from manassas,virginia

    • sykobiotch


      7 years ago

      my lil green guy (yoshi) died yesterday. he was a baby still and he just stopped eating and i tried everything i could and i was going to call the vet and it was too late ='(. i miss him.

      edit: i got a new water dragon though. she's older and bigger. i named her jade. but i'll miss my lil yoshi =/

    • sykobiotch


      7 years ago

      fuck liars!

    • sykobiotch


      7 years ago

      so i really need to vent. alright so here's whats going on. well the other day my bf decides to not talk to me n e more and i worried the whole 2 days we didn't talk, he knows i react that way too. then i find out he's been partying again and ignoring me. i called a bunch of his drug buddies and found out where he was. he refused to talk to me and was telling everyone we broke up when we never had that conversation. and this is fucking ridiculous because just 3 days ago we were all lovey dovey and like things r getting better and we're going to make it blah blah fuckity blah. he's about to lose everything right now. he's going to lose his freedom and go back to jail the way things r going, he's going to lose me the one girl that's always been there for him and supported him the whole way, he's going to lose all of the good friends he has because they're sick of his stupid shit, and he was going to build a relationship with his family but fucked that up again. he is seriously the most confusing person ever. he txtd me just recently and said we'll talk tomorrow. i'm going to give it to him straight and be like hey ur a fucked up loser who cares nothing about n e one else and ur going to lose everything that was once good in ur life. he might not even give a fuck because he wants to do the stupid shit he used to do. but n e ways i'm also going to let him know if he can change his ways and get his shit straight i'll think about getting back w him but until then fuck him. he treats me like shit when i treat him like gold, it's fucking ridiculous. so we'll see wat happens tomorrow. but i really want to know how any person that claims to truly love someone and care about them just randomly stop talking to u and tell everyone that u broke up when that didn't even happen yet. i mean that's some truly fucked up shit. mind u we've been dating a yr and 8 mo now and he can't get his shit straight when at the get go he asked what he needed to do to be w me again and i said get a job stay clean and don't cheat. and in our yr and 8 mo he hasn't kept a job and hasn't stayed clean and has been hiding the fact he was using and he has cheated on me. all the while i'm giving him more and more chances when i really shouldn't but i really believed in him. it's a shame and it breaks my heart to know he wants to ruin his life and ruin everything. i can't understand him. i love him to death and i've always been truthful when i've said i wanted a future w himbut this was the last straw because i've been putting up w this shit for too long and i even know i don't deserve that. he knows too but apparently doesn't care too much or he'd show it. i'm really upset about it even though it's what i need to do. it's been hard for me to sleep and eat the past couple days. (i haven't cried all day and here i go) just makes me so sad that things have to end and i'm so worried he's going to be homeless and just living with drug buddies again. we've been through so much together and i love him with all my heart and soul but i just can't deal w this n e more. it's just so fucked up. well n e ways...i needed to vent. and those that read this, thanx. hope all is going well in ur lives.

      edit: soooo, sean and i talked. i thought it went well and i spent the night w/ him at his friends house. then this morning said it was a mistake and said that he lied to me still and he cheated on me w/ 1 of his friends exs 3 times and called his ex gf (that he dumped me for when we 1st dated) he called her and they hung out in the room i was working 2 jobs for him to stay in and pay 600 $ for it. he's so fucked up. n e ways i'm not talking to him unless he can stop doing that shit cuz that's just too far and i'm not going to tolerate that shit. that's ridiculous! n e ways just wanted to keep u guys updated if u care lol peace!

    • sykobiotch


      7 years ago

      chris-ma-hanna-kwan-zika! smiley0.gif

    • sykobiotch


      7 years ago

      thought that i would write some stuff about life just because i'm really bored. but anyways, sean has gone to rehab. he left the end of november which kinda stinks but i get 2 c him every saturday 4 2 hours which is kinda nice especially cuz i didn't think i was going 2 get 2 see him @ all. they have the most ridiculous rules there. he got in trouble for eating 2 bowls of cereal. how dumb! but eventually he'll get extended visits and 48 hour passes so that he can leave longer. but yea, he'll be there till about febuary. ugh. but it's for the best and we both know that things are going 2 be much better between us after he gets out. hopefully not long after he gets out he'll get a job around here and then we'll finally be able to move out and be together. and when that happens things will be just about perfect. i'm sorry for rambling about him but i really miss him and i'm trying 2 pass the time so i'm not totally bored sitting around my house.

      in other job is going well. katelyn (the girl that i work with) is such a sweetheart. if i feel crappy in the morning she'll come off the bus w/ the biggest smile and make me feel better cuz she really enjoys coming to school and hanging out w/ me. it's a really great feeling. in january she's getting this surgery that they typically do on parkinson's patients where they put an implant kinda thing on their brain to help control muscles. she gets these spasms and she describes them as being a charlie horse all over ur body. she's such an amazing girl and i hope the best for her. she's 15 and she'd do anything to be able to talk like everyone else and walk and just to be able to have more friends and get a boyfriend. she's basically trapped in her body. she can't communicate verbally and can only use sign language and her computer she has and it sux so much cuz she's a smart girl. it's just hard 4 her 2 do things like everyone else because the spasms kinda control her life. one incident in her life when she was in 1st grade changed her life completely. i hope that the surgery she's getting will help tremendously because she deserves it.

      and other than that, i'm confused about college. i'm not sure wat i really want to do with my life. i really don't want to go 2 college because i hate school but then again i want more for myself. to make a decent amount of money and to be able to own a house one day. i'm not sure of wat i want 2 do because i always second guess things. like o that's too hard or i'm not good enuff. it's so stupid that i do that but i dunno. i feel like if my heart's not in it completely i shouldn't do it because i definately don't want to be stuck doing something i won't enjoy for a long ass time. i dunno. i hope to figure it out soon since i'm going to community college and i don't want to waste money by taking things i'm not sure i want to do. ugh. it's so frustrating. hope things become clearer soon enough.

      if you actually read all this i'm surprised. it's long and quite pointless to read because i'm just letting shit out number one cuz i'm bored and 2 because it's good 2 let stuff out sometimes. but n e ways, if u did take the time 2 read this crap (lol) then thanx. that's cool of u. and if not, that's cool 2. talk 2 u ppl later.

      -megan smiley1.gif

    • sykobiotch

      an update...

      7 years ago

      so bday was monday and i'm 20 now (woo hoo lol). i gota new phone though which was nice but the only reason i got it is cuz my other 1 drowned in kool-aid haha funny stuff. i recently decided that i'm changing the degree i'm going for from teacher education specialization to math specialization because i'm almost positive i want to be a math teacher for high school and to do that i have to specialize in that area but it'll be cool. the other day my boyfriend saw his p.o. and he gets to go 2 rehab for 3 months. i'll miss him alot, probably more than anything but we both know it's going to be so much better when he gets out and i'm super proud of him for wanting to do it smiley0.gif . and yea lol i have recently taken up magic the gathering and warcraft cuz of my boyfriend, so now i'm a super nerd...yayuh! haha. but yea, things have been going pretty well. i hope everything is going great with all of you smiley0.gif . i'll update again some other time. peace out smiley11.gifsmiley9.gif

    • sykobiotch

      so here's wat happened

      7 years ago

      yea so....sean and i are back 2gether. we talked everything out and everything's fine again. he'll probably be going 2 rehab soon and then a 1/2 way house (which will probably be better than his friends' house his @ now). things are going 2 get better. and as 4 that skank he cheated on me with...well that was a mistake he made and it'll never happen again and i don't think he'll be seeing much of her n e more either cuz he'll be busy doing shit w/ his life. but things are going great again. i'm happy, he's happy, we're all happy. haha. well, just thought i'd let everyone know. peace out!

    • sykobiotch


      7 years ago

      ok...i thought i'd update a lil

      well...sean and i broke up about 2 weeks ago because he decided 2 blow me off all the time 4 his friends who use when supposedly he's trying 2 get clean

      last week i found out that he cheated on me 3 weeks ago with the biggest slut ever! (no joke, she sleeps w/ like every's disgusting)

      yesterday i needed some1 2 talk 2 so i go over and try 2 talk 2 him and i tell him i just want 2 talk as friends cuz i was having a shitty night and instead of being there 4 me he got pissed off cuz i was there and told me that that's the reason we're broken up (me wanting 2 talk 2 him....uh huh....except i broke up w/ him so watever) and he was just mad and was like "i'm just going 2 walk away" and he did so i sat by my car and cried wondering y i put myself throu
      gh this shit

      after all of that stuff i'm not sure wat 2 do n e's true that i do love him w/ all my heart and i'm even nice enuff 2 give him the option of working things out so we can get back 2gether (he's supposedly going 2 let me know wat he's doing w/ his life on monday)....but yea shit's fucked up...i'm stuck between 2 things....i don't want 2 give up on him because i do know that deep down he's a great person but @ the same time he treats me like shit after i do so much for him (i'm even going 2 pay 512 bucks for his court costs)...i also worry that if i'm not there 4 him that he's going 2 ruin his life completely and i don't want 2 feel like i let him down...but @ the same time i know that he's not even trying 2 help himself....this whole situation just blows...i'm willing 2 forgive him 4 the shit he's done (i won't 4get it but i'll forgive him) but if he decides that he's going 2 make changes in his life so that i'll take him back then we're going 2 have 2 have a serious talk because shit can't be like this 4ever...i don't want 2 waste time on some1 and have it lead 2 no where then i'll just regret ever being w/ him cuz it wasted time
      that i could've met new ppl....i'm not full of myself or n e thing but would be the biggest mistake of his life to not try 2 fix things....the 1st time we broke up (3 years ago) that bascially got him 2 where he is 2day because when we dated the 1st time he was innocent (he never made out w/ n e 1, he wasn't into pot, he didn't drink) and after he left me 4 this slutbag he turned into a major pot head and turned into a manwhore and that's y he's having problems's all because of that...3 years i know if i never talk 2 him it'll just get worse and he could end up in prison or something...and no matter how bad he treats me (which is sad) i wish the best 4 him especially because he's had a rough life

      i just wish things were easier

      i wish that i never met him sometimes

      i wish i didn't care smiley2.gif

      so n e ways i talked 2 him 2day...and he said he wasn't going 2 talk 2 me till he gets out of rehab and i asked if he even talked 2 his p.o. yet and of course not so i tell him i met this guy and he's much better and he just walks back inside and won't let me finish talking cuz he's a loser....but hey he refused 2 change so it's his own fault

    • sykobiotch


      7 years ago bf and i broke up...#1 he's been a dick lately and #2 he's probably going 2 be gone for 3 months....the reason he'll be gone for 3 months is cuz he's trying to go 2 rehab to better himself which is good but he's been a dick because i wanted 2 c him as much as possible b4 he goes and he blows me off for his friends which is fucked up cuz we had plans'd be different if he had plans w/ them 1st and i was sick of that shit so i said "u can talk 2 me when u get out and will c how it works then" and he just kind of didn't care which made me upset more...but wat the fuck ever i guess and if he comes to me in 3 months and can prove to me that he's better and finds a job and is better to me i'll get back with him but until then...fuck now i'll try 2 find a new boy man =) haha....but other than that gay crap everything's been job is pretty great and school is's school not much 2 say about that lol...well yea i'm gonna go....bye

    • sykobiotch


      8 years ago

      yea i'm finally writing something new (on my new laptop btw lol) but yea i thought if u guys get bored u can read something new about watz going on in my o so exciting life lol.....but yea....well i start going 2 community college on wednesday which hopefully won't be so bad...i mean i'm taking 7 classes but 2 r online and 1 is self paced so that's cool but i'm going to go to get my associate degree in general studies with a teacher education specialization (think i spelled that right lol) and then after the 2 years in community college i'll transfer and go to a 4 year school....probably george mason cuz it's close by

      in other news i start my new job september 4th (woooo!!!)...i'm going to be an instructional assistant for just one girl who's a freshman in high school (so i'll be working @ my old school which will be interesting working w/ my old teachers lol) but n e ways i'll be working with her because she's in a wheelchair and has spasms and is non verbal so she needs help doing work and getting around the school n stuff....but i'm really excited to be working w/ her....i met her and her family and they're wonderful people and she's a sweetheart =) i'll be making 13.49 an hour....hell yea!!! lol....but yea i'm really super excited and hopefully i'll be doing that till she graduates cuz that'd be awesome....especially since i'm only 19 (20 in november) and i already basically have a career....that's pretty sweet and i'm actually proud of myself =)

      and on my's going well....our 1 year (or 1 yr and 8 months---total) is in september and he's been clean for a month now and i'm very proud of him for that...i've come to understand how hard it is to be going through wat he's going through cuz it's not like they have a patch or gum for his addiction lol....but i support him in all that he's doing to not smoke pot n e more and i'm very proud =)

      so yea life's going pretty darn well if i do say so myself....i hope all is going well for the rest of u!!!! =)....thanx 4 reading if u did

  • About Me

    Confuscious say man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day...

    ~wise words of WiseDRGN

    and i accept all random friend requests cuz i'm just that nice lol

    if u leave me comments i will <3 u 4ever lol

    and i'm not really syko 4 all u ppl that might think's just a name

    i don't have xbl n e more...sry

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  • Comments (999)

    • badcarma


      11 months ago

      Hello there!

    • Dia


      1 year ago

      hey hows it going?

    • pvtdeadguy


      6 years ago

      It was you, i was looking at my buddy list on aim. you were |\/| something right i was vampybobble

    • MySecondSelf


      6 years ago

      Did you know that dolphins sleep only one half of their brain at a time?

    • halocom


      6 years ago

      was up

    • halocom


      6 years ago


    • Macgunnny


      6 years ago


    • Dane_SFC


      7 years ago


    • fox007


      7 years ago

      To bad about your lil green guy. smiley2.gif he will be missed

    • SARGE999


      7 years ago

      wow we have the same b day but ur 5 years older then me haha kool :)