What do you guys think of the new series? I find it absolutely hilarious to be honest.
7 years agofpsbcheezit
PETA are all a bunch of fucking cunts. Seriously, they are all a bunch of the biggest idiots I've ever seen. Not only are they judgmental pieces of garbage they also have the most incoherent message on the fucking planet. You talk about organizations that would be better off non-existent, this is one of them. I'm all for protecting animals, but this is FUCKING ridiculous. Why is it NOW they are choosing to do this? There was a Tanooki suit in Super Mario Bros 3, and that game is 21 years old. What a bunch of fucking idiots.
7 years agofpsbcheezit
Joel's the thing
Brandon: Hey, Chris.
Chris: Yeah Brandon?
Brandon: Have you noticed anything 'weird' lately?
Chris: Apart from Gus' mood-swings? No, not really. Why?
Brandon: Well (Brandon lurches down near Chris' head) lately I've been seeing some pretty strange things around the office.
Chris: Like what?
Brandon: Last week I noticed that Joel had been appearing out of now where.
Chris: How do you mean?
Brandon: I saw him enter the bathroom.
Chris: What's so weird about that?
Brandon: Well, the thing is: I never saw him leave that bathroom and all of a sudden he was literally standing right behind me.
Chris: So what? That's just Joel being Joel.
Brandon: That's the thing. It's like there's too many Joels being Joel.
Chris: Alright Brandon, now you're seriously creeping me the fuck out.
Brandon: Just follow me on this.
Brandon: What if Joel is really an Alien from another planet?
Chris: Yeah, Brandon 2.0 is really creeping me out.
Brandon: What if Joel has been devouring our friends and assimilating them to do his own bidding.
Chris: (Looking confused)
Brandon: Don't you see it?
Chris: No, because I'm not fucking insane!
Brandon: Perhaps Joel has somehow turned our co-workers: our friends, into himself!
I think he has been making everyone center their works around him... brainwashing our community into thinking he's some sort of saint. Inserting subliminal messages into all of our videos. He's been eliminating our friends Goeff; Gus; Burnie -- even Jack and using them to create content to further his quest for universal domination! I think he's also using the stock market to fund his operation.
Chris: Okay, now you're being silly.
Brandon: Right... maybe not Jack.
Jack: Did you guys say my name?
Brandon: Get the hell out of here.
Chris: So what do you propose we do about this? I mean, we can't just confront Joel.
Brandon: We're going to have to figure out who he has infected.
Chris: Hm... I think I have an idea. We could do blood tests or something.
Brandon: I've got a better idea. (Shouting) Hey Joel!
Geoff: I'm Joel!
Nathan: Did someone say my name?)
Chris: Shit, Brandon, I think you're right.
Brandon: We need to get out of here, NOW!
Joel: Hey guys.
Chris and Brandon: Oh... hey... Joel.
Joel: What are you guys doing?
Brandon: Oh... you know. Just talking about how great you are.
Chris: Yeah, Joel – we can't get over how awesome you are.
Joel: I heard you guys talking about me.
Brandon: (Awkwardly) Uh... I don't know what you're talking about.
Joel: (Closing in along with the rest of the Joels) I'm not going to let you guys screw this up for me.
Brandon: Chris, RUN!
Quickly running the two storm down the stairs running towards the entrance to the offices only to be intercepted by Kara.
Kara: Where do you think you guys are going?
Brandon: You're not one of them are you?
Kara: One of who?
Chris: (Asking Kara) Hey Joel.
Kara: (laughs) Okay you guys, go have fun.
(They proceed to dart out the door. With the Joel army shortly behind.)
Kara: Hey guys. Where are you going?
Joel: Uh... going to go kill Chris and Brandon.
Kara: Have fun!
(Chris and Brandon regroup shortly down the road from the army.)
Chris: (huffing) Jesus... I... think... we... need... to call... the police.
Brandon: What are we going to tell them? “ Hi, we make videos for the internet and our friend is an alien.
Chris: Good point.
Chris: Wait a minute... isn't Joel into the economy?
Brandon: Yeah? But what are stocks going to help us with?
Chris: Just follow behind me.
(The Joel army, being Joel is not very attentive or motivated has resumed operations at the office)
Geoff: What do you want this time?
(Gus doesn't respond and is passed out on the floor with a bottle of tequila)
Nathan: Oh fuck you guys.
Chris: Not you guys, the real Joel.
Joel abruptly appearing behind the two.
Brandon: (screams) I told you he does that!
Chris: Joel, we're here to stop you!
Joel: And how do you plan on doing this?
Chris: Oh, didn't you hear?
Chris: The stock prices for gold are dropping at an alarming rate.
Brandon: Ugh (voice cracking) yeah! They're going down.
Joel: What? No way!
Chris: Yeah. It's all over the internet. MSNBC; Fox News; even The Onion.
Joel: I can't believe this! For over two thousand years I've been preparing to take over this pitiful planet but now... (screaming) I'M GOING TO KILL YOU BOTH!
Chris: Brandon, NOW!
(Brandon whips out his iphone which has the plummeting stock prices present)
(Joel is repelled along with the army, regressing back into their true form. Pongo).
Brandon turns and faces Chris.
Brandon: Chris, we did it!
Chris: Now I must destroy you.
Chris pulls out a handgun and points it at Brandon's face.
Chris: You're about to become, Brandon 2.No-more.
(Chris pulls the trigger causing Brandon to awake from a nightmare)
Brandon: (Gasping for breath) Jesus!
Burnie: What the hell are you doing Brandon?
Brandon: Burnie! I had the craziest dream. Joel was an Alien and he was attempting to take over the planet! (Pointing to Geoff) You were there (Pointing to Gus) and you were there (pointing to Burnie) and you were there!
Burnie: Right... just so you know insanity isn't covered by our companies health plan. Now get back to work.
(The Camera pans across the office to the front of a gap in the bathroom door. Just before the short ends a shot of Pongo can be seen along with him laughing.)
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