rogue_rose

Female
from CA

  • Activity

    • Just One Of Those Days

      11 years ago

      rogue_rose

      headsInSand.gif

      Don't ya love 'em?

    • Good Times

      11 years ago

      rogue_rose

      I'm gonna head up to Jon's tomorrow for the three-day weekend, and mathfreak and whateva are gonna come hang out with us on Sunday. It shall be a blast. I'm hoping for bowling or mini-golf on Saturday, and The Dark Knight at IMAX followed by Coldstone's Sunday night. Jon's parents are taking off to LA today or tomorrow, and his roommate is leaving for the weekend so we'll have both places to ourselves. smiley8.gif I sense Rock Band in the near future, too.
      I decided to be nice and in a weak, impulsive moment bought Rock Band for Jon and I last weekend. smiley0.gif
      $200 later, I'm satisfied. (I spent $25 and bought extra songs, too.)

    • Numb

      11 years ago

      rogue_rose

      I woke up this morning and for the first time in my life, I was emotionally numb. I'm so confused and hurt that I don't even know what to think anymore. All I know is that I don't want to give up on the most precious thing in the world.

      Edit:
      I took a walk and it cleared my head a bit. I'm calmer and my optimism is starting to come back, which is definitely a good sign.
      Jon - I love you. I forgive you for the stuff we talked about. Yeah, we have problems that we need to work out. It's okay, though. I still think we can make it. smiley12.gif

    • Is it just me...

      11 years ago

      rogue_rose

      Or is this really depressing? The following is found here. It is part of the findings of Congress in the Welfare Reform Act that was passed about 10 years ago.

      (6) The increase of out-of-wedlock pregnancies and births is well documented as follows:

      (A) It is estimated that the rate of nonmarital teen pregnancy rose 23 percent from 54 pregnancies per 1,000 unmarried teenagers in 1976 to 66.7 pregnancies in 1991. The overall rate of nonmarital pregnancy rose 14 percent from 90.8 pregnancies per 1,000 unmarried women in 1980 to 103 in both 1991 and 1992. In contrast, the overall pregnancy rate for married couples decreased 7.3 percent between 1980 and 1991, from 126.9 pregnancies per 1,000 married women in 1980 to 117.6 pregnancies in 1991.

      (B) The total of all out-of-wedlock births between 1970 and 1991 has risen from 10.7 percent to 29.5 percent and if the current trend continues, 50 percent of all births by the year 2015 will be out-of-wedlock.

      (7) An effective strategy to combat teenage pregnancy must address the issue of male responsibility, including statutory rape culpability and prevention. The increase of teenage pregnancies among the youngest girls is particularly severe and is linked to predatory sexual practices by men who are significantly older.

      (A) It is estimated that in the late 1980's, the rate for girls age 14 and under giving birth increased 26 percent.

      (B) Data indicates that at least half of the children born to teenage mothers are fathered by adult men. Available data suggests that almost 70 percent of births to teenage girls are fathered by men over age 20.

      (C) Surveys of teen mothers have revealed that a majority of such mothers have histories of sexual and physical abuse, primarily with older adult men.

      (8) The negative consequences of an out-of-wedlock birth on the mother, the child, the family, and society are well documented as follows:

      (A) Young women 17 and under who give birth outside of marriage are more likely to go on public assistance and to spend more years on welfare once enrolled. These combined effects of `younger and longer' increase total AFDC costs per household by 25 percent to 30 percent for 17-year-olds.

      (B) Children born out-of-wedlock have a substantially higher risk of being born at a very low or moderately low birth weight.

      (C) Children born out-of-wedlock are more likely to experience low verbal cognitive attainment, as well as more child abuse, and neglect.

      (D) Children born out-of-wedlock were more likely to have lower cognitive scores, lower educational aspirations, and a greater likelihood of becoming teenage parents themselves.

      (E) Being born out-of-wedlock significantly reduces the chances of the child growing up to have an intact marriage.

      (F) Children born out-of-wedlock are 3 times more likely to be on welfare when they grow up.

    • From the brain of Jon

      11 years ago

      rogue_rose

      Hey everyone. I really don't know how to begin here, but I guess I gotta start somehow.

      Essentially, I've been having somewhat of a nervous breakdown. When I got home from Montana, I found myself pretty cut-off from Jackie and alone to my thoughts... but also found that I was spending more time out with other people (old friends, new people I was meeting around town, etc.). Combining the factors led to me having a mental breakdown and worrying about how I really feel for Jackie. In all honesty, I can't really be completely sure right now, but I do know that I care for her and I love her, even if it isn't a full-on romantic love. About two weeks ago, everything boiled over and on a surge of unchecked emotional action, I called Jackie to break up with her.

      I'll restate that I love Jackie. I have and I will. What I need to know is the extent of that love, and having never been in another real relationship, I worry that I have been overestimating my love. When I called Jackie to break up, my reason was to prevent great heartache in the possibility that I don't actually love her as more than a friend. I also wanted to take time to explore relationships with others and to get a grasp on what emotions I have been feeling... to have some sort of other experience with which to judge my experiences with Jackie. In the end, I just don't want her to hurt... and I know it will hurt way more 15 years down the road than it would now.

      Well, I've been at Jackie's house talking to her for the past eight hours, and through the many (many) tears, the pain, the memories, the honest words, and the occasional laugh... we managed to figure out where we're going to go from here. I'm sure it'll be rocky at first (these last two weeks have been hell) but we'll figure it out. So starting tonight, Jackie and I are back together, but things are going to be slightly different... slightly more open. Essentially, each of us has agreed to let the other go out on dates with other people, with the restriction that these dates aren't intimate (not that either of us really wants that). This means I will be able to explore being with other girls, and see how I feel about and react to them -- and the same with Jackie for guys. All the while though, we will remain committed to each other.

      Can't say that was the best phrasing, but really I don't want to think too hard right now. I've been hurting for so long, and I just want to enjoy this new stage now. I hope all of you are doing well, and I'll see you around I guess. I'll just kinda keep my account to itself and out of the forums.

      Thank you for all of the support you've given Jackie and I. We're really thankful; you helped us through a really tough time.
      -Jon

    • Honey I'm Home

      11 years ago

      rogue_rose

      Sooo.. I'm back from San Jose. I had an awesome time. I managed to not cry for a couple days. It helped that I was never alone. And probably that I didn't get enough sleep to care. I got 2 hours of sleep Thursday night, 9 hours on Friday night and 4 hours last night. (The 9 hours Friday is cuz I passed out for 7 hours and then took a 2 hour nap later when I woke up. I'm sure you can take a guess as to why I passed out. smiley8.gif )
      I will give a better update tomorrow when I'm actually awake. I'll have pics up tomorrow too. I dyed my hair last night. It turned out awesome. My hair is an auburn color now.
      Anyway, love you guys! Good night. smiley12.gif

    • Sooo...

      11 years ago

      rogue_rose

      I'm not doing as well as I thought I was. smiley2.gif I've been getting maybe 5 or 6 hours of sleep a night/day (i take a nap in the afternoon). I haven't touched my homework. I have a constant headache from crying. I'm really depressed despite being on anti-depressants. (I guess the prescription doesn't cover break-ups). If I wasn't already crazy, I'd think I was going crazy. I'm sorry if I sound whiny. I still can't believe all this actually happened.

      ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

      I watched the proverbial sunrise
      Coming up over the Pacific and
      You might think I'm losing my mind
      But I will shy away from the specifics

      Cause I don't want you to know where I am
      Cause then you'll see my heart
      In the saddest state it's ever been
      This is no place to try and live my life

      Stop right there
      That's exactly where I lost it
      See that line
      Well I never should've crossed it
      Stop right there
      Well I never should've said that
      It's the very moment that I wish that I could take back

      I'm sorry for the person I became
      I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change
      I'm ready to make sure I never become that way again
      Cause who I am hates who I've been
      Who I am hates who I've been

      I talk to absolutely no one
      Couldn't keep to myself enough
      And the things bottled inside
      Have finally begun to create so much pressure
      That I'd soon blow up and

      I heard the reverberating footsteps
      Sinking up to the beating of my heart
      And I was positive that unless I got myself together
      I would watch me fall apart

      And I can't let that happen again
      Cause then you'll see my heart
      In the saddest state it's ever been
      This is no place to try and live my life

    • So I want everybody to look

      11 years ago

      rogue_rose

      at this screenshot:
      ScreenShot019.jpg

      Now look at Mathfreak's journal count in the last 3 weeks or so. Then look at everybody else's journal count in the last 3 weeks or so.
      I'm not going to say anything else. I have nothing against Lauren. I love her.
      That's all.

    • So This Is The End

      11 years ago

      rogue_rose

      First, I apologize for not having been on a lot lately. I promise I've read all your journals and everything, I just don't have time to post comments cuz there is so much stuff!!
      Second, college. I will be going home at the end of this semester on a somewhat permanent basis. I am currently majoring in graphic design. The first 2 years of classes for graphic design are art classes - by art I mean drawing. I am okay with that, and maybe I would do okay, except I've never taken an art class before in my life. Art was never required at any of the schools I went to, thus I never took it. On the other hand, the other 100+ people I'm competing with to continue in the program have been taking art since at least high school. As a result, my art skills are waaaay behind everyone else. My professor told me that it will take me around 2 years longer to graduate than normal. She suggested that I take at least a semester and go take classes in other subjects and maybe find a different major that I wouldn't have to take the extra time for.
      Sooo... so long Montana, I guess. I'm headed back to Cali to go to school there til I figure out what to do.

    • My Computer Lives!!!

      12 years ago

      rogue_rose

      After a two week forced hiatus, I have returned! Two weeks ago, I got the message on my computer that it could not find the operating system (OS). I had only had my laptop for two weeks, and it broke. smiley4.gif First thing I did was call Jon. He spent an hour and a half on the phone with Dell Tech Support who basically ended up telling him to reinstall the OS. I didn't want to lose my stuff, so I said no way. He and I tried for about a week to fix it ourselves. That didn't work so we gave it to a friend's boyfriend, who is a computer science major. He couldn't fix it, so we took it to the campus tech center 3 or 4 days ago, and they fixed it. smiley0.gif
      They even managed to back up all my data, so I didn't lose my Firefox bookmarks, or my email, or my pictures. I'm happy. All I really wanted was my files. After I got them, I didn't really give a damn what they did to my laptop to try and fix it.
      Sooooo... now I will be back on the internet on a regular basis again. And I'm going to consistently back up my stuff to my external hard drive so that this mess doesn't happen again.

  • About Me

  • Comments (361)

    • mademoiselle

      10 years ago

      Hey, long time no see. Whatcha been up to?

    • rogue0703

      10 years ago

      Hey you... HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Angel_Wings

      11 years ago

      Hey, you. I haven't talked to you in a long time :( I found some internet and thought I'd drop by. I've tried calling, but I get your message machine at home. Tried calling your cell but I was told it was out of service. Anyway, I hope you're all right. If you need to talk or anything I'm here for you.

      I'm leaving this Saturday, so we need to get together and do something :) Call me and let me know what's up, ok? Love ya!

    • mathfreak

      11 years ago

      me too smiley1.gifsmiley12.gif

    • mathfreak

      11 years ago

      Oh yeah! vettes are on my top ten! Sure, I'll take a pic for you...

      BTW, how are you?

    • messenjah

      11 years ago

      meh honestly i just feel completely worthless and yeah

      not really much that can be done about that

    • FlaymKnight

      11 years ago

      Eh, it's no trouble at all. Enjoyed the friendly voice. We were somewhat busy for so late, but nothing I couldn't handle.

    • DarthMario95

      11 years ago

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    • DarthMario95

      11 years ago

      ayyam-i-ha2008day4copy.jpg

    • DarthMario95

      11 years ago

      ayyam-i-ha2008day3copy.jpg

    • DarthMario95

      11 years ago

      ayyam-i-ha2008day2copy.jpg

    • DarthMario95

      11 years ago

      ayyam-i-ha2008day1copy.jpg

    • FlaymKnight

      11 years ago

      February, early, before the Super Bowl (thank goodness).

      Well, hopefully you guys can come over sometime to visit... your sister smiley8.gif

    • mathfreak

      11 years ago

      Oh girl! Stick with it!
      College is so hard, and you pay a heavy price. But I can guarantee you that there is nothing like the feeling of walking across the stage with a degree in hand! What a rush!

      It's times like these that make us better people. You can buckle under the pressure, or analyze what you need to do to stick with it. Call me if you want and I can encourage you some more. smiley0.gif

      Both you guys are in my thoughts often.

      smiley0.gifsmiley12.gif

    • joequincy

      11 years ago

      TAG!

    • messenjah

      11 years ago

      i never spent any time thinking about what kind of guy would be best for Catherine but if I had I probably wouldve come up with someone like Paul

      she really found a great guy

    • FlaymKnight

      11 years ago

      I rode brokeback with joequincy smiley9.gif!
      And I think he liked it. <---Do not highlight smiley7.gif
      Sorry, I told him I'd put that somewhere just to amuse.
      I told you not to highlight it.... <---Do highlight

    • joequincy

      12 years ago

      (right click... save link as)
      www.petersonnealdesign.com/rvb/Class%20Schedule.xlsx

      please print this for me?

    • joequincy

      12 years ago

      Probably not.. although if it were changed to "Unlocked"... it would be a funny gift for a girl to wear for her virgin boyfriend smiley8.gif on their first time.

    • joequincy

      12 years ago

      nsfw undies for you smiley8.gif

      (edit: the pics are nsfw... or, your parents, rather... but they are no more racy than a Victoria's Secret ad)

      Post edited 8/17/07 7:17PM

    • TheFarmDude

      12 years ago

      You probably aren't too far off with calling me a workaholic. My family calls me the same thing.

    • FlaymKnight

      12 years ago

      You're welcome!

    • FlaymKnight

      12 years ago

      This is your reminder to not use Comcast.

    • messenjah

      12 years ago

      well im going to san francisco in november to visit my sister and her (by then) husband so for meeting up thats probably our best bet

    • mathfreak

      12 years ago

      I drooled!.....................a lot!
      Next year definitely! I have friends that live in Monterey! But it is too short notice for me. But yeah, next year!!!
      Thanks! smiley1.gif

    • rogue0703

      12 years ago

      I love you little sister of mine :D
      ((hugs))

    • rogue0703

      12 years ago

      hey brat ... i'll be over to see you eventually tonight :) .....

    • TheXenocide

      12 years ago

      JACKIE!!!!!!!!
      ((hugs))
      ^_^

    • rogue0703

      12 years ago

      hey jax, i put up a brief journal entry on here about the stuff you mentioned in your journal. It's open to everyone, so if your friends are wondering what's going on, they are all more than welcome to go read them.
      love you brat!
      looking forward to seeing you tomorrow :D
      jenny

    • MurcielagoAI

      12 years ago

      hey ignore all the other messages except the one that says stuffs my internet occasionally glitches and makes multiple posts. Damned netscape

    • mathfreak

      12 years ago

      Oh good. I hope you had an awesome time. A friend of ours cried when she left Hawaii. She definitely is going back. I've never beeen....maybe some day smiley1.gif

    • mathfreak

      12 years ago

      Oh, you're back! Yay!

      *holds your compy hostage*

      WhERe ArE ThE PiCs Of HaWaiI?
      GiVe US pIcS OR yOu MaY NoT See CoMpie aGaIN! smiley1.gif

    • messenjah

      12 years ago

      doing something stupid would be... gah i dunno... something involving a lot of alcohol and hookers

      but im not fucked up enough to do that

    • messenjah

      12 years ago

      i dont know... its just... i dont know

      it hurts

      it hurts a lot

      PS i dont see you on msn

    • joequincy

      12 years ago

      lol CONTEST!!!

      if you decide to play along, just have fun... the point is to be stupid, silly, and (above all) not rude or crass... so it should be a blast!
      journal for details

    • ecjulien

      12 years ago

      thanks for the nomination, please help me out by promoting the contest.

    • FleetCommand

      12 years ago

      i modded some your stuff for the help thnx again ^_^

    • FlaymKnight

      12 years ago

      More Halo 3 stuffs here. More pictures coming tomorrow!

    • humbledone

      12 years ago

      i am doing good

    • humbledone

      12 years ago

      how are you doing

    • joequincy

      12 years ago

      grrr... showing off your special smiley powerz is not nice.

      ;)
      I love you <3

      at 9 then.

    • joequincy

      12 years ago

      yah... I just think it's funny that microsoft would advertise with that...

    • joequincy

      12 years ago

      geekinbed.bmp

    • joequincy

      12 years ago

      e.png

    • DarthMario95

      12 years ago

      ridvan2007copy-1.jpg

    • joequincy

      12 years ago

      burnie460c454f97c5d.jpg

      Finch the cat is the one on the bottom.

      I knew I wasn't going crazy.

    • gib_niblets

      12 years ago

      Hey, thanks for the comment. Yea, it does suck to be dumped, and tht cuts pretty deep sometimes.
      But yea, iunno.
      And blood diamond was one of the best films I have seen this year.
      Leonardo DiCaprio is probably the best actor out there, IMO

    • joequincy

      12 years ago

      yes.
      You need to say:
      I'm now on Facebook!

    • joequincy

      12 years ago

      joequincy445ff172189a5.jpg

  • Questions

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