neatoburrito

Male
from Pflugerville, TX

  • Activity

    • List ten rules you live your life by

      in Forums > List ten rules you live your life by | Follow this topic

      neatoburrito

      Simple thread. List ten rules that you follow in your own life. Put some thought into it. My rules may have come out preachier than I wanted them too, so don't think that I am telling you how to live your life. These are just rules that I try to follow because they work for me. YMMV.

      1. Whenever you meet or are introduced to someone new, (male or female) look them in they eye and give them a firm handshake. Firm is important, but make sure you aren't trying to be a jackass and crush their hand. Say "Hello, X. It's nice to meet you." Nod. Remember their name.

      2. Don't call a girl sooner than three days after you get a number. Three days (or more) later, call sometime in the early evening. If she doesn't answer or respond to your message, wait a day until calling again. If you don't receive a return call after three tries, she is not interested and you should never call her again.

      3. At the grocery store: Shop for dry/canned goods first, fresh produce second, and frozen foods last. When checking out, place cans, gallons of milk/juice, and other uncrushables on the conveyor belt first. Place things that are softer after that and anything easily crushed after that. It makes it easier for the baggers.

      4. On tipping: the 15% rule is bupkis. If you tip $1.50 on a $10 tab, you are a cheap bastard and your server hates you. If your service was good, leave at least $3-$4 on a small tab. For larger tabs, 15% is the absolute minimum for even half-assed service. I try to tip as well as possible, and $10 on a $35 bill would be about par for the course for me. At the bar, $1/drink is as low as you should go.

      5. Cigarettes are okay if you only smoke when you drink. Unless you drink in the morning.

      6. Exercise at least once a week, even only if it involves walking around the block for twenty minutes. Seriously, if you skip Dharma & Greg just once a week, you can do wonders for your health. If you can do more than that, alternate aerobic exercise (walking/jogging) days with anaerobic exercise (weight lifting/resistance training) days.

      7. Take lots and lots of pictures. Save all of them. Your memory is not as good as you think it is, and you can learn good life lessons by just looking at old pictures and trying to remember what your thought process was back in the day. Realize what bad desicions you made back then and why, and avoid making the same mistakes.

      8. Use correct spelling and grammar. Even on the internet.

      9. Open doors for girls.

      10. Always, always, always say please and thank you.

      68 replies

    • MS Paint THE HAND on vacation

      in Forums > MS Paint THE HAND on vacation | Follow this topic

      neatoburrito

      As we all know, THE HAND has been hard at work these past couple of weeks to make sure you morons don't abuse a system that hands out imaginary popularity points. Pretty soon, he's going to need a rest from all this work. Therefore, let's all draw THE HAND on vacation so he can get ideas for where he wants to go when the time comes. Here, THE HAND is enjoying a lovely ski resort vacation in Colorado... now you do one!

      handonvacation.gif

      43 replies

    • Hey, fuckbuckets! The rules still apply

      in Forums > Hey, fuckbuckets! The rules still apply | Follow this topic

      neatoburrito

      We have a good group of people with the knowledge to help you with your hardware/software related queries going on here, but I have noticed a couple of trends that bother me. I'm going to lay some rules down to ensure that everyone gets the help they're looking for, because we all know that dealing with a problem you can't fix on your own can be very frustrating.

      1. We can't help you if we don't know what your setup is.
      When you post, please explain all relevant system specs. If applicable, this will usually include the OS you are running, motherboad, video card, sound card, CPU, and type of RAM. If you are need help with a specific piece of hardware, tell who the manufacturer is and the model number. This information will be somewhere on the equipment itself.

      2. Before asking for help, ensure all your software/firmware is up to date.
      Always make sure you have the latest drivers for everything you have problems with. This includes (but is not limited to) Windows/Linux updates, game patches, codecs, video/sound card drivers, and the latest firmware updates for hardware. This may not always fix your problem, but it will at least let us rule out that kind of problem.

      3. Avoid using internet shorthand, improper grammar, and bad spelling.
      This is not your Counterstrike clan/Anime tentacle penis rape fanboy forum. Please try to use clear and concise language when asking for help, as it makes the proccess easier for everone involved.

      Incorrect: "OMG my comp is borken n i need 2 fix it 2day 4 my homewerk pls hlp."
      Correct: "My computer is not working as it should, and I need help finding my essay on the effects of heroin withdrawl in Peruvian spider monkies that's due tomorrow. Could anyone offer assistance?"

      If anyone else can think of more guidelines for posting in here that I forgot, feel free to shoot me a PM, and I'll post it here. Please help make your stay here a pleasant experience for everybody, and people here will do their utmost to help you out.

      -NB 8)

      21 replies

    • Macs: General Discussion

      in Forums > Macs: General Discussion | Follow this topic

      neatoburrito

      This thread is for:

      - Tips and tricks
      - Links to good Mac software
      - Troubleshooting
      - Any other discussion about Macintosh products

      This thread is not for:

      - Any PC vs Mac debate. Period.

      Anyone found in violation will be subject to a refreshing bitchslap to their mouf.

      80 replies

    • 2019 years ago

      neatoburrito
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      neatoburrito
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  • Comments (652)

    • Lonewolf90

      13 years ago

      Humans Last Stand

    • Lonewolf90

      13 years ago

      here's better than a dollar

      Final1999$10SnBL00002040A.jpg

    • Lonewolf90

      13 years ago

      u want the dollar made out cash or check?

    • jaly223

      13 years ago

      Here is a dancing Spidey for you.

      spiderman116_spideydancing.gif

    • quickstop

      13 years ago

      smiley12.gif

    • simon4403

      13 years ago

      damn, i'm from the UK, errr, crap- i need more friends, i need them *cue dieing cucumber sound* neeeeeeeed thhhhhhemmmmmmmmmm

    • Seraph_Six

      13 years ago

      neatopickle.jpg

      USE IT

    • icehcky8

      13 years ago

      A dollar, eh? Well if I'm ever in Austin, TX or if you ever come around my home(s), Notre Dame (when I'm at school) or St. Louis (when I'm at home), I'll give it to you then smiley12.gif .

    • Illm_caboose

      13 years ago

      HMMMM dollar dollar dollar....will these work i couldnt find a dollar
      moneyshotbig.jpg

    • lxl1NSAN3lxl

      13 years ago

      Here's your DOLLAR!
      dollar17eq.jpg

    • Caboose11749

      13 years ago

      want to be friends

    • triptup

      13 years ago

      i'd rather give it to the guy on the corner...

    • BlAcKjAk

      13 years ago

      ill send you a real dollar

    • Seraph_Six

      13 years ago

      Best. Pickle. Ever.

    • inuyashablk

      13 years ago

      here's an iou

    • Goldie_5

      13 years ago

      lol heres your dollar
      dollar.jpg
      lol

    • sawdust64

      13 years ago

      ok heres is a dollar

      DOLLAR

      print it out and go try and use

    • quikthnkr

      13 years ago

      Hope you don't mind me spamming your comments page.

      My first movie was released on Halo.Bungie.Org today. Here is the listing that the great and powerful Louis Wu put on the front page of HBO.


      "Death by Misadventure
      Quikthnkr has put together a rather sizeable machinima - it's called Death by Misadventure, and it's just over 25 minutes long. It has a number of things going for it - kickass original music (John Gold's opening song 'Randy' is GREAT, and Katy Mae's 'Safe and Sound' was a snug fit for the end of the film), a solid plot, good filming and some fun humor. We're hosting BitTorrent downloads of the original WMP9 version of this film (95.2 mb) and a re-encoded QuickTime version (92.2 mb) - if you can play it, the quality on the WMP9 is better, though the QuickTime is certainly watchable. Please - remember to leave your BT windows open, to share the love! (Louis Wu 05:11:31 UTC)"

      Regular links in a few days. Watch it. Visit the musicians who contributed at their sites and show them some love for supporting machinima. Buy some of their stuff if you like it. Then come and tell me what you think of the film at my clans forum (www.eradacators.com)... or here. WOOOOT!

      Direct links to the WMP9 version are now available. Thanks to Roland and Breakpoint for the generous bandwidth.

      halo.bungie.org/news.html?item=14219

    • spikep

      13 years ago

      RvB.com the best place on earth!

    • Amanda

      13 years ago

      Kraftwerk, fucking yes

    • xR4P3x

      13 years ago

      u suck u nigger

    • shadowuk2004

      13 years ago

      *thinks of a way to send $1*


      meh screw it

    • 888DALEJR

      13 years ago

      15 Things To Do At WallMart
      1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in
      peoples carts when they aren't looking.

      2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off
      at 5-minute intervals.

      3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading
      to the rest rooms.

      4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an
      official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares.... and see
      what happens.

      5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's
      on lay away.

      6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted
      area.

      7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell
      other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll
      bring pillows from the bedding department.

      8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to
      cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me
      alone?'

      9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a
      mirror, and pick your nose.

      10. While handling guns in the hunting department,
      ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-
      depressants are.

      11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming
      the "Mission Impossible" theme.

      12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna
      look" using different size funnels.

      13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse
      through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

      14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker,
      assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's
      those voices again!!!!"

      ( And; last, but not least!)

      15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait
      a while; and, then, yell, very loudly, "There is no
      toilet paper in here!"

    • Desertfox24

      13 years ago

      LOL
      th9ftbn7.gif

    • Desertfox24

      13 years ago

      GRRRRR LOL
      1327b3a1.gif

    • BloodGultch3

      13 years ago

      1dollar??? hahaa

    • 4EverAltered

      13 years ago

      no1's dollar compares 2 my bushbill!!!!!

    • 4EverAltered

      13 years ago

      wanna dollar?
      bushbill.gif

    • Desertfox24

      13 years ago

      wat you've been up to Neato?

    • SpaZMonKeY

      13 years ago

      Your one lucky guy if all them friends gave you a dollar smiley6.gif

    • Desertfox24

      13 years ago

      Heyo wassabi?

    • Cabose_Rocks

      13 years ago

      no i want my 40 back

    • HaloHero23

      13 years ago

      Hey are friends in the future, heres my money, for friendship.
      360H3copy.jpg

    • monkeychief7

      13 years ago

      sup dude

    • XboX360eR

      14 years ago

      It would work for me.

    • Achlime

      14 years ago

      p10057838wy.jpg
      I know $AU150 doesnt quite match up to an Amercian $1.00 but... is it good enough?

    • too_much_4_u

      14 years ago

      Here u go
      dollar_1.gif
      Hands u a dollar

    • weakknight

      14 years ago

      i would pay a dollar you seem cool but i'm not allowed to spend more than ninety eight cents a day smiley4.gif

    • MJOLNIRarmor

      14 years ago

      Itchy Beard! haha...awesome title... smiley8.gif

    • 00germX_01

      14 years ago

      damn!!! did you do that?

    • VICECITY55

      14 years ago

      do you live in texas?

    • kaser

      14 years ago

      it's my birthday i turned 18 :)

    • tyguy101a

      14 years ago

      i made a video to compete with phorpus' rvb tv thing. its really short and really shitty...but your dog is in it so uhhh... heres the link.

      tylerager.com/media/bvrtv.wmv

    • mel

      14 years ago

      What if I donated that dollar to the Red Cross....does that count as well?

    • bolbol

      14 years ago

      $1? I paid Max $10 to be my friend. you aren't charging enough :D

    • MUSTARDMAN24

      14 years ago

      I think saying I'll be your friend for a dollar was a bad idea.-

    • mikeyfell

      14 years ago

      i got 96cents is that ok

    • KILLBOT4000

      14 years ago

      Dude! Not only did you get money but you got a Lizard and a ruler.
      Now that's cool.

    • animeman409

      14 years ago

      both.jpg
      hhhhh.jpg
      charlie-08.jpg

      apu4.jpg
      Just be my friend thats all I got

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