pandson89

Male
from Fort walton Beach FLORIDA

  • Activity

    • my sacrifice

      13 years ago

      pandson89

      thoughts of others not mine
      my mind is under a new control
      missing chunks of time

      i am your puppet
      slowly i pick off your enemys
      sure and masterfull

      lowly peons in your army
      constant war over my own mind
      losing many battles

      my delusions grow
      more elabrate neverending
      my mind is my prison

      a continuous fight
      wanting to end it for good
      but holding on still

      day by day i weaken
      his grip tightens never losening
      i worry about you

      what happens if i end it
      will you breakdown and cry
      what am i to do

      this world playing me
      traped in my parinoia
      my dark cell within

      the darkness grows stronger
      if only your light could cure me
      a source of purity

      i fall to its power
      i'm no longer in control
      watching my world unravel

      falling to pieces
      never wanting to stare
      acting in the moment

      i fight for control
      the demons are powerfull
      my deeds have caught up

      they fuel the fire
      a fire tearing my life apart
      alienating me from you

      cruilty ruins you
      your beauty wither because of me
      i say nothing for years

      this war nears its end
      his grip is sliping day by day
      you support me

      my mind is in shambles
      a wreak of thoughts not mine
      a desasterpiece

      one by one
      my thought turn to darkness
      a gun in my hand

      an emptyness fills me
      i drove you away from me
      its now loaded

      i write my last words down
      i call and tell you its not your fault
      explain i will always love you

      i leave it all to you
      i make the demons fear me now
      cowering before me they beg

      i have control
      to stop them from tormenting others
      i must end it now

      raised and aimed i prepare
      i tell god i'm on my way to heaven
      finally myself agian i pull the trigger

      i wonder the city
      invisble to all wtching you
      waiting for your visit

      you drive by everyday
      but you never stop to say you miss me
      patiently i wait

      you blame yourself
      each mourning you read my note
      "it's not your fault baby"

      you belive me not
      many years later you weaken
      the thoughts strike you

      what if i were there
      could i have stoped him
      what do i live for

      you completed my soul
      without you i am false
      never to be whole

      agian i watch you
      as you stare deep in thought
      i stare into your eyes

      i miss the warmth
      you never let me get cold inside
      i have made my choice

      as you grow old
      i wait for the day when we meet agian
      the day you've waited for

      you have finally visited
      i'm so happy to see you've come
      you cry over my grave

      i long to hold you
      to make you happy once more
      you leave roses

      days later an accident
      they rush you to the O.R.
      i wait with the living

      i can't bear to watch
      you survived but you have changed
      now you visit everyday

      you pray now unlike before
      for what you pray i don't know
      but i like that you do

      stuck with what i've done
      my ghost life is better than what it ws
      my mind is my own

      my thoughts are of you
      and what i wanted to have with you
      i plea with god

      56 years after my death
      i finally get into heaven
      but wait i say

      god may i ask a question
      with his yes i finally ask him
      will she get in

      he looks at me
      i fear the worst from him
      still hes silent

      then he finally says
      im sorry my son no she won't
      i cry for her

      i make a decision
      i say to god may she take my place
      he looks at me for a while

      are you sure my son
      i replie yes im positive
      this is what i want

      god sets forth my request
      but he says i can never get in agian
      but you may visit

      and for my sacrifice
      i finaly may reunite with her
      that is my truth

    • xbox connect party

      13 years ago

      pandson89

      okay anyone with an xbox connect name is welcome to play the rules for playing are simple
      1 to leave ur gamertag here
      2 have fun
      3 find the room called pandson89's big party
      4 the party starts at 7 and gose tell whenever i switch the leader over and then until no ones left
      5 the party stats at 7 my time hint i live in new england so thats east coast time
      (6 pm central and 5 pm west coast)

      the party stars saturday at the time above (2marrow)

      EDIT THE PARTY HAS BEEN DELAYED UNTIL NEXT SATURDAY

    • XBconnect

      in Forums > XBconnect | Follow this topic

      pandson89

      sup this is a thread for anyone who wants to find people on rvb to play agianst and one that i will use to help explain and show where to get it and how to use it
      XBconnect is a free software used to play any online xbox game for free
      i will keep an updated constantly list of players from rvb and their gamer tags from xbc

      the list
      rvb name________________gamertag
      pandson89______________ pandason89

      8 replies

    • the winner is

      13 years ago

      pandson89

      the winner is DEIFAN2006 his sponsership will arive when ever jj gets on

    • round 3 read the rules

      13 years ago

      pandson89

      round three all out war only one winner this round started early because the last round i had to ask people to vote to get votes cause it was dry for 2 days
      1. people can vote twice per day but not for yourself if u do u will automaticlly lose EX. X2 Pandson89 or Pandason89,Sirkillalot2
      2. u can vote additional times for a mod a vote
      3.u can use anyway u want to obtian votes including opaque ,kharma , and anyone one of the top 5 most modded
      4. any mods used to vote will go towards the next contest so vote
      5.the one with then most votes winns
      6. if u wanna just pay me 130 mods i'll help get u sponsered or u can wait and try to winn it

      so far with the mod votes and donations i have raise 39 mods towards the next contest thanxs for ur extra votes which starts when this one ends so if u lose just keep watching for the next one to start
      contests fully payed for by donation: 1

      1)DEIFAN2006 43 votes
      2)bl00dhound 9 vote
      3)foxfoxkai
      4)alienembrio
      5)Grif_rules12 2 votes
      6)deathhappens
      7)Matrix_Man
      8)EvilCanadian
      9)Sambo2020
      10)blitzplayer
      11)tweek0312
      12)thesadhipo
      13)kenny117
      14)KishaDragon
      15)big_texan_69
      16)thecamba
      17)808
      18)Deifanjr2006
      19)skitzokid420
      20)drunknduelin[/is
      21)rightinthree
      22)GuitarChik13
      23)Joe_The_Mod
      24)Alpha2zulu
      25)sirkillalot2
      26)white_coco
      27)ooki_sama
      28)howaminotmys
      29)gamerfreak47
      30)apdonohue
      31)cAbondy

      plz vote brock88 X2 here

    • round 2 elimination round

      13 years ago

      pandson89

      okay round two has started so vote
      this is an elimination round so the 5 people with the most votes will lose and the 5 with the least votes win the round and advanced
      1. one vote per day
      2. u can vote additional times for a mod a vote
      3.u can use anyway u want to obtian votes except opaque ,kharma , and anyone one of the top 5 most modded
      4. any mods used to vote will go towards the next contest so vote
      5.the top 5 will advance
      6. if u wanna just pay me 130 mods i'll help get u sponsered or u can wait and try to winn it

      so far with the mod votes and donations i have raise 100 (1 contest infull) mods towards the next contest thanxs for ur extra votes which starts when this one ends so if u lose just keep watching for the next one to start

      due to people not understanding what this round is i stared it over so the following people have free votes
      dac32123 +4 free votes
      deifan +2 free votes
      alienembrio +1 free vote(used to remove the vote on him)
      bob_long +1 free vote

      1)DEIFAN2006
      2)foxfoxkai
      3)bl00dhound 4 votes
      4)alienembrio 5 votes
      5)Grif_rules12 6 votes
      6)deathhappens 16 votes
      7)Matrix_Man 9 votes
      8)EvilCanadian 7 votes
      9)Sambo2020 7 votes
      10)blitzplayer 7 votes
      11)tweek0312
      12)thesadhipo
      13)kenny117
      14)KishaDragon
      15)big_texan_69
      16)thecamba
      17)808
      18)Deifanjr2006
      19)skitzokid420
      20)drunknduelin[/is
      21)rightinthree
      22)GuitarChik13
      23)Joe_The_Mod
      24)Alpha2zulu
      25)sirkillalot2
      26)white_coco
      27)ooki_sama
      28)howaminotmys
      29)gamerfreak47
      30)apdonohue
      31)cAbondy

      plz vote brock88 X2 here

    • sponsership contest round one

      13 years ago

      pandson89

      first round is now started so vote this round ends friday whenever i feel like getting on okay
      rules
      1. one vote per day
      2. u can vote additional times for a mod a vote
      3.u can use anyway u want to obtian votes except opaque ,kharma , and anyone one of the top 5 most modded
      4. any mods used to vote will go towards the next contest so vote
      5.the top 10 will advance
      6. if u wanna just pay me 130 mods i'll help get u sponsered or u can wait and try to winn it

      so far with the mod votes and donations i have raise 56 mods towards the next contest thanxs for ur extra votes which starts when this one ends so if u lose just keep watching for the next one to start

      1)deathhappens 59 votes
      2)Matrix_Man 39 votes
      3)alienembrio 15 votes
      4)Grif_rules12 7 votes
      5)blitzplayer 3 votesthesadhipo
      6)EvilCanadian 3 votes
      7)Sambo2020 1 vote
      8)DEIFAN2006 1 vote
      9)808
      10)thecamba
      11)tweek0312
      12)thesadhipo
      13)kenny117
      14)KishaDragon
      15)big_texan_69
      16)bl00dhound but can not lose first round but can't win
      17)foxfoxkai entered late due to comp problems
      18)Deifanjr2006
      19)skitzokid420
      20)drunknduelin
      21)rightinthree
      22)GuitarChik13
      23)Joe_The_Mod
      24)Alpha2zulu
      25)sirkillalot2
      26)white_coco
      27)ooki_sama
      28)howaminotmys
      29)gamerfreak47
      30)apdonohue
      31)cAbondy

    • sponsership contest acceptance round

      13 years ago

      pandson89

      this is not a voting round this is a acceptance journal
      this is to see who dosn't want to be in it and who dose all nomines are to post in this journal no one else
      this round will last until every nominie has stated they want in or out of the contest ok hope they post quick

      IF U WANT TO BE IN U MUST WATCH ME ASWELL SO U KNOW WHEN ROUNDS START AND UPDATES R POSTED

      these are who is nominated so far

      1)apdonohue
      2)rightinthree
      3)thecamba
      4)Sambo2020
      5)thesadhipo
      6)KishaDragon
      7)EvilCanadian
      8)Alpha2zulu
      9)Joe_The_Mod
      10)sirkillalot2
      11)tweek0312
      12)blitzplayer
      13)foxfoxkai
      14)Grif_rules12
      15)big_texan_69
      16)bl00dhound but can not lose first round but can't win
      17)DEIFAN2006
      18)Deifanjr2006
      19)ooki_sama
      20)white_coco
      21)Matrix_Man
      22)GuitarChik13
      23)808
      24)kenny117
      25)alienembrio
      26)drunknduelin
      27)skitzokid420
      28)howaminotmys
      29)gamerfreak47
      30)deathhappens
      31)cAbondy

    • jacks memorial sponsership contest

      13 years ago

      pandson89

      okay this is the nominatioxns round so here are the rules okay\

      1 u can nominate three people but plz do it in one post not three
      2this round will end friday okay
      3 don't start telling people to vote for u or u wil get kicked out okay
      4 this is a 3 round contest and no i won't add a fourth round for fun like foxfoxkai did to me and deifan2006

      so lets get this started and there is only first place nothing esle so only non sponsered people can enter( ucan nominate ur self if ur not sponsered and asusman is already sponsered so plz don't nominate him)

      lets get it started and go

      these are who is nominated so far

      1)apdonohue
      2)rightinthree
      3)thecamba
      4)Sambo2020
      5)thesadhipo
      6)KishaDragon
      7)EvilCanadian
      8)Alpha2zulu
      9)Joe_The_Mod
      10)sirkillalot2
      11)tweek0312
      12)blitzplayer
      13)foxfoxkai
      14)Grif_rules12
      15)big_texan_69
      16)bl00dhound
      17)DEIFAN2006
      18)Deifanjr2006
      19)ooki_sama
      20)white_coco
      21)Matrix_Man
      22)GuitarChik13
      23)808
      24)kenny117
      25)alienembrio
      26)drunknduelin
      27)skitzokid420
      28)howaminotmys

    • jacks memorial sponsership contest

      13 years ago

      pandson89

      okay this is the nominatioxns round so here are the rules okay\

      1 u can nominate three people but plz do it in one post not three
      2this round will end friday okay
      3 don't start telling people to vote for u or u wil get kicked out okay
      4 this is a 3 round contest and no i won't add a fourth round for fun like foxfoxkai did to me and deifan2006

      so lets get this started and there is only first place nothing esle so only non sponsered people can enter( ucan nominate ur self if ur not sponsered and asusman is already sponsered so plz don't nominate him)

      lets get it started and go

  • Comments (852)

    • Caboose215

      13 years ago

      sort of Paranormal creepy shit the previous chapters are in my journal

    • Caboose215

      13 years ago

      u want to be in my story?

    • NFSMW

      13 years ago

      Sad, mine exists only as a memory...

    • NFSMW

      13 years ago

      Only a heart as torn as mine would understand, my girlfriend and I, we have the same kind of heart.

    • NFSMW

      13 years ago

      Good sense of humor too, you'll never know true love like I do, but you're worthy. Congrats, have fun.

    • NFSMW

      13 years ago

      Very good, you learn faster than the dogs...one question, how badly do you love my sis?

    • NFSMW

      13 years ago

      Shutup. Say cute, not hot.

    • NFSMW

      13 years ago

      Both, I guess...

    • NFSMW

      13 years ago

      I see you're my sis's new boyfriend...be nice...we'll see how long you last...and here's 2 mods if you tell off the bastards tryin to claim her.

    • aerfox

      13 years ago

      LOL

    • aerfox

      13 years ago

      alright I'm done

    • aerfox

      13 years ago

      alright
      hitlercar.jpg

    • aerfox

      13 years ago

      hitler_sex.jpg

    • aerfox

      13 years ago

      HHISWYDT.jpg

    • Free_Hat

      13 years ago

      thxs

    • whatchu

      13 years ago

      did you ever get my message about the pictures I liked?
      yeah that's cool

      Post edited 5/16/06 5:15PM

    • whatchu

      13 years ago

      nope, never got it

    • princeofpork

      13 years ago

      Oh yer, it's cool.

      Im off to bed now, night

      Cock

    • princeofpork

      13 years ago

      Practise, that's all it is. I've been doing it a year and a half and I'm not brilliant at it. Just look up tutorials on google if u need to do something

    • princeofpork

      13 years ago

      I used Photoshop

      smiley1.gif

    • alpha2zulu

      13 years ago

      no... no not really...

    • alpha2zulu

      13 years ago

      lmao wtf are you talking about?

    • alpha2zulu

      13 years ago

      i try not to think how insane one of my friends is lol.

    • SephirothSin

      13 years ago

      +6 it is then. thank you. mind if I add you to my freinds list?

    • SephirothSin

      13 years ago

      i saw that FFAC banner that you made for Greed5. could you make me one? ill pay you a 6 mod fee. or do you want more?

    • reallydrunk

      13 years ago

      i gave u 13 mod points

    • DEIFAN2006

      13 years ago

      12402222431.gif
      nice PIC!

    • smarmara

      13 years ago

      im 6ft 3

    • Caboose215

      13 years ago

      I'll think about it

    • SirKillalot2

      13 years ago

      LMAO! I could have said that, O'well, thenxs b/c she would have never told me

    • Unforgiver01

      13 years ago

      2c115bcf8d6f355f05692e10ded5ae62.jpg

    • SirKillalot2

      13 years ago

      She won't tell me anything anymore, so I need new sources. There is you, lowenstein12, and__________________( who?)

    • SirKillalot2

      13 years ago

      ya she turned me down like a month ago, who is #3?

    • SirKillalot2

      13 years ago

      Wait so who is Jen's new bf u or lowenstein12? She is saying lowenstein12 but, she lies to me sooooooooooooooo....

    • hotpinkchick

      13 years ago

      lol
      oohh i c!
      u want something and i want something!!
      ur good
      lol
      ok well its msn
      its
      redhotchick1942@msn.com

    • hotpinkchick

      13 years ago

      cuz her thing says " i love him "
      is it?

    • hotpinkchick

      13 years ago

      uh oh!
      :D
      is it candygurl?

    • hotpinkchick

      13 years ago

      who is her?

    • hotpinkchick

      13 years ago

      Hey!

    • DEIFAN2006

      13 years ago

      erotic1.gif
      lol!

    • princeofpork

      13 years ago

      Yer sure, I'll try and do it ASAP

    • princeofpork

      13 years ago

      Not all, unfortunately. I'm at my dad's at the moment, so i cant do anything to 'em

    • princeofpork

      13 years ago

      *vomit*

    • princeofpork

      13 years ago

      CUNT

    • princeofpork

      13 years ago

      Yeah, but this is so much more public (and amusing)

    • princeofpork

      13 years ago

      Oooh, learning new words are we?
      I think you'll find I like girls as much as the next man (provided he isn't gay).

      You wang smiley3.gif

    • princeofpork

      13 years ago

      ....

      I wasn't being a dick, cock sucker

    • princeofpork

      13 years ago

      okay whats with the roman numerals?

      Change, motherfucker!

    • Kokiri_Kid

      13 years ago

      ....i like that image thingy...I wish my grass was emo....

    • crazyapple

      13 years ago

      so i like updating every living being

  • pandson89's Pictures

    There are no images yet. Create an album!

  • Questions

    No questions have been answered yet