poisoncori

Female
from Anchorage, AK

  • Activity

    • ...

      11 years ago

      poisoncori

      so here i sit
      waiting waiting
      bored
      tired
      sore
      confused
      anxious
      ...
      what to think about?
      my thoughts are going around and around
      my heart is deciding.....
      when i think of you,
      i am happy
      you're what makes my day
      you're my best friend
      my other half
      we go together like two puzzle pieces
      then why am i so doubtful?
      why can i not choose?
      why am i not sure what is right, what is wrong
      i've done what SHOULD be right
      but it's only left me empty inside
      and my tears have run dry
      to the point that i feel nothing but numbness
      why am i numb?
      i should be rejoicing, i have done the right thing
      but i've only cried, and hurt when i see you
      if i did the right thing, then why is the rest of my life not coming together?
      why is it not all working out,
      why am i so alone
      why do i feel this need to be with you?
      is this what God wants for me?
      loneliness?
      i know He doesn't
      but how can i wait years and years for Him to make me whole,
      when i don't even know if that will happen,
      but i can be sure about you?
      that you will complete my happiness?
      instead of spending hours and hours searching for my happiness reading and praying
      when that happiness would only be in my mind, and something i have to gain, to make be there? because it is the right thing? when it only takes me being near you to make me happy?
      how do i even know if it is the right thing?

      i don't.

      i don't know what's right and wrong in this situation.. in my heart...

      all i know is that when i am with you, when you are with me, i am happy.
      i feel a better person
      i am not sad
      i dont care that i have no friends
      and worse am disliked.
      i don't care if i'm ugly
      or if i can't write or paint
      i don't care
      i feel happy
      you make me happy

      it should be such an easy decision for me to make
      but still, i am doubtful.
      don't ask me why, because i couldn't give you an answer for my life
      sometimes it just would seem easier if i waited, to see if you were the one, to see if someone else was
      but it hurts
      and i'm afraid i'll lose you, or the person i'm supposed to be with
      i'm so afraid of being alone


      i love you
      but i don't

      i wish i knew what my true feelings were

      i wish i didn't have to decide

      i wish i knew what was the right thing for me, what would make me truly happy

      i wish i knew where my focus was, where it should be. because i probably have it in the wrong place and that's why i don't know anything about myself.

    • people are so stupid.

      11 years ago

      poisoncori

      i really hate people sometimes. people that swear they're there for you then disappear when you're in trouble or you're having a bad day or they just don't freaking care anymore. when they promise they'll always be waiting for you and they'll always be there and they really love you... hah. then when you sit by yourself on the bus and in the stands and you have no friends and everyone ignores you unless they want you to move so they can sit in your seat... then the person that supposedly cares about you is too busy hanging out with their friends and having too much fun with their life to notice how miserable yours is and how lonely you are... when your supposed friends don't notice you're sitting there by yourself just staring at the floor trying not to cry and they just think you're sleeping or something.. it's hard and it hurts and you realize how fake everything is.. how nothing is real and how nothing matters... how friends are more likely to never be there for you than to ever be there for you.... even if you go out of your way to be there for them when they're hurt... funny that the thought is never reciprocated.
      it's hard when they used to always care, or at least you thought they did, and now suddenly when ur stressed out about getting behind in school or how bad you played in a basketball game and all they can say is "well sux for you" then run off laughing and having fun with the other people that are ok with school and good at stuff and are having good days and HAVE FRIENDS...

    • mehh

      11 years ago

      poisoncori

      nottin evah happens on ma page. ):
      i only talk to darkfantasy and that sucks because i see him everyday anyways :P (yes i dont like you!! gah!) lol
      i am bored and so i get on here and do nothing. it used to be so much funner back in the day because people used to talk to me and send me messages and i used to get friend invites and such )': nothing anymore though. if i never get on here again though, that is why. so yeah
      }:

    • Now I'm It

      11 years ago

      poisoncori

      Fact 1: I have a gumball that my brother, cousin and I have created (using our chewed gum to make the gumball) and I still have it :P

      Fact 2: I was going to dye my hair brown, but then 4 other people did it. Well guess what I'm still going to do it and I'm not copying anyone!

      Fact 3: I also dislike spicy food

      Fact 4: Something's wrong with me because the only kind of people that have been interested in me were either lesbians or bi-sexuals, boys younger than me (mostly ones significantly younger than me such as middleschoolers), and perverted womanizing abusive jerks that cheat on me and stuff, and also a few people that are mentally challenged. Not exagerrate. what ever happened to the normal people? the decent guys.... :(

      Fact 5: I am a Christian.

      Fact 6: I love basketball even though I'm not that great at it. I love running!

      Fact 7: I can't cry anymore

      Fact 8: I've never broken a bone either :P

      Fact 9: I've never been trick-or-treating before

      Fact 10: I love sleeping

      Rules

      1. Post these rules:
      2. Each person tagged must post 10 random facts about themselves
      3. Tags should write a journal of these facts
      4. At the end of the post 6 more persons are tagged and named
      5. Go to their profile and leave a comment telling them they're tagged

      Heres my list...

      partyjohn
      Quecko
      jimboman
      bree11
      sputnek
      OmG_bRiGeR

      You were chosen because you were the first six on my friends list so there :P

    • dum dum dum

      11 years ago

      poisoncori

      every time i get online it says i've only been online for 1 day 15 minutes and 11 minutes. every time i've gotten on this year it has said that, and i've kept it online for about 4 or 5 hours for the past three days. i've done that numerous times this year... how stupid :P

    • Proxy Sites

      11 years ago

      poisoncori

      Please send me as many proxy sites as possible so that I can at least check my email at school! (yes they have all email blocked!) I have used so many that are now blocked such as cooltunnel.com; ninjaproxy.com; alienproxy.com... so on. please send me any if you have some that will work, it is greatly appreciated!

    • yaay.

      11 years ago

      poisoncori

      an ode to my pathetic life. (!!!) wait it's so pathetic that i am not capable to come up with anything to say about it. so yeah. comment my journal and give me something to talk about.

    • Proxies!

      13 years ago

      poisoncori

      does anyone have any proxy sites? please if you do! i only have internet at the school and they have everything blocked... if you have one for bebo especially! ok thanks, reply away!

    • Found Him Today

      13 years ago

      poisoncori

      (\ _ /)
      (O.o) copy bunny into your profile to help
      (> <) him achieve world domination
      /_|_\

    • Please reply if you have ideas!!

      13 years ago

      poisoncori

      I am in choir, and am going to this thing where we are competing for the best. my school could go to state, which i would really like! We have a good oppurtunity, because we have more ensembles and solos than any other school going. Does any one have any ideas on how to sing better, and how we might accomplish this? Ok Thanks everyone!
      Choir%20Charlie%20Brown%20cartoon.JPG

  • About Me

  • Comments (37)

    • DarkFantasy

      11 years ago

      Haha yeah i wouldn't blame you there, if you got that low you should just leave. I mean seriously, by just doing the work and failing you can get like a C average, not that hard.

    • DarkFantasy

      11 years ago

      Lol, suurrreee. Are you failing yet? i keep waiting for you to get like all F's, so i can laugh at you and say "Ha! I have higher grades than you" Lol, Jay kay =D. Anyway, do less homework, do something fun, common, there has to be SOMEthing that you want to do.

    • DarkFantasy

      11 years ago

      Haha, you weirdo, comment back like a week after i did mine lol.

    • DarkFantasy

      11 years ago

      *gasp* Slacker!! Lol

    • partyjohn

      11 years ago

      I don't see what the problem is with my good person test.

    • partyjohn

      11 years ago

      Really?
      Read Revelation 21:8.
      I never said Christians don't sin.
      The bible clearly says that Christians still sin. 1 John 1.
      But a Christian will not walk in darkness.
      I'd suggest reading 1 John.

    • partyjohn

      11 years ago

      Why's that?

    • DarkFantasy

      11 years ago

      Haha, good one. Maybe you should get that done lol. For some reason she wrote it as "expository" on he rubric, instead of noticing it as a research paper. I'm not sure if thats bad or just a mistake... We shall see.

    • DarkFantasy

      11 years ago

      Haha you overachiever, do you have anything lower than an A? lol

    • DarkFantasy

      11 years ago

      Lol, you just jump on here when your bored =P. Pay attention to your spanish.

    • DarkFantasy

      11 years ago

      haha i actually didn't i was probably talking to cora at the time. And i'm always on here, seriously, unless i quit out of foxfire it keeps me logged on, so yeah just message whenever, i check this enough in the day. As you probably know lol.

    • DarkFantasy

      11 years ago

      Haha did you write that during english? Lol. Dramatize everything =P, nice. I didn't know he was younger than you to be honest though. And umm, bless you on the sneeze?

    • DarkFantasy

      11 years ago

      Lol yeah, it was fun, i don't think i ever did that paper. Last year was fun, this years so boring. Oh and yeah and i asked what about Glen? he's not middle school young, he's in you class. A bit immature maybe, but not young.

    • DarkFantasy

      11 years ago

      Yeah, i do that all the time. Last year i got out of doing a paper for an entire semester because it got "lost" in the internet waves.

    • DarkFantasy

      11 years ago

      Lol good, and yeah it is. I really want to go home and continue my book and smallville season 6, but noo school has to get in the way =P.

    • DarkFantasy

      11 years ago

      hahaha, ok *wink* your from Anchorage. Hoped you liked being tagged.

    • DarkFantasy

      11 years ago

      hahaha, nice. I didn't know you were from anchorage, i thought you were raised here, you've been here longer than me though haven't you?

    • DarkFantasy

      11 years ago

      oh and why does it say your from anchorage...?

    • DarkFantasy

      11 years ago

      tag (read my journal)

    • DarkFantasy

      11 years ago

      actually, i posted that comment last night lol =P. Yeah i just added another paragraph and turned it in, i barely had it done this morning.

    • DarkFantasy

      11 years ago

      lol, it'll be morning when you get this probably. Finished my book =D. Now i have to finish that stupid research paper for roshy, *sigh*.

    • DarkFantasy

      11 years ago

      Haha real sports eh? Lol, nice. I'll stick to not playing any sports at all =D. And yeah, i don't mind if you talk to me on here, i don't do anything anyway lol.

    • DarkFantasy

      11 years ago

      lol, hi cori, you know that i'm almost always online right? has to do with not completely quitting out of firefox. Aren't you in vollyballl?

    • DarkFantasy

      11 years ago

      well i think thats like the 4th comment you've ever given me, so i didn't really include you in that count, but no, i don't think you have my address.

    • Quecko

      12 years ago

      sign on more often lass

    • firefighter7

      13 years ago

      hey puck whats up

    • Paintball98

      13 years ago

      wow..lol its been 3weeks since a last comment for u huh? not good u gots to keep thos up thats one good way to gets the mods points lol...but yah ill comment yah but u have to do the same for me ....kk?

    • whitec

      13 years ago

      Interests
      YOU

      Im interested in you =D

    • mrdude

      13 years ago

      finally a person from anchorage,ak

    • SBC_Packer2

      13 years ago

      happy belated welcome to RvB!

    • firefighter7

      13 years ago

      your fucking hot no lie

    • whitec

      13 years ago

      Hey there good lookin smiley0.gif
      Dropped by to say hi

    • ghostdynsty

      13 years ago

      and welcome to u to ^_^

    • whitec

      13 years ago

      Whoa. pretty new to the site are we? lol
      Welcome aboard ^.^

    • Glaxton

      13 years ago

      welcome.jpg

      Also, I have created a website with tutorials on it... (click on the image)

      profiletutorial.jpg

      You may also MSG me with any questions.
      If you don't know how to send private messages, there is a tutorial on the website smiley11.gif

    • Quecko

      13 years ago

      Need more Alaskans in this joint. :)

    • max16

      13 years ago

      hello and welcome to RvB lol... if you need any and all help just pop me a line.

  • Questions

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