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from Melbourne, Australia

  • Activity

    • Flying Dark

      12 years ago


      I don't know about you but i've been vistited by a crow (most likely all different ones) 4 times now. Last week (thursday) while i was at my cousin's new house outside helping unpack and (friday) when i was at the bank. These two times the crow looked directly at me. Then yesterday and today a crow flew by my car while i was driving (different roads). Up until last week i hadn't seen a crow for a long long time (this is probably because i'm inside most of the time - or coz of my friend Jo's latest costume). Come to think of it, i wouldn't mind a crow as a pet. They are beautifully black (nice and simple) and look pretty cool. Anyway, maybe i should place a bet for Adelaide to win the final this year.

    • grey smoke

      12 years ago


      A couple of months ago i could've quit smoking cold turkey. I had the strength and determination to stop having the thing that made me feel good. I was ready to throw away the packet, hide my zippo in a secure place and breath the fresh air that i said i needed to have. That was a couple of months ago - approximately 3 months and a week ago.

      It did not turn out the way i wanted it to. It was not done under my terms. You see, the cigarettes got the better of me. The cigarette pack wanted to stop slowly. One cigi at a time - less and less as time passed by. That apparently is the healthy way of doing things. And this is how it panned out. No cold turkey for me.

      Why is this a bad thing? Well, by the time i had reached the last cigi in the pack i had no more strength left to quit. No more determination. And least of all no more motivation. I eventually had to do it the cigarette pack's way, not under my terms.

      Apparently i'm not addicted, but the way i see things - you are addicted when you find it hard to quit. So where does this leave me? Smelling grey smoke. There's no more cigis in the pack - that's gone forever. Empty. Not gona go buy another one coz that's just a bad idea. And patches - they work sometimes but it's not as good as the real thing. Nope, i'm breathing in grey smoke. The inevitable suffocation that awaits me. How do i move on you ask? I'm running on the basic human function of living, growing and reproduction. Plus i try to always finish what i start, even if it means getting there barely alive.

      I guess fresh air will come when i pass this grey smoke.

    • Sick for more then 5 weeks

      12 years ago


      i wouldn't say i'm still incredibly sick but i haven't been 100% for more then 5 weeks. i've still got a cough that has thankfully gone down to a minimum (mostly at nite).

      i think it's the lack of rvb humor - my blood flow isnt working well without the constant laughing. (although i do like the side story of out of mind)

    • I should be a god damn poet!

      12 years ago


      The slow decline of red design

      Design is the composition of information that communicates.
      Long winded and complex when not handled well,
      Short and simple when given care.
      Composition and hierarchy orders forms that float in the abyss,
      And color, or lack of, gives design its life.

      Black and white begin the war,
      And the consequences are dior.
      Their attacks are viscous and unrelenting,
      As violence spreads like fire.

      Formations are cut and broken,
      With a tidal wave of blues.
      A silver menace strikes down,
      And smudges all the hues.

      All the lines are now scattered,
      The dynamics are inside out.
      Flow of forces are neglected,
      And the objectives are in doubt

      Broken is the composition,
      Forever it will bleed.
      And the blood that flows is as black,
      As the dark eyes of the seed.

      The seed of complete emptiness,
      Consumes everything it sees.
      Where there is no more core and centre.
      And everything will freeze.

      The design lacks the warmth,
      And sustainance declines.
      Insanity is inevitable,
      With the loss of red designs.

    • Here's some morbid poetry

      12 years ago


      you want to know how that feels to see five years of your life with someone is now just a memory. sure it meant something at the time and at the time we meant what was said. so now that we're here what does it all mean? you want to know? do you want to know what taunts me when 'm awake haunts me when i sleep? to know what the problems are but also know the inevitable fact that it cannot be solved here. to have to wait what seems like an eternity for escape, for refuge, for any sign of comfort. to train oneself to be alone again, no one who understands you, no one who really listens to you. to talk into the night with no response (like praying which i stopped in vain), to hear ones voice snuffled by the dark silence that consumes every ounce of light inside. to be cold and short of breath because there is a massive hole where your heart used to be. to be incomplete and in despair because the world has been turned upside down and the ground beneath your feet has been taken away. to float in this abyss known as grey area, drowning in indescribable thoughts. to know that the person who could've possibly brought eternal happiness is now in the same abyss yet ironically in a different level therefore you are unable to be with them. to no longer fear death (and welcome it) but will not take ones life because even that idea has stopped making sense.

      will things get better - most likely.
      will i move on - probably.
      will the future bring love - maybe.
      will i make it there - ... do i want to make it there?

      so where am i? i'm stuck in this suffocating situation called the NOW.
      where do i want to be? anywhere but here and now.

    • A somber weekend

      13 years ago


      saturday night

      Awesome night - went out with a couple of my work mates and their friends and we rocked out at this pub (they're regulars there) band was alrite and crowd was moshing like no tomorrow. so it was good up to a certain point towards the end of the night. the girl i manage to get with just so happens to be a love interest of my work mate (it would seem we have a lot more in common then i thought - like taste in women). i totally didn't know but i was told by one of the other guys to back off - so i did. i live by the old friendship code - do not go for your friend's girlfriend, ex or love interest. i don't like it sometimes but it's a matter of principles and friendship. so, with that said you can see how the night ended up totally sucking. my work mate apologised later on and explained the situation, he was drunk and reacted the same way i would've (lots in common)


      i don't even know why i go to god's house anymore - except to give him my monthly update (it's only good news when there's "thank you"s in there but there hasn't been a thank you for a while). i was practically falling asleep - i think this time it had more to do with jagerbombs from the previous night (or morning).

      i was told today (by an actor) that if i was feeling sad, upset, down - people couldn't tell because i won't show it. so i told them, maybe i should be an actor.

      i'd make an excellent villain in a movie. totally misunderstood and hated. notorious for showing no mercy, no remorse. the good guys wouldn't stand a chance!!! muhahahaha

      I'd be Blood Red the Tyrrant

    • Party Photos!

      13 years ago


      hey guys here's the photos of alex's birthday (present giving)


      and here's the card (received a couple of days ago - given today)

    • Happy Birthday Alex

      13 years ago


      My friend alex turned 21 this last saturday and the lucky bastard got 3 awesome dvds from me. i bought him seasons 1, 2 and 3 and he loves it, so does his brother michael. i was so tempted to tear the pack open and watch it first (but i didnt) and i was tempted overall to just keep it for myself. i also got him a signed birthday card from the rvb team (geoff, burnie and gus were kind enough to sign the card i sent them and mail it back).

      I will post photos up as soon as i get them as proof of what a totally awesome friend i am.

    • US UK or NZ

      13 years ago


      hey guys,

      i've been contemplating on working overseas: the above subject are the countries of choice. Japan was there but through research i've had to eliminate this possibility because of the lack of design jobs. so, i think america is my main goal but to get there i need more experience to land a good design job. UK is the land of graphic design but it's gona cost quite a bit to get there: $9000AUD. this was gona be my direction but something else has been brought to my attention: New Zealand. it's definately cheaper - cost of living, expenses. the pay i guess should be ok. so, i welcome your advice - actually, it would really help.

    • Sleep

      13 years ago


      I haven't been sleeping properly the past few weeks. i guess it's because of a mixture of things. mainly because of school, work and relationship troubles. not sure whether this is the place to vent out, but what the hell. my girlfriend of 5 years and i broke up a couple of weeks ago. it was pretty rocky the past few months and i guess it was for the best theat we ended it. however, i guess the fact that she's moved on a lot faster plagues my mind. the situation is made worse by the fact that all my school projects are due and apparently honor students are supposed to be able to produce design work in next to no time. hence the sleepless nights and the oh so delicious sleeping pills. i guess coming on here and reading the latest joke from malbolgia temporarily takes my mind off things.

      but how i wish for natural sleep and peace of mind.

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