Whenever I find myself at the end of a relationship I tend to reflect heavily on it as well as previous relationships, if there were similarities, what happened, is there a pattern, the normal analytical aspects of my overactive mind. And since I seem to have found myself in this position again, I have decided to quantify my relationship history, a mixture of cynicism and curiosity, just to see if there is anything worth nothing.
Please note: this is merely an analytical measure of the whole scope. I am going to try and hold personal opinions on specific relationships to a minimum (of course a few will make it through, but that's not why I'm doing this) and also these relationships have nothing to do with more intimate aspects of relationships or relationships that were solely based on that, this is about people who I "dated" in one respect or another.
So here we go, fueled by peppermint schnapps and nutella, let's see if I actually get anything accomplished with this:
5: number of defined relationships I have had (i.e. defined as boyfriend/girlfriend)
4: number of those defined relationships that were terminated over the phone
1: number of said relationships terminated by phone that I can actually justify why it occurred that way
0: number of times I have been the instigator in terminating a romantic relationship
2.6: average length of defined relationships (given in months)
1: number of exes who now identify as the opposite gender
3: number of romantic relationships that were not defined (i.e. as boyfriend/girlfriend) for unspecified resasons
2: number of non-defined romantic relationships that ended due to severe lack of communications (i.e. no communications - one of which was incredibly impressive that he was able to accomplish that given we worked in the same place...)
2: number of casual flings
2: number of people that I had casual flings with who I still consider very close friends
10: number of men that I have only gone on dates with (averaging one date) that never progressed to anything further
2: number of times I have been sworn at because I expressed disinterest in future dates (I always informed in the politest ways, thanking them for the date and apologizing for lack of future dates - one called me a bitch and the other told me to go fuck myself, though he is expanded upon in the next quantity)
1: number of stalkers (which resulted in severe anxiety issues at the time)
unquantifiable: number of tears shed over the termination of various relationships
And I think that's about it, of course there are more numbers and figures that could be expanded upon, and whole aspects of relationships that I would rather not revisit. But as far as bare bones go, that is my romantic history summed up into just a few figures.
That was actually a lot more fun to actually type out that I thought it would be.
Overall the thing I have definitely noticed going forward is that with each passing relationship my cynicism has grown stronger, and that the times I spend mourning what was lost is spent angry rather than sad. I have wept over the lost opportunities more than the lost relationship.
But we keep moving on.
To leave you with a song.