joy

Female
from where I belong

    • joy

      2 years ago

      Have you ever kept a secret to spare someone else's feelings that would make you so much happier to just get out in the open??????? And said secret has already been revealed to the only person you actually did not want to find out. I will keep the secret, I am a person of my word............but boy would I really love to get it off my chest...................guess this is as close as I will get to that!

    • joy

      2 years ago

      I miss my life before kids!!!! I love my kids and love being a mom, but I really miss being able to pick and go on my terms! I miss being socially reckless!

    • joy

      Another Long winded rant...........

      3 years ago

      Gotta get this off my chest!
      so earlier this week, I did something that I felt to be selfless and tried to help out a friend and in doing so helped out someone I really do not care for, but felt that as our differences are due to something that happened 18 yrs ago that we had both grown. Guess who was wrong in that assumption............once again...........ME!

      Look, we have all done things in our lives that were not our shining moments! I have never said that I was above being guilty for my sins! The fact of the matter is that in the particular, ancient history of which is being once again brought to the surface I was not the only one involved and the someone I do not care for was just as wrong in her part.........yet she still plays the victim to my actions!

      Cryptic..........yes it is because the fact is that since what happened was so long ago, I am not still 100% sure of every detail. I can say this much........... I lied and let people believe something was going on that WAS NOT........At the time I did do it to be hurtful, which is completely out of character for me! At the time I thought I was helping a friend get out of a situation he did not want to be in........I was the perfect out, and at the tender age of 19 I had no grasp of how it might truly effect my friend, his family, the person I did not like or my own relationship at the time or as I found out yesterday.......now too.

      I am sorry, I can't take back what happened so long ago..............neither can the others involved and I am tired of continuing to defend myself. I admit that my part was wrong and wish I could take it back, but for the love of pumpkins, can we just grow the hell up and accept responsibility for our actions???????????

      I wish I could just forget about this and move on...........I actually thought that I had...........but now I am once again mad and angry!

      The worst part is that then and now I was just trying to help a friend...............and I am the bad guy!

    • joy

      Ageing Parents............AHHHHGGGG!

      3 years ago

      I have had it with my Dad and sister!!!!!! Grrrrrrrrrrr!!!!
      So my mom had a total hip replacement 2+ weeks ago. She is 64 and other than a bad hip and knee, in relatively good health. She still works fulltime as a Nurse (Recovery Room). When she planned to have her hip surgery......which she put off for a long time as to not be an inconvienence to anyone, she planned for a routine 3-4 stay after surgery. Unfortunately when they put in the new hip they fractured her femur in the process. This is a not so rare possibility. As a result she has much more in the way of rehab because she cannot bare any weight on her surgical leg. Also, she has a bad knee on the opposite "good" leg. She has been doing fantastic and is supposed to be coming home on Friday.
      This all being said, my father is making her and my life HELL! My parents have been married for 40yrs. My dad retired about 18 months ago, due to barely being able to walk as a resutl of poor diabetes management and a really bad ankle ( from his time in the service). Since he has retired, he has become the most self-centered person I have ever met! He has managed to make my mom's whole surgery and recovery somehow all about him. He feels neglected...................poor him!
      I love both of my parents very much and would do anything for them. I have spent my free time (hahaha) going to see my mom at the hospital.............a 45 minute each way drive 11 out of the last 16 days and grocery shopping for my dad, doing his laundry , gathering now needed home health aides for my mom's at home recovery. Now that my mom is coming home, my father has decided that she is "milking" the situation because for once it is not all about him!
      As for my sister...............she lives out of state and has not so much as even sent my mom a card and refuses to talk to my dad on the phone and then complains to me about how annoying he is! I am just over all of their pettiness and just want to run away!
      I won't though, I am not that type of person. I will continue to try to help my mom in every way possible and not blow up at my dad...............because I was taught to respect my elders.............which contrary to how much he is pissing me off right now, I still do very much respect my father! So a big fat GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!



      IF you actually read all this............Thank You! I just had to get it off my chest before I went crazy
      Joy

    • joy

      4 years ago

    • joy

      4 years ago

    • joy

      4 years ago

    • joy

      Just need to vent!!!!!!!!!

      4 years ago

      Please do not feel it necessary to comment .............I really just need to put into words what is going on in my head right now! I am not looking for pitty! I just want it out of my head so maybe I can just move on!

      Damn it I am a good person! I am great Mom! I am so tired of most of the people in my life looking down at me! I know it is easy to say if they are looking down at you then you should not have them in your life. The truth of the matter is that it is really easy to say it, but not so easy to do it! I am so tired from spending my whole life caring for other people and just don't seem to get the same in return! I just really hurt right now and don't want to have to tell the world about it to have someone, anyone just know that I need a hug...............a really good, gonna take all my fear away hug! Just hold me until I stop being so afraid!

      Ok, that felt good! Again...............I just needed to get the tears out! I will be fine, I always am!

    • joy

      4 years ago

    • joy

      4 years ago

  • About Me

    Open AllClose All

  • Comments (537)

    • mb2000inc

      mb2000inc

      3 years ago

      In reply to joy, #10:

      plenty of holiday Joy!!!!!!!!!!

      WIN!

    • joy

      joy

      3 years ago

      I am totally holding you to that!

    • jucksweet

      jucksweet

      3 years ago

      We will make a trip out there one of these days!!

    • Kritzia8

      Kritzia8

      3 years ago

      It is my teeth. I have a major infection and have used up my benefits till next year. I have an appointment Jan 14th lol.

      Side note, my mom went back into MICU again today. double pneumonia again.

    • mb2000inc

      mb2000inc

      5 years ago

      ok.... smiley3.gif

    • mb2000inc

      mb2000inc

      5 years ago

      you sign in, but don't stop by... i see how it is.

    • Kritzia8

      Kritzia8

      5 years ago

      Just prayers. Thanks. She has been moved back to oberlin to re start therapy. That is good. We almost lost her again on the 4th.



      Too much stress.

    • mb2000inc

      mb2000inc

      6 years ago

      It's working just fine. smiley0.gifsmiley12.gif

    • mb2000inc

      mb2000inc

      6 years ago

      Um, Don't you pretty much LOVE any Fireworks???????


      Hi, I'm Mark... have we met?

    • fnbitch

      fnbitch

      6 years ago

      Nothing like the unconditional love of a baby. Even as young and stupid as I was when I had my first, it still swells my heart when I look at them. Now you gotta wait and see how you feel when you get grandchildren! smiley8.gifsmiley0.gif