porchmonkey

Male
from Milton, FL

  • Activity

    • penguins

      12 years ago

      porchmonkey


      Penguins really suck you know? And they should be destroyed.320609-Rockhopper-Penguin-0.jpg I mean look at that thing its like a cat screwed a pelican and its offspring screwed a rug. Horrible. Why do people like these things . "Oh they're so cute, i want to watch a movie buy some clothes and stand infront of a claw machine for hours on end for a stuffed animal just to get closer to these ugly non flying bastards." Thats not a direct quote but it should be. Ugly characters being in pop culture isnt so bad if people realize they are ugly and suck, i mean i watched the william hung video. But they convince themselves penguins are cute and rock and lets never eat them. If you a bird and you cant fly, we have to eat you its a rule.

      The movies really suck too:
      March of the penguins : boring
      happy feet: Robin Williams
      That stupid surfing penguins movie: SURFING PENGUINS
      And penguins have also led to the creation of a group of holier than thou people. I speak of the linux people, with Effin tuxie. WTF does a penguin have to do with a computer, i can see windows, and maybe apple but a freakin penguin . Remember when everyone thought monkeys were cute? What happened?

    • rants yo

      12 years ago

      porchmonkey

      I have some things I must vent about. These are things that are frequent on the Net and they are very bothersome. I am actually a very relaxed guy, and very few things bother me, but these make me wish death and terminal diseases on most people.
      LOL-We have all seen this, every time you tell a dumbass joke to your dumbass internet girlfriend/boyfriend/13 year old boy. They proceed to type out LOL which incase you have been under a rock for 20 years means Laughing Out Loud. And you know I dont mind it that much but, like most things on the web it gets killed. Especially when above internet girlfriend/boyfriend/13 year old boy find something exceptionally funny and type extra Ls and Os Ex: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO. Which in my mind means: Hey Optimist come to my house and force powdered glass down my throat.

      Solution: Simply type the onomatopoeia Ha. When typed with an upper case H and lowercase a it kind of looks like a formula for laughter and its much bearable.

      Xs before or/and after your screen name or email: You know I can understand the feeling when you want to email or message people as TomCruiselover. And the hurt and frustration you get when you discover the name is already in use by another person, but instead of living with it and choosing a different name. You, decide to church it up and still make the name yours by doing the most original thing you can think of: Add Xs to it. Umm excuse me, query: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG YOU? To me Xs by a name make it appear the person is a straight edger and therefore should be hated like all straight edge kids.

      Solution: Change the name to something similar, use underscores. And if thats too much work for then kill your yourself, or as I like to call it, going out like a rock star.

      Having hard to read web pages: This one applies mostly to myspace users who make a bright pink background with pink letters and are somehow surprised when they cant read their fucking comments, people like this deserve to be tracked down by pedophiles and have their skin ripped off one piece at a time and be raped with a broom handle bristle side up.

      This one is an extension of the previous: People who have pages with lines through all the words. Hey newsflash I dont know what the fuck that says, I dont want to copy and paste the whole damn page to word, just so I can see you like tom cruise and that you find scientology sexy. It takes time out of my day which could be spent masturbating or curing cancer.

      Solution: Unless some angry forumer has deleted your eyes, use them and try to read your page. If you cant read your page then no one can. If that is too much work for you then fill a pool with gasoline, set it aflame and jump in.

      And finally quizzes- You know this is another one of those things that are fine with sparingly done. But I go through myspace trying to find a hot chick that I could coax into sleeping with me and I pull up her page and find 2000 quizzes ABOUT NOTHING! I DONT CARE WHAT POWER RANGER YOU WOULD BE, QUIT GOING TO QUIZILLA AND DO SOMETHING CONSTUCTIVE. For instance writing an article about the petty things that annoy you on the internet, because that is in no way wasting time, it is clearly an exercise of expression.

      Solution: Kill yourself, there is no going back after the What care bear are you quiz

    • 2019 years ago

      porchmonkey
    • 2019 years ago

      porchmonkey
    • 2019 years ago

      porchmonkey
    • 2019 years ago

      porchmonkey
  • About Me

  • Comments (11)

    • Bryy

      11 years ago

      In reply to porchmonkey, #16:

      I think this could last well into 2008. Because most of the shows were going to take a break around now anyway and the networks would all be airing holiday specials. When its really going to be noticeable is int he spring when all the shows are supposed to come back.


      You have no idea what you are talking about. This is going to start being noticed by next week. The talk show circuits already been on life support for a few days.

      there are also rumors that the directors and writes guide will strike once their contracts wear out too if it lasts that long.


      It's happening.

      Though as of now i think the only people who are really feeling the punch are the fans.


      You are so lucky that you have no fucking clue what you're talking about.

    • Cori_Jade

      11 years ago

      Yes Porchmonkey!! TAKE IT BACK!! don't let it die out! we all need to embrace porchmonkey, and understand it's worth as a word in every day conversation!!!

    • KingOfLemurs

      12 years ago

      i feel the same way.
      But i feel a little weird about it as i am a little older than her.

    • D_Janissary

      12 years ago

      Thanks for being my friend!~

      -DJ

    • Wisp

      12 years ago

      mmm... I pierced my lip
      twice >.<

      I posted pictres on my new journal if you want to check it out, I think it looks good =)

    • Wisp

      12 years ago

      hi =)

    • Wisp

      12 years ago

      So, how is the bunny takeover progressing?

    • JDVang

      12 years ago

      Your profile name is kick ass, I'll find some way to toss you a mod point.

    • Wisp

      12 years ago

      Hey you =)

      How are things?

    • backstabba

      12 years ago

      welcome2-1.jpg
      Hello, I’m glad you’ve chosen to join the Rooster Teeth community. I hope I can make you feel welcome here. If you have any questions about anything, please don’t hesitate to send me a private message and I will try and answer it as quickly as I can. I think that you’ll have a great time here at the Rooster Teeth website! Need help getting started? click here for a quick and easy guide to the site!

      -backstabba

    • Canadianeh_1

      12 years ago

      Welcome to the site! If you need any help then feel free to message me.

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