joekickass29

Male
from your face.

  • Activity

    • Cougar? More like CUNT!

      8 years ago

      joekickass29

      OK. That's it. I am fucking sick of my XBOX. I have realized it's not me. I can't play Red Dead Redemption any more because I got a shitty race mission, involving the shittiest possible mode of transport, a cock sucking horse, yet, mine was shit. I tried for about two hours with other horses before I realized I needed a better one. So I shot mine. A lot. Then I stabbed it. So I ran around for about 30 minutes, found a stallion, broke it in, thought sweet, then fast travelled to the mission. When I got there, I was immediately attacked and killed by two cougars. I hate cougars. That was gay. I fast travelled again. And guess what? They were there again. I killed one but the other got my horse, then got me. Fucker. So I rode there, which took ages. Got there. Then was told the mission was time sensitive. So I FOUND A FUCKING COUGAR AND RAPED THE SHIT OUT OF IT, I got far to much pleasure out of stabbing and tea bagging that cougar. Then his friend killed my horse while I wasn't looking. I literally didn't see what happened. I only heard it. I then cried. Switched my xbox off and threw Red Dead out the window. All in all. I have learned nothing but cougars are arseholes, XBOX is out get me and I'm now in the worst mood ever. Fuck.

    • What the fuck?

      8 years ago

      joekickass29

      Gus blocked me from his page! What the fuck did I do? I don't recall ever posting on there!

    • Fuxy

      8 years ago

      joekickass29

      Sup y'all?! I'm still here mothers! It did sort of make me sad to come back and see my wall. Anywho, just came back to say It's my birthday soon so buy me something!

      MLG are fagget's. I want to join Frag Dolls.

    • Oh fuuuugina.

      8 years ago

      joekickass29

      I just typed out 6 new chapters of my new erotic thriller BETWEEN HEAVEN AND HELL and closed the window before posting by accident. YOU LUCKY BASTARDS!!!

    • BETWEEN HEAVEN & HELL (Twilight 6)

      8 years ago

      joekickass29

      READ MY NEW BOOK "Between Heaven & Hell" where a chick falls for a dude, BUT HE'S A FUCKING ANGEL AND SHIT!!!! Filled with typoes and weirsd shit and including a complete lack of understanding of grammer and shit and how dudes are awesome and chicks suck without them and far too many 'ands'. This comment is half the boooook....and a review.

      CHAPTER ONE: Some chick (I'm far too drunk to think up a girls name. Nemo will do. Have you seen Finding Nemo? I haven't.) was walking around feeling all depressed and shit despite having some banning tits, then this Angel turns up, but you don't know he's an angel. He's all like "Hay, you may not know me, but I'm an arsehole, you'd straight up die without me, bitch. Anyway, I'm moody because I'M A FUCKING ANGEL! But you didn't hear that from me."

      CHAPTER TWO: Nemo ( I fucking hate that name now. Smegmole will do.) Smegmole has recently moved TO A REALLY BIG PLACE, bigger than Texas. The goofy bitch straight away fell over. A hand slowly came down and grazed her boob, he hoped she haddn't noticed, but she did, and helped her up. The dude who helped her up was called ANGLE! He told this to her and he helped her up. "That's a weird name" she said. He looked bermused. "Well fuck you then, stay on the floor see if I care." He then shoved her to the floor, THEN LIGHTENING HAPPENED. Anyway, she picked herself up and immeditly fell in love, because this is my book, so fuck you. "Who is this guy ANGLE? He's so fucking cool." she asked her friend, Carpet, "His name is Angle I think."

      CHAPTER 3: HORRATIO!!!!

      CHAPTER 4: Carpet and Smegmole directed their space ship THROUGH MUTHERFUCKING SPACE, I forgot to mention that earlier, sorry. ANGLE's ship pulled up alongside, he spoke words that were like air roses, which is what I call my girlfriends farts, "How'd you enjoy that fall, bitch?" Try Insulting my name again!" THEN SPACE LIGHTENING HAPPENED! "Look, I'm sorry, but I'm a woman!" He realized this, remembering the banging tits, "Ok, I'll forgive you. But sometimes, I'm so lonely." His spaceship flew off. Carpet looked at Smegmole and said, "My god, what a tortured soul, let's be lesbians!" THEN THEY KISS AND GET OUT THEIR BOOOBS WHICH IS SO COOL, COOLER THAN THAT TIME THAT DIE HARD WAS ON!

    • Found Child of The Sea

      8 years ago

      joekickass29

      Well, well, well, been I while since I've spoken to you! Fuck-e-does. What's been going on with you? Here's what's been going on with me.

      Not sure if I ever mentioned this, but I got a job! I work at a go kart track, I'm a marshal. I wave a flag and shit. Despite my main task being waving a task, it's a really fucking hard job. We had a 6 hour race, not including practice. This was long therefore not fun. The hours are gay too. 15 hour shifts are pretty gay but I work them a lot. But I do love that shit.

      So some other much less interesting things which I forgot has happened. I got very fucking high and walked into a bush thinking it was a turnstyle, I was in there for 5 minutes before I found my way out. Got in a bar fight offer a one of those gay arse vuvuswalalalal (those African horn things which are really annoying). Err and some other stuff.

      I'm back for good now, so there's going to be some damn changes in this joint. Totengraber, sit up straight, 9Mil' stop talking a dance tiny mother, Countryrip....just stop! I know you're doing something dammit!

      NAH FUCK THAT LETS GET SOME PUSSY AND FUCK A HOLE IN THE SKY YOU JIVE ASS WHITE BOYS!

    • Err, anyone remember me?

      8 years ago

      joekickass29

      AM BACK MOTHER FUCKERS!!! AND I'M ON LIVE TOO! LodgedOne, add me.

      Fuck I got some crazy shit to tell you.

    • End of The End? Or End of The Middle?

      9 years ago

      joekickass29

      Sup y'all! Not been on here in smegging ages! How've you been? I bounced back. That chick? Gone! All chicks? Gone! I'm back to being superfly, mother fucks. I want you on board my supersail boat of fucking.

      Xmas is here soon. The tree is as errect as my nipples and Santa's on his way to brake in to your home and do the reverse of stealing shit. I got all of you a clock radio. Sorry, two of you will have to share since I ate the other one. Now you know where I've been.

      I haven't been doing much really. Just the usuall stuff, sex, death threats and searching for that Mexican who never painted my house. Remember Moon? I watched it. It was good. Not what I was expecting but good.

      BUY ME A PONY YOU FUNKY WHITE BOY!

    • Pissing Blood & Fire Sky

      9 years ago

      joekickass29

      I went a party on Saturday which was sort of lame. I can pretty confidently say I was the coolest person there. They were all nerds. But there were a few attractive girls there. I got drunk and gave out my number like skittles. There were twins there and I gave my number to both of them (oops). Me and my friend then walked home at two in the morning through the rain. It took an hour and a bit. Never hitch because it isn't funny when people actually stop. Oh, and I spilt beer on Na-na's carpet.

      Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2 comes out tonight which is pretty cool (I know I just called other people nerds but fuck you). To buy this, I need money, so I'm selling Beanie Babies. Want to buy some? Don't ask how I got them in the first place.

      Haji be pimpin' yo! Fuck y'all!

    • Generation Kill

      9 years ago

      joekickass29

      I haven't been on to much. For some retarded reason, Roosterteeth is slow and laggy as fuck on my laptop. As a result, this'll be quick.

      Generation Kill is the best TV show in the past 10 years. Go watch it now. UK readers can catch the last few episodes on 4 on Wendesday at 11ish.

      People suck. You can't trust those arseholes. That chick I liked? Not only broke my heart but betrayed my trust. Take a shit on me why don't you? Not the only person to do so. Fucking cunts.

      I coughed up blood one morning.

      Muse's new album is awesome.

      That's all y'all.

  • About Me

  • Comments (1458)

    • Wchurchill

      8 years ago

      i knew , i totally knew haha

    • yoyomonkey

      8 years ago

      HEY THERE COOL GUY HOW'S IT GOING JUST STOPPED BY TO SAY HI OKAY BYE

    • Wchurchill

      8 years ago

      ima 14 and yes the girls ;)

    • CountryRip87

      8 years ago

      In reply to joekickass29, #2:

      I do not understand these symbols. What is a 2?
      I dont know , probably that ive lost the bet .

    • 9mm_dealer

      8 years ago

      ah you've obviously never listened to good hip hop. Just that mainstream BS.

    • jackoff

      8 years ago

      it's a little bit of both.

    • yoyomonkey

      9 years ago

      Fuck you I'm Ringo. I can't believe you don't recognize me. :'(

    • CountryRip87

      9 years ago

      Not very subtle with the triple kill shots was i .
      But fuck it , i was badassss on Halo . Untill the night it quite nearly drove me nuts trying for level 35 lone wolves .
      I was howling at the moon .. never did reach level 35 . There are no easy kills there , just lucky ones and hard earned ones .
      I fear Modern Warfare 2 is going to pull back into the online thing again .

    • x0PROJECT0x

      9 years ago

      Nice :p Lol
      So ya actully live around surrey ? lol i didnt know there was any RvB fans apart from me in the area ? lol
      Weird... lets face it there arent many..
      RvB has always been more of an american thing :p

    • CountryRip87

      9 years ago

      happy birthday . Now , get yur ya yas out and shake thy moneymaker

    • Totengraber

      9 years ago

      Oi! It's your birthday today! (29th) so Happy Birthday!!!

      I hope you have a great day and it would be nice to talk to you as you seem to have disappeared!

    • yoyomonkey

      9 years ago

      You brits and your legal drinking age...

    • super_noob

      9 years ago

      Whoa dude I totally forgot about sending you that CD, I don't even know where it went! I need to find that and get you those songs.

    • yoyomonkey

      9 years ago

      Get money, fuck bitches, etc...

    • Papio

      9 years ago

      Yo dude what happened to your facebook i just noticed you like disappeared.

    • 9mm_dealer

      9 years ago

      yeah, lets become douche bags. apparently girls like that.

    • yoyomonkey

      9 years ago

      I think you need to really go out and do something. I don't really know what. I guess you need to take some risks and get out of your comfort zone.

    • yoyomonkey

      9 years ago

      Isn't slow dancing just rocking back and forth while holding eachother tenderly?

    • yoyomonkey

      9 years ago

      So what the fuck are you going to do?

    • yoyomonkey

      9 years ago

      What was your "cowards" way out?

    • Zankaru

      9 years ago

      Good luck with your classes. - Thanks =)

      My voices are screaming. It sucks balls. - Haha, mine never screamed, I can imagine though. *sad smile*

    • Zankaru

      9 years ago

      What are you talking about? Can I be a sargent? Explain this group.

      Forgot to name what I was talking about, the 'group' is ROTC from my school.

    • 9mm_dealer

      9 years ago

      if you insist =]

    • 9mm_dealer

      9 years ago

      I'm not really sure. I've only commented on your status like 3 times maybe. Odd.

    • 9mm_dealer

      9 years ago

      by comment on me do you mean in real life or on here?

    • yoyomonkey

      9 years ago

      I don't know, it's just pretty sporadic and incoherent.

    • omgidontno

      9 years ago

      I'd love some hobnobs, thank you.

    • omgidontno

      9 years ago

      Hey man, grammar is spelled wrong in your about section. Just giving you a heads up.

    • yoyomonkey

      9 years ago

      Deviatred spetum was bodll the tiem.rhting meand makin gm nose run and ber congeste.

      Hug me harder. I'm in so much pain.

    • yoyomonkey

      9 years ago

      You could try it. I prefer Pepsi though.

    • CountryRip87

      9 years ago

      Alright , country rip is the tag . i ll look out for you

    • 9mm_dealer

      9 years ago

      Okay. That movie looks so fucking good.

    • yoyomonkey

      9 years ago

      I just downloaded Manners and have been listening to it a lot lately. I really love it, especially when it's played super loud with lots of bass.

      Song is Kissing Families by Silversun Pickups. My all time favorite band.

    • 9mm_dealer

      9 years ago

      All my friends think I'm creepy for it. But they were hot. What can I say?

      Yeah, I'll check it out =]

    • 9mm_dealer

      9 years ago

      I kind of figured you didn't

    • 9mm_dealer

      9 years ago

      that'd be nuts if you really did

    • yoyomonkey

      9 years ago

      What speaker? What do you mean missing a slice?

    • yoyomonkey

      9 years ago

      That's not creepy. Besides, you only saw like half my face.

    • CountryRip87

      9 years ago

      Yeeh , i needed a break from this rvb , doing a bit of this a bit of that a bit seal clubbing amonst the madness . Getting through everyones journals , yours in particualr has got my grit groovin` ,

    • 9mm_dealer

      9 years ago

      yup, it worked. =]

    • Totengraber

      9 years ago

      We picked the boat up from Narbonne, and I only wish there were plenty of girls :-(

      And yes the water rat is eating a bake well tart :P We gave it to him...

    • Lein

      9 years ago

      No, it was a terrible cell phone vid. I shall link you if it stays on youtube for more than five minutes without getting removed.

    • 9mm_dealer

      9 years ago

      Jailbait. A girl that is hot, most likely willing to fuck you or suck your dick, but acting on that would cause you to go to jail because she's underage. Its illegal to have sex with a girl that's under the age of 18 here. If you're over 18 that is.

    • yoyomonkey

      9 years ago

      Well if you do have anything that's not on either album, then I'd love to have it. You could send it on messenger, or e-mail, or whatever is easiest.

    • yoyomonkey

      9 years ago

      Oh, right. Like the back side of a 45. I get it. Did you mean you have a collection of them, or just one? Either way, I'll take it.

      Also, I think we'd probably get along pretty well too. And I love you. <3

      No homo.

    • yoyomonkey

      9 years ago

      Well it leaked. And I downloaded it. And It's fantastic.

      What's a B-side?

    • yoyomonkey

      9 years ago

      Why didn't you tell me The Rumble Strips had a new album?

    • yoyomonkey

      9 years ago

      Yeah, exactly.

    • yoyomonkey

      9 years ago

      :/

    • yoyomonkey

      9 years ago

      You gave me an erection.

  • Questions

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