from Oklahoma City, OK

  • Activity

    • Sine I know that nobody reads this...

      9 years ago


      I have chosen to make this my one stop place to vent everything that goes on in my life. So if some one is even reading this be warned, you wont like what you hear.
      I feel that my life has become a load of disapointments. I have no freinds, no family and no one who will go out of there way to even see who I really am and what I stand for. My best friend has abandoned me, the girl I love has left me, the girl who I want to be with now has chosen to completely deny anything that she has admitted, and my family goes on and on about everyone but me. All of my "Freinds" dont even like me and they just tolerate me. I was diagnosed with depression a few months ago and It has really gotten to me. Not a day goes by that I dont think about suicide and how it would free me from all my pain and suffering. Its even ironic. Some one I know was talking to me one day and said that he does not understand depressed people and how they dont want to live. He said that if some one thinks theya re worthless enough to not be alive then they should kill themselves and save everyone around them the trouble of having to carry them on in life. I got to thinking about this and in closer examination of my surroundings have realized that this is how people feel about me. they dont want me around and Im just a big pain to them. I have put my family in debt and we suffer greatly from it.
      Now, the girl I like, and I will not say her name in case she reads this, has opened up to me and said she likes me, but when I try to be near her and let her know how I feel tward her, she pushes me away as if she doesnt want to be with me. sometimes I wonder if she said this just to make me feel better. Sometimes I wonder if she ven knows a litle bit of how I feel toward her. Shes 14 and im 17 but I dont understand why we cant be together. Everyone around us wants it to happen but, lets face it, it wont happen. she will never want to be with a uncool, low life, shitty boyfriend. But thats all I have today. to everyone who falsifies themselves with me, FUCK YOU!

    • my thoughts exactly

      10 years ago


      Im sitting here saying fuck you and all you hear is bla bla bla. really man? FUCK YOU! I dont like you. do you understand yet?... no? YOU MOTHER FUCKIN FUCKER!!!!! FUCK YOU ASS HOLE!

    • what the fuck dude...

      10 years ago


      I cant believe you looked at this journal just to see what the fuck was up. your all a bunch of dumbasses. well, you came all this way I might just give you something to read. but i dont know. I like torchering people. brings... happiness to the heart. tired yet? dont give up, your almost there... just a few more words. want to know your fortune for the day? well, too bad cuz I aint telling. HA! you shoulda seen the pissed off face you just made. it was priceless. I guess you really dont want to read any further do you? well you can leave now but then you will never know what this whole things is really about. or do you even want to know. I really dont care becuase it has nothing to do with me. ok, you ready? here you go. your a chicken fucker. wow, you look really pissed. you read all this just to see me call you a chicken fucker. thats awsome. I guess you can stop reading now. Im going to stop typing.

    • Ive got a feeling...

      10 years ago


      and it aint a good one.

    • damn my memory!!!

      10 years ago


      I wrote a song in my head and then sudenly it disapeared. I guess thats what you get from blood loss. Damn you bad memory!!! DAMN YOU!!!!!!!!

    • Im bored... just read if you care...

      10 years ago


      These are my own answers.

      Rules: Copy the questions below. Post them in a journal and answer them.

      What was the single most important invention in the last 50 years?

      bungie studios

      If you had to sleep with one of your coworkers, who would it be?

      my GF

      If Roosterteeth was a reality TV show who would you vote off?

      the computer... he really dragged the rest of the people down...

      If you could meet anyone, alive or dead who would it be and why?

      Hitler to let him no what he did wrong

      What's your favorite pick up line?

      I dont have any. I just be myself to whomever

      What were your favorite subjects in school?

      math and english

      What's your greatest achievement?

      to be alive today

      What's the worst thing you've ever done?

      Im not saying

      If you could be anyone else who would you be and why?

      I would turn into myself

      What are you most afraid of?

      losing any of the four people I love

      What is your greatest strength?

      Im very strong willed

      What is your biggest pet peeve?

      manners toward women

      When was the last time you cried?

      just yesterday morning. I had a horrible thought....

      Where do we go when we die?

      heaven or hell, its up to you

      Which celebrity do you identify with most?

      Jim Cerry

      When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

      in the military or a fighter

      How do you get into the creative mood?

      my music

      If you could have anything you wanted, what would it be?

      For her to be happy...

      What is your main goal in life?

      to stay alive and prosper

      What is your greatest flaw?

      me being strong willed

      What kind of old person will you be?

      the kind you should be scared of cuz I will kick your ass if you piss me off

      If you had a theme song what would it be?


      How do you relax?

      Thinking of where I ant to be if Im not there already

      What is something not many people know about you?

      Ive run away from home before... and I'll do it again if I have to...

      Do you have any hobbies?

      day dreaming. I do that alot now...

      What's your sign?

      a stop sign.

      What's the closest you've ever come to dying?

      when I was nine months old I nearly died of a mold allergy

      Did you have any nicknames in school?

      alot, most of wich im not going to say

      What's your most embarrassing memory?

      aint saying

      What's your biggest weakness?

      my stupidity and lack of attention

      What parental advice were you given most as a kid?

      not much

      Do you have any guilty pleasures?

      everyone does

      Do you have any regrets?


      Do you have any recurring dreams?

      yes and I dont like them

      Who are your heroes?

      right now no one. I dont care for heroes

      Who do you hate most in the office?

      not many people in the office. the only full time worker would be me so I dont think I hate me.

      What's your favorite drink?

      aint saying

      If you could kill anyone without fear of reprisal who would it be?

      my father.

      Which guy in the office would make the hottest chick?

      dude, definantly me! FTWLOL

      What's your dream job?

      full time street fighter

      What's the worst job you've ever had?

      being a son to a father

      Is there anything you cant live without?

      yes but I'm trying to right now... and its pretty damn hard

      What's the best advice you've ever been given?

      "just keep going on. if something stands in your way cut it down and move on." my advice to me

      What's the worst advice you've ever been given?

      "Dude, just date her. I promise you wont regret it." Skyler

    • take this!

      10 years ago


      five bucks says no one cares about me. If I dont hear from anyone by this friday, I will know its true.

    • Mothers day

      10 years ago


      happy fucking mothers day! hope its a happy day for all yall cock sucking ass lickers!

    • Hey!

      10 years ago


      I love cookies bitch!

    • ...

      10 years ago



      hope your has been as misserable and depressing as mine

  • Comments (15)

    • gitrdone5547

      10 years ago


    • gothmasscre

      10 years ago


    • gitrdone5547

      10 years ago

      sorry? I've had alot going on lately.

    • gothmasscre

      10 years ago

      grry we dont talk anymore


      10 years ago



      10 years ago

      Uh... good for you?


      10 years ago

      Hey do you think we can get a shoot in this weekend if I have yall over?

    • Draculafreak

      11 years ago

      Oh dear god, you're on. What's the occasion?

    • Draculafreak

      12 years ago

      What's up?

    • crystal_drag

      12 years ago

      keep an eye on my journal
      ill start it soon

    • crystal_drag

      12 years ago

      and make a comment!
      i wnt to know who all has red it

    • crystal_drag

      12 years ago

      hi there
      read new journal

    • lisabet14238

      12 years ago


    • NecroMedic FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      12 years ago


    • NecroMedic FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      12 years ago

      welcome to the site i hope you have fun

  • Questions

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