eli_riffkin

Male
from Waxahachie, TX

  • Activity

    • It's been some time...

      8 years ago

      eli_riffkin

      It's been a while since I've logged onto RVB.com A lot has happened. I've failed as a writer, a comic publisher, massage therapy is slow going because no one wants a massage from a guy, roommates have been stupid, I've broken up with my GF, I've discovered the meaning to life, I've moved into a new house, 2009 was the worst year in galactic history and I've been doing whatever it takes to make 2010 a good year.

      The thoughts that bring me to rvb.com is as follows...

      Porn stars get paid for sex, whereas sex is something that's difficult to get for free, in the 'real world'. Money is also something that's hard to get.

      Should I become a porn star and have lots of sex and money? I'm no buff stud by any means, but I'd get two things I really need to live my life comfortably, and I could do massage therapy on the side. I know there are those who would tell me that I don't have the look, but who wants to see a guy in a porn anyway? A guy is just a dick to penetrate the real star of the feature, put a paper bag over my head if you have to.

      I'd post this on Facebook or Myspace, but there's no such thing as web-blogging with those sites anymore. If I have something profound to say, I can't just type it up and post it. There are too many character limits. Plus, where else am I going to rant where no one's gonna read it? Too many friends to bitch at me for my thoughts there.

      I hope anyone who reads this is doing well. Glad RVB is still going strong.

      Be good.

    • So, I'm going to Comic Con 2009

      10 years ago

      eli_riffkin

      That's right, I'm off to San Diego from Thursday July 23rd through the 26th. I hope I get to see someone of importance.
      :)

      Maybe my comic might make it somewhere.

      See you guys at booth 1437.

    • The End is Nigh

      10 years ago

      eli_riffkin

      If you like "28 Days Later" and its sequel, "28 Weeks Later", then click on this link...

      www.fanfiction.net/s/4614864/1/The_End_is_Nigh

      ...or copy/paste it in the address bar. It is the chapter by chapter, completed story I've been writing since February 2007. The story is only 55 pages total, and is a darn good read. If you're up for a treat this Halloween, please read and critique. I'd love to know what you all think.

      It is the story of 7 people and their struggle to survive as they hide out and prepare to flee Paris, France, as the city has been overrun with the infected victims of the Rage Virus.
      Probably the most gruesome story I've written yet. Please read and enjoy.

      : )

      M@


      P.S. Emmerbuns... this one is for you.

    • Done!

      10 years ago

      eli_riffkin

      So as some of you may or may not know at this point, I have been working on a comic for the better part of a year now, and haven't had any updates on its progress... That was because the illustrator I was working with didn't approve of my material and kindly wanted to move away from the project. Well many months later, I found an illustrator who loves my writing and is willing to work with me.
      We have been working together since March, in our spare time, and have achieved the first step in a dream I had over a year ago. We have been working our asses off and I am now please to say that we have finished our first issue of my Comic, "DAILY Aspects of Life" - Issue 1: Stay in School... with 62 full pages of Completed Illustrated Comic Joy Doom.

      Slave Labor Graphics has agreed to look at it, and if they pick it up, soon you will see my comic published and available online and in Hot Topic next year.

      I'm so fucking happy I could poop.

    • Is Masturbating to a dead person wrong?

      11 years ago

      eli_riffkin

      I was just wondering because there are alot of women who were really hot, who are no longer among the living.
      I used to make out with this girl in High School, and I wanted to lose my virginity to her, like really bad. The way we would talk to one another made it very hot... but she's dead now, so is it wrong to look back on the sexy moments we had with "fond memories"?

      And what about Judy Garland from Wizard of Oz? That Dorothy dress she had on made her extremely fuckable. Is it wrong to wonder just what was under that skirt?

    • George and Steven are BUTTHOLES!!!

      11 years ago

      eli_riffkin

      19 YEARS!!!

      I've been waiting 19 years for the new Indiana Jones, and for what!!!?!?!?!?!

      Ok, technically I've been waiting for the 4th movie since I first heard they were going to make it, back in 1995. It was when they did the first rerelease of the original Star Wars Trilogy and a newspaper artical said that it was official, "Indiana Jones 4 to be Made!"
      And I was like, FUCK YEAH!!!
      Well when they say they're gonna make a movie, you expect it to come out in the next few years. 1 year to get everyone together to go over storyline, 1 year of photography and editing, and the following year is its release. So I figured the new movie would come out around 1998 or 1999. Well that was pushed back, with respect to Star Wars, the Special Editions and the Prequels. So the prequels ended and I eagerly awaited the new Indy movie. I bought the Trilogy pack and volumes 1, 2 and 3 of the Young Indiana Jones series. I even bought the Hat!

      I'm not gonna spoil the movie for those who inted to see it, but imagine the worst plot line to put into an Indy movie, and there it is. Don't get me wrong, it is a fun movie, and my expectations might have been aimed a little too high, but don't expect Indiana Jones 5 to be on the horizon. It just won't happen. In fact I won't see the movie again until DVD, and even then, I won't be in a rush to get it.

      Two things to consider when going to see Kingdom of the Crystal Skull...

      1. Get as High as you can before going to see it, and sit in the back so no one will hear you laugh. Don't get drunk, you'll scream profanity.
      2. Keep an opened mind while watching this movie, it's nothing at all like the first 3. Remember that Spielberg and Lucas are now in the business of producing for children, this is a kids movie now and must be viewed as one.

      That's the best advice I can give. If you are still hell bent on seeing it... Good Luck.

      I'm gonna cry now.

    • Blah blah... BIG DEAL!

      11 years ago

      eli_riffkin

      Turns out I offend people... I'm starting to care.

      If people can't find humor in what they love, then poo poo pee doo!

    • There once was a man from Nantuckette...

      11 years ago

      eli_riffkin

      Now I'm sure a total of 3 people will read this, and the first will be Emmerbuns. Love you, by the way.

      Anyways, I'm living in Austin Texas right now, and it's probably the best thing I've done in the 22 years I've lived in Texas. I'm now a full time Massage Therapist, I flipped off Home Depot on my way out, I'm up to page 27 in my comic, I'm up to Chapter 5 in my second book and I go tubing down the Guadalupe River every Tuesday. We call them Tubin Tuesdays.

      Things are going very well. No complaints.

      So for the 3 people who read this and are looking for something clever to say, I say this...

      Butthole, Ass Monkey, Dick Trickle, Taco Bender... There I said it. Tune in next year for more updated news on my life.


      M@

    • Gay Men!

      11 years ago

      eli_riffkin

      Amazing... I’ve found a sure-fire way to know if a man is gay or not. Just look at his feet. If it’s fucking cold as shit outside and he’s wearing "stylish" jeans that are torn at the seams, around the ankle, and he happens to have flip flops on, then he must love the cock in his ass.
      It’s true.
      Only gay men are the ones that wear flip flops with jeans as a style. And even some gay men think it’s stupid.

      Seriously, flip flops aren’t stylish, they don’t make you look cool. It makes as much sense as wanna be Gangstas wit-dem-retarded-mad-shit-props wearing their pants around their thighs. Or Cowboys wearing pants that are so tight, they have to peel them off when the day is done; Or Emo kids thinking it’s cool to wear 42 different layers of makeup; or Punks with hair in front of their faces and pants so baggy that it looks like a dress around each leg...

      Fucking lame!

      So as I said before, and I will not retract any of this, if you wear pink, flipflops, and you think it looks cool anywhere besides the beach...
      You’re a homo!

      Wearing that stuff is a gay beacon screaming that you need it up the ass.

      And pink on guys shouldn’t even be at the beach...



      Bitches!


    • Do NOT read. Completely Inappropriate!!

      12 years ago

      eli_riffkin

      Suck on my penis.
      I'm serious. I want you to take my penis, roll the head of it around in your mouth a little bit, be very careful not to drag your teeth since it's sensitive, flick your tongue on my urethra, stroke my shaft while sucking and be sure to swallow the juices that might happen to flow out.
      And after you're done, could you kiss it and tell my penis how much you love it? How much it means to you and how your life wouldn't be complete without it?

      My penis would be so happy and grateful if you would do that.

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