It's been quite a while since I posted anything, hasn't it? Well, for my 7 stalkers out there, I've got some news if you're interested in me enough to be watching me.
Sneaked out of my house at midnight into my Spanish teacher's house to spend the night with her daughter. Left at 5 a.m. and walked the 5 miles home. Got home at 6:43; two minutes before my grandfather woke up. Slept for 30 minutes, then worked outside in the Florida heat and humidity for four hours doing yard work.
Started going out with my spanish teacher's daughter.
Went to Connecticut to visit my step-grandfather
Was broken up with by my spanish teacher's daughter
I got my hair done. I got it layered, thinned, and had the bottom layer dyed black.
Got the new 32 Gig Iphone 4G (3GS? Not sure if there is a difference)
8 years agozeik101
It's been quite a while since I posted anything, hasn't it? Well, for my 7 stalkers out there, I've got some news if you're interested in me enough to be watching me.
Like the name of the thread says, I would like to know how you cam across this group.
If you clicked on one of our advertisments on this site, please describe it.
If someone invited you, please tell who.
If you were on another site, please tell the name of the site.
Post edited 5/16/10 10:48AM
Here are a few books we recommend if you are interested in learning more about some of these issues:
American Medical Association's Essential Guide to Depression
Bloodletting (A Memoir of Secrets, Self-Harm & Survival) by Victoria Leatham
Bodily Harm: The Breakthrough Healing Program for Self-Injurers by Karen Conterio, Wendy Lader and Jennifer Kingsonbloom
Cutting (Understanding and Overcoming Self-Mutilation) by Steven Levenkron
[linkhttp://www.amazon.com/Grief-Observed-C-S-Lewis/dp/0060652381/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1221149239&sr=1-1]A Grief Observed[/link] by C.S. Lewis
The Last Addiction: Own Your Desire, Live Beyond Recovery, Find Lasting Freedom by Sharon A. Hersh
Purpose for the Pain by Renee Yohe
Recovering from Losses in Life by H. Norman Wright
An Unquiet Mind (A Memoir of Moods and Madness) by Kay Redfield Jamison
We are continually working to provide the most helpful and up to date resources available today. If there is a resource that you believe should be listed on this website or at the very least should be used as a referral for individuals needing help, please email firstname.lastname@example.org.
We are not a 24-hour helpline. We are not trained professionals. TWLOHA hopes to serve as a bridge to help.
If this is an emergency, or if you are worried that you or someone you know may be at risk for suicide, please call your local authorities (911), contact a mental health professional, or call and talk to someone at 1-800-SUICIDE 1-800-SUICIDE.
To report child abuse or exploitation please go to NCMEC CyberTipline
Befrienders Worldwide - To find a helpline in your area of the world go to www.befrienders.org - Ã¢â‚¬Å“We work worldwide to provide emotional support, and reduce suicide. We listen to people who are in distress. We don't judge them or tell them what to do - we listen.Ã¢â‚¬Â
To Find Help in Australia or in the UK
TWLOHA was founded and is based in Central Florida. We have resources dedicated to meeting needs on a local level. Please email email@example.com for more information if you are looking for help and live locally.
HELPLINES - IF YOU NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO:
National Hopeline Network (U.S.A.) - www.hopeline.com - 1-800-SUICIDE 1-800-SUICIDE
S.A.F.E. Alternatives - www.selfinjury.com - Self Abuse Finally Ends
Childhelp Ã¢â‚¬â€œ www.childhelp.org - 1-800-4-A-CHILD 1-800-4-A-CHILD - National Child Abuse Hotline
National Domestic Violence Helpline - www.ndvh.org - 1-800-799-SAFE 1-800-799-SAFE
Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network - www.rainn.org Ã¢â‚¬â€œ 1-800-656-HOPE 1-800-656-HOPE National Sexual Assault Hotline
National Eating Disorders Association - www.nationaleatingdisorders.org - 1-800-931-2237 1-800-931-2237
The Trevor Helpline is the only nationwide, around-the-clock crisis and suicide prevention helpline for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning (LGBTQ) youth. All calls are confidential and toll-free from anywhere in the United States, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. 866-4-U-TREVOR ( 866-488-7386 866-488-7386)
Please, upon joining. Give us your story as Renee did. No need to sugar coat anything, it's my hope for us to speak freely. We are all in this together
now. This isn't one person's story, this is OUR STORY.
As I would never ask anything of anyone that I would not do myself, I will go first.
I'm Kyle, 16 years old. Born in Florida, I was raised in Connecticut. I was raised by my mommy Anne Michelle Shorette. I have 2 older brothers and an older sister that lived in Florida with their father. My father left either before I was born, or when I was too little to remember. My mom rose me as a single working parent. She had boyfriends throughout, and married once when I was 3, though I didn't know he was my step-father until i was about 12. As long as I can remember, my mommy had poor taste in men. I did not find out till I was about 12, that she used to help people get into the country illegally. Might explain why all her boyfriends where hispanic. I love my mommy, and I used to tell her I hate her rather often. I do not regret that, because I never went to bed mad at her. I made sure to apologize and tell her I love her before I went to bed each night.
The first place I remember living is with my step-grandfather, my mommy's step-father. I was about two at the time. It was a two story pink house, and everyone in my world lived there. My mom, her boyfriend/husband Jim (i'm not sure which), me, my step-grandfather, my mommy's best friend and "sister" Stacy, Stacy's husband John, and their kids Justin and Meghan.
When I was 4, we lived with her boyfriend Evaristo. Being 4 I can't claim my sense of time was keen, but it seemed as if the cops were called atleast every week. He would get drunk, and attack my her. My most distinct memory of it, is one night that got really bad. My mommy and I hid in the bed room which had a deadbolt lock, and a chain lock that allows you to open the door a little bit. We locked both locks, and she pushed the dresser infront of the door. He was beating on the door, and screaming. Somehow, he got in, and started choking my mom. I can remember her face being red and purple, and telling me to call the police. Me being 4 and not even in kindergarten, I didn't even know about 911. All I remember is the cops coming in and stopping it somehow.
The next boyfriend I remember was Louis. He wasn't as bad I guess. I remember I was in atleast 1st grade. One night he got drunk. It was a small apartment building and a smaller room we were in. Again, drunk, he tried to attack my mommy. I was atleast 6 at the time, and I got between them. He went to hit her, and I got in the way and got hit. He went to get on top of her and beat her, and I ran down stairs to look for help. When I came back, he had taken the car and left. He was caught and put in prison a short time later, but I don't think it was for attacking her. I remember she went to go visit him once and I didn't want her to.
At some points in my life, I can't remember exactly when it was, we lived with my mom's friend Anna and her boyfriend Hector. That was not a good time either. I can remember one night in which Hector pulled Anna by her hair from the bathroom to the bedroom across the apartment. It was all getting pretty old by this time.
I had always been pretty good in school and I worked hard for my mommy. I did all my work and I behaved well. All my teachers loved me. In third grade, I had a teacher named Mrs. Dickman. I hated the school I was in. In that school, white was the minority. There was only one other white kid in my class. Being a red head didn't help much either. I was picked on constantly and had almost no friends. Almost all the work had to do with writing, and I was a VERY slow writer. I could only get one or two assignments finished daily, out of ten or more. I was doing very poorly. I remembered how scared I was when my mommy went to talk to the teacher for progress reports. She knew I was having trouble in school, but that I did all my homework, so I didn't get in trouble even though I had bad grades because she knew it wasn't my fault. I love my mommy!
Between second and third grades, I started spending less time with my mommy. My step-grandfather lived about a mile from us. I would stay the night at his house, go to school, come home, then he would come bring me back to his house. I remember one night I felt bad about not being with her. I know now that it hurt her alot. I called her on the phone crying and telling her that I did love her.
When I was 8, and in 3rd grade, my mommy started seeing her boyfriend Pepe. He was definately the best of them all. There were some rough spots that I didn't like him, but overall, he was a good guy. We lived in another small house, renting out the top floor. We shared the house with his brother. I wasn't here for it, but my mommy picked me up from wherever I was staying, and she had a black eye. His brother and her had gotten into a fight, and he had hit her by accident. I was not pleased. I remember punching him in the face. Eventually i forgave him. He proposed to my mommy and they were engaged for a while.
Post edited 4/02/10 7:20PM
Pedro the Lion is loud in the speakers, and the city waits just outside our open windows. She sits and sings, legs crossed in the passenger seat, her pretty voice hiding in the volume. Music is a safe place and Pedro is her favorite. It hits me that she won't see this skyline for several weeks, and we will be without her. I lean forward, knowing this will be written, and I ask what she'd say if her story had an audience. She smiles. "Tell them to look up. Tell them to remember the stars."
I would rather write her a song, because songs don't wait to resolve, and because songs mean so much to her. Stories wait for endings, but songs are brave things bold enough to sing when all they know is darkness. These words, like most words, will be written next to midnight, between hurricane and harbor, as both claim to save her.
Renee is 19. When I meet her, cocaine is fresh in her system. She hasn't slept in 36 hours and she won't for another 24. It is a familiar blur of coke, pot, pills and alcohol. She has agreed to meet us, to listen and to let us pray. We ask Renee to come with us, to leave this broken night. She says she'll go to rehab tomorrow, but she isn't ready now. It is too great a change. We pray and say goodbye and it is hard to leave without her.
She has known such great pain; haunted dreams as a child, the near-constant presence of evil ever since. She has felt the touch of awful naked men, battled depression and addiction, and attempted suicide. Her arms remember razor blades, fifty scars that speak of self-inflicted wounds. Six hours after I meet her, she is feeling trapped, two groups of "friends" offering opposite ideas. Everyone is asleep. The sun is rising. She drinks long from a bottle of liquor, takes a razor blade from the table and locks herself in the bathroom. She cuts herself, using the blade to write "FUCK UP" large across her left forearm.
The nurse at the treatment center finds the wound several hours later. The center has no detox, names her too great a risk, and does not accept her. For the next five days, she is ours to love. We become her hospital and the possibility of healing fills our living room with life. It is unspoken and there are only a few of us, but we will be her church, the body of Christ coming alive to meet her needs, to write love on her arms.
She is full of contrast, more alive and closer to death than anyone I've known, like a Johnny Cash song or some theatre star. She owns attitude and humor beyond her 19 years, and when she tells me her story, she is humble and quiet and kind, shaped by the pain of a hundred lifetimes. I sit privileged but breaking as she shares. Her life has been so dark yet there is some soft hope in her words, and on consecutive evenings, I watch the prettiest girls in the room tell her that she's beautiful. I think it's God reminding her.
I've never walked this road, but I decide that if we're going to run a five-day rehab, it is going to be the coolest in the country. It is going to be rock and roll. We start with the basics; lots of fun, too much Starbucks and way too many cigarettes.
Thursday night she is in the balcony for Band Marino, Orlando's finest. They are indie-folk-fabulous, a movement disguised as a circus. She loves them and she smiles when I point out the A&R man from Atlantic Europe, in town from London just to catch this show.
She is in good seats when the Magic beat the Sonics the next night, screaming like a lifelong fan with every Dwight Howard dunk. On the way home, we stop for more coffee and books, Blue Like Jazz and (Anne Lamott's) Travelling Mercies.
On Saturday, the Taste of Chaos tour is in town and I'm not even sure we can get in, but doors do open and minutes after parking, we are on stage for Thrice, one of her favorite bands. She stands ten feet from the drummer, smiling constantly. It is a bright moment there in the music, as light and rain collide above the stage. It feels like healing. It is certainly hope.
Sunday night is church and many gather after the service to pray for Renee, this her last night before entering rehab. Some are strangers but all are friends tonight. The prayers move from broken to bold, all encouraging. We're talking to God but I think as much, we're talking to her, telling her she's loved, saying she does not go alone. One among us knows her best. Ryan sits in the corner strumming an acoustic guitar, singing songs she's inspired.
After church our house fills with friends, there for a few more moments before goodbye. Everyone has some gift for her, some note or hug or piece of encouragement. She pulls me aside and tells me she would like to give me something. I smile surprised, wondering what it could be. We walk through the crowded living room, to the garage and her stuff.
She hands me her last razor blade, tells me it is the one she used to cut her arm and her last lines of cocaine five nights before. She's had it with her ever since, shares that tonight will be the hardest night and she shouldn't have it. I hold it carefully, thank her and know instantly that this moment, this gift, will stay with me. It hits me to wonder if this great feeling is what Christ knows when we surrender our broken hearts, when we trade death for life.
As we arrive at the treatment center, she finishes: "The stars are always there but we miss them in the dirt and clouds. We miss them in the storms. Tell them to remember hope. We have hope."
I have watched life come back to her, and it has been a privilege. When our time with her began, someone suggested shifts but that is the language of business. Love is something better. I have been challenged and changed, reminded that love is that simple answer to so many of our hardest questions. Don Miller says we're called to hold our hands against the wounds of a broken world, to stop the bleeding. I agree so greatly.
Post edited 4/02/10 1:49PM
9 years agozeik101
This thread is for the specifications on the Ships in the Helios RPs.
The Crimson Fire is a Phoenix-class starship
Background of ship:
The Phoenix-class Colony Ship is a ship classification within the United Nations Space Command. The Phoenix-class starship, among others, are often modified into warships such as the UNSC Spirit of Fire, which is
a modified Phoenix, converted for wartime-use towards the newly encountered Covenant alien alliance. The refitted ships carry vehicles, troops, and supplies as support for ground forces. It also carries the resources
necessary to build bases.
The Phoenix-class is 2.5 km long, making it one of the largest known UNSC ships in the organization's naval history.
The Phoenix-class ships were designed to transport thousands of colonists from Earth, or one of the other Inner Colonies, as well as terraforming equipment to alter the existing atmosphere and/or biosphere to become
compatible with human habitation. Once the terraforming is completed, the colonists settle the planet. On at least one instance, a colony ship was decommissioned to aid in the development of a colony.
Once converted, a Phoenix-class ship can become an extremely effective troop transport and orbital support ship, carrying thousands of Marines, significant supplies and equipment, and, if equipped with a Magnetic
Accelerator Cannon during conversion, is able to attack ground targets from orbit in support of ground operations. It can also use Pelican and Albatross dropships and Pods to deploy ground forces and establish bases of
operation. It is even able to participate in atmosphere to a degree. However, despite the conversion of the Phoenix-class from a Colony transport ship to a warship, it is still underpowered as far as most warships go; the
super-structure of the Spirit of Fire is vulnerable to light pulse laser fire, and despite the addition of armor plating, the outer edges of the hull were ripped away when the ship nearly collided with a Covenant Destroyer of
about the same size. The Magnetic Accelerator Cannon can fire multiple times consecutively, but each round is less powerful than the cannon's used by other UNSC warships
Length: - At 3 kilometers, the Crimson Fire is slightly bigger then a normal Phoenix-Class Colony ship.
Width: - At its widest point, the ship is 2 kilometers wide
Slipspace Drive - Shaw-Fujikawa Translight Engine
Slipspace Speed - Though words and measurements such as time, distance, and velocity have no true meaning when talking about slipspace, were one to explain the relative speed, it
would be about 2.2 light-years a day
Two (2) Magnetic Accelerator Cannons - These standard ship-mounted MAC's fire a 600-ton ferric-tungsten projectile with a depleted uranium core at 40% the speed of light. This
produces a kinetic energy level of 1.17 Teratons per shot. One is placed on both the Port and Starboard sides of the ship, and can be rotated a full 180 degrees in any direction. The reload time of each gun is about 5
seconds, and should be shot alternately for best results. The MACs are non-guided and must be aimed to where the target is GOING TO BE.
Twenty-Five (25) Archer Missile Pods, of 30 missiles each - The Archer Missles Totalling at seven hundred and fifty (750) are used for Ship-to-Ship engagements. They are High-
Explosive Ordinance, and though they are effectively useless against energy shields, such as those used by Covenant forces, against unshielded targets they work marvels. The Archer Missiles are Computer guided and the
missile can be maneuvered mid-flight.
Sixty (60) Point Defense Guns - The Point defense guns NOT used to engage Capital ships. Instead they are meant to attack smaller threats such as Longswords, Seraphs, and Boarding
craft. Because they humans lack the necessary reflexive responses, the Auto cannons are computer controlled. The guns fire 50mm High-Explosive projectiles. A magazine contains 1200 rounds, and each turret carries 4
belt-fed magazines, with a standard fire rate of 400rpm with a maximum of 1000rpm. The optimum range of a PDG is 250 meters with an accuracy of one meter of the intended target, though the maximum effective range
can be extended to 800 meters when controlled by a smart AI.
Commanding Officers: Colonels Zeik Strauss and Tom Payne
Fifty (50) NPC crew members
1 named - Sheila
Personal secretary to Colonel Strauss
One hundred (100) NPC Soldiers
50 - ODST
50 - Marines
Twenty (20) Dropship 77-Troop Carriers (Pelicans)
Twenty (20) Shortsword-class Bomber
Ten (10) AV-14 Attack VTOL (Hornet)
Five (5) Albatrosses
One hundred and Fifty (150) Single Occupant Exoatmospheric Insertion Vehicle - Three (3) for each ODST
Three hundred (300) Cryo-chamber
Three hundred (300) Bumblebee Escape Pod
Post edited 3/31/10 9:37PM
sender >> recipient
>> Sender's message
/> Recipient's message
[Firebrand, Peter] >> [Houlka, Indiana]
>> Hey Indy
>> I need you to send the Warthog Ambulance to Tori's location
>> Sending GPS co-ordinates to your HUD now
(and if Indy replied, it would look like this)
[Firebrand, Peter] >> [Houlka, Indiana]
/> Coordinates recieved
/> What happened to her?
(And for when you're talking to an NPC like the computer database...)
[Finch, Alexander] >> WMB.BDOCR.DEFNET
>> Bring [HMG TURRET 1] online
/> [HMG TURRET 1] ONLINE
>> Scan for targets
/> TARGET LOCKED
>> Open fire
Human senders look like this:
[Surname, Given] - For example [Houlka, Indiana], [Waddell, Cameron], [Firebrand, Peter]
Non-human senders are as follows:
[Helios.AI.Meloscent] - Me, Military 'Smart' AI, Meloscent
[Terminal Directory] - The computer terminal you are typing from
[UNSC.PillarOfAutumn] - A UNSC spaceship, the Pillar Of Autumn being used as an example
[Craft_Unidentified] - Any vehicle with a computer system or radio that the system doesn't recognize
~~For anything else, use your imagination!~~
Internal addresses are as follows:
[Helios.BDOCR] - The WMB database
[Helios.BDOCR.COMM] - The Communications node
- Retina Text Messenger
[Helios.BDOCR.CCTVDA] - The CCTV Data Array cameras node
- Cameras (general)
- Cameras (medical)
- Laboratory Microscopes
[Helios.BDOCR.SENSYS] - The long-range Sensor Systems node
- Seismic Sensors
[Helios.BDOCR.DEFNET] - The automated Defence Network node
- Heavy Machine Gun turrets (10) - [HMG TURRET #]
- Galilean-Class Laser turrets (5) - [GL TURRET #]
- ARCHER Missile Silos (3) (250each) - [ARCHER #]
- Automated Fire Extinguisher System - [AFES]
[Helios.BDOCR.LAN] - The Local Area Network node
- Fibre-optics cabling
- Wifi networks
- UNSCTTP internet
[Helios.BDOCR.VAPS] - Vehicle Auto-Pilot System node
- Mongoose/Puma [M#]
- Warthog (general) [W#]
- Warthog (ambulance) [WA]
- Scorpion [S#]
- Hornet [H#]
[WMB.BDOCR.SS2556] - The Simsuite
Run system diagnostic
- RUNNING SYSTEM DIAGNOSTIC
Bring turret/vehicle online
- turret/vehicle ONLINE
Take turret/vehicle offline
- turret/vehicle OFFLINE
Search for target
- TARGET LOCKED
- ATTACK WITHDRAWN
- AUTO-PILOT ENGAGED
Seal base access points
- DOORS SEALED
Seal interior section area of base
- AREA SEALED
Vent atmosphere section area of base
- ATMOSPHERE VENTED
(Note that Helios.BDOCR always responds in CAPS except when describing something within [brackets])
No questions have been answered yet