ksa_fan13

Female
from College

  • Activity

    • Well it WAS a good day.

      9 years ago

      ksa_fan13

      I woke up. Feeling fantastic. Even though I didn't get much sleep, I was feeling like a million bucks. I went to my first class, expecting to have a quiz in there. And he tells us that we're not having one, so it was possibly the best moment of my life in that class. The day goes on. Psychology with Zeke was a major highlight. And then I get to my voice lesson. I'm waiting outside her door at 1259, ready to knock on the door at exactly 1. The moment it turns 1 I knock and wait. No answer. Knock again. Nothing. Now it's 102, and I'm worried. I run to check my email, thinking she cancelled and I didn't see it since I've been in class all morning. Nothing. Now I panic. I go back to her door, knock, wait, knock, wait, knock, wait. Nothing. I rush to Jodi's office, and she calls my professor, who finally decides to come walking in 118. My voice lesson only goes to 130. We only have 12 minutes. I'm super pissed. What is it about people not understanding that I'm not just going to leave if you don't answer in the first 5 minutes? I expect to have a lesson at 1, not 101, 1. If it starts late, I get really pissed. If I have no idea what's going on, I assume the world is imploding, and no one told me where the safety spot was. The result of this is absolute hysteria.
      It gets progressively worse with my friend telling me she's ditching dinner with me to go see some softball game with girls playing that she couldn't even stand.
      And I feel like I'm being used. And I really do not like this feeling. I once thought I would like this feeling. And now I've come to realize it's got to be the worst feeling in the world. I have no idea what to do. Maybe a hot shower and a movie is what I need to help make this day better. =\

    • Damn damn damn!

      9 years ago

      ksa_fan13

      Why is it that whenever I'm most excited. I have no one to share my excitedness with?

    • Peter Terry, I do not understand. Allyne

      9 years ago

      ksa_fan13

      "Are you going to be here next year?"
      "No. Why?"
      "Because I'm going to be in Bren-Dell."
      "So?"
      "So we could party all night long!"
      "Zeke. You don't party."
      "Well. You could take my partying virginity."
      "I think you really do want me to go to jail. You're only 17 and we say entirely inappropriate things to each other. Now you want me to take one of your virginities."
      "Oh so now I'm not worth jail?"
      "Never."


      "Oh my god she's wearing glasses."
      "She looks like a retard."
      "I think glasses make people look smarter."
      "Aww Zekie! You think I look smart?"
      "You're the exception."
      -Angry face-


      -After the test-
      "Can I have your soda?"
      "I'm not done with it yet."
      "If I backwash can I have it?"
      "You're disgusting. Just take it."
      "Aww Zekie! You gave me a soda!"

    • All in a semester's work

      9 years ago

      ksa_fan13

      So it's been one and a half semesters into college. I figured it's time for some update, since my last journal was about a year and a half ago.



      And now that I actually sit down and think about what to write. I realize exactly how boring my life has gotten. Wow. I need more friends. Pronto.

    • 9 years ago

      ksa_fan13
    • You know you're weird when...

      11 years ago

      ksa_fan13

      You decide to go to WalMart at 1 in the morning, even though you're underage.

      While walking home from WalMart, some crazy guy drives past in a van going at least 80, turns around, goes past again, turns around, and stops right beside you, and it doesn't even bother you.

      But, after you don't see crazy van guy, you make fun of a skunk that's going into the soccer field.

      Then you see the same skunk two foot away from you staring you down, and all you can do is sidestep and say, "Fuck you."

      Yes, the skunk actually freaked you out more than the crazy van guy.


      All in a night's work.

    • I'm not homophobic, I love lesbians!

      11 years ago

      ksa_fan13

      That's actually been said to me before. And I hate it. Honestly. People think they're so accepting of the world. Because you accept someone's religion. Or the music they listen to. Or because they have less money. Or because their parents are split up. Or because they're in foster care. But is it really accepting someone when you say, "I don't have a problem with people being gay. Lesbians are hot."
      Even my friend, Cody, who is completely and utterly anti-gay, goes along with our gay conversations, has an answer for the Johnny vs. Orlando arguments, and even says, "They can be gay, as long as they don't touch me." But, then again, maybe it's because his best friend is a guy, and is bi.
      My cousin, Kevin, who refuses to watch movies where a guy is half-naked, takes pride in the fact that he can do a "gay voice" better than I've ever heard, likes to make people think he's gay, and even goes to a gay bar to check out his competition. But then again, he survived brain cancer, so his outlook on life might be a little more giving.
      But take my longest friend. We've been friends for almost 18 years. And, he commented a picture that I took with a guy who is bi. Now, I look like I'm shirtless, and I can't remember if I'm shirtless, but his exact words were, "haha...nice...at least you're with Circle instead of Hogue or Travis since you're not wearing a shirt =P"
      First off. What's with the Circle nickname? I've heard him called that so many times that it's disgusting. Second. What does it matter who I'm with? I was shirtless the other night while playing strip poker with two guys I didn't even know, and a drunk ex. Like it really freaking matters who sees my tits. So when I ask why I would be with Travis or Hogue (which I've known both of them since at least first grade), his next answer is, "i don't know...i was just mentioning a few guys that are straight and in Top 20...duh"
      Now I'm just a little pissed off. For one, I'm still pissed that Matthew had to have his own dressing room, because the guys didn't feel comfortable with him being in theirs. But yet, Jon Byal is supposedly gay. Why didn't they kick him out too? Two, what gives old friend the right to say anything about him being gay? I'm pretty damn sure he's never talked to him a day in his life. Sure, he's probably heard some things from his girlfriend, but has he really sat down and tried to get a conversation going? I don't really think so.
      My next comment is, "Why do you guys constantly make fun of him because he isn't straight? I'd hate to hear the things you guys say about me behind my back." Because, it's true. I've heard a lot of my guy friends make fun of him. Especially some that I knew would say it, but not with the tone they said it. And, it makes me feel really insecure because I'm openly bi, and who knows what people are saying behind my back? Yeah, okay. I'll admit, I'm kinda cute sometimes. But still. Because I'm a girl, it automatically makes it okay for me to be bi.
      So now it comes down to the gender issue. Girls vs. guys. Why is it okay for a girl to hit a guy, but when he tries to push her away, she automatically screams abuse? Now, I understand if he full out punches her in the face, and his intent is to harm her. But when he just grabs her shoulders to get her to stop... Guys have to watch their step so much, because if they even come close to the line their life is pretty much over. But a girl can cross the line all she wants, and she barely gets anything. Even if she abuses a child, she doesn't really get punished.
      Why is it okay for a girl to dress like a guy, but not for a guy to dress like a girl? Why is it that when a girl wears boy pants, no one ever says anything, but when a guy wears girl pants, everyone whispers behind their back, and some assholes even ask why.
      Girls get so much leniency in this world. We get away with everything. And you poor guys have to sit there and take it like a man. It's okay for girls to be lesbian, but it's not okay for guys to be gay.
      So now I'm questioning my status with my friends. Am I just a joke? Do they really believe that I'm bi, or are they just going along with it because they know I'm crazy? And even if they don't believe that I am, why should I, or anyone else for that matter, have to prove that I am?
      It made me realize. That I have complete assholes for friends. Yeah. Some of them are okay. Some of them are actually pretty amazing. But, for the others that are assholes. Let this be a message.
      You were awesome at one point. When it didn't matter how big your dick was, or how many times you got laid, or how long you'd been dating someone. Before you started dating your current girlfriend, you were pretty much awesome. Before you started dating Ashley's friend, you were pretty much my best friend. Then I got arrested, you got laid, and suddenly you had a completely different view of the world. Why is it when guys finally get their manhood, they stop thinking the way they once did? Yeah, girls do it too. But, I've never been kicked out of a dressing room because the girls are afraid that I'm going to be checking them out. So why is that when you got laid, you completely disowned me as a friend? And now that you're dating your current girlfriend, you've become an even bigger dick. I hate to say this. No. Wait. I LOVE to say this. I love your girlfriend to death. She's amazing. But, when you started dating her, your head got shoved so far up her ass, you've become a jackass big enough for the both of you. You took whatever jackass-ness she had hiding in her, stole it, and now you're sitting in her colon plotting what nasty shit you're gonna say about the next person who doesn't fit into your fairytale lifestyle. So let's get it straight. I can't really say that I hate you. Because how can you truly hate someone that you've known for so long, and is practically your sibling? <Read comment. It goes on.>

    • Bizarre, but right at home

      11 years ago

      ksa_fan13

      Do I have to spell it out to you
      or scream it in your face?
      Oh, the chemistry between us could destroy this place
      Do I have to spell it out for you
      or whisper in your ear?
      Oh, just stop right there
      I think that we've got something here
      `

      So I jsut got off a 7 hour shift at work. And I'm sitting at home eating nachos and cheese from taco bell. And I've been thinking. About a lot of stuff. Because what else is there to do at McDonald's except make fun of people and think?
      So anyway. I was thinking about a comment that someone said to a friend of mine, and it kinda bothered me.

      Am I really a poser? Because, according to this person, I can't like the music I like, still be hardcore about show choir and marching band, be fun one minute and flying off the handle the next, and have the right to be called emo.
      1. When was I ever emo?
      2. When did I ever want to be emo?
      3. Why would I want to be like everyone else that thinks it's the shit to be emo?

      Yeah. Sweeney Todd is my favorite movie, I wear way too much black makeup, I cry all the time (because of laughter), I like to listen to depressing music, and I wear band shirts pretty much every day. But is it so wrong to have finally found the person I really am, and not be afraid to just let it all hang out, metaphorically speaking? Okay. So I dyed my hair black. So what if I want to get a hardcore mullet, and electric blue and neon green tips, or something to that effect? So what if Buffy The Vampire Slayer is my favorite show ever. So what if I find myself headbanging to the theme song. So what if I listen to bands you've never heard of, and represent their name on my tits? No one should fucking care. No one criticizes someone when they wear Hollister or AE on their shirt. No one cares if someone doesn't own a pair of tennis shoes, just "dress up" shoes. No one cares if someone's had sex with half the school. But yet, whenever I get a new band shirt, everyone starts talking. Since the only pair of heels I wear anymore is my character shoes, everyone thinks I'm trashy. Since I'm a virgin, apparently it's a sin anymore.

      So what if we were supposed to dress up for graduation, and I wore a pair of khakis with my dot Airwalks and my Power Rangers shirt? So what if I went to homecoming with a Burger King crown, and ended up changing into a pair of jeans and my TDWP shirt? So what if I speak my mind, watch movies about transvestites, sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star along with the piano, roll around on the floor and run into tables? So what if I'm bi and I hit on your girlfriend, get horny from getting snapped with a towel, and sit on the top shelf of the stacks at work? So what if I played a transvestite for Cabaret, and completely owned the entire song? It shouldn't matter.

      Just because I am the person I am doesn't mean that I should be criticized for everything I do or don't do. Maybe I am a poser. Do I care? Yeah, I really do. Because I've tried my hardest to not be one of the people who just acts the part, but doesn't really get into it. Yes, music is my life. If I had to choose between the kid I love, or music, I'm sorry, but music is going to win out every time. And for all the stupid little shits who sit there and try to pull off the image of a kid who can't live without music, try being the kid who went to a show when she was basically ready to kill herself, and did a complete 360. I thrive off music. Yeah, I sing decently, I can play the hell out of mello, clarinet, and bass clarinet, I can sight-read like no other, and I can actually sit there and pull random notes out of my ass during a quartet and make it sound good.

      [Now it sounds like I'm bragging.]
      But come on. You can't be a poser and be able to do the shit I do.

      So that was my little rant. Sorry if it bored you. Oh, and for that little fuck who commented one of my other journals when I said it might not even be worth his time to read, and completely neg-modded me. Go fuck off. I never liked you anyway.

    • "Could you make tea...

      11 years ago

      ksa_fan13

      ...with a used tampon?"

      "Do you play with your boobs often? Or just when you're horny?"

      "Dude, just get on the table and pretend you're masturbating...Please?"

      "If you flick a clit hard, would it hurt?"

      "What is a clit?"


      The questions that get asked when you sit at a table with 6 guys.
      All of them in one day.

      Fun fun.

    • Crazy Person/Homewrecker

      11 years ago

      ksa_fan13

      So today was entertaining, and I hope a couple people learned a little lesson from it.

      Let me give you the background story. Last night, I got bored, so I sent a text to all the guys in my phone saying, "My penguin wants to play with your monkey," just to see what kind of replies I got. I only got one, so I started up a conversation with him. Toward the end of the conversation I was told that I had been talking to an old friend of mine for most of it. Cool. I don't care.

      Today...

      SC: Hey i heard you were flirting with my boyfriend...i would really appreciate if you would stop!!
      Me: I don't know who this is. So don't accuse me of something if I don't know you.
      SC: Well you know josh haudenschield and you flirt with him and dont deny it cuz i looked through his phone so stop flirt with him
      Me: Your bouyfriend didn't have to talk to me. And besides wasn't I talking to Tammy for most of it anyway? Don't get so offensive. You don't know me. You don't know when I'm flirting and when I'm not. So if you don't mind. Stop running your mouth to people like me who don't give a fuck about your insecurities.
      SC: Well u didnt hav to talk2him in the first place...do u like trying 2ruin ppl relationships!u bout broke up maggie n tyler when u were flirting wit him
      Me: *Currently kicking ass at volleyball in gym*
      SC: HOMEWRECKER!!
      Me: Let's get this story straight. Tyler messaged me first. I dumped his sorry ass for a reason. I didn't care about his relationship with whats her face. And when he and I talked it was mostly telling each other to fuck off and die. And if I'm such a fucking homewrecker then you need to seriously get over yourself. I sent that fucking text to everyone in my fucking phone. My fucking bad that he answered my text about absolutely nothing? No. Get over yourself. I'm done with your ass. Girls who have no idea what the hells going on and decide to they're gonna start shit with a fucking crazy person piss me off. But if you want to play games, let's start a new one. It's called, "Allyne will kick your fucking ass and giggle when she pulls the plug on your life support in the hospital."

      She didn't answer for a while. And, I was still pissed off. I figured that if she wanted to call me a homewrecker, and slander my name throughout her school, then I was going to fight immaturity with even more immaturity.

      Sent to everyone in my phone. Yes, everyone: Hey guys! Big news! Apparently today is point out a homewrecker day! And since I'm Hardin County's resident homewrecker, I'm sending you all a message to know that tomorrow is Stupid Cunt Awareness Day, and we have a new Stupid Cunt, crowned yesterday! So let's give the newest Stupid Cunt of Hardin County a nice big welcome to honor her new status. Text *** *** **** and give this Stupid Cunt of Hardin County a nice big congratulatory text! Thanks guys!

      And apparently, everyone started texting her, and then I was told that it was an "April Fool's Day" joke. And, then the guy got pissed off at me because it was him and my old friend doing it, and that I'm a psycho bitch because I took it "too far" and now she's getting nasty texts from people.

      Me: You know, the lesson to be learned in all this... Don't mess with fucking crazy people.

  • About Me

  • Comments (1344)

    • vampireslaye

      9 years ago

      Sweden is within my grasp. Aww cant you pretend just for a week or so that I will take you over? I will like when you finally do it. ;)

    • jaxom_rahl

      9 years ago

      D2 is fucking awesome. You should get it. Can't wait for D3. Shit's gonna be fucking epic with a capital "Q".

      I've heard a lot of things about WoW, both good and bad, but the only consistant opinion is that it's extremely addictive. According to an Ex-WoW player I once knew, in order to stop playing it all day every day, you have to uninstall it and destroy the disc.

    • jaxom_rahl

      9 years ago

      Never played Wow. I'm not THAT good at any of the D2 classes, but I'm not too bad, either. Until I get to act 3 on Nightmare mode. Then I get stuck and get tired of trying.

    • jaxom_rahl

      9 years ago

      Ah. My nephew likes Diablo 2. He's six. I was happy when he chose the Barbarian class, since that one's not reliant on spells, which I think he'd have a hard time with.

    • jaxom_rahl

      9 years ago

      I read somewhere that something like 63% of American families are dysfunctional. If that's true, then that makes us the majority. Which means it's the normal people who are the freaks. :D

      . . . What's this about a dead body?

    • vampireslaye

      9 years ago

      Sounds like me, only one woman at the time! Can I take over you first? =D

    • jaxom_rahl

      9 years ago

      Backup Plan? I prefer Blackup, myself.

    • 9mm_dealer

      9 years ago

      well, I'm from Indiana. So, yeah. lol

      And I'm glad you like the picture =]

    • vampireslaye

      9 years ago

      Oh I know the feeling, Ive been loosing some friends lately as well. =/ It sucks. So what plans you got for the future?

    • jaxom_rahl

      9 years ago

      All part of my MASTER PLAN .

    • Kooler

      9 years ago

      I do what I can

    • jaxom_rahl

      9 years ago

      I don't really believe in souls, so I the former seems unlikely to me. On the other hand, we do live in a very backwards, enigmatic universe. Our country reflects it.

      But if we're twins, then that would make it Wincest if we ever had sex. Then I could post about it on /b/, and then I would =GOD. Until the thread fell off of page 10 and everyone forgot about it.

    • jaxom_rahl

      9 years ago

      That's because I AM building an empire. The most devious, most evil, most emperialistic empire ever.

    • jaxom_rahl

      9 years ago

      Good. I have successfully spread my malevolent influence to yet another part of the world. >:D

    • jaxom_rahl

      9 years ago

      Just reprace arr your L's with R's.

    • jaxom_rahl

      9 years ago

      We'll have to go somewhere where cloning is legal. Like Korea. Except they don't like Americans there, so we have to pretend to be Korean.

      Just tark rike dis, and they'rr never know.

    • jaxom_rahl

      9 years ago

      We haven't cloned you yet.

    • jaxom_rahl

      9 years ago

      WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIT!!

    • jaxom_rahl

      9 years ago

      i c wut u did ther

      Alright, that'll work well.

    • jaxom_rahl

      9 years ago

      Why pinstriped?

    • jaxom_rahl

      9 years ago

      Sounds rike a pran.

      I still need someone to command my Elephant Corps, though.

    • jaxom_rahl

      9 years ago

      . . . Does that mean you're joining my army?

    • vampireslaye

      9 years ago

      Well I got my up and downs, currently studying to become a history teacher. =) Got no love life, my social life is going down the drain as Im too tired to do anything these days. So what have you been up to?

    • 9mm_dealer

      9 years ago

      READ THEM ALLLLLLLLLLLL lol I joke. I write a lot I guess

    • vampireslaye

      9 years ago

      Aww dear Allynn (I think thats how you spellt your name cause Ive forgotten *sorry face*), how are you doing these days? Missed you. =)

    • vampireslaye

      11 years ago

      Howdy hows it going with you these days? smiley1.gif

    • jaxom_rahl

      11 years ago

      RAWR!

      Hello. We haven't talked in like 5836 years.

      What do you think the world would be like without caffeine?

    • jaxom_rahl

      11 years ago

      Ello, ello. What are you up to?

    • jaxom_rahl

      11 years ago

      Haha. Drugs dont' remove the source of the stress, therefore it's only a temporary change, and they don't do anything benificial that can't be substituted for caffeine or video games.

    • jaxom_rahl

      11 years ago

      Yeah, I got to work. There's really not much else to do around here, other than drugs.

    • FRAGMONKEY09

      11 years ago

      i don't know...i was just mentioning a few guys that are straight and in Top 20...duh

    • jaxom_rahl

      11 years ago

      So it'll always be Christmas there. If you don't have anything else, you can always just give soemone sex as a present. =P

      MSN: maltosthedarksorcerer@msn.com

      Add me pl0x? Tired of using comments.

    • jaxom_rahl

      11 years ago

      But if we plant trees and grass and stuff, then it will be red and green, which look kickass together.

      Hey, you have MSN?

    • jaxom_rahl

      11 years ago

      Haha. I feel sorry for the few good people that get stuck in it though. Me and one of my other RvB friends are talking about moving to mars, only letting in cool bands, and hot bisexual chicks. ^.^

    • jaxom_rahl

      11 years ago

      Peanut butter? Haha. Reminds me of this song...

      But it is pretty pathetic that we care more about some asshole who, a 100 years ago would have just been thrown into a dirty little cell with very little food, than we do about kids who have the bad luck of being born poor.

    • jaxom_rahl

      11 years ago

      I think I should start a new religion; Carlinism. George Carlin has some great views. Coincidentally, Carlinism and Darwinism would have quite a bit in common.

      Seriously, some guy's convicted for rape and murder, and they're worried about giving him two minutes of pain? Shit, that douchebag experiences more pain than that every night when he gets assraped by his inmates. Meanwhile, they're breaking the Geniva Convention by tortoring POW's. The fuck is this shit? And they use sterile syringes, and swab the spot with alcohol first, so that no germs can get in. That stuff is to keep you from getting infections, which take longer to form than that shit takes to kill someone. Just use the same damn needle every time, It'll cut down on the cost, and squirt whatever's cheap into his jugular. Or better yet, tie him up and let his victim's family have a few hours of quality time with him.

    • jaxom_rahl

      11 years ago

      Well, I find that any music that I like will make me feel better if I'm pissed off, though some work better than others. There is a theory in psychology that venting rage in "socially acceptable" ways isn't effective, because it doesn't remove the source of the stress, and it may eventually just not be enough anymore.

    • 9mm_dealer

      11 years ago

      I'm shaking in my boots

    • 9mm_dealer

      11 years ago

      I'm scared

    • jaxom_rahl

      11 years ago

      I've lost a lot of stuff in my room over the years, ranging from legos to action figures to books...But never any food. XD

    • jaxom_rahl

      11 years ago

      Here, have some Nightwish.

      The live version of this song sounds a little better on disk for some reason...

    • 9mm_dealer

      11 years ago

      haha I can feel your jealousy smiley0.gif

    • 9mm_dealer

      11 years ago

      I love them. Going to see them this year at the Warped Tour.

    • jaxom_rahl

      11 years ago

      Well, shit.

      Drink a couple Rockstars and watch some RvB.

    • jaxom_rahl

      11 years ago

      Hmm...Drink a whole pot of coffee, then watch some Monty Python. That outta cheer you up.

    • jaxom_rahl

      11 years ago

      Haha. I listen to music like 49 hours a day. Except while at work, they won't let my use my iPod there anymore... smiley7.gif

      I'm playing with legos. Ninjas and pirates make a really good combination.

      Got any of your weird questions for me today?

    • jaxom_rahl

      11 years ago

      Mail yourself to Arizona and we can play with them together. =P

      So, anywho, what are you up to?

    • jaxom_rahl

      11 years ago

      Music is a good topic. That's also one I'd probably not have a hard time with.


      Guess what! I regressed five years, so now I have legos again. They're even more fun than I remembered. ^.^

    • jaxom_rahl

      11 years ago

      No, I don't look this up. Most of it is just logic, or logical application of common knowlage, though some of it is random crap I picked up while looking up other stuff. I'm horrible at researching, so if someone can beat what I just happen to know, I'm kinda fucked arguementwise.

    • jaxom_rahl

      11 years ago

      Iteresting concept, with the flaw being that Islam existed long before Christianity, and kept records. As did Paganism, which was then wiped out by "Christ's eternal love". He loved them so much, he just had to have his followers slaughter them.

      I think if we hadn't thought of god, if we'd just managed to start science instead, we would have been just as brutal, merely competing for dominance of different theories. People can get very worked up argueing on behalf of something like say, evolution.

      Or maybe it would be merely nationality. Within known history, (At least as far as I know.) native Americans never fought eachother over religion, it was purely territorial, and while very few of them were the savages the whites portrayed them as, a lot of them would wipe out another tribe at the first sign of weakness. It wasn't really any better or worse than christians killing muslims.

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