My continued story.
I lean my head back against the wall. My husband offered to come with me today, but I assured him he didn't need to since I wouldn't actually be visiting him. Now I wish he was here just to hug me. He always knows what I'm thinking in situations like this.
My phone rings. I pull it out of my purse and smile. Speaking of the devil. My husband's voice is a relief to hear. "Hi dear. Are you ok?'
I feel tears well up in my eyes. I choke out, "I'm ok.' He lets a pause linger, probably hoping I fill it so he won't have to ask, but I don't.
"How's your father?' he asks for my benefit, not my father's.
"He's sleeping, " I respond, blinking several times to prevent the tears from flowing.
"Are you going to see him?' he asks with more worry for me.
"No. I'll be leaving here shortly,' I answer. I hear a sigh of relief on his end of the line.
"How about I meet you at my folks' house? They are out with the kids. It'll give us time to talk.'
"That works,' I reply, grateful he is so understanding.
"I love you dear.'
"I love you too bud. Bye.' I hang up and put my phone back in my purse.
I sigh, standing to walk back to my dad's door. He is still asleep. I'm glad. I look at him with disappointment. Why couldn't you be a father? You were, at one point in time. I remember the day I was bitten by a dog. You were the one that picked me up and cleaned my wound. When I was sick, you held my forehead and my hair back when I puked in the toilet. When mom and brother would laugh at me, you didn't as you knew I was already embarrassed. Instead, you cared for me. When we'd drive places, you didn't mind if I sang with my headphones on, even though I sing off key. When we'd go fishing, you'd help me untangle my line and it wouldn't bother you when I caught more fish than you. But then you'd have to drink on the drive home. Mom always told me to not get in the car with you if you were drinking. But how? How is a little girl who is scared of her father's temper supposed to tell him no? How?! More importantly, how is a little girl supposed to trust men if she doesn't trust the very first man in her life? The one man who is supposed to love her even if no other man ever does? I can't make you love me.
I stare through the glass door with blurry vision at this empty man. He is on oxygen and enough drugs to keep him asleep, to keep those angry eyes closed. I feel a tear roll down my cheek. I wipe it away and shake my head. You did this all to yourself.
I thank God for putting my husband in my life, a man who is completely opposite of my father. A man who knows how to be a good father to our kids. Our kids, who have never met my father. I smile as I know this man will never have the chance to hurt my kids the way he did me. With that, I button up my coat, take one final look at my father, and whisper, "Goodbye.'
5 years agouragayrobot
My continued story.
5 years agouragayrobot
I have been disowned by my father within the last year. He believes I'm not really his. He told me if I didn't take a DNA test to prove this, he was going to take me out of his will. Needless to say, I did not take the DNA test and we haven't talked since that conversation. I have been seeing a counselor, even though I am a counselor myself, to discuss all of the mental craziness that is my father. My counselor challenged me to think about the future between my father and me. It's easier for me to write, so I'm going to share the story I wrote about my life in the future.
I stare through the glass window of the hospital room at this old man. His hair is thin and white. His skin is yellow like the pages of an old book. I hardly recognize him. As I study his face something doesn't seem right; other than the fact that he has oxygen tubes in his nose. Then I notice his face muscles are relaxed, he looks peaceful. Why is this? I frown in puzzlement at this man. His eyes are closed and they flicker lightly as he dreams. His eyes! If his eyes were open, he wouldn't look this calm. A chill runs down my spine as I come to this realization.
It's been 27 years since I've talked to him and 28 years since I've seen him. I hadn't planned on ever seeing him again, which is why I'm standing behind his closed door with my hands shoved in my coat pockets. I don't want to be tempted to knock or open the door.
This man is my father. My father who disowned me and took me out of his will, so what am I doing at his hospital room? I shake my head as I don't know the answer to that question. My mother. She found out from my brother that my father was in the hospital. All of those years of dad drinking finally caught up with him and now his liver is failing. What a waste. I shake my head again; this time out of sorrow. I look at him and feel flooded with disappointment.
A nurse walks up to me, "Excuse me ma'am, but if you aren't going to go in, would you mind sitting in the waiting room?' In other words, I'm in the way.
"He is asleep,' I say, like that explains why I'm stalking him.
The nurse smiles, but her smile is forced. "You can wake him if you'd like.'
"No,' I say, looking back through the glass door. "Would it be ok if I just stay here a minute longer?'
The nurse's smile fades. A concerned look takes its place. "Is everything alright, ma'am?'
I don't know how to answer her question, so I don't.
She pats my arm and says in a gentler tone, "I know it's hard to see them like this. Take your time. You can stay here as long as you'd like.' She removes her hand and makes her way down the sterile hallway to another patient's room.
I look at him. Hard to see them like this? No, lady, it's hard to see him in general. How many times growing up did I turn down offers to go places with him just because I didn't want to be in his presence? This man, who looks so calm and relaxed in this hospital bed, is not at all the same man I know from personal encounters. Do people here know him? Have they witnessed his harsh tone with stone cold eyes? Or does he put on that fake act to make them think he is a really outstanding guy? That thought about makes me sick. I roll my eyes just thinking about how he used to put on a show for people making them believe he is a really great father. He came to all of my volleyball and basketball games, but people didn't know what it was like behind closed doors. They never heard all the nasty names this great "Christian' guy would call my mom. They don't know that when she was pregnant with me, he had her pinned in the corner of the kitchen, hitting her or how he pushed her down the stairs because she didn't put away the groceries correctly.
I turn my head away from his window. I collapse on the chair outside of his room, unable to handle all of the memories crashing into my head like a tidal wave. I take a deep breath and unbutton my coat as the hallway suddenly feels too hot. My wedding day, the day my father didn't walk me down the aisle, the first public embarrassment for him. I believe that's the day my father made up his mind to disown me.
We had a conversation about a week prior to the wedding. I told him my brother was going to walk me down the aisle. He was dead quiet after that, like the calm before the storm. That storm came a couple days later. He told me I hurt him by not having him walk me down the aisle as that was a "father's' job. I explained how I wasn't trying to hurt him and told him it was because we weren't close. The fact is, I couldn't stand to see him looking so proud and boastful while walking me down the aisle. He isn't even a real father to me, but I didn't know how to tell him that. Then he said that he wondered if he was even my father. I said, "That makes two of us.' I meant it in the sense that he doesn't act like a father. I didn't realize he meant it biologically until he said, "We can get a DNA test to prove it.' Really?! I was pissed! His rage peaked and there were those eyes, those wild angry eyes, they matched the eyes I saw before.
I had arrived at his house one evening when I was a freshman in high school. The door was locked and when he came to the door, he greeted with, "What are you doing here?' He'd been drinking and I could smell the alcohol on his breath. I tried to smile to defuse him, but I could see it wasn't working. He went into the living room and sat on the couch without saying a word. Again, the calm before the storm. I sat on the other end of the couch and didn't say anything. Suddenly, he blew up! I don't even remember what he was yelling, just those eyes. There was so much rage in them. His eyes were like Scar's from The Lion King; yellow, hateful. That's the first time I thought he was going to hit me.
My journal entry is too long, so please continue to the next to finish the story.
8 years agouragayrobot
9 years agouragayrobot
9 years agouragayrobot
I just got married a few weeks ago and I had a lot of doubts about marriage. My parents are divorced and there was a lot of emotional, physical, verbal abuse going on between them. My husband and I were together seven years before we got married (two yrs engaged). He has been a true blessing from God! I didn't treat him so well though (to this day I don't know why he stuck around). I didn't think our relationship was going to last from high school to college because I've heard how many relationships don't make it. I figured it'd be easier if I forced him to leave rather than having him leave on his own; I thought this would protect me somehow. Our freshman year of college I treated him pretty awful (which he has forgiven me for). There were nights when he would storm out of my dorm room. I figured he wouldn't be back ever. He called an hour and a half later and said he was sitting in his car in the parking lot of my dorm because he couldn't leave. That happened three times that I remember, but I'm sure it occurred more frequently than that. During this same time I had a friend who was in the hospital for bulimia and my husband's little sister was in the same hospital at the same time for the same reason (not to mention we were also adjusting to college life, which everyone knows is a challenge in itself). My sophomore year of college I finally realized that he really wasn't going anywhere and he truly did love me. I knew then that if I didn't change my behavior I really was going to lose him, which was the last thing I wanted. By pushing him away, I was doing nothing but hurting him and me. Deep down I knew he loved me more than I could ever love him back, so I prayed about it. I asked God to help the deep love grow within me, so I could truly love him as much as he loved me. The summer before my senior year of college, my husband convinced me to work at a camp. I thought he was crazy for a suggesting it, but I thought I was even crazier for agreeing. That summer was incredible! It seemed like every week I had a difficult cabin with the issues that the girls were working through in their personal lives. It was one of the best experiences of my life. God was stretching me beyond where I thought my abilities ended and I had to rely on a lot of awesome cabin leaders for support. I remember after that summer my husband's mom said she could tell I was more committed to her son. I could tell a difference in our relationship, but I still felt like he loved me more than I could ever love him back, so I prayed about it some more. Our senior year of college, on our five year anniversary, he proposed. It was absolutely beautiful! I felt joyful, but I didnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t feel my heart pouring out love like I hoped, so I prayed for God to fill my heart with the deep love I knew I was missing. I graduated from college in May, but he wasnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t going to graduate until December. I knew I wanted to do counseling, but I couldnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t do that with a Psychology degree, so I decided to start working on my MasterÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s. We agreed that we would both be done with school before we married, so after I was accepted into grad school I planned out my classes and found out I would be done May 2010, so we booked the church for May 22. About a month before graduation, I found out I wouldnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t be graduating on time due to my internship. This was really disappointing news, but it was too late to change the wedding date, so we decided weÃ¢â‚¬â„¢d go ahead and get married and I would graduate a semester later. I was so focused on classes, homework, internship, etc. that the wedding really snuck up on me. The day seemed to fly by. As I was waiting to make my grand entrance in front of everyone, I prayed to God. I told God that I didnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t know if what I was doing was right, so I was going to trust Him with this, b/c I always believed He put us together for a reason, even though my doubts about marriage were still with me. I felt a calmness come over me as I smiled and made my way to the front of the church to meet my groom. Everyone said it was a really nice wedding and one of my momÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s friends commented,Ã¢â‚¬Å“You can tell he really loves her.Ã¢â‚¬Â I donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t recall anyone making the comment,Ã¢â‚¬Å“You can tell she really loves him.Ã¢â‚¬Â This saddened me a bit as I thought about how great his love is for me, since itÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s so obvious to people. I prayed about it again, asking God to fill me with that same love. A month into our marriage, I finally got my prayer answered. My husband and I were talking late one evening and I told him someone posed the question, Ã¢â‚¬Å“What is hindering your connection to God?Ã¢â‚¬Â I answered, Ã¢â‚¬Å“Love.Ã¢â‚¬Â I explained how God loves us unconditionally, but we can never fully understand His love. If weÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ve never been shown that kind of love and we canÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t give that kind of love, how are we supposed to receive it and accept it? My husband said, Ã¢â‚¬Å“Well dear, the only way I can love you that much is because God loves me that much.Ã¢â‚¬Â I kind of blew that off by telling him that IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ve heard that before, but it doesnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t mean much. My husband responded, Ã¢â‚¬Å“Dear, He is showing you His love. I love you so much that nothing you could ever do could make me love you less, so by me showing you love and by you receiving love from me, you are experiencing GodÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s love.Ã¢â‚¬Â As soon as he said that I started crying. I felt so stupid for missing it! What an amazing picture! My husband was there through so many bad things. I tried to push him away, but he never went anywhere. When that didnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t work I tried to run away and hide from him, but that didnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t work either because he was still there. How many times did I treat God the same way growing up? It was a perfect parallel! Why didnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t I see it? As I cried in my husbandÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s arms I felt my heart open. I felt GodÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s love pouring into me and in turn I felt a much deeper love and appreciation for my dear husband. I donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t know why it took me so long to realize it when it was right in front of me for the last seven years! My prayer, God answered years ago, but for me to understand my prayer was answered took the first month of married life and I am very grateful for that.
10 years agouragayrobot
"Do you hear that?"--Sarge "Yes, that noise is called water. It is very wet and very sloshy."--Caboose "I was talking about the trumpet, bluetard."--Sarge "I have to go to the bathroom now for some reason, which is odd because I already went when we were standing in the creek together."--Caboose
"Get over here. Give me a boost."--Sarge "Ok. You are a good person and people say nice things about you."--Caboose "Not a moral boost, moron,m a physical one. I need to see what's in that window."--Sarge "That window is very high, I don't think you are tall enough."--Caboose "I know. I need you to help me look through it."--Sarge "I don't think I am tall enough either. Also, my head is round; that window is square."--Caboose
"What do you see?"--Sarge "I see a room."--Caboose "And? What's in the room?"--Sarge "There are some walls and some ceilings. Wait, just one ceiling."--Caboose
"That's your plan? All you said was whisper whisper whisper."--Sarge "I know. I just wanted to be the one with the plan for once."--Caboose
"Oh blue team look what--wait, I messed up my line. Let's start over."--Caboose
"Wait. I can make them listen. I can beat them. I just have to concentrate on bad things, like milk--no wait--red, Redbull."--Caboose
"I just need to get angry and say mean things, like your brain is a mountain of hatred."--Caboose
"I never thought I'd reach the moment in my life when I actually miss Grif, but here it is."--Sarge
"Now I am thinking about kittens, kittens covered in spikes. That makes me angry! AHHH! My name is Michael J. Caboose and I hate babies!"--Caboose
"I will eat your unhappiness."--Caboose
"What happened? The last thing I remember was a very mean kitten and then we were in this janitor's closet and my throat hurts a lot."--Caboose
"A guy from training. His name is Wyoming."--Tex "Finally a name dumber than Donut."--Tucker
"Look at what I took credit for finding."--Caboose
"That's ok. I have a really bad memory--Wow! Look; a beach!"--Caboose
"He's like an ox."--Sarge "But I have no horns or lumberjack friends."--Caboose
"A duck? Where? I love ducks."--Caboose
"That is a plus sign, not an X."--Caboose
"Umm, no, that doesn't sound like me. I like people and buildings also."--Caboose
"Would you stop saying bad things that come true, or say them ten seconds earlier?"--Caboose
"I am so happy that you made it in time to die with me. We will get to be smithereens together."--Caboose
"Time isn't made up out of lines. It is made out of circles. That is why clocks are round."--Caboose
"Who are you going to believe? Me, or some super smart stupid talking computer?"--Tucker
"I'm not really in the market for new friends. I'm not sure I'm happy with the current crop. No offense, Sarge."--Simmons
"Monkeying about?"--Grif "it's a real phrase."--Simmons "Bullshit. That's what you said about horse doodling."--Grif
"While we're sitting here jabbering, the reds are over there monkeying about."--Church
"Oh, I know all the details. They were in their car, the boss hog, when Simmons heard a distress signal on the radio and Gruf was in the back seat with a monkey."--Caboose "I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume some of that is wrong."--Tucker
"Say something Andy. You are embarrassing me in front of my friends."--Caboose
"Also, I wouldn't really call us friends. We're more like acquaintances or people who work with other people they hate."--Tucker
"Grif, if there's one thing that I've learned in working with you is that there is always margin for error."--Simmons
"Do we really have to seize destiny? Can't we just invite it to join our online circle of friends?"--Doc "Quiet you fool and quit sending me those invites. They're repulsive."--O'Malley
"Tell him about the moodiness and crankiness."--Caboose
"Also mention that you like to punch people in the head while they sleep."--Tucker "That was you? I thought the tooth fairy was mad at me."--Caboose
"Simmons, kiss ass at will."--Sarge "You are both an excellent leader and a handsome man, sir."--Simmons
"I'm too young to die! I'm too pretty to die! Ahhh! I haven't even seen Paris yet."--Donut
"Shot gun."--Simmons "Shot gun. Fuck."--Grif "Shot gun's lap."--Donut "Fuck."--Simmons
"You know I always get a little nervous during battles. I think it's 'cause we never win."--Caboose
"I like eggs."--Caboose
"Ok, new rule. We start rotating knockouts. Next time, it's your turn."--Tucker "Hey good idea. And next time Caboose decides he wants to go around team killing, you can take that one."--Church "Maybe we should all stick to what we know best."--Tucker
"And then I ran over the guy that was chasing us and a few other innocent pedestrians."--Donut
"What happened to your body Church?"--Tex and Tucker "What happened to somebody Church?"--Caboose
"I know my name. You can ask me if you forget."--Caboose
"This is the best game since Grifball."--Sarge
"Hey Grif, move back and forth like one of those ducks at the carnival. No don't duck that makes ya harder to hit. Act like a duck. "--Sarge
"Take that you stupid duck."--Sarge
"Does talking count as moving?"--Caboose
"Did we win?"--Caboose "Yeah, Caboose we won. This is our victory lap."--Tucker
"Does it ever bother you that the most take-charge guy on our team is a girl?"--Tucker
"I think I will call him Crunch-Bite."--Caboose
"I think Blarg means me or apples. Guys, Apples must be the name of his cat. Quick, quick, is Apples stuck in a tree? I will call the fire department."--Caboose
"Fluffy, the alien that only loves."--Caboose
"That's Bitchpants McCrabby."--Tucker to Tex
"Not me. I call you Mrs. McCrabby."--Caboose
"Have you ever considered the fact that his name is Honk Honk?"--Tex "Do you have any idea how stupid that sounds?"--Tucker "Yeah, seriously, what kind of name is Honk Honk? Hey alien, is your name Honk Honk?"--Church "Blarg."--Al
10 years agouragayrobot
You? You're surrendering. You don't get anything except humiliation and ridicule--Simmons
We already got that. What else do you have?--Tucker
How about you admit the red team sucks?--Church "What if we admit that one of us sucks?"--Sarge "Nice. Wait. You mean Donut, right?"--Grif
I would just like to let everyone know that I suck. I'm a girl and I like ribbons in my hair and I want to kiss all the boys--Grif
Oh man, that is a burn. Dude, you just got burned. Burn dude. Burn--Donut "Oh shut up. Your armor's pink"--Simmons
Come on dude, Celsius sucks--Tucker
Hey, pretty in pink, were you messing with my robot?--Sarge
Is it like a screaming, high-pitched whistling noise followed by a series of random clicks?--Tucker
All I hear is that voice, you know, telling us to kill all of our friends before they have a chance to kill us. Wait. You guys don't hear that?--Caboose
Hey, Sarge, new rule, how about we just don't take anymore prisoners? 'Cause we suck at it--Simmons
Something about hiring better help that doesn't just stand around watching you die!--Sarge
Why don't you just try walking on your hands? Then you could use your feet for high fives and eating sandwiches. You know, the important stuff--Caboose
Dammit Caboose! In the short time I've known you, you managed to call my girlfriend a slut, blow me up with a tank, shoot me in the head, and now paralyze me from the waist down. So I hope it's not too much for me to ask just for once if you'd shut your freakin' mouth!--Church
We were just playing a game--Caboose
He's shy--Caboose "That's sad. He is shy"--Grif
He's not going to attack. He's a pussyfest--Tucker
Ah, whatever. Let's tie him up and roll him through the teleporter--Tucker
Is it? Or is it so ridiculous it's the most ridiculously perfect idea that you never thought of?--Caboose
I can't believe I failed out of medical school for this--Doc
Well, why don't you just leave his body and then Tucker and I will make him fix you and my girlfriend--Caboose
Girlfriend? What you retard?--Church
I mean, Tucker and I will make him fix you and the beautiful tank lady who mean nothing to me, then we can get you back in his body when he is done--Caboose
I'm confused. That actually seems like a good idea--Tucker "I know"--Church "But Caboose said it"--Tucker "I know"--Church
I don't know. I thought I was dreaming so I punched you in the face to make sure I wasn't--Tucker
Did you see something weird Sarge?--Simmons "Why yes, I did. Once when I was a small child, I saw a man who claimed to be my uncle do this thing with a garden hose that still haunts me to this day"--Sarge
What was all that stuff about your uncle?--Simmons "I keep telling everyone he wasn't my uncle. He wasn't!"--Sarge "Do you want to talk about it?"--Simmons "Just get back in the damn jeep"--Sarge
Lopez's primary objectives: 1. Fix Everything 2. Hate the orange one 3. Call mom more often
Dancing time!--Caboose "The heart of this warrior cries out in sorry. Why does this one mock me with his foolish dancing? Are those moves supposed to make him look like a robot? They do not. I am offended by this"--Lopez
We have intelligence?--Donut
Heauegerkergerk!--the sound of ghosts possessing bodies
Tucker, there is a very fine line between not listening and not caring. I'd like to think that I walk that line every day of my life--Church
You back-stabbing ass monkeys--Simmons
Oh, I see, you have no idea what I should do or how I should do it, but whatever I do, I should do it fast. Wow, you guys are a lot of help.--Tucker
I remember thinking 'where can I hang out with no pants on?'--Donut "Oh God!"--Grif
Do not touch that button--Sheila "Oh sorry. Maybe it's this one"--Tucker "Do not touch me"--Sheila "You know for a girl your size, you're kind of sensitive"--Tucker
I try not to think while I'm sleeping--Caboose "That's pretty much how you function while you're awake too"--Tucker
Simmons, I need your ovaries--Donut
He is a bad influence and he is taking advantage of her because she is young and naive and delicate--Caboose "Delicate? She weighs like 200 tons, dude"--Tucker "She is a precious flower"--Caboose
Sheila, come back to me. I made you a muffin!--Caboose
I could be double O Donut--Donut "You mean like Doonut?"--Simmons
I will devour their hearts and crap out their souls. They will all taste oblivion, which tastes just like Redbull, which is disgusting"--O'Malley
Silence, woman--Tucker to Donut
Are you becoming retarded?--Tucker to Church in Donut's body
Are we going to have a sleepover because that would be sweet--Donut "You're a nice lady"--Caboose
Man, we should really get a day planner or something because this shit is just getting ridiculous--Tucker
Private Donut? That sounds like Private Biscuit--Caboose
Get ready to launch operation circle of confusion--Church "Ah, Church, it kinda looks more like a triangle from down here"--Tucker "What?"--Church "I'm just saying it doesn't look much like a circle, it looks more like we are forming a triangle, just a side note"--Tucker "OK, fine, triangle of confusion, rhombus of terror, parabola of mystery, who cares? Get the goddamn show on the road!"--Church
Church, how come Tucker gets to nap during battles and I don't?--Caboose
Prepare to surrender dirtbag--Sarge "OK. I surrender. Now it's your turn"--Caboose
My toes are getting pruny--Caboose "Ooookay," Sarge
Look a sleeping person--Caboose
Oh good. At first I thought that was me because I am blue and I like to sleep, but if he is dead that cannot be me. That would be silly.--Caboose
Look! More sleeping people. It must be nap time, but who has nap time now? Nap time comes before pants time, not after. I think these people are just making up times--Caboose
10 years agouragayrobot
I just refuse to call him Private Donut--Grif
Hello Sheila, big tank lady--Caboose
No no wait go back. Why are there six pedals if there are only four directions?--Caboose
You shot Church you team killing fucktard--Tucker
Last time I unlocked it, I killed Church--Caboose
Am I talking to the right base?--Sarge
Running, running, running--Caboose
Sheila's the lady in the tank. She was my friend--Caboose
You're not Church. Church is blue. You're white--Caboose
Is this the warning?--Caboose
I swear to God, Caboose your ass is haunted. When we're done here I'm gonna haunt you--Church
Hey, Tex, I don't know what it's been like at your other bases but we try not to use other soldiers as target practice here--Tucker
We'll just stay here and guard the transporter--Caboose
He told me he thought you were a retarded monkey and he is going to suspend your weapon privilege--Simmons
What? Is it a spider? Get it off!--Donut
Hey Church, what've you been up to?--Caboose
That Sidewinder is cold!--Caboose
Whatever, no one likes you anyway--Simmons
Yep. He's definitely captured or dead. Captured or dead? Or captured and dead!--Caboose
You cock-biting fucktards!--Tex
Let me get this straight, you're telling me that the guy that showed up here, scared the living shit out of us, shot at Caboose and beat the hell out of the reds wasn't a guy at all, that he was a chick? And on top of that she was your ex-girlfriend?--Tucker
I should've known, she didn't like me. Girls never like me--Caboose
Caboose, I don't think anybody likes you--Tucker
I like me--Caboose
A.I. What's the A stand for?--Caboose "Artificial"--Church "What's the I...?"--Caboose "Intelligence"--Church "Ohhh. What was the A again?"--Caboose "Let's move on"--Church
Oh hell no. She's always been a rotten bitch--Church
That guy Tex is really a robot and you're his boyfriend so that makes you a gay robot--Caboose
Yeah, that's right. I'm a gay robot--Church
A plan? Oh man, I hate plans. That means we're going to have to do stuff. Can't we just have a strategy or a mission statement?--Tucker
Ouchie! You lied to me--Caboose
Seriously man, like an ass--Grif
Move it cupcake--Sarge
Oh oh oh! Tucker, Tucker, Tucker, is that Church? Tell him that I said to tell him hi--Caboose
No, I'll tell him you said hi later. No, you can't talk to him, how could you possibly talk to him on my headset?--Tucker
They can't see me because I can't see them--Caboose
Permission to speak freely sir?--Grif "Go ahead"--Church as Sarge "That's really fuckin' gross"--Grif
Hey Tucker?--Caboose "What?"--Tucker "I'm having a really good time with you"--Caboose
Who spit on my visor?--Sarge
What? That's it? OK? You're not surprised by any of this?--Church "No, it pretty much all makes sense"--Tex "Not even the whole Church is a ghost thing? That didn't do anyting for you?"--Church "I can see right through you, it's pretty obvious"--Tex
One of the red guys has Tex. I'm going to shoot him and kill him and free Tex. Then Church will forgive me for killing him and we will be friends--Caboose "Oh come on, you don't actually believe any of that do you?"--Tucker "Oh we are going to be best friends"--Caboose "Where did my body go? Oh, you gotta be kidding me!"--Church "Tucker did it"--Caboose
It's pink. Your armor is frickin' pink!--Grif
It's not pink it's like a lightish red--Donut
They already have a color for lightish red. You know what it's call? Pink!--Grif
I hate you guys--Donut
Well hello dirt bags and fine hello to you madam--Sarge "It's light red"--Donut "Don't get your panties in a wad there Barbie"--Sarge
Sir, I won't say I told you so Sir--Simmons "Good. I'd hate to make strawberry shortcake here my new favorite private"--Sarge "It's not pink, it's lightish red!"--Donut
Don't make me mad--Caboose
Lopez, would you like to shoot Grif?--Sarge
No you can't I'm already dead bitch. I guess the jokes on you--Church
Wait, you know how to fix Sheila? I love you--Caboose
I'm from Iowa--Donut "Nobody cares!"--Grif and Simmons
She is a very strong lady--Caboose
Right. I'll come with you--Caboose "That kind of defeats the purpose Caboose"--Church "OK. What if I'm really, really, quiet?"--Caboose "Do you even understand what the term visibility means?"--Church "Ahh, good one Church"--Caboose "Seriously, you don't know what it means, do you?"--Church "No"--Caboose "Caboose, just stay here man and try not to swallow your tongue or anything like that"--Church
So, let's say I paid you to kill Caboose? You would still do it right? Even though you're supposed to be helping us?"--Tucker "Is this a hypothetical discussion or should we start talking numbers?"--Tex "Yeah, I don't wan to talk about this anymore"--Tucker
I have an idea. I have an idea!--Caboose "Yeah, we heard you the first time Caboose, we were just ignoring you"--Tucker
I think you are a mean ghost--Caboose
A.I.?--Caboose "Shut up, Caboose"--Church
Tell you what; kill me I promise not to come back--Tucker
Calling Church, come in Church--Caboose
Church is getting mad at us--Caboose
Man, that girl's got a really good arm--Tucker
Why did you introduce me second?--Caboose "Because he hates you"--Tucker
I bet I have better vitals than you. What's a vital?--Caboose
You're a thing babies suck on?--Caboose
Nice shot, cupcake--Sarge
Maybe you should lay off the trigger you dumbass--Simmons
Left? Let's see, that makes an L with your thumb--Caboose
I can't believe Church shot me--Caboose "Oh, don't even start Caboose!"--Church
Oh, I got one. Sometimes when I fall asleep at night I think about my parents having sex and I get really really mad for some reason--Caboose
We want your flag--Sarge -"Wait, wait just a second. The last time we got the flag the chick in the balck armor showed up"--Simmons -"to stay right where it is. Keep the flag."--Sarge
2019 years agouragayrobot
2019 years agouragayrobot
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