safarimari

Female
from Minnesota

  • Activity

    • Vent Post?

      3 years ago

      safarimari

      In a sense. It might be lots of me being vague to be honest.


      What can I say? I haven't really been active in the RT community, though it'll always have a special place in my heart. I guess I've just been floating to other outlets since those are starting to inspire me more now. I used to make tons of RT gifs and edits but so many other talented people have come in that I just don't feel necessary anymore, let alone not having ideas for like 2 years now. But w/e. Just knowing I can always come back is nice.


      School's fine, my head's above water for now, but future me is going to hate past me pretty soon.


      And life...well, my friends are great, I have a cat, and I'm finally making decent pay so money won't be an issue anytime soon.


      My relationship is iffy, sometimes it's great, sometimes it's a piece of shit and I don't quite know what to do. It's the little things stacking up over time and so often I wonder if I'm the problem. I say what's on my mind (a.k.a what's bothering me) and then I'm shot down like I shouldn't be so selfish, that I should see his side of things. I like to think I'm very open-minded, the cool, relaxed girlfriend, but maybe I'm not. Maybe I'm just fooling myself. I very well might whine and complain all the time like the drama queen I am (actual words used by him).


      Of course, if a person has hurt you, they don't get to decide whether they did or not, right?


      Idk, I'm hoping to get my own place this summer since living together doesn't seem to be working out anymore. It's come to the point where I can't even tell him if I'm anything other than happy because my feelings are immediately invalidated. Bleah, I need to find myself a nice girl. Actually, I have but she's straight (I think) and one of my best friends so hooray for unrequited love...


      This next thing is off topic and super heavy so don't read any further if you're already worn out...


      Three people I went to school with are dead now. I wasn't even that close to them and two of them I hadn't seen since second grade. It's really affecting me though and I don't know why. I've been close to breaking down in tears over practical strangers. Maybe I hate how they went, how they were so young, had so much ahead of them and now are just gone. Their profiles won't change, so much of their lives will remain stagnant...it's just an uncomfortable feeling.


      I hope you're all surrounded by loving, caring people who respect you for you. I think you guys are great, even if I haven't talked to any of you lately/at all. Wish you all the best too.

    • 3 years ago

      safarimari
    • Professional Potato

      4 years ago

      safarimari

      Guess who finally remembered their login info for this site? Yeh it's been a summer -_-

      Anyways, even though I'm not going to RTX this year, I'm excited to see all of the people that are able to go!! I hope you all have a great time (well, of course you will!!) and maybe I'll be able to catch you guys next year! Exclamation point...

      But, high point, I'm able to get into my burned apartment next week and salvage whatever hasn't been ruined by weather at this point. Hopefully I can find my DS as that was one of the only big item things that didn't make it out. I am also going to be moving to the Cities in August so yay for being closer to RTMN events than before and being away from my boring hometown.

      I'm excited for this school year to start. I'm just going for a two year program to get my certification in Sign Language interpreting, but it's going to be two years of change, poverty, and adventure heh. Did I mentioned I've graduated already? Well, just in case you didn't know, I did succeed in getting my BS in Biology with a minor in Deaf Studies. Woooo

      Hope you guys are well, sorry I'm always MIA. I just get incredibly lazy tbh.

      ALSO LAZER TEAM I AM SO PUMPED I CAN'T WAIT

    • Things We Lost in the Fire by Bastille

      4 years ago

      safarimari

      So...long story short, my friend and I lost our apartment to a fire a few days ago (sorry for the irony). Luckily, everyone in our complex survived and we managed to save a few things.

      I really didn't tell people about this, because I'm okay and so is everyone else. I've reached the state of "everything's replaceable and everyone lived" plus my friend and I are surrounded by wonderful people who are helping us through this. Never thought my first couch surfing experience would be because of this.

      Guess this journal is just to collect my thoughts and put things into perspective. While my friend's room did okay, my ceiling caved in and I lost mostly everything else that wasn't my computer (and PS3, that fireman knew what was up). Red Cross has helped us out, so no worries there either. I just wish I hadn't reacted so emotionally when I was told about the fire. I thought of my material possessions before the lives of others and it wasn't until I calmed down that I realized I could've lost my friend and boyfriend that day. I am upset, but more so that I was selfish and, now, that I can't help out the other victims of the fire as much as I want to.

      In a way, I feel weird that I'm looking at some of this in a comedic viewpoint too, but to me, there's no sense in just wallowing. What happened, happened, and while it's okay to be sad about it, life goes on. My friend is so surprised by how calm I am, but I got my irrational behaviour out of the way and settled into the 'eh' to more positive mindset. Kind of like when you know you bombed a test but that it won't affect your grade that much. Maybe it's because I don't have finals to worry about? I don't know. My friend is still in school and she almost lost her textbooks, homework, etc. It was the first time I heard her cry in my life and it still lingers.

      It's amazing how quickly something can be ripped away from you with a blink of an eye. I guess it is essentially your whole life, and suddenly, you're left with...not much. Until you see who drops everything, changes so much, to help you and you realize, you have everything you need. Sure, possessions are nice, hold meaning, but compared to the love and caring of friends, objects are just that. I am truly happy lives were not taken away and that everyone was able to have friends and family to get them through this. Life can be really lovely, even in disaster.

      Anyways, I think that's what I needed to hash out. Hope you guys are well and if you haven't been told this yet today, you are important, you are loved, and you matter.

    • 4 years ago

      safarimari
    • Upd8

      4 years ago

      safarimari

      Oh man, how is everyone? I'm so sorry for my absence. I've always meant to post sooner, but things kind of came crashing down all at once, from graduating to more serious issues. Right around Monty's death, I lost my aunt and a close family friend had his cancer return in his leg, which meant it had to be amputated. It's been an emotional time for me and I guess I just needed to bury myself away.

      I'm also in between jobs and just trying to figure out things financially, but I'm at an okay spot right now I think. Really hitting on my patience for everyone though. From family to my s/o, it's just been feeling hectic and even the internet has begun to lose its holding as a safe space for me.

      Anyways, enough about my life. How are you guys? I honestly hope everything is going well. You are great, please don't forget that. Also also, I hope to meet some of you someday! I can't make it to RTX this year, but perhaps next year. Really contemplating on applying as a guardian for next year's despite the fact that I'm super shy and I'm a sheep. I can be a bowling ball when needed though, so I guess that count for something? Who knows. Certainly not me. -_-

      And hay, Happy belated 12 years to Rooster Teeth!! I'm super excited for Lazer Team too, especially since I met another local friend who likes RT and we plan on going to the movie together!! :D

      Stay Groovy everyone, I'll work on being more active here :)

    • 4 years ago

      safarimari

      Goodness, how is everyone? I hope you all are good! Sounds like a lot of stuff is happening your guys' lives and I hope if it's up, it stays up, and if it's down, I hope things get better soon smiley12.gif

      I must apologize for being MIA for the longest time. School is kicking my butt this semester, plus maintaining a social life is hanging on by a thread. You guys are still welcome to talk to me whenever though and I'll do my best to remember I have an account on this site haha.

      On another note, I'M SO HAPPY MINECRAFT MINIMATIONS ARE A THING NOW!! I remember seeing Chris's stuff on YouTube and having my fingers crossed that he'd eventually work for Rooster Teeth and now here he is doing exactly that with one of the things that kicked off his career (I think?). It's awesome and I'm just so so excited for him!!

      I need to catch up on RT videos and RvB. I know some things have happened at the end of season 12 and I'm doing everything I can to avoid spoilers. Hopefully this weekend I can get around to watching some videos.

      Anyways, hope you all are great!! Stay groovy!! smiley9.gif

    • Pre-school Update

      4 years ago

      safarimari

      Ugh, so not ready for school to start. It's my last semester (hopefully) though, so just gotta charge on through and hope for the best. I got some pretty sage advice that I wish I had heard freshman year, so I've decided to try extra hard this time around. Not that I haven't, but...you get what I mean.

      At any rate, my time on here may be nonexistent except when I get stressed or something mega-awesome happens. I'll try to check up on all of you when I can, so don't hesitate to send me a message at any time :)

      Best of luck to all of you, whether it's back to school or figuring out your life or even just working your job! You're awesome and I hope it's a great fall for you guys ^^

      Catch you all on the flip side ;P

    • [muffled Disney music in the distance]

      5 years ago

      safarimari

      I need to start utilizing this website more. As of now, it's just a side thing that I don't really visit as often as I'd like.

      Forums still confuse me though and I often get too scared to post anything on forums even if it is relevant to my interests. I feel like I don't have anything interesting to say or anything to contribute...

      At any rate, I guess I'm just really looking for a place to vent as well. I'd like to do it here, but I don't want to seem like all I do is complain, especially since most of the stuff I talk about isn't bad compared to other people's lives.

      We shall see where the river takes me. Hope you all have a great day! :)

    • Confidence

      5 years ago

      safarimari

      Open question to anyone: How did you become confident or how are you working at it?

      I would really like to become more confident in myself, but I don't know where to start. I have definitely progressed since high school, but I still need some work. I'm kinda sick of being the shy, socially awkward person because I feel like people don't want to be friends with a person like that.

      But that's a problem too. Social situations are soooo uncomfortable to me that I can't be with a huge group of people for very long before I need to isolate myself. I think I'm just scared of being called out for something or being judged and that in itself isn't the best thing to think, because then, am I not being judgmental?

      It's mainly on-the-spot things I think. I need to have all my thoughts sorted out, so when I'm asked a question where I need to make a decision right then or I get in trouble for something, my mind blanks out and I freeze. It makes me wish I could wear a wristband or something to let people know that I'm overly sensitive and need to be gently talked to in order to not have a breakdown. That or I'm just a big ol' weakling. I don't know.

      But anyways, I've strayed from my original thought. In short, I'd like to be more confident. Suggestions?

      Hope you all are doing fantastic!!

  • Comments (6)

    • Zack FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Zatch

      5 years ago

      Where in MN are you at? Are you close enough/did you see this? roosterteeth.com/groups/news/entry.php?id=7848...

      • safarimari

        5 years ago

        That would be so awesome!! I definitely want to try to get to the July or August one if something is planned!!

      • Zack FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Zatch

        5 years ago

        Well they happen every month if everything goes to plan! Hopefully the world doesn't end soon, there should be plenty more chances to go to one. :D

      • safarimari

        5 years ago

        Oh, I did see that event!! Unfortunately, I think my friend is having her birthday party on the same day and we're both up in the Duluth/Esko area...I reaaallly want to attend a local community day, but they always end up on the most inconvenient days for me... >.<

    • Zack FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Zatch

      5 years ago

      I'm the first to leave a comment! I'm awesome! You're awesome!

      • safarimari

        5 years ago

        Haha yay!!! You are awesome! ^^ and I'm not really all that great but thank youu >3<

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