jaybattler

Male
from Oakdale, NSW, Australia

  • Activity

    • The Right Thing

      6 years ago

      jaybattler

      how do you know you are doing the right thing?
      is it possible to tell in the future if you have made the right choices?
      I think i can say right now that the hardest choice i have made to date was the right one, now i know i am left with what seems like a chasm of nothing inside is really just an emotional gap that when the time comes I will be able to fill but right now I'm just happy and I think alot of that has to do with the fact i'm only just moving on with my life and i know the events holding me back past nearly a year to 2 years ago
      I like this because when they were happening i was told i was heartless and cold that there was nothing inside of me and i was only skin deep and i would have believed it had this not been the case, would i have been better for it maybe but the fact i can't separate myself while on the other side they can shows that i was the one who cared more and yes i made the right choice i made the choice that would destroy everything i ever wanted and give hope to someone else to have a better life
      and although a risk a big risk that could have failed at any point it didn't and it has lead to something beautiful and although others may say it should have been something beautiful for me I have always found my play in the shadows holding back the tides of darkness.
      Is there anything that could be said that would make me feel better well a hi how are you probably would be best to show that the past has been moved on from and that the childishness of the past has been overcome but still i am concerned my plan has past its end point and it is the decisions that are soon to be made that will change things now out of my reach things that i see that are not being planned for and sadly all my work may have been for naught in the end

    • A love tale

      7 years ago

      jaybattler

      i guess the saying its better to have love and lost applies here,
      is there anything i could have done to change how things happened maybe
      I tried to go on gut feeling as much as possible
      but when it mattered most I folded and didn't stick to my guns
      Is anyone to blame I didn't think so then, and I still don't
      Could i have been more supportive or done anything different
      maybe if i acted sooner the result would have been the same
      but maybe less would have been said
      maybe we would still give each other the passing comment as we moved on with our lives
      Or if I did nothing and let my soul carry the burden of what had happened
      but then the stress and strain would have broken us eventually
      Is there anyway I could have made her life better for her then how it is now, probably not,
      she is well looked after and cared for as far as i know
      but i could fill the space inside her that little piece that had broken open and had always been an open wound ... for her, ... and for me.
      To say we are no longer in love would be a lie
      To say we still aren't hurt would be a lie
      we each have our own loves that do not relate to the other
      but ultimately if not before hand we will meet again as lovers after we both pass from this world

    • UNI UNI

      7 years ago

      jaybattler

      So second semester at uni is going well and I've passed all my subjects for first semester(well have a mark withheld but that was cause I missed the final exam cause I was sick have made it up but the lecturer is my physics lecturer so he's taking his time doing the marking)
      family wise, my sister is having her second child later this year and i don't think anyone could be happier.
      Personally I am seeing someone again first time in a while and enjoying life while still trying to get my work done, its just a bit of fun not really my style but in all honesty it is what i need and at the same time I'm getting to be me my spirit(in the sense of spirit of a person) is still not what it was and thats no surprise but with all my old friends and the new friends i am making at uni it is coming back so the future is bright and although the world is going to shit well doesn't really matter to me

    • half way

      7 years ago

      jaybattler

      well half way through 1st year uni and things are going well passed all my subjects and still hanging out with my friends and plenty of time to relax and work. short journal here hope your all having fun
      batters out

    • life as normal

      7 years ago

      jaybattler

      but then what is normal?
      in anycase uni has proved to be a challenge and I think atleast i am meeting the mark.
      I have recently found away to recommit myself in life and I'm all the better for it.
      Life is hard and I will not pretend otherwise and at times I will not meet the mark I set for myself
      but that is how life is and if i was here cause of only my own actions then I would not be living it very well

      I must say the last year was particularly trying and some of the things that happened i could have handled better but in the end what has come to pass was probably for the best and I must put my best foot forward when ever life throws something on my path whether it be good or bad

      To say I did everything right would be a lie but to say I was the only one at fault would also be a lie and although i will not put name or face to what has happened but to say that I did it in cold blood would be a crime in itself, the best option presented to me was the option was the option where i was no longer in the picture and I took it, a easy road for some but I found it a trial at every turn I am still haunted by the memories of my actions and what I not only did to others but aswell what i did to myself.

      And although I still know what I felt from the beginning and there is no point denying how i felt and in trying to pretend that i felt anything else is where my true mistake lied. Trust was the utimate downfall but the fault does not lie witth one but all involved, if more was said then maybe things would be different but now I must move on although i can't let go of my feelings

      Uni presents alot of opportunities such as a particular girl who at the moment we are getting to know each other and well she is, she's beautiful and very interesting in both her knowledge and beliefs and well I want to get to know her better.

      other than that been considering other career paths since I have had more time to think about it and well the military just seems to be calling to me but idk time willl tell

    • In the end of all things

      7 years ago

      jaybattler

      Wow its been quiet a while idk if anyone is really still on who i use to know
      so much has changed.
      I'll just list them um:
      I was a dad for a very short while
      finished school
      had a year off just working all that i could
      I'm single again has been a long long time
      Oh and yeah the trip was awesome troubles started after that
      for now I have just started uni and am focusing on that
      my car is getting a decent running with having to travel down to the coast every day
      My hatred for the world is back but I am unable to seperate myself from my overwelming care for anyone that I feel deserves it
      So I'm abit fucked up
      but in the end who isn't?

    • DAMN!!!!!!!!!!!!

      8 years ago

      jaybattler

      HSC NEARLY NO SCHOOL

      BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      what to do once its over??

      No.1 go to the States to see Sarah
      and yeah I think Jarrod's right it's been a month since my fight with my parents over that and well I'm still pissed at them
      No. 2 Halo Reach sesh not getting it myself unless I get Jayjay's spare 360 then maybe but I'll play it and finish it
      No. 3 um thats about if for now if I can't do the first I'll kill someone probably but if not kill someone then I'll just spend time with Sarah as best I can till I get a few documents 3 months to work it out I think I'll be able to do it at worst I need to go to canberra and wollongong to get two certificates for ID and then I can get the damn passport

      anyway IPT sucked Sants not here so heres kirby (>0.0)>
      Titan is next to me aka Jayjay

      anyway class is over I love you Sarah
      Laterz everyone

    • This is

      9 years ago

      jaybattler

      Sarah

      I have gotten on my baby puppys account to say HI!!

      Hi Jarrod. Hi people im friends with that that he is too.

      Well anyways im just getting playing with his photos so GTG

      LOVE YOU ALL!! <3's

    • Woof Woof

      9 years ago

      jaybattler

      I don't know in IPT have assessments next kinda tired from my one just before
      though after the 3 today I got 1 left and I don't even need to do it ^.^

    • Ouch

      9 years ago

      jaybattler

      I knocked a chunk of meat out of my middle finger yesterday and now it stings XD

  • Comments (3466)

    • TitanButtons

      7 years ago

      What are your talking about, I know it is an easy game it just lags to shit so it's not worth playing

    • Sparten316

      7 years ago

      I see. I wish I had money to get a new computer... But I just don't have anything right now

    • Sparten316

      8 years ago

      I dont have my own personally steam account lol
      I only have steam on this computer cause my friend let me log into his account to play a couple games, well to try them really. This computer is so old... its hard to play anything on it.

    • Sparten316

      8 years ago

      sup buddy?

    • FuckedUpCat

      8 years ago


      9jngm6.png
      2011.png

    • FuckedUpCat

      8 years ago

      CNBMm6.png

      sorry meant this one

    • FuckedUpCat

      8 years ago

      R6flm6.png

    • cold_arrow

      8 years ago

      Nah, just gonna buy a new one. Oh well.

    • Sparten316

      8 years ago

      Sorry about the no response on xfire. I generally respond. If I am gone or doing class work I probably wont... and I stay logged in all the time. So really if you drop a message and your still on I will reply to it smiley4.gif

    • Sparten316

      8 years ago

      please note I will steal all wolf pics cause I is a puppy I won't take credit for them but yeah MINE


      HAHA yeah I bet

    • Sparten316

      9 years ago

      In college, I am 21 years old lol.

    • Sparten316

      9 years ago

      Yeah, I am saving whats left of my money for a comp. Going to school and I need it...

    • Sparten316

      9 years ago

      Yeah, stuff isn't cheap

    • Sparten316

      9 years ago

      hi!!! smiley0.gif

    • Sparten316

      9 years ago

      Yeah wish I had money for a new comp lol!!

    • MissJaded

      9 years ago

      I was talking about yogurt on my nose... Jeez... What were you thinking?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

    • MissJaded

      9 years ago

      XD
      I got nothing on vid yet... But, I do have some uh... Things on pic...
      >.>

    • MissJaded

      9 years ago

      Ya, I know things don't truly change...
      And did I read that right..? Someone got what on vid??

    • Sparten316

      9 years ago

      What I wouldn't give for a decent working computer XD
      lol it took quite a bit of work to get this one back on its feet and even then im not sure how to upgrade integrated graphics and I still need a new monitor...
      oh life.... sucks.... haha.

      It would cost a mint? O.o

    • Sparten316

      9 years ago

      I could use a better computer... mines really... old and hitten the crapper right now

    • FuckedUpCat

      9 years ago

      I love you so much James i wish so too *kisses smiling*

    • FuckedUpCat

      9 years ago

      kisses smiling eating taco flavored doritos* i wish you were here honey. btw we got a new printer. ITS AWESOME

    • FuckedUpCat

      9 years ago

      kisses smiling* good cvuz i wanna be wit puppy

    • FuckedUpCat

      9 years ago

      kisses gently and happiy* I love you so much hope your having fun

    • FuckedUpCat

      9 years ago

      kisses* ok honey thats fine ill be waiting for you. i love you so much

    • FuckedUpCat

      9 years ago

      kisses smiling happily cuddling as i lick your ear* YAY im glad i love you more then life itself honey

    • FuckedUpCat

      9 years ago

      kisses smling happily as i cuddle you nibblign gnetly on your ear* you will honey and i love you more then anyhting

    • FuckedUpCat

      9 years ago

      kisses smiling nibbling happily* I love yo9u so much James

    • FuckedUpCat

      9 years ago

      kises cuddling smiling happily pawing gnetly nibblign on your ears osflty* oooo really i cant wait either honey I love you so much James

    • FuckedUpCat

      9 years ago

      kisses smiling holding onto you* my days been ok it just got better now your here

    • FuckedUpCat

      9 years ago

      ill try honey. sorry i just got outta the shower didnt wan to smell like a greasy macanic. just hang out and catch up. I lvoe you so much I explained it all on msn

    • FuckedUpCat

      9 years ago

      Hey honey Im goign to go hang out with a friend tonight but ill see you when i get back. Im not sure if you get on today but I love you so much James and ill see you when i get my love. Be safe and ill see you when i get home

    • FuckedUpCat

      9 years ago

      paws at you giggling happily * its ok honey youll get to see a game so all will be right in the world

    • FuckedUpCat

      9 years ago

      giggles kissing your nose smiling* I hope the saints win honey. but i havent watched it that much really i just watched a few mins here or there ive been shopping

    • FuckedUpCat

      9 years ago

      i was uber tired but im fine now

    • Sparten316

      9 years ago

      yeah most mmos are that way.
      unfortunately
      some of them are a little bit enjoy able, others are not...
      I do not like WoW. partly because it doesn't amuse me

    • FuckedUpCat

      9 years ago

      unlocks it gently puring* im srry honey

      ok honey i just disnt want you to feel upset

    • FuckedUpCat

      9 years ago

      *giggles smiling mewing and squeaking sotly running to my china hutch crawling in shutting and locking the door thn hides in my tea cup* really honey whys tht

      srry bout last night love i was pooped and the music made my brain dumb

    • Sparten316

      9 years ago

      Lol
      yeah I dont play it. I dont really like it

    • FuckedUpCat

      9 years ago

      I love my puppy no one else can have him
      *cuddles you licking you gently pawing up at your nos giggling* i would love that honey cuz i gets my puppy for the rest of the year

    • FuckedUpCat

      9 years ago

      I loe you so much James
      awwwww ill cuddle you
      *crawls o y belly looking up at you with a cute and innocent look.* but i no want to

    • Sparten316

      9 years ago

      I have a feeling that she may be a good companion but a pain in the but when you need a mount


      I have a feeling this was a WoW reference

    • FuckedUpCat

      9 years ago

      I love you so much james. I want tht so much honey

    • Sparten316

      9 years ago

      oh god damn you yarn


      haha!

    • FuckedUpCat

      9 years ago

      i love you so much

      thats because im slowly getting there honey. it takes time its only been a month and we have a lot of things to get done before anything else happens. i kno it seems like nothings happening but it is really it is

      ok honey

    • FuckedUpCat

      9 years ago

      really honey
      oh....

    • FuckedUpCat

      9 years ago

      no im not honey im just american trash.
      you never hurt me either honey you worried me more then anything and i only see myself with you no one else

    • FuckedUpCat

      9 years ago

      kisses you holiding onto you* its ok love really its my fault

    • FuckedUpCat

      9 years ago

      licks your nose* why

    • FuckedUpCat

      9 years ago

      I love you so much James *kisses cuddling* hows my puppy

  • Questions

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