mcgarry5

Male
from Ottawa, Ontario, Canada

  • Activity

    • Testify

      8 years ago

      mcgarry5

      He's rapping what we've all been thinking,.

    • This...

      8 years ago

      mcgarry5

      ...may be the most brilliant bit I've ever seen.

    • I'm not going to lie...

      8 years ago

      mcgarry5

      This made me tear up a little bit. And then run for my wallet.

    • Simply put:

      8 years ago

      mcgarry5

      THIS JUST HAPPENED

    • This week's life goal...

      8 years ago

      mcgarry5

      30k gamerscore. Reach for the sky, I says.

    • This remains...

      8 years ago

      mcgarry5

      ...my all-time favourite story of publicly putting an asshole in their place. For all the times I've flapped my big gums at somebody, I have never managed to pull off anything nearly as righteous as this.
      One of my favourite comedians and podcasts...er, other than DrunkTank, of course.

      That is all.

    • Dear Loud, Obnoxious Lady on my Bus

      8 years ago

      mcgarry5

      I would like to thank you for wearing the ankle-length, purple fur coat while you power-dragged three cigarettes in my face at the bus stop the other morning.
      I was afraid that I was running out of reasons to fucking loath you.

      Best regards,
      mcgarry5

    • Ze Filter, She is Off

      8 years ago

      mcgarry5

      Dear Rooster Teeth Community Website,

      I don't think I've mentioned this before, but my wife is out the country right now. Okay, slow down, kids, I don't mean that in the sense of “Daddy went to the store for a pack of cigarettes and only came back when he needed a kidney”. I mean she's out of the country, for a while, but all indications are that she's coming back – and yes, to me. Admittedly, she did write a “Dear John” letter (okay, email, because this isn't 1944 and I'm not landing on Juno Beach), but that is sort of unavoidable when it's your first name, so I've learned to read to the bottom first.

      Anyway, she's out, and I'm alone, and here we are. I have noticed small differences in day-to-day life now that she's gone. For one, the house now resembles a tumbleweed with floors – then again, some of the filth has evolved to the point where it fills the niche of yelling at me for getting pee on the floor, so maybe it's not so different. Look, this thing ain't exactly a sniper rifle. Sometimes good intentions just don't get the job done.

      Sorry, sorry, this is between me and the filth.

      I have detected other differences. Most telling, of course, is that apparently my internal filter has been shut down for the duration.

      I didn't realize the extent that my wife governed the On/Off switch on that bad boy, but clearly she single-handedly had responsibility for stopping me from mouthing off to random strangers. For instance, she never would have let this happen: I'm in the parking lot of the local groceria, and, like my mama raised me, I make the uphill-both-ways trek to the nearest buggy shelter (buggy shelter? This is why I only write on this website) to return my shopping cart. As I get back to my car, the guy parked next to me looks up and says “Hey, you know you can just leave it here. Nobody cares.” To which I reply “Yeah, but I don't want to be an asshole”, whereupon my blinkered vision expands to see that this guy has clearly just gotten through pushing his cart out into the empty parking lot. The look I got would have blistered skin, had I not been busy trying to shrink to the size of a pea..

      Exhibit B: I'm in another parking lot (and no, I don't care to examine how much of my life is spent in parking lots, thank you), driving merrily along when a guy cuts through the parking spaces and nearly smacks into the side of me. I park, get out, and run into him getting out of his car. He looks at me and says “Heh, didn't see you there. Almost hit you”. Now, I've spent the last 30 seconds cursing his very soul, so instead of ignoring his unparalleled grasp of the perfectly obvious, making a noncommittal grunt and moving along, I come out with “Well, that'll happen when you're a dumbass”. By the time he starts to splutter out a reply, luckily, my brain has caught up with my mouth and used my feet to run away.

      While I'm at it: I'm on the bus, coming home from the daily nail-pulling that passes for my job. I get the window seat, as I always do, and shortly I am joined by what can only be described as the bottom of someone's shoe given human form. This...woman?...proceeds to have a cell conversation so loud that it completely drowns out Chris Hardwick talking to Jimmy Pardo in my headphones. And clearly she's having an argument, and clearly she's not winning that argument, and clearly this displeases her. This carries on pretty much all the way to my stop, which is a good half hour. As we near my (heaven sent) exit, my BFF hangs up and I seize the opportunity to excuse myself so she'll move and finally enable my escape. To this, I am rewarded with an eye roll and exasperated sigh more appropriate to my asking her if I could borrow a pint of blood. *Click goes my mouth safety, and the words “Wow, pretty and a great personality, too” trip lightly from my lips. Luckily, the time it takes her to draw in enough breath to begin shouting at me is the time I use to tuck and roll towards the now-open doors.

      Let me stress for the record that none of these things would have happened had my wife been with me, or even in the same time zone. And you know why it is, the end? Do you know why I fight the uphill struggle to keep my trap shut most of the time? Basically, at the core of it, I worship the woman and I don't want to embarrass her by making her have to beat somebody up because I got lippy at the Best Buy.

      Mercifully, this state of affairs won't last forever. A short 7 months and my wife will be back in my waiting arms, carefully monitoring each and every word I say to ensure that I don't get my ass kicked. She'll be back..

      No, really, she will.

      Right after she gets those cigarettes.

      Best regards,
      mcgarry5

    • 8 years ago

      mcgarry5
  • Comments (4)

    • OboeCrazy FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Freelancer

      8 years ago

      LOL yes, I'm a Buffalo native (originally from Orchard Park in the southtowns). If you want to talk NF you need to talk to my roomate ChurchsWife, as she is more familiar with that....uh....neck of the woods.

    • OboeCrazy FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Freelancer

      8 years ago

      That video....I just...I don't....but....


      I have lost faith in the younger generation.

    • Robotrek

      8 years ago

      Hey, did you hear already about tonights Monday night lunar eclipse, it is supposed to be a full eclipse of the moon, I am not totally sure when it is supposed to be visible for all of us here in the central time zone, but I think it is supposed to begin around 11pm "approx" first the moon will turn sort of orange and then go black, and it will be a long time before it comes back out again, it will be cool.

      info about the eclipse can eb read here...http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/December_2010_lunar_eclipse

    • tosha52

      8 years ago

      the person who keeps playboys as coffee table mags is Drew Carey the actor

  • Questions

    No questions have been answered yet