from Manhattan, NY

  • Activity

    • The Wrong Guy.

      13 years ago


      I got bored so I thought I'd post some quotes from the greatest movie in the history of the fucking universe, The Wrong Guy:

      Creepy Guy: Know how many assassins it took to kill JFK?
      Nelson Hibbert: One?
      Creepy Guy: Nope. There were no gunmen at all. His head just did that.

      The Killer: You're awake?
      Nelson Hibbert: Yeah, for a while now.
      The Killer: I've been carrying you!
      Nelson Hibbert: I thought you wanted to.

      Nelson Hibbert: My name is Jones... Enema Bag Jones.

      Nelson Hibbert: What kind of a man has a favorite daughter?
      Mr. Nagel: Now, moving along -
      Nelson Hibbert: And if you do have a favorite then you should label them! Favorite and not favorite!

      Nelson Hibbert: Well, it looks like secret agent... ten... of that elite thing you were talking about has finally met his match.

    • Walker told me I have AIDS.

      13 years ago



      (P.S.: ^ That's a link. You should click it.)

    • I have come to a realization.

      13 years ago


      Alright. So. Remember the seventh grade?
      Social Studies with Mr. Bruinix?...

      Well. You know what I realized today.
      We did not do ANYTHING in that class.
      It seemed like we did.
      But we DIDN'T.

      We watched movies.
      We watched Glory on Civil War Day.
      We watched The Last of the Mohicans at the end of the year, I think.
      We watched Ghosts of Gettysburg. A lot. For no reason.
      We watched a movie that had George Washington in it.
      Not the real George Washington. It was an actor.

      We did Civil War Day.
      We did preperations for Civil War Day.
      We learned military marches.
      We sang. A lot.
      We did pointless projects.
      Like resumes.
      I believe they may have been for Civil War Day.
      We did those advertisement things in class.
      Those ones... Where we had to sing.
      We went to Genesee Country Museum.

      But only occasionally were these things interrupted by learning.
      Only occasionally.

      Yeah. It's true.

    • I am a massive internet whore.

      13 years ago


      So I have a livejournal now.
      And sometimes I post things in it.
      Hot things.
      Things that are too hot for you to touch.
      Because if you touch them you might burn your hands from all the freakin' heat.
      But they aren't just ordinary things.
      They're fucking crazy ass things.
      Things that deserve praise and love.
      No, they're not life updates or any of that.
      They're just really freakin' hot and disturbing things that I do sometimes.
      You know. Like Glory: An Illustrated Interpretation.
      That bitch was hot.
      Don't deny it.
      Cause it was.
      In fact, it was too hot to touch.
      Because if you ever touched it you'd burn your freakin' hands from all the heat.
      That's how hot it was.
      So hot that if you had sex with it you might get AIDS.
      Because of all the people it's had sex with.
      You know. Because it's so hot.
      It has a lot of STD's.
      Because sometimes condoms don't work so well.
      It's not like it was going around having unprotected sex.
      I mean, did you SEE all the condoms that bitch had?
      It's not dumb, it knows to use protection.
      It's just that sometimes condoms don't always work.
      It's not their fault, really.
      They were born that way.

      But yeah. Go to that puppy. And comment on it. I don't care if you've already commented on the crap posted in it somewhere else. I need to feel freakin' LOVED.

    • January 1979

      13 years ago


      January, 1979, Saw a terrible crash (and couldn't help but laugh)
      As my ear pressed against the past like a glass on the wall of a house in a photograph
      My forehead no longer sweet with holy kisses worthy of your fiery lips
      I was floating in a peaceful sea, 'rescued' by a sinking ship,

      If I could become the servant of all - no lower place to fall...

      You watched me like a ten car highway wreck with detached, vulgar curiosity
      This looking down at the tops of the hats of us passers-by from your seventh floor balcony...
      From such a height you missed creatures too small for sight carry on covert conversations
      And the misguided insects crowned me their grasshopper king with a dance of celebration!

      After years with a crown on my head, grown overfed, unconcerned, and comfortably numb
      Kept busy indulging in the pleasures of the wealthy (Someone make me afraid of what I've become!)
      At the first sign of possible trouble I turned my heels and ran (Oh, I'll never learn)
      My life is a cup of sugar I borrowed before time began and forgot to return,

      It was a matter of time - I always said I could see, so now I'm going blind
      It was a matter of miserable time - But I heard somewhere there was a cure for useless eyes?


      Uhm. MewithoutYou are my brand new lovahhhs.
      Just... don't tell Mellowdrone?

    • EW.

      13 years ago


      Today is the worst fucking day in the history of the universe, and it's only 8:14.
      It had better get better.

      Mother woke me up at 6:30, just like she always does. Only the difference this time was that I was actually sleep. Pretty fucking well, too, might I add. But I had to get up and go to school even though it's really fucking horrible out and yesterday on the announcements they said something like "unless school is cancelled tomorrow due to weather," which was a really awful thing to say because we all knew they wouldn't cancel school because they don't care about whether or not we die... But they teased us anyway, and that just got my fucking hopes up even though I knew they wouldn't be cancelling school, so when I had to get up this morning I just felt ten times worse. Not to mention that I'm pretty sure I'm getting sick again, so, you know, that didn't help anything. But I get ready anyway, even though I'm miserable, and when I'm done I go out and sit in the car. I roll down the drivers side window to see if I can get the snow off. It's a sheet of ice. So I roll it back up and wait some more. Mother takes a few minutes, "brushes" off the windows, and gets in the car. Well, guess fucking what. The car is stuck in the driveway. Insert about ten to fifteen minutes of trying to get it unstuck. And then we're off. I arrive at school about 7:33, so I can't go to my locker or anything... And that's just the beginning of the day. I can't wait for the rest... (note the sarcasm..)

      Is it just me, or when the majority of the fucking student body is late to school then maybe that should say something? Like maybe we shouldn't be at school today because it's terrible out? Yeah. I think it should.


      13 years ago


      Unfortunately, using that as my subject line probably means that I'll have that song stuck in my head for the rest of the night, but it's a small price to pay, my friends.

      ANYhoo. I'm working on my chemistry ornament right now. It's very terrible. BUT I DID put Duran Duran all up on it. Why? Uhm. Because I'm radical.

      I hope school gets cancelled. It won't, I don't know why I'm even bothering getting my hopes up. But I just do.

      Also. I'm sad. Mellowdrone's first album's release date got pushed back until March 7. That makes me sad.

      I'm leaving now. I have crap to do. Toodles.

    • Your brains vs. My tractorbeam.

      13 years ago


      You know what I did last night?! I hit up Barnes and Noble/Target/CVS/Tops with my MOMMA! Jealous?! You know you are.

      But in Target... I was pretty upset due to the lack of Judaism. But then, you know, I looked a little harder, and BAM! There were, like, three packages of cards. And I sort of bought one. So, now I have 28 Hanukkah cards to randomly throw out there at you crazy cool cats. I'll probably mail one to Ashley. And also Staci. AND I got a gift box shaped as the star of David and I was all like "HELLS YEAH!" and bought that bitch, too. And then my mommy picked up a gift for mah G-Ma, and some employee fellow decided to help her take it to the van. Because it was really freakin' large. And I was all up in the vehicle before they got there, so I was kind of sorta rocking out to Mellowdrone. WELL, Mr. Employee fellow asked my mom if I was listening to Coldplay. And I was sitting there like, No, Bitch. It's MELLOWDRONE. Yeah. It was a good story.

      Then, you know, we went to CVS (by the way, nothing significant went down in Barnes and Noble. Therefore I'm not posting of it). And I Want To Know What Love Is came on. And I was pretty much rocking the fuck out. And then I wanted to buy some HANUKKAH GIFT WRAP. But mom was like "No. We don't need that." And I was like "Uhm. Yeah. I do." But she was all "No." So we left.

      Then we went to TOPS!! And mommy taught me how to operate the weighing machines and then we bought some chocolate gold coins for DREIDEL!! Now all I need is for Rachel to come through with that freakin' dreidel that doesn't sing. Because mine... sings. And it gets on my nerves after a while.

      But yeah. That's all, beeeetch. Accept it.


      13 years ago


      Yeah. So. It's up to you non-Jewish folks to figure out for yourselves what the subject line means.

      English homework is stupid. Especially when the instructions were vague.
      School is stupid. Especially when I have to go to it.
      Christmas is stupid on account of it intends to ruin Hanukkah.
      People dressed as Santa outside stores should stop.
      Especially when they talk to you.
      And wish you a Merry Christmas.
      Yo, Santa. I'm Jewish.
      Yo, Santa. Their holiday isn't even about you.
      Remember that Jesus guy?
      It's about him.
      Get the fuck over it.
      You're scary anyway.
      And seriously. Why so fat?
      Your wife doesn't love you.
      It's a Christmas tree. Not a "Holiday" tree.
      Why's that?
      Because there aren't Hanukkah trees.
      There aren't Kwanzaa trees.
      It's a Christian practice.
      For a Christian holiday.
      Called Christmas.
      Hence the reason it's called a "Christmas Tree."
      Uhm. Duh.
      Christianity is a little too commercial for me now.
      Seriously. What the hell?
      What's with Santa?
      Or the Easter bunny?
      What happened to religious meaning?
      Even Jesus is starring in movies...
      About Jesus...
      He was ours first.
      So. Uhm. Yeah.

      I don't like December.
      I don't like "The Holidays"
      I don't like homework.



      P.S.: Ikh hob dikh lib. <333(look that up, too.)

    • I don't like malls. :(

      13 years ago


      Yeah. So. Today... involved an outing with the sister to various places that I didn't really want to go to in the first place. One of these places was Eastview Mall. It was not pleasant.

      I do not like malls. I especially dislike them during December. When stupid people are out doing their stupid shopping for the stupid fucking holidays. Too many people for my comfort. But I sure bought some From First To Last in FYE. So that was okay.

      Also. We (well, me...) went to Tops. And I bought myself some SEXUAL Hanukkah cards because I'm such a cool Jewish kid. And I tried to get some gold chocolate coins to play a heated round of dreidel, but it turns out that I, despite the fact that I am indeed a cool Jewish kid, do not know how to operate the weighing machine... things. It is one of my few flaws. But yeah. That was a no-go. But I sure bought those Hanukkah cards! And that was pretty exciting! And I intend to force me mum to take me to Tops sometime in the near future and have her operate those weighing machine... things for me. I bet you're freakin' excited. I know I sure am.

      And now I'm groovin' to some keen Say Hi To Your Mom. Yeah. You're jealous.

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