pennypanda

26 years old
Not Specified
from Madison, WI

  • Activity

    • KITTY

      1 year ago

      pennypanda

      It has been a little too long since I've posted anything, and I realized I had posted zero pictures of my cat. So here's to making up for lost time. 

      This is Georgee, he is now just over 10 months old and I love him so much. He may be a punk at times but he is so handsome and loving. 

      Here is a brief timeline of his life so far


      **EDIT**

      wow, for some reason all of the picture went away, sad

      maybe this one will work?











    • I Did A Thing

      2 years ago

      pennypanda

      I have officially joint the current gaming generation. After considering myself a gamer without a console for many many years, I now officially have an Xbox One, which means I have a gamertag: FreeSandwhich 

      Glad to have finally joined the party


      73c6912c1c0f28fb450b5ac259c61aca.jpg


    • General Disucssion

      in Forums > General Disucssion | Follow this topic

      pennypanda

      Here is a place to have just a general conversation about things like what color was the dress? which line in the llama song is the best? and other outdated internet memes (along with other topics)

      9 replies

    • Let's Get Serious

      2 years ago

      pennypanda

      Isn't that just great, I post a journal 2 months ago about being a flake and not talking about anything really since my move. I know, I'm the worst. 

      But honestly all those journal topics I threw around, I would love to post about, but every time I think about writing a journal I can't actually bring myself to do it because there's been something else pretty big that has been consuming a big part of my thinking space (hell, just getting up the motivation to actually type this journal took a while, but I knew it was something I needed to share). 


      Just as a warning, this is going to get a little serious. Brace yourselves. 


      Though in the past I typically write journals and share just about anything I have on my mind, there has always been one major topic in my life that I have never really felt comfortable putting into words. I have talked around it before and I can talk about it to people face-to-face, but something about actually typing it out makes it seem disingenuous or attention-seeking or any of the other numerous adjectives that just get jumbled up in my brain. 

      And honestly, I'm still not going to talk about all of it, like the more serious implications or experiences I've dealt with, because who actually wants to hear that shit. Instead I will just talk about what I've been up to recently. 


      For a really long time I have dealt with issues. I can remember instances at least back to middle school but they were probably present even back in elementary school. It didn't get really bad, or at least bad enough for me to recognize something was wrong until high school and college, though it manifested in different ways over the years. I didn't want to call it any type of mental health issue because of the social stigma that I've internalized (among many other social stigmas that effect me every day). I saw it as a weakness and being broken and something that you fake a smile so people don't know things are wrong. 

      I saw therapists off and on, mostly seeking help when things got really bad. Other than that I worked to take care of myself on a day-to-day basis, but I always told myself that when I was in a position where I could go to therapy regularly, it would probably be good.

      And now I find myself in a position that I can.

      I have been going to see a therapist weekly (it started every other week, but then a few emotional breakthroughs happened and it became evident it should be a weekly thing) in order to deal with my depression and anxiety, which I definitely have and am not afraid or embarrassed to admit (well, I am, but I'm trying to ignore those feelings because I know they are just built up in my head)

      And it's been tough, but it's been good. 

      I've learned that the daily mindset I have always lived in is not normal and not okay.

      I've learned that not having the motivation to even leave my bed for an entire weekend is not nothing.

      I've learned that this actually runs deeper than I think I always knew but never wanted to admit. 

      I'm now on medication to help.

      I've stopped drinking.

      I'm slowly getting better.

      It's going to be a long road, but I'm glad I'm on it.


      And now one last thing, why I decided to share this with all of you. I know that there are major parts of this story that are missing, and maybe one day I will be able to share, and I know that might seem odd or unfair or whatever. In the past, whenever I have opened myself up, the RT community has always accepted me with open arms and continued to love and support me (which frankly, I have trouble fathoming) and so not saying anything felt like the wrong thing to do. 


      So here I am, bearing my soul once again to the community I love, admitting that I have problems but I am getting help and working hard to get better. 

      Soon I hope to actually be able to talk about the many other things I'd like to share (like the fact that I now have a kitten), but until then: [here is where I tried desperately to think of something witty and cute to sign off with, but came up with nothing]


      tl;dr: I have depression and anxiety, but I'm getting help and getting better. Also, I have a kitten.

    • Flakey the Flakey Flake

      2 years ago

      pennypanda

      Every freaking day I have the thought of "oh, I haven't posted a journal in a long time, I should fix that" and I have lots of ideas of what I want to talk/rant/explain. But then I don't. Which sucks.

      So I am going to talk about things now more frequently that I have been think about, and to remind myself of some of the topics I would like to make a journal of, I will list them right here:

      Names

      Kitty

      Lethargy

      Crazy Ex-Girlfriend/Rachel Bloom as a person

      Comics


      Consider it like a tease of things to come.

      So while I cannot discuss any of them now due to having a ton of work to do any only limiting myself to a 5 minute break to drink coffee and write this, in the mean time I will leave you with the gif I spent way too much time watching last night:

      tumblr_n8lv9oRlKZ1qzj1pro1_250.gif

    • 3 years ago

      pennypanda
    • New Apartment

      3 years ago

      pennypanda

      For the first time in my life I am living by myself, and I have to say, I have mixed opinions on it (though mostly nice at this point). I was able to find a decent one bedroom apartment that's only about 5 minutes from my brother's place and a 20 minute commute to work. Right now, the apartment is a little depressing inside because I couldn't book movers until next weekend to get all my furniture and boxes from their temporary storage, so right now I have an air mattress, a lamp, and some clothes. I will say that buying adult-type things like appliances and cleaning supplies and groceries actually made me excited. I know it will wear off, but for now it makes me feel accomplished.

      On the note of having a new apartment though, it means I have a new address and I don't know about you, but I love snail mail, so if anyone is interested in being penpals, message me about it. There's something nice about getting letters, even in this age of instant communication.


      giphy.gif

    • Big Changes

      3 years ago

      pennypanda

      Over the past months I have been gearing up for a big change in my life and I'm finally at a point to talk about it in a more definite and public sense. Apologies in advance if this journal comes across a little rambly, but I'm just going to go for train of thought, so we'll see what happens.

      Around last November I made the decision to leave my job and leave Michigan, there are a multitude of reasons that contributed to this choice, but the big one it boiled down to was that I never intended to stay. I took the job I currently have as a stop-gap measure and I think I stayed for as long as I have because I got complacent and I was scared about moving on. But when the moment came for me to make the decision to essentially shit or get of the pot, I started taking the necessary steps for finding new opportunities.

      I knew that applying for jobs around the holidays was not likely to be very successful, so I gathered my resources, worked on my resume/cover letter, and got prepared for the new year.

      The first of the year I started sending out resumes and applications in bulk. I had narrowed my search to three cities to focus on and was applying to anything and everything I could possibly be considered for, and along the way I got a bite. It was a company, Epic, I applied for and was also internally referred for (as my sister-in-law works there) and I went through the entire application process, including being flown out for an on-site interview.

      Along the way I also made the decision that if I didn't have anything locked down by a certain date, I would move and job hunt in person and more or less wing it. As that date approached I got more and more nervous and scared, but determined that this was the step I needed to take, but then I had some good fortune.

      While it was a bit of a tumultuous experience of waiting and not knowing (an aspect I'd rather not get into), this past Wednesday I got a call from the recruiter at Epic and was offered a position, which I accepted instantly.

      So basically, after a lot of work and applications and stress, I GOT A JOB!! (which was funnily the first application I actually sent back in January).


      What this means now is that in 16 days I will be moving to Madison, WI and starting a position at Epic as a QA tester.

      I am equally excited and nervous and also sad that I'll be leaving my friends and my parents (though I will visit, that's not even a question).

      It's time for me to start the next chapter. Wish me luck.


      tl;dr: I got a job and am moving away


    • The Genesis Discussion

      3 years ago

      pennypanda

      I feel that every time the band Genesis is brought up in conversation, you are always forced to choose between Peter Gabriel and Phil Collins and I think tonight I have finally solidified my answer.
      Phil Collins, forever and always.

      For the mere fact that he made my childhood. Among many other things, he was the sound of Tarzan and, as I was just reminded of tonight, voiced the adorable polar bears in Balto.

      Phil Collins is always the answer.

    • My Love Letter to Elizabeth Imbrie

      3 years ago

      pennypanda

      As I sit here watching The Philadelphia Story for the umpteenth time, it occurs to me that with every viewing of this magnificent film, the more I come to realize that I see parts of myself in the character of Elizabeth Imbrie (played by the incomparable Ruth Hussey), but even more, I see who I aspire to be like.

      While it's so easy to be initially drawn to Tracy Lord (Katharine Hepburn) -- and don't get me wrong, her biting wit and charming drunkenness are some of the best parts of the script -- the more I watch the film, the more I pay attention to Ms. Imbrie.

      Elizabeth is equally sassy and sly. She is talented, yet practical. While Mike (James Stewart) is the dreamer of the pair, Liz is the realist, understanding that sometimes you have to do things you don't particularly like, while she can also find humor or joy in everything she faces. She is strong, independent, and patient, not jaded by her romantic past or present, but understanding that things take time, and that sometimes it's better not to push it.

      While it might not be the best to aspire to be like a fictional character, I don't particularly care at the moment. I see in Elizabeth Imbrie the type of adult I would like to be. Also, if I could even just have half her wit, I'll be good.


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  • Comments (290)

    • yougococo FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Four For You

      2 years ago

      Hi I miss your face and I'm going to RTX again this year and wishing I could see you agaiiiiin <3 Hope everything has been well!!!

      • pennypanda

        2 years ago

        I MISS YOUR FACE TOO!! I saw all the picture you posted, looks like you had fun! I can't believe it was 3 years ago last time I went. I am going to try so hard to be able to go next year though!!

    • AdamFromTheInternet FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold dick

      3 years ago

      Hey Penny,

      I work at Epic as well. I started about 2 months ago now. I think we might be working on similar apps. I was talking to a girl named Angela today and we started talking about Rooster Teeth and said she knew a girl named Penny who loves Rooster Teeth!

      I think that might be you? Anyway, I just wanted to introduce myself! Hi! I'm Adam. I work on Willow Inpatient and Willow Inventory!

      • pennypanda

        3 years ago

        Angela is actually my mentor and I'm on Willow Inpatient too. I feel like I should be singing the small world song right now....

        Anyway, nice to meet you Adam!

    • KP1000S Hero of Canton

      3 years ago

      daily-morning-awesomeness-45-photos-11.g


      • pennypanda

        3 years ago

        That is too beautiful for words.

        This is it, I need no other gifs in my life ever

      • KP1000S Hero of Canton

        3 years ago

        I didn't think it needed any words. I just saw it and thought, "ok I know where to leave this"

    • Tayter57 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      3 years ago

      Hey YOU! GIRL LADY PERSON!


      https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/8b/72/73/8b7273ff7efe2288e5a1b3a98b8c6c14.jpg


      • pennypanda

        3 years ago

        okay, two things:

        first: "girl lady person"? really?

        second: that actually just made a shit day a lot better. Thank you :)

    • Giries FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold PA Guardian

      4 years ago

      Hiya smiley0.gif

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      • pennypanda

        4 years ago

        (sometimes it might take me a while to respond, but I always will!)

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      • Giries FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold PA Guardian

        4 years ago

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      • pennypanda

        4 years ago

        I am always up for any type of gif war

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      • Giries FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold PA Guardian

        4 years ago

        I sense a GoT gif war. In that case....

        tumblr_mxnq12TOlZ1t5o1w9o1_500.gif

      • pennypanda

        4 years ago

        Hello to you to!
        I tried to find a good GoT drinking gif, but they were all of Cersei, so have this one instead:
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    • Raf Raf

      4 years ago

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      gots to rock out sometimes

    • Raf Raf

      4 years ago

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    • Raf Raf

      4 years ago

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      • pennypanda

        4 years ago

        I WANT ONE SO BADLY!!!

    • jeysicah FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Jessica (Jey)

      4 years ago

      Happy Valentine's day, Penny! I hope you have an amazing day! smiley12.gifsmiley12.gif
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      • pennypanda

        4 years ago

        Thanks Jey!! I love that gif, it's probably the best ever! smiley13.gifsmiley12.gif

    • StryfeRyder FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      4 years ago

      2014_valentines_preview2.png
      Happy warm and fuzzies day to you too!

      p.s. how have you been? I feel like us catching up is something that needs to happen soon ^_^

      • pennypanda

        4 years ago

        That might be the most relevant valentine to my life.
        And yes! we much catch up soon!!

    • Audrey

      4 years ago

      Thank you for being on The List, an just for being so lovely and caring! smiley12.gif
      Spread the love with Warm Fuzzies of your own today!

    • Uberboard3

      4 years ago

      I hope this day is most warm and fuzzy day of the year. I wish there was more that I could give you, but all I have on me is this super steamy gif of me at the MTV movie awards last year. It'll have to do.

      thumb_zac_efron_mtv_movie_awards_gif.gif

      • pennypanda

        4 years ago

        Damn dude, you've been working out.

    • Tayter57 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      4 years ago

      I hope you stay warm on this Valentines day as well!

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      • pennypanda

        4 years ago

        Yeah. I'm definitely staying indoors today. Too much wind and snow (I don't think mother nature is doing Valentine's Day right...)

    • LostInSweden

      4 years ago

      Pennypanda my lovely panda Penny~
      I can always count on a lovely panda gif from you to brighten my day~
      Was so much fun meeting you at RTX. ^^

      I hope you have a lovely valentines day!

      cb347cf77c45c4274540e2736e31a6eff72918db
      smiley12.gifsmiley12.gifsmiley12.gifsmiley12.gif

      • pennypanda

        4 years ago

        ALL THE PANDAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
        smiley12.gifsmiley12.gif

    • KamakaziNES FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold SaneAdjacent

      4 years ago

      Your shining personality s like a beacon of light! Stay classy <3

      • pennypanda

        4 years ago

        Aww!! Thank you so much, that is the sweetest! smiley0.gifsmiley12.gif

    • TerraMcleod ~Mcloud~

      4 years ago

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      Penny! You are so fucking awesome! I hope that we can get to hang out again at RTX this summer! Hope you have an awesome day! smiley1.gifsmiley12.gifsmiley13.gif

      • TerraMcleod ~Mcloud~

        4 years ago

        Anytime, Penny! And that is quite unfortunate, you will be missed greatly. But yes! Skype is a must! Although I dont think I got your Skype info? Send it over via message and I'll add ya! Miss you too! smiley12.gifsmiley13.gif

      • pennypanda

        4 years ago

        Aw, thanks Neal! Unfortunately I'm not going to be able to make it to RTX this year, but we should skype sometime soon and catch up because I miss you! smiley13.gifsmiley12.gif

    • Raf Raf

      4 years ago

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      Penny, you are amazing! Don't you dare EVER EVER forget that! You can tackle anything that comes your way, I know that for a damn fact! Thank you so much for the friendship and this GIF war. It's something that always makes me smile and I am very grateful for all of it! smiley0.gifsmiley12.gifsmiley13.gif

      • pennypanda

        4 years ago

        Dude, I totally wish I had a box of chocolate that big (although I could probably do without Urkel in it)
        Thanks Raf!! smiley12.gifsmiley13.gif

    • Raf Raf

      4 years ago

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    • Raf Raf

      4 years ago

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      cause I'm looking up mad mods…..

      • pennypanda

        4 years ago

        I think I watched that for too long.

    • Raf Raf

      4 years ago

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      Oh hai! Hope you have a great weekend, Penny! smiley1.gif

      • Raf Raf

        4 years ago

        Right!? I couldn''t figure it out either!

      • pennypanda

        4 years ago

        I can't tell if that fox is supr happy or just a little derpy. but nonetheless it's adorable.

    • Raf Raf

      4 years ago

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      • pennypanda

        4 years ago

        Dude, I totally just added that gif to my spreadsheet!! IT'S SO ADORABLE!!

    • Raf Raf

      4 years ago

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    • Raf Raf

      4 years ago


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      Post edited 12/22/14 10:03PM

      • pennypanda

        4 years ago

        completely the struggle of my life

    • Raf Raf

      4 years ago

      THANK tumblr_nfxcp0oMoa1sujpzlo1_500.gif IT'S FRIDAY!

      I've been waiting all week to use that line...

      XD XD XD

      Post edited 12/12/14 10:10PM

      • pennypanda

        4 years ago

        Definitely, and I feel that fox gif was the absolute perfect choice

      • Raf Raf

        4 years ago

        Glad you caught on to what I meant XD

      • pennypanda

        4 years ago

        well worth the wait. 100% smiley13.gifsmiley13.gif

    • Raf Raf

      4 years ago

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      • Raf Raf

        4 years ago

        Right? Can't argue that haha

      • pennypanda

        4 years ago

        Cat hugs are the best.

    • Raf Raf

      4 years ago

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      i'm drowning myself in cute animal gifs. I needs it

      • pennypanda

        4 years ago

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      • Raf Raf

        4 years ago

        Hahaha, bring your best!

      • pennypanda

        4 years ago

        My GIF-game has been severely lacking, and for that I apologize.

        Expect a change very very soon

        Soon-6.jpg

    • LillyBugLove

      4 years ago

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      • pennypanda

        4 years ago

        If that girl didn't have long, blonde hair, I'd be confused when a GIF was made of me, because taht is completely something that would happen to me

    • Raf Raf

      4 years ago

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      Friday and IDGAF XD

    • Raf Raf

      4 years ago

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      Can't even handle this right now XD

    • Raf Raf

      4 years ago

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      The d'awww is strong with these pups

      • Raf Raf

        4 years ago

        AND THE GIF WAR CONTINUES! Mwahahahahahaha XD

      • pennypanda

        4 years ago

        lol, you really do smiley13.gif

      • Raf Raf

        4 years ago

        Haha, well then I have great timing

      • pennypanda

        4 years ago

        I completely and absolutely needed this right now

    • Bad_Carma

      4 years ago

      Hi pennypanda how's life?

      • Bad_Carma

        4 years ago

        Indeed. Everyone also loves so much attention these days too its insane.

      • pennypanda

        4 years ago

        That's too bad. I completely can empathize with the whole busy-life. Feel like I rarely have time to myself.

      • Bad_Carma

        4 years ago

        Fine just really busy -_-

      • pennypanda

        4 years ago

        Hey! Life's pretty good, you?

    • LillyBugLove

      4 years ago

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      • Bad_Carma

        4 years ago

        Not bad haha. I can't compete with hula-hooping squirrel gif >.<

    • LillyBugLove

      4 years ago

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    • Raf Raf

      4 years ago

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      I has a fierce…just kidding, nap time

    • LillyBugLove

      4 years ago

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    • LillyBugLove

      4 years ago

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    • ShelbyG Stormborn

      4 years ago

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    • Raf Raf

      4 years ago

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    • LostInSweden

      5 years ago

      Hi, thank you for the friend add~
      Also, PANDA!!!
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    • supremebacon

      5 years ago

      YOU
      roosterteeth.com/events/event.php?id=433

    • MegaraNoelle

      5 years ago

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    • Bruisedfrog FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Michigan Craft Beer

      5 years ago

      We're officially friends now!

      • pennypanda

        5 years ago

        and all is right in the universe

    • LillyBugLove

      5 years ago

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      Panda ^^

      • pennypanda

        5 years ago

        absolutely my favorite gif of all time.

    • Raf Raf

      5 years ago

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      Hey!

    • Raf Raf

      5 years ago

      hB0ADCFE7

      Sometimes, I get knocked down smiley0.gif

    • LoZelda FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Supposedly An Adult

      5 years ago

      I can't remember if I already asked you...which room do you have at Firehouse?

      • LoZelda FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Supposedly An Adult

        5 years ago

        Ah, I'm in 301, the 8p female room.

      • pennypanda

        5 years ago

        I'm in 204 (I think that's the number, it's the 12 person mixed room) you?

    • Audrey

      5 years ago

      Brutally-Honest-Disney-Valentines-Jack-S
      You are so generous. Thank you for spreading word about this idea. I am so glad that this site has allowed me to meet you. Keep on keepin' on!
      If you'd like to pass along the love, check this out! smiley12.gif

    • ailsarocks Community Stylist

      5 years ago

      Happy Valentines Day love!

      You are an amazing, beautiful and inspiring person! Thanks for the lovely message, it made me super smiley! smiley0.gifsmiley12.gif

      heart-you.gif

      • pennypanda

        5 years ago

        I did not realize we were not friends yet, I'm glad that's changed now!

    • LillyBugLove

      5 years ago

      Or like the UP and Mainland ;)

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    • Raf Raf

      5 years ago

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      Happy Valentines day, has some warm fuzzies!

      • LillyBugLove

        5 years ago

        I JUST SAW THIS ONE!
        NOW I NEED A NEW ONE....

      • Raf Raf

        5 years ago

        smiley0.gif

      • pennypanda

        5 years ago

        It's the warmest of the fuzzies!!!! smiley12.gifsmiley12.gifsmiley12.gif

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