it’s weird. it’s really weird. i joined a stream to talk to someone i followed on tumblr ( bc im actually lowkey shy like that ) and ended up finding somewhere i belonged. in amongst the sex jokes, the heartfelt discussions, the challenges and the roasting, i found a community.
honestly, when i decided to join that stream, i didn’t really expect to be laughing along, making fun of the other viewers with everyone else, but i did. i didn’t expect to learn people’s names, or to add people on skype at the end. i didn’t expect to be added to their group chat. but, most of all, i didn’t expect to be so utterly welcomed. people didn’t question me, didn’t alienate me. i was so relieved. never before in my life had people so quickly warmed to me. i felt honoured.
my life was so different then than it is now, and i have all of you to thank for that. you all accepted me for the asshole i was - and still am - you never pushed me away. back then, i wasn’t comfortable with where i was. i didn’t feel like i had anyone i could talk to, could get advice from, who really understood me.
now, i can’t imagine it. i can’t imagine not checking twitter, seeing all the conversations i missed, full of inside jokes i don’t need to understand to smile at. there’s an overwhelming joy, being able to see how talented everyone is and being able to speak to them about it without feeling awkward.
this is all thanks to you, dylan and taylor. all of it is thanks to you. if you hadn’t of started this - if you hadn’t decided to stream, i wouldn’t have found some of the most important people in my life - including the both of you. i want to say thank you. from the bottom of my heart. if you hadn’t have been as funny as you both are, i doubt i would have stayed. the idea that i would have missed all of this is upsetting. you both managed to pull together a community - no, scratch that - a family. just by being yourselves.
sure, we have our faults. but, at the end of the day, we’ll always be by each other. regardless as to whether that’s to support, to mock, to roast, to love, to tease etc. it doesn’t matter. thanks to all of you, i’ve become more confident. if you asked me before if i’d ever fly by myself, i definitely would’ve said no. but now? well - i already have.
i should probably wrap this post up now. i just want to say: to all of you who are new, who still have so many wondrous months, who are still deciding whether to stay with us; you won't regret it. in fact, you might find what you’ve been looking for this entire time. i know i sure did.