jamesbondage

Male
from Covington louisiana

  • Activity

    • 4 Rizzle

      12 years ago

      jamesbondage

      You must die I alone am best!

      I hope ya flip some guy the bird
      He cuts you off and youre forced to swerve
      In front of the beatles tour bus
      A bookmobile and a mack truck
      Hauling hazardous biological waste
      The light turns red you have no brakes
      And hard copy gets it all on tape
      So you can see the look on your face


      I hope your pinto begins to spin
      Takes out a disabled vietnam veteran
      Mows down a nobel peace prize winner
      And maybe some orphans having christmas dinner
      Perhaps even the british royal family
      And the rabbi thats clutching the bottle-fed puppy
      And we cant forget the newlyweds
      And those jerrys kids are as good as dead

      I hope this helps to emphasize
      I hope this helps to clarify
      I hope you die

      I hope your cellmate thinks hes god
      But c.n.n. refer to him as bowling ball bag bob
      Serving time again for abuse of a corpse
      Only this time the victims a clydesdale horse
      While he masturbates to photos of livestock
      He does the silence of the lambs dance to christian rock
      Eats feces and quotes from deliverance
      And fights with his imaginary playmate vince


      I hope he grins like jack nicholson
      And forces you to play a game called balls on chin
      And whatever happens next is all a blur
      But you remember fist can be a verb
      And when you finally regain consciousness
      Youre bound and gagged in a wedding dress
      And the prison guard looks the other way
      cause hes the guy ya flipped the bird the other day

      I hope this helps to emphasize
      I hope this helps to clarify
      I hope you die

    • U know u could catch something like dat?

      12 years ago

      jamesbondage

      You got a big mall, going on over there. The galleria there, holy shit! I went over to the mall I had to park nearby in a...in the parking structure. You know when you park you the parking structure you...you go up on and it's like 40 stories and you always to park up on the fuckin' roof. What do they pave that with, what is that not concrete what ever that's paved with you could be driving five miles an hour it sound like your in a chase scene from Chips is like errrrrrrrrgggghhhhhhh! I'm backing up! Errrrrrrrrgggghhhhhhh! What the fuck is that! You go sneakers on you try to walk in errrrrrrrrgggghhhhhh! Where's the door! Errrrrrrrrgggghhhhhhh! {CLAPPING} ERGH! ERGH! Keep it going for that joke, keep it going, it's the first of many. [1]
      Then get this, right, I'm driving along, man, I'm driving, and as I'm driving, I'm driving safely. I'm obeying all the rules of the road. Whatever sign comes at me, I look at it and I go, "Okay. You got it, sign." Right, so I'm driving safely. All of a sudden, a guy in another lane-completely oblivious to me- he starts coming into my lane, just comin' IN!! And if I didn't see him comin' in, accident! But because I saw him, uhhh, I see--"HEY!" Right? I see- I assess the situation. I see- I assess the situa-shon. And then I eased on the brakes, as he's coming, I eased, and I said what anybody here says automatically when this is happening, you can't help it. It just comes out. Ready? Ready? "Umm, helllllo? Um, hi? Hello?" Unless you're black, then it's "Check out this motha-fucka! Check out this motha-FUCKA!!" If you're Chinese, it's "ERRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH *CRASH*" [2]
      Did you see that clip they were showing the other day on ESPN? It was like the best, crazy accidents or something. They showed this one clip, man. If you saw this it was nuts! The 2 cars go around the corner and they catch each other, they start to roll. The tire flies into the stands and hits a woman in the FACE! When you first saw it you were like "OOOOOOOOOOOHHHH!! The tire just hit that woman in the FACE! Oh good they're showing it again... look, look. Look at this right here, slow it down. Yeah that's when it hits her in the FACE." And the funny thing is everybody around the lady dove out of there but she just sat there. You see everyone dives and then at the last minute as the tire is rocketing at her face, this is her defense, she goes, "OOOOH Baby ". Like she's just gonna get in a slap fight with a Goodyear. What if she palms it... BOOOM... AHH... AHHHHH... THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE HIGHLANDER! TIRES CANNOT DEFEAT ME! Hehe, "How did Mary die?" "A tire hit her in the face!" You can't say that without laughing. "A tire hit her--" I can't even do it now! "A tire...hit her in the face.' 'Well what was she doing putting her face near tires?" "No, this tire hunted Mary down. This tire murdered Mary. This tire wasn't fucking around, as we like to say." [3]
      Who gets killed by bees? Anytime they come on the news and say "Um, yeah, a man was killed in Austin by bees." I just fucking laugh. How do you get killed by bees? If you're walking through the woods right and you come near a bush and you hear 'bbbbzzzbbzz' just you know... just run away from that bush. Who's going by that bush going, "Hey is that bees? Hold on on second, ohhh jeez!" Dude, fuck that. I would punch every bee in the face! Bees are not taking me out. I be like "Oh yeah? Fuck you bee! Come on! Yah bzzz. Where's the next bee at?" It's a fuckin' bee. I could understand killer horses... that's scary sh**... flying through the air and kicking you in the face. That's scary. FUCK bees. FUCK bees. [4]
      No one wants to drown. drowning would be the worst, 'cause everyone knows that feeling. That feeling that you get, Oh it’s the worst. When you think you're drowning. like during the summer, You're like at a pool party or something. "I'm gonna go into the deep end. Watch my dive. Watch my dive."Right, then you dive in. *SPLASH* And the second you get to the bottom your like, "GET ME OUTTA HEEEERE!! WHERES THE SURFACE?!!"And you always come up under the kid on the raft. "UOAHHH!! Jesus Christ Timmy! Do not float above me when I'm Dying in the Abyss! Your son almost killed me with his, Uhhhh, Daffy Duck raft over here John. Your son tried to murder me in your pool. Float away for me. Float away." Fire. Has anyone here ever been fully engulfed in fire? Its gotta be soo hot. That is way to fucking hot. Its the worst feeling when you burn yourself too. You know, sometimes you're making some soup or some oodles of noodles or something; Or you're cooking up some crack. And you know, You touch the side of the pot. Just that little*TSSSS* "WOAH!!" That, Fucking kills!! That little thing, you can't take a shower for like three weeks. You gotta like hold your hand out cause the steam makes you angry. You try to bring your hand in, "OOOOOO! I HATE STEAM! WHOEVER INVENTED STEAM SUCKS!" You know what would be the worst? This would be the ultimate worst right here. What if you dove into the pool, and while you were at the bottom of the pool freaking out, somebody poured oil on the surface and lit it on fire! Yeah then you're like, "AHHHHHH!" You gotta just keep swimming around, feeling for a spot where theres no fucking fire. Then, What if you found a circle where there was no fire, but the second you came up a big dude just punched you in the face "Get back in the fiery water! You don't come out of the fiery water, cover up that hole with some fire now!Get back in the fiery water!!!!!

    • ya know what they say

      12 years ago

      jamesbondage

      girlz have a button and boyz have a pole if yer not careful wicked touching takes its toll

    • this izn't really a journal

      12 years ago

      jamesbondage

      I juz needed somewhere 2 put this



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      </embed><br />
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    • itz my birthday YAY

      12 years ago

      jamesbondage

      go Bdayz everywhere but fuck deem becuz itz mine so as apoused 2 people who get modz 4 there Bday I'm going 2 give them away leave a comment on my journal recieve a mod point maybe more if I like it muahahahaha

    • happy hangover day

      12 years ago

      jamesbondage

      10 modz 2 anyone that can guess what I drank 4 good Saint Patrick this year heres a hint it might have had alcohol in it.....juz maybe lol

    • shit that will get u suspended at school

      12 years ago

      jamesbondage

      Okay this iz a list of things u should never shout out in school
      DARKNESS EVIL BLACKMAGIK NIGGUHZ
      WHO WANTS 2 C MY PENIS
      MICHEAL JACKSON RAPED ME
      WHAT?
      OKAY
      YEAH
      GET CRUNK
      DOES ANYBODY HAVE A CONDOM MINE JUST BROKE
      SMELLS LIKE VIRGIN ASS
      U'VE GOT PRETTY HAIR LIL BOY
      I NEED 2 MAKE POOPIE
      DAMN I'M ALL STICKY NOW
      I GAVE HER A PEARL NECKLACE THAN I TOOK IT BACK
      WHO WANTS 2 FUCK MY GIRLFRIEND
      AND NEVER START SHOUTING IF U SCARED NIGGA GO 2 CHURCH!!!!

    • Stay Black....

      12 years ago

      jamesbondage

      Jesus was nailed up on the cross. The crowds were all around him. From on the cross Jesus cries out "John..."

      John, hearing this, rushes up to his Lord. Before he can get close a Centurion grabs him and cuts off his right foot and throws him back in the crowd.

      Again Jesus cries out "John..."

      John again fights his way throughout the crowd. The Centurion grabs him and cuts off his left foot and throws him back.

      Jesus cries out yet again "John..."

      John drags himself through the crowd with his hands only to meet the same Centurion who cuts of his right hand and throws him back into the crowd.

      "John..."

      John manages to crawl through the crowd pulling himself along the ground by his left and manages to sneak past the Centurion this time. He drags himself over to the cross and looks up at his Master and says "I am here my Lord. What is it?"

      Jesus says "John... I can see your house from up here."

  • Comments (405)

    • El_Weegro

      12 years ago

      the desk where he sits in the movie i think
      in his mansion

      Post edited 1/06/07 3:20PM

    • El_Weegro

      12 years ago

      u gotta go to your desk

    • El_Weegro

      12 years ago

      dethklok wit a k

    • El_Weegro

      12 years ago

      i dont know if its better than mine cuz nuthing beats metal and i only listen to like 1 song from MCR and AFI i gave up punk and emo in the 8th grade and Dethklok is awsome there so good iv got black ppl to say there good XD

    • El_Weegro

      12 years ago

      then u dont listen to good muzik

    • El_Weegro

      12 years ago

      yea i did

    • damonix

      12 years ago

      hell yeah!
      i think its hilarious when sombody calls somebody else a bitch and they fucking FLIP out.......
      you call me a bitch and id be all like
      "yeah! well at least im a bitch"
      lol ppl cant come back from shit like that

    • damonix

      12 years ago

      not to sure anymore
      most of my conversations end up with somebody getting hurt over something neither of us know what we are arguing about

    • damonix

      12 years ago

      im irish somehwere in me
      also not all alcohol tastes bad

    • damonix

      12 years ago

      *cries*
      tequila tastes so bad
      but i drink it like crazy

    • El_Weegro

      12 years ago

      look up Leeroy Jenkins on Wikipedia.com

    • SkoliroWyrda

      12 years ago

      HAPPY NEW YEAR

    • dac32123

      12 years ago

      i talked to my cousin, he is going to paint if for me as long as i sand it down the way he wants it
      he is going to paint it the same color as his car

    • geko_10

      12 years ago

      i agree

    • 2Down

      12 years ago

      everybody that commeted in that journal were already my best friends.
      and you're one of them.

    • Nyuu

      12 years ago

      Smash is a game for game cube

    • El_Weegro

      12 years ago

      thanks for the vote

    • El_Weegro

      12 years ago

      hey dude u gonna go vote or what

    • El_Weegro

      12 years ago

      well then just go to find member and type darkmatter22 and go to his contest then and vote

    • Orighackerz

      12 years ago

      Happy Holidays!

    • 2Down

      12 years ago

      in Halo 3 there will be reactions so the brute is getting shot so he's making that face.

    • El_Weegro

      12 years ago

      hey could u check out darkmatter22's contest and say i sent u if u could id really appreciate it

    • psyco_man

      12 years ago

      140.gif?t=1166765174

    • Cabo0sey

      12 years ago

      trust me seals aint got shit on the aussie SAS

    • TheSoloist

      12 years ago

      i do too....

    • roguekdog

      12 years ago

      wazz up dude did i miss eny thing at skool today.

    • El_Weegro

      12 years ago

      disguised as a girlscout

    • Rasta_Bob

      12 years ago

      well yeah, it might take a bit, but I'll need a lot of mods to do the contest I was thinking about doing....it takes a ton of mods.

    • El_Weegro

      12 years ago

      then talk to shiraixp

    • halo2dork

      12 years ago

      i hate u u hacker

    • Stunna

      12 years ago

      hey whats up man hey man i cant talk right now im just finishin up and then i gotta go. I ll talk to ya tomarrow aight peace.

    • Stunna

      12 years ago

      hey man whats up. I'm new here and i know El_Weegro. It looks like ur pretty kool man so plz accept this frend thing

    • El_Weegro

      12 years ago

      wat???

    • El_Bizaro

      12 years ago

      hello there, i'm in Wild72's contest and i was wondering if you could vote for me twice in the second round. thank you so much for your time...

    • spartanfan44

      12 years ago

      Please vote for me here It will be worth a mod.

    • El_Weegro

      12 years ago

      yee i gotta leave n a bit 2 peace

    • El_Weegro

      12 years ago

      how u been
      anything new wit u

    • El_Weegro

      12 years ago

      idk

    • El_Weegro

      12 years ago

      hey dude

    • El_Weegro

      12 years ago

      peace

    • El_Weegro

      12 years ago

      cuz i wanna be sponsered

    • El_Weegro

      12 years ago

      i dont c a star by my name >:(

    • El_Weegro

      12 years ago

      shit they make dog girls too

    • El_Weegro

      12 years ago

      lol yea its a quote from pulp fiction

    • El_Weegro

      12 years ago

      o ok yea thank you

    • El_Weegro

      12 years ago

      aight u lost me wat ud say?

    • El_Weegro

      12 years ago

      yeh i already think it might be Kat but im not sure

    • El_Weegro

      12 years ago

      wat up dude

    • jbvirus FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      12 years ago

      its alright dude thanx 4 the friend request

    • gusbaxter

      12 years ago

      i watch you

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