i misses thisd splace soo much <3
10 years agomod517
Church: Then she beat Jimmy to death with his own skull.
Tucker: What? That doesn't seem physically possible.
Church: That's exactly what Jimmy kept screaming.
[cut to Planet Sidewinder. Tex is beating Jimmy with his own skull]
Pvt. Jimmy: This doesn't seem physically possible!
[grunts and dies]
[Tucker is showing Donut his energy sword]
Donut: Wow, that's great! I like the glowing part. Ooh, does it make cool noises when you swing it?
Tucker: I don't think so. No, wait, is "whoosh" a noise? Because if it is, then yes. It goes, "Whoosh whoosh, whoosh, wsh wsh, wsh-ch-ch, chw chw, whsh-chsh, chsh-chsh-chww, whshhh, sh-sh-shing!, fring!, whshhh, whww".
[he swings the sword, and it makes a whooshing sound]
Donut: And you found that in a hole?
Tucker: Yeah, dude, I was just walking along, following Tex... not really paying attention, you know. I fell in some hole. And, ah, Tex didn't help me out, she figured she was better off without me, and that's where I found this.
Donut: You know, most people would tell that story in a way that makes them sound a little better.
Tucker: Yeah, but, you know, that's not really my style.
[the Blue team has agreed to send their Medic over as a hostage]
Church: OK. We're gonna send over our Medic. Now, what do we get?
Simmons: You? You're surrendering! You don't get anything except humiliation and ridicule!
Tucker: We've already got that! What else do you have?
Church: I was sittin' there talkin' to Gary, and...
Tex: The bomb?
Church: No that's Andy, Gary is the computer.
Tex: Neh, I don't even remember most of your names half the time.
Caboose: I know my name! You can ask me, if you forget.
Church: Hey, can we please focus on me?
Caboose: By the way, he's Church.
Church: Yes, thank you Caboose, she knows.
Caboose: He is the mean one.
Church: Thank you, Caboose.
Caboose: See, he is mad. Now he'll just stare at me until I stop talking, then, when he thinks I am done talking, then he will start talking again.
Church: ...okay. I was talking to Gary and...
Caboose: Told you so!
Caboose: Classic Church.
Tucker: I wonder if a ghost can have an aneurism.
Tucker: Ha-ha-ha-ha! Some slimy-toothed monster scared the crap out of Church! Ha-ha!
Tex: He didn't scare the crap out of him. He scared the *soul* out of him.
Tucker: Oh, it's Church. What's the difference? His soul is made out of crap... stupid crap-for-soul!
Church: For all I know, he's in there chewing on my body right now.
Tex: Well... then let's go get this big 'thing' of yours.
Tex: Oh, shut up.
Church: Shut up, Tucker.
Tucker: Somebody call for a really hairy plumber? Bow-chicka-bow-wow!
Church: Tucker! Shut up.
Tucker: I came here to lay some pipe... bow-chicka-bow-wow!
Tucker: So I hear you've got sisters - bow-chicka - who are twins - bow-wow!
Church: Shut up...
Tucker: Hey, are you a model or famous actress? Bow-chicka-bow-wow!
Church: Shut up!
Tucker: [continues to do the guitar riff]
Church: Shut up. Shut up! Shut... up!...
Tucker: Bow Chicka Bow Wow.
Tucker: We haven't seen that alien thing come out so it's probably still hiding in there.
Caboose: Or, eating Church
Tex: All right, lets roll.
Church: Okay, here we go.
Tucker: ...Uhh we're not moving.
Church: Yea, yea, okay... here we go.
Tucker: We're still not moving.
Caboose: Does talking count as moving?
Tex: All right, screw it. You guys get behind me and stay tight...
Tex: Never mind, Tucker's in front.
Tucker: Eh, it was worth it.
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