dizzyblinker FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Loud person

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from CA -> ME -> TX

  • Activity

    • 8 years ago

      dizzyblinker Loud person
    • Brave Story

      8 years ago

      dizzyblinker Loud person

      So I went to Applebees tonight with my mother, we had drinks and some good food. It was a quite enjoyable time! But throughout the giant plasma screens of college football, watching the crowd pour in and enjoying my mother's company one thing repeatedly caught my eye.
      There was a massive line to get a table in Applebees, and this kid was waiting with his family. Nothing too spectacular about that right? But the thing that made me glance back repeatedly to him was this. Wholly absorbed in his book, ignoring the outside world, reminded me of me when I was his age...
      It was a fond feeling.
      So on our way out, the family still in line, I stole a glance at his book; it was titled "Brave Story," so naturally, being intrigued, I looked it up online.
      Well, wiki sold me enough to warrant further investigation. So, that will be the next book in my long series of novels I must read.
      That's all for now, thought I'd share.

      P.S.
      Screaming out Weezer lyrics the entire way home with your mother while slightly buzzed? Fucking awesome. Her knowing all the lyrics as well and joining in just as loudly? EPIC. :D

    • I think...

      8 years ago

      dizzyblinker Loud person

      I might have started becoming a full fledged woman....
      I've watched a total of three girly chick-flick movies in the past week....
      I'm scared Dave, will I dream?

    • Note to self.

      8 years ago

      dizzyblinker Loud person

      Remember not to attempt to check RT via my phone.
      Happy holidays. :D

    • ah holidays.

      8 years ago

      dizzyblinker Loud person


      Just had a good weekend. In fact, mostly things are improving all the way around. Call it my inner pessimist though but I doubt this elated state of being will last, such a pity too.

      Heh, but all is quiet on the home front. Therefore things are good :D

      Had to share the song that's been stuck in my head all day.

      www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-j_PZjst5U

      I wanna drive all day. Need to fix my car so that's possible.

      Happy holidays. :D

    • Long Way Home.

      8 years ago

      dizzyblinker Loud person

      If I hadn't spent the last hour or so dicking with my computer in the hopes of connecting to my damn internet which is supposedly included in my rent but rarely works, I might have actually remembered the correct title for this damn rant. But since nothing has gone right since I got in the car this evening, I figure this wont either. (And to add to my bad mood, my alarm just went off for a lecture I was supposed to attend tonight, starting in fifteen minutes. I have a half hour commute.)

      I wish I could say where my bad mood started. It wasn't even truly a bad mood in the beginning. At least I don't think it was. But then again, I've been getting frustrated again lately. I'm feeling restless, and as usual, November is here. I hate a love/hate relationship with this month, I truly do. It tends to be the month where my creative outbursts reach their peak, but that comes at a price. This is also the month where I tend to become reckless, for some reason this month like no other out of the year triggers something inside of me...

      I'm at a point where I'm feeling quite jaded. And alone. Not lonely, alone. There is a difference I've learned throughout the years. That being said, I reiterate my point. I'm feeling jaded. I don't know exactly when this started again, but I'll blame it on November for now, after all I will eventually anyhow. I suppose though the feeling itself is the frustrating part. I can't quite put my finger on the cause. I would like to say that in all probability it is because I'm bored again. The novelties have worn off, the routine has set in and I've been living in a daze once more.

      I hate living in such a way.

      I suppose I realized something today; although I'm content, I'm not happy. I guess the only way to explain that would be like this: I'm content with my friends and family, I'm content with school, my jobs, my life. But I'm bored, I'm unhappy with the situation. I feel like I'm at another stagnant point in my life. Which generally when I get to this notion, personally I think this one has been a long time coming, I tend to stop functioning for a bit. I become consumed with thoughts on how to change the situation, how to edit my life to my desires and needs, both of which are very very few in number. And when I feel like I have come up with a "reasonable" answer, I act upon it. Now this has caused me more problems than not I feel, but only in the aspect of living by our society's labels and standards for someone of my age, gender and race. But then again, when have I truly ever followed the "norm?" The answer is rarely, if ever. Don't get me wrong, I am a responsible relatively upstanding citizen and human being, but I don't play well with others for the most part, and I definitely don't follow orders. But somehow I'm digressing...Um. Oh. Editing my life to my needs. So yes, this generally comes out in a revamping of some aspect of my life, new job/new place/new friends/habits you name it. Or in more extreme cases, relocation in combination of the aforementioned list. Lately, I've been debating the latter.

      But, alas, I've made a major mistake in that case. Or rather I'm allowing myself to follow my better/worst nature and do what I excel at. Support.

      The question is though, for someone that claims to have an insatiable "Joie de Vivre", or "Quiero de mi vida" or even "Desidero vitae mium" etc etc etc, should at least have a bit more drive than what I do, right?

      I suppose I think the thing that frustrates me the most is, that when I was thinking all of this during my drive, that the first word to pop up into my mind was the word "content." I don't know about you, but I don't want to be just content. I want to be absolutely thrilled with my life every second of it, and if I'm not thrilled, I want to be so so unhappy with it that I force myself to seek new ways to regain that pure love of my life, that pure happiness of being so much more than just content with what I have been given, what I am doing. I guess that to me, to be just simply content with one's life, you are settling, and to settle means to give up, and if you are giving up, why bother?

      I simply couldn't. I want back my lust for life, my love for it, my pure happiness that doesn't just come from the day to day fact of knowing that I have a stable life. I want more. Much much more.

      The question is how.

      I may not have the answer now, and I know I am far from finding a solution, and further from finding it quickly. But I'm ok with that, because the best things come in time, not to those who wait, but to those who avidly seek it in every aspect of their existence.

      Or at least for me they do.

      That's all for now.

      Thanks to my fabricated audience for letting me share.

    • Back to the beginning.

      8 years ago

      dizzyblinker Loud person

      I'm writing this one in case when this week starts up I am derelict in my duties to my digital life.
      I had a really odd dream last night, probably due to extraneous events, and in it I remembered some things.
      For starters, I think (on the little downtime I have) I'm going to have a "returning to my roots" if you will. Because I figure certain things got me started into my geeky nerdom that has transformed me into the wonderful (haha) person I am today.
      For instance, the three games that got me interested in the gaming world when I was a child: Tetris, Mario series, Zelda series. And now, I am going to undertake a slow (very slow, due to time restraints) mission to relieve those fond childhood memories by replaying them again.
      As for my accreditation into the anime and manga aspects of my life, I'd love to have some more, erm pure?, roots than what I have, but I've racked my brain over and over again, my first true intro to a&m was watching sailor moon when I was a child. So as it's been a good 15-18 years since I've seen any of the series I might as well watch it, hell, I need something to put on when I go to bed.
      So I'm by far not returning to every root possible, after all I am way too busy for my own good most days, but hell, I think it'll be fun as hell.
      Now for laundry, homework and then real work.
      Ciao

    • 8 years ago

      dizzyblinker Loud person
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