...illegal to kill your sister?
I think it is but still something I'm tempted to do. She's an interfering, selfish bitch who seems to be hurting so much that I feel so lonely. She is just like dad in so many ways.
Last week I looked after her son for almost the entire week without asking for anything for it except maybe looking after Lucy 1 day so I can do driving.
Anyway she asked for money instead, quite a lot actually which is funny because I knew it would happen as she bought herself an ps3 with money that wasn't really hers to begin with. So come Wednesday, I kindly asked for it back as she was being paid, not straight away but soon as as it was my food money. She asked if she could do shop for me and just write off the rest. I agreed so off I went to buy it and using various vouchers I managed to bring total done well below the money she lent. She argued that I overspent and was being selfish. (last time I lend her any money)
Now this weekend I invited them all over along with bf for some kind of games night and pizza. I've just found out that she is hosting a party tonight and have only invited my bf and not her sister. This has upset me quite a bit so much so that I've nearly cancelled tomorrow night. Came up with an excuse that I have study to do, which is true in some ways but can easy be finished by midday.
I think what it hurting me most it what they 'normally' talk about. My sister and I think her bf seem to be so fixated on breaking my relationship with my bf. In fact, I'm yet to hear from him that they spoke of anything good about me. Now how can he expect me to invite them over knowing that the night before they have bitched about me in so many negative ways??
I don't get it any more, how can I EVER be happy if no one wants to be around me especially my own sister?? What have I done so horribly wrong to everyone??
Let them have their fun, I'll get over it one day.
8 years agoevilkitten
...illegal to kill your sister?
8 years agoevilkitten
Haven't been around in ages but figured do a quick update of recent events.
Lucy is doing fine, growing up nicely. Potty training is going well and she is speaking better & better each day. She even starting to produce some humour with her speech, she can says lots of full sentences. She is getting very big and beautiful.
Sadly daddy still not getting involved, never asks how she is doing or sends a random gift but hey, his lost. Went to America in July and although he was more lively around her, whenever lucy need popular attention he would just get me to do it. Would never take her out alone so once again, can't get 5 minutes break without him barking orders. One big plus with being a pond away here in sunny Britian, don't have to hear him yelling =P
Plus side we has new place O.O
One big bedroom for me and a even bigger one for Lucy, woop!
Then a even bigger plus is I has new man ;-)
He is great around Lucy and even wants to pick up some responsbilities, which still shocks me because I am so used to being only me that does any of that stuff. So will get some getting used to.
Studies going great, passing all my courses with flying colours. Just started 2 more this October and will be picking up another in Feb so really excited. This time next year I will have a diploma, yey!!!
Anyways Hope your all keeping well, I certainly am. Now to start organising Halloween then the dreaded Christmas spirit hehe.
Take care xXx
9 years agoevilkitten
9 years agoevilkitten
I might just have found a place to live, just need to go visit the place and arrange all the monies side of things. It is semi close to people, no more than an hour away from family/friends.
I can't wait to be sleeping in my OWN room again and Lucy will finally have her own room.
So yeah, end of the month I will know by. Just before Christmas, what a bouns christmas present for us ^^
10 years agoevilkitten
Welll....life still sucks and I am still living with my dad. I know they are kind of getting sick of me but I am trying to move out. Just have to juggle it all and with the recession, jobs are far and few between so I'll work it out when Lucy gets ready for Nursery which is closer to 2 and half years old. Until then I am concentrating on completing my Degree and waiting for the 'very delayed' results which is now on the 24th August for my first module.
Lucy is as mad as ever and just recently had a new haircut and has a really loud personlity which I think is great. I am patiently waiting for the forever coming 8th tooth as it looks like it has been cutting since beginning of July. She got bigger but still a tiny little thing at 6-9month clothing and roughly 22lbs. No idea on height but might find out just for knowledge. Lucy seems to have an underbite at the moment but been told it can work itself out over time as it is only slight.
Got very ill in May and Lucy got the worst of it as she wouldn't eat anything for nearly two weeks. So got quite worried there and she lost a bit of weight but she all better and her smiley self. I had a night out without Lucy for a change and went to see Star terk with I think was pretty good and you just know they have another one lined up somewhere.
Been on holiday everywhere since middle June. Went to Blackpool for a week and saw the sealife. Enjoyed the sea views and emjoying the heat, we all got very hot.
Straight after Blackpool me and Lucy went to America to visit daddy and co. Wasn't the best experience but Lucy seem to enjoy herself and got very spoilt, yey. She got a big pile of clothes and toys with a nice wedge of cash so that has gone straight into her savings for future expense. I think we visited most if not everyone within Christopher's family and friends except for the odd few which Pat doesn't talk to or get along with. Lucy seem to feel awkward towards some of her chinese relatives which was a shame. It was good but was starting to feel homesick 4 days before I was due to fly out so was gald to get home. Flights were good but Lucy got really hot on one which was embrassing with staring faces as she was crying whilst we was taking off so it wasn't like I could 'get it sorted'
I Went to see the latest Harry Potter film and it wasn't too bad. Was a little confusing in places as it missed loads out but I guess you can't fit whole book into 2 and half hours O.O
We Went to Cardiff to visit some more relatives on my mum's side and they seem to love Lucy and my sister's son. I am glad we went as I hadn't seen that side of the family in a long time, 3 years at least.
Spent my birthday with Chloe, Rhys, Mum and her husband John. It was quite fun as me, Lucy, Rhys and Chloe went shopping together then had a meal at TGI Fridays, I love going there for a meal but it is always expensive so a nice treat. Got some books, a little fairy and a teddy from Lucy. Didn't get anything from my dad which I feel disappointed about as I always get him and his wife a birthday present no matter what
Anyways nothing exciting going on now and since coming home, I feel like it isn't home anymore which is why I really want to move out soon rather than later but here's hoping.
I hope you are all keeping well
10 years agoevilkitten
that is the question....
Nah! just been busy doing things just haven't found the right time to sit/relax and type.
- Counselling sessions are going very well at the moment, only got a couple left. Yet feel like I've made some progress. It is good to get it all out and she has even made me look at things in a different light. I've got this task I can do, in my own time, where I put what I did and rate them in how much I enjoyed them. Then as time goes on use them to help with self-care. In time it should help me look after myself better.
- The family group I am going to is closing down as the funding they get is coming to an end so no way to keep it open. I've been looking into alternatives as there is simliar groups that meet on tuesdays and wednesday. Some have waiting lists so going to look into that and see if I can go to a couple of them. Shame though, this family group has really helpped me become more socialable and Lucy has made some friends.Deciding whether or not to continue swimming on Thursday as nearer summer I am going away a few times to various place so will miss classes and therefore loose money. Yet I enjoy going so will have to decided after Easter before closing date.
- Lucy is almost ready for walking. She has taken a couple of steps here and there but she only started on Sunday so not expecting any confident walking yet. Though she has tackled the stairs pretty well. Takes a few seconds to get to the top and I know she can come down safely but she kind of refuses to most of the time. She has said a few words like hello, bye, ta after receiving something and cat and she knows what one is too so she is getting there. She can also say yes with the action after every question. Haven't had her weighed in a while but plan to on her birthday for 'just for record'. Lucy loves to play on the trampoline, loves to be bounced about by Casey and Conor. She is at that age where she learning and sussing things out. I find it interesting how she can push things into holes, work out how things work and it's hard to fool her. You can try to hide something but she will always know it is there.
- Speaking of Casey, she turned 3 on friday which is really weird. I can remember when she was born and it only seems like yeasterday. She got tons for her birthday. She also had a party last Saturday and quite a lot of people came so it was pretty fun. Though we completely forgot about pass-the-parcel and end up playing it ourselves, just for fun.
- What's been happening here? Not a great deal but it is definitely getting exciting. I met this guy called Alan and he is really sweet. He is 24 and he works for the British Transport Police. He has a son called Alex and he is brilliant with Lucy. We haven't gone very far with each other but it's just feels good at the moment. I will be meeting him next Monday which I am looking forward to. I feel like this will work and be good for each other. We spent so much time last night just talking and cuddling, i felt so comfortable around him which I haven't really felt like before with anymore one else. So...watch this space....who knows what will happen next.
- Going to be seeing Chris's dad on Monday as he hasn't seen Lucy yet and purposely made a stop over fight toward Bruma. Pat says he has a few things for Lucy so be interesting to see what he has got. I am getting my hair cut on Friday so really looking forward to that. I plan to get a multi-tone layered cut, something different that I've not had before. I hope it looks good but I am excited nevertheless.
There is probably a few things I've missed out but I hope you are all keeping well
10 years agoevilkitten
Lucy's Christianing was on Sunday and it was a brilliant service, went really well and ended beautiful when all the snow started coming down.
I even got Lucy a special nappy for the service :-
She wore a very nice silky dress with flower netting over the top with satin shoes and a white cradigan. She looked very pretty.
We all met at home first before we went went over to the church. During the service when the Godparents did their bit, Lucy just kept shaking her head no during the responses which was quite funny to watch. Shame we didn't record it but there again I don't have a working camera, just my mobile phone which isn't bad but not partical. Might buy one before end of the month as I get some of my money coming through.
Lucy got lots of water poured on her, none of this trickle stuff, just really wet. Lucy didn't care though, she let it happen. She got very restless after that so went to the back for her to play around a bit before she received her candle.
Then afterwards we said hi to the congregation and received some gifts from some people. Lucy received a wall alphabet picture, some pretty socks from someone called Irene. Lucy got a card from someone called Jacky and her daughter Jessica. Lucy also got a silver bubble contianer from my dad which had a teddy figure on top. Lucy got a silver baby bracelet from my nan. Lucy got a charm bracelet from Alice which she intends to add another charm each birthday for Lucy so by the time she wears it she will have loads. My mum is going to get her a small bible and my sister is getting her a baby cultery set which I look forward to.
When we got home we had something to eat and some cake. I just got the right amount which was good, I am glad we didn't run out, was worrying there for a minute
Anyways it was a good day and Alice said she will be back down to see Lucy for her Birthday in April. Sounds fun ^^
Hope you are doing ok out there ^^
10 years agoevilkitten
and I hope everyone is having a good one so far!
She's crawling and 'almost' standing by herself, very exciting. I wonder when she will take her first steps. Still no teeth but who needs teeth anyways, hehe. She has grown, she is finally into 3 - 6 clothing. She really loves to dance and playing with musical things.
She got tons for Christmas for her first. She got a teddy bigger than her from her father, a baby's first christmas teddy and clothes from auntie tiffany, some money and really gorgeous clothes from her grandparents and some more money from her great grandma so not bad from her relatives from America. O.O
From Our family, well she got a lot . She got a from Chloe a grobag, from my dad a tumble tortoise pullalong but I end up with two of them and swapped it with one of Rhys's new toys but nothing to swap with so Chloe going to get her something at some point. My mum got her loads, she got her some clothes, a makka pakka from 'In the Night Garden', a tumble tortoise XD, a wooden puzzle, a leapfrog baby. From me she got an inflatable ball which has three little balls in it, a toy boat set for the bath and sit-and-stand giraffe. Rest of the family got her noisy phone, small wooden puzzles from her great Nan, a Pooh bear from Auntie Lesley, a silver brush and first curl box from Auntie Kim and Auntie Tony got her a In the Night Garden DVD.
As you know I go to this family group and apparently people have been donating toys for christmas so Lucy got loads from there too... she got, Juice cup, Pooh bear, beanie ferret, star bunny, duck toy for bath, farm musical toy, wooden book, turtle puzzle, alphabet foam mat, wooden rattle, soft book about christmas and egg box sorting. So yeah, she got lots from Christmas. A couple of booksWhat I did with the money from America is I brought some clothes, a new nappy and a soft toy then put Ã‚Â£100 in her savings account. The rest I am putting towards a new camera, I have one in mind. Alice also got her a book and mitten for the bath.
Christmas was great and we all loved it, Lucy apppeared to enjoy herself even though she had no idea what was going on. Me and Chloe did really well considering we never cooked turkey before. She got a silly gift which is called knitwit from mismatched. My mum got me a a laptop bag and a Little Hetty novelty gift. My dad got me a clock and pyjamas and I got a tolietries gift from Lesley. I got a giftcard from my nan.
Not hella of a lot happen during december except that I went to my first conuselling session which was good and next is on Tuesday. Also getting some pictures done next wednesday and see the health visitor next friday so should be good.
Hopefully I should have my own place by the summer as my stepmother would like to rent out her old place properly and I am looking so should be good ^^.
My desktop is finally connected, my dad sorted out the phone box and now we put the hub into it which is next to my computer so yey!!!!! Now I can played my hardcore games. suggestions anyone???
I will soon be writing all my journals on here into a small notebook as I keep thinking what if in 50 years time I want to read back and this site is no longer here (dread to think) but just don't want to lose something that I wish I wrote down. I did once upon a time write a diary but then discovered the internet O.O
Anyways hope all is well out there ^^
Last thought:- ''There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.'' --Too true, I wish I was a child again, waking up early and believing in santa clause ='(
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