela.com
      fancy shit
      you can see the desserts i do in the pictures.
      drop by sometime if you're in the neighborhood and looking to drop a couple bills.

    • i was...

      13 years ago

      desole

      ...in a stupid dumbass car accident.
      i got rear-ended and now my trunk won't close.
      i'm piiiiissssssssssed....
      three car accident. i slammed on the brakes to avoid hitting the guy infont of me that was doing the same. lady behind me slams on her brakes to avoid hitting me. guy behind her isn't paying attention and slams into her, which makes her slam into me. dude that hit her gets out of his car and gets in my face about how i'm an idiot for stopping on the freeway. fuck that noise... both the cops and insurance companies said i was absolutely not at fault. sweeeeeeet. i just hope they don't total my car (sad).
      and how lucky i was that someone i knew was driving by right when it happened. i get a message saying "hi crystal, i was just driving by when i saw you get into an accident! ohmygod! hope you're okay!"
      for some reason that's always been a fear of mine... having someone i know see me get into an accident. how embarassing.

      ontop of that i always wanted to be listening to some epic song that was fitting for the occasion. the fiona apple i was rocking really didn't cut it... at all.

      boo for car accidents! boo i say!!

      now to enjoy this painkiller, some project runway, and a little sleep.


      p.s. my job interview is tomorrow... wish me luck :D

  • About Me

  • Comments (1474)

    • Jimmybaby

      13 years ago

      lol yea it makes me feel good about myself too. i mean...i thought i was a spoiled brat...lol

    • Abandoned

      13 years ago

      i had the weirdest dream yesterday...

      me, my brother and some highschool friends went undercover to my elementary school to pass ourselves as gr8 kids so we can win the volleyball tournament for the school...

      you and ivana (its_jamjam) were on the other team and you were realllly short.

      it was declared a tie because we kept going bakc and forth so no points were scored
      then we went and got some food. yup...

      are you short?
      do you play volleyball :P

    • jeff Shorts Forum Mod

      13 years ago

      House finale = :O!

    • pjb897

      13 years ago

      I hope flattered. I did one for everybody on my Friends list.

    • Governator1

      13 years ago

      I am proud of your accomplishments in the kitchen. It is not a place for the faint-of-heart.

    • pjb897

      13 years ago

      bearddesole0wa.jpg

    • DU_Stars_Fan

      13 years ago

      You, me, and euchre have a 3-some awaiting us.

    • DU_Stars_Fan

      13 years ago

      No, super queer like hitting on Brian and giving menus and cards and all sorts of nicey nice talk.

    • DU_Stars_Fan

      13 years ago

      Sorry I sucked it up in euchre today...I realized I made some pretty crappy plays...I must get back into it and become super duper amazing...like I am at spades.

    • DU_Stars_Fan

      13 years ago

      Yes please!!!!!

    • DU_Stars_Fan

      13 years ago

      Moo

    • MustyMung

      13 years ago

      you love my images like you love chicken galantine.

    • DU_Stars_Fan

      13 years ago

      That's not my steak knife selling tie...that's my firing drunken employees tie...get it right, gee

    • DU_Stars_Fan

      13 years ago

      P.S. I'm so better at creating witty comments...that was an insult to you for my lack of effort put forth let alone any other ramifications that it caused. I apologize and promise I'll do better in the future.

      P.P.S. Wanna write an intro for that one Q&A we still have?

    • DU_Stars_Fan

      13 years ago

      Hey...you...did you do something nice for your mommy? Perhaps buy her a new leather outfit?

      ...did that cross a line...I don't think I've ever tried to make fun of your family before.

    • Pharcyde

      13 years ago

      your music taste deserves a cheers! so cheers

    • DU_Stars_Fan

      13 years ago

      Gee...thanks...you spoil me so...I figured I was going to have to fight the rats for scraps, not get free reign to grab them myself.

    • DU_Stars_Fan

      13 years ago

      For free? How am I supposed to live?

    • DU_Stars_Fan

      13 years ago

      Nor me...that's why I manage...and you cook...

      So sleepy.

    • DU_Stars_Fan

      13 years ago

      Ya...our GM hates him though...and when we got mystery shopped last he TOTALLY fucked up...like cost us 15% on the report because he didn't do simple standard things like offering bottled water and telling specials. It was nuts.

    • DU_Stars_Fan

      13 years ago

      He's apparently been having a hard time in his personal life, so last night when we had him bartend a private aprty he proceeded to drink himself...got trashed...puked on a fellow employee...then puked on the floor in the kitchen...then lied about drinking.

    • Jengaship FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Travancore on DD

      13 years ago

      Well, you could put up 2 songs at a time or something. I would download the songs, arrange them, then host them. With your permission, I could consult with a small cabal of Jengaship loyalists to see what they could do but I want to clear it with you first.

    • Jengaship FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Travancore on DD

      13 years ago

      I guess you lost your patience, or never heard a good punchline for a knock knock joke involving "me". Too bad. It would have been awesome. I would have said "Meeeeeeexpoooooooooool!" and you'da been like "O YA" and I'd be listening to some bangin' beats right about now.

      Oh well. I'll just have to do a Jengapool.

    • Jengaship FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Travancore on DD

      13 years ago

      Me.

    • Jengaship FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Travancore on DD

      13 years ago

      Knock Knock...

    • Abandoned

      13 years ago

      clever
      i misread it

      so don't wanna work with the hot stuff eh smiley8.gif

    • pimpman07

      13 years ago

      banner5.jpg
      here you go
      i made this especially for you
      and the sunglasses

    • Abandoned

      13 years ago

      garden manager doesnt' sound very chef-y :P

    • BamBamBradley twitch.tv/BamBamBradley

      13 years ago

      lol, well I do like them but I agree as I haven't listend to them for about a year and half.

    • DU_Stars_Fan

      13 years ago

      It just means I miss you a lot...imitation is the sincerest form of flattery

    • DU_Stars_Fan

      13 years ago

      Oh ya...I stole that one big time...and I love you for it smiley12.gif

    • cg1985

      13 years ago

      Yea... If only I had ghost like powers, and not just a passive nobody in a spacial rift!

    • prittynred

      13 years ago

      ah, que bella! Grazie, signorina!

    • prittynred

      13 years ago

      I can live with that smiley1.gif

    • prittynred

      13 years ago

      I suppose we can reign supreme over Jason's page together smiley8.gif

    • pimpman07

      13 years ago

      yyyyyyyyyyyyyoooooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Abandoned

      13 years ago

      hahaha

      ah bad puns
      how i love thee

    • Jengaship FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Travancore on DD

      13 years ago

      When's YOUR birthday?

    • Jengaship FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Travancore on DD

      13 years ago

      I don't remember if I said this or not but, June 29th.

    • DU_Stars_Fan

      13 years ago

      At least we'd have some damn good food...I assume you've learned how to make boot stew since that's all we could afford.

    • DU_Stars_Fan

      13 years ago

      Dear Crystal,

      If you stop going to school all the time, I'll quit my job...then we can be internet bums again...except broke.

      Love,
      Jason

    • pimpman07

      13 years ago

      Heyo!!
      If you're in need of some mods (everyone is), then join my riddle contest and strain your brain, or just guess. That works too.
      Your participation would be greatly appreciated.
      Thankyou and good luck.

    • IcedEmblem32

      13 years ago

      desolecopy3rg.jpg

    • lefty

      13 years ago

      It's been fun.

    • DU_Stars_Fan

      13 years ago

      Ya...what happened to the mix pool?

      Also...how do I change my icon with this Gaim thing-a-ma-bobber?

    • mattiecore

      13 years ago

      What happened with the mix pool? Anything?

    • Trev

      13 years ago

      ...of course it's a popular ride! When is a donkey in a top hat not popular?

    • NeutralMilk

      13 years ago

      Enjoy!

    • dasfowler

      13 years ago

      Do you still exsist/!?!

      das

    • DU_Stars_Fan

      13 years ago

      punk :::runs away:::

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